Time After Time.
A Harry Potter based fanfic by MCGEEandME.
Disclaimer: I don't own Severus Snape, or Lily Potter or James or Harry. But I do own Rose Griphons, but of course you do not know her yet. And I own these events (well, most), and the actions these wonderful characters perform.
Severus and his 'angel' walked through a blank white gap, and kept walking although Severus did not know where they were heading.
"Now you can't do this for Lily. It must be for yourself."
"Don't you know me well enough to know that I don't know what the hell your talking about?" snickered Severus.
"Uh. Severus, Sev, may I call you Sev?"
"No!"
"Fine, Severus, but you really need to get over that." Severus pursed his lips. "So, Lily. You can't do this for Lily. You can't go out there and find a woman because Lily wants you to be happy. And you can't do it to prove to James you're not a complete failure. You must do this for you. You must find love and keep it this time so that your life experiences that. You deserve this Severus. I don't care how many people you think you let die. There is the perfect woman waiting out there for you, and you will find her. You probably think you could never love anyone as you loved Lily, and that may be true. But you have to try. I've known for a long time, and I mean a long time. Just look at how old you are?...ok, I guess this isn't a time for jokes. But it is always possible to love again, even though you don't see it that way. Oh and, I got you some shampoo." Severus snickered, but took the shampoo anyway, looking at how thick and greasy it was.
"Severus, look at you! Have you been playing in the mud again! God damn, kid, wash yourself up! And stay inside next time. Don't become your mother, god damn filthy."
Severus looked at his father as though he would cry. He was only eight. Relieved, Severus saw his mother walk in.
"Tobias! Were you screaming at him! He's just a kid, Tobias! Don't frighten him!"
"Do this to show yourself that you can be loved. Don't mope around and wonder what you did wrong as a child. Don't keep wondering why your father didn't love you. Prove to yourself, not to him, but to yourself, that there is someone that will love you in every way possible. And stick with her this time…unless, you like men now?" He looked serious, but then chuckled. "I'm just messing with your head, boy."
He thinks he's so damn funny, huh? 'I'm just messing with your head'. I'd like to teach him in remedial potions! Thought Severus.
"Ok, well then. I think we've spent enough time together, eh? Lets go. Oh, and here's some clothes." The angel handed him jeans, a white tee-shirt and a long gray jacket.
"Sev! I got my robes today! There so gorgeous!" Lily had ran up to Severus at the playground. "Tuney said they were black and horrid."
"Well she's just jealous! She wants to be a witch, I know she does! But she deserves it, I tell ya…"
Lily's smile began to fade. "She's just a little sad, that's all. She just wants to go to Hogwarts. I try to make her feel better. You should too."
"I would never do that! You know me! And she doesn't even like the robes… Muggle clothing is disgusting anyways…"
"Now I know to get you jeans for your birthday."
"What are jeans?" he questioned. Lily laughed. Oh, how he loved that sweet laugh.
"These are hideous! I won't be seen at Hogwarts in these, will I?"
"Oh, well, you won't exactly be at Hogwarts, no…" he muttered.
Severus looked disgusted. "…almost as hideous as Weasley's dress robes for the Yule Ball!"
The angel chuckled. "You should crack the jokes from now on, eh?"
Yea, and you should shut up from now on, thought Severus.
The angel gave him a stern look of disapproval.
Didn't think that one through!
-x-
"Hold my arm, I'll apparate us to an abandoned bar not too far from our destination. And considering you are no longer a wizard…I'm not laughing, it's just a comment really!" But Severus still glared at the angel. "Firm grip, ok…"
And Severus could feel them spin around on the spot, being pulled through a tight tube, until they finally arrived at their destination in an old shabby bar. One man stood at the bar, stacking mugs and dishware into a bewitched bag.
"Is that…the scumface Fletcher?"
"Oh yes," said the angel. "He's been stealing from Muggle pubs now. Ok, so off we go, we have a tight schedule."
"Well we obviously can't be meeting anyone, I'm dead!" But the angel ignored this comment and walked out of the pub with Severus following close behind. As Severus existed the shop, he realized he now wore the hideous Muggle clothing the angel had given him.
Ugh, Angels, though Severus. If I was still a wizard, I'd hex him for abusing his power!
-x-
They arrived in Muggle London and Severus dodged men and woman walked through the square, shuffling home from work. Severus thought the image was odd: Although his father was a Muggle, he had never experienced the presence of all these men and women, walking and never stopping to think about magical presence.
"Ok, just a few seconds then…"
"What are we waiting for?" questioned Severus ignorantly.
Suddenly, the angel saw someone and quickly turned towards Severus. "Ok, don't talk to me right now, no one else can see me. Make sure to wash your hair. Go to 40 Gates Lane and the attendant will show you your room. Everything you need will be there. And good luck!"
And the angel disappeared, leaving Severus utterly bewildered. He stood there alone, until he felt someone bump into him from behind.
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" the woman exclaimed as she reached to pick up her papers she had dropped.
"Thank Merlin I didn't drop any coffee on you!" She stood up and he saw how beautiful she was. She had golden locks falling past her shoulders, bouncing up as she lifted her head. Her eyes were a dazzling blue. Her form was nicely built and she wore formal black pants along with a white knitted sweater and a long red scarf. She was short; Severus was nearly a foot taller than her. And her smile—her smile spread wide across her face, showing her brilliantly white teeth. Then her eyes narrowed, concentrating on him.
"Are you… are you, Severus Snape?" she asked oddly.
He was staring at her beautiful face when she said it. His eyebrows furrowed, wonderingly how the hell she could have known who he was. She was probably a Muggle, and he had never seen her before, and he had died….
"I'm sorry, I must have been mistaken. You looked very familiar to someone I once knew." She turned to go, but he reached out his hand and brushed her elbow. She turned back, startled.
Severues muttered, "I am… Severus Snape, I mean. I just hadn't recognized you, that's all…"
"Oh hi," she stuck out a hand and Severus took it and shook firmly. "I'm Rose Griphons. I'm sure you don't know me, but I went to Hogwarts with you. We never actually spoke, but I new Lily Evans. I watched you two a little…not in a creepy way though!" she added abruptly.
Severus let out a small laugh. He hadn't laughed in a long time.
"Not to be rude," she said, "But I had thought you passed away…"
Severus just realized it was his turn to talk. He had been staring at her beautifully soft hair….
"Oh well, there was something about the bite not piercing through the flesh right..." he murmured, feeling stupid at his excuse.
"Oh, I'm butting in, I'm sorry…I shouldn't have asked. Of course you're not dead, you're standing in front of me!" She seemed different than most girls. She was enthusiastic with everything and always smiled. But it also seemed that she picked her words carefully…and Severus wondered why. Did she care what he thought of her? Or did she not want to upset him?
Severus didn't know what to do…he hadn't really talked to a woman in so long…a woman that wasn't disgusted by who he was and what he did. Ignorantly (and coldly, although he hadn't noticed) he spit out, "Why are you talking to me?" He didn't mean to make it sound so full of pity. But, if she was a witch, shouldn't she have known what he had done? He was a Death Eater, he betrayed people to Voldemort….
"Okay, I guess that's my cue. Maybe I'll see you around some time…." And with that, she walked off into the crowd, leaving Severus alone and dreading what he had said.
What was his problem? He wasn't built for love and he knew it. He had pushed away another woman by his words. But, suddenly he felt something different….
He was sprinting down the walkway, passing men and women on both sides…. What was he doing? He was…chasing after her…. He couldn't believe himself, but yet, he couldn't bring his legs to stop moving…. He didn't even know this woman, and he clearly couldn't love her….
But then he was standing in front of her, and she stopped moving.
"Look, one person has trusted me in seventeen years…. You must have known I worked for the…for, for…Voldemort." The name just came out. He had never said his name before. But he could now…he was no longer scared. Voldemort was gone forever, and he couldn't ruin his life any longer.
"I saw how you would look at Lily. You loved her. I always wanted a guy to look at me like that…and James, of course you felt like pushing her away, and the torment of everyone…." She sighed. "I guess what I'm trying to say is…my sister was in the Order, and she knew Dumbledore. She knew he trusted you, but didn't know why. But, that was enough…what I'm trying to say is, I trust you, even though some might wonder why."
He thought he hadn't heard her correctly. Something else had to be coming, and there it was—
"That sounded stupid. What I really mean, is I'm willing to trust you enough until I get to know you. I can't explain it. I certainly don't know the whole story, and you don't need to tell me until you're ready. And of course…well…would you like to get some coffee tonight?"
He was hoping it was coming…but he also hoped she wouldn't say it. To see her would be making a commitment. And, he wasn't ready for that. Plus, guys were supposed to make the move, and now he felt like he couldn't handle anything.
"Sure." He answered after a few seconds.
"Great. How about you meet me at the corner of Main Street, Walthen Coffee House. 7:00?"
"I'll see you then."
"And Happy Halloween!" She added.
Was it really Halloween? He died back in June…and then he felt a chill: There was a cold fall breeze passing, telling him he was entering into November…And he turned, and as he did his mind began to work again. The last time he went on a date was seventh year: With Avery's old girlfriend.
"Hey Snape! I'll set you up with someone tomorrow?" bellowed Avery.
"Sure." He had said yes without meaning to. Avery's old girlfriend was a complete slut. But nonetheless, he had to think about another girl besides her…Lily.
So he went to Hogsmeade (sp?) with this girl he couldn't even remember the name of. She wasn't as smart as Lily. She wasn't as pretty as Lily. She never smiled, just smirked. She wasn't as nice as Lily, nor as caring. She kept trying to impress Severus. And her clothes showed far too much….
But yet, she was another girl, and he felt proud that he was with someone else, that a girl had put liking into him. And so he kissed her, and she liked it. He didn't know why he had. Her lips were soft, but they still didn't feel good against his. It just didn't seem… right.
He looked back at where she had been and watched her walk off, not looking back. Severus turned his head again and walked off, away.
And as he walked away, Rose turned her head as well, watching him walk off, smiling, although she didn't know why.
Looking for something I've never seen We're only taking turns If I say who I know it just goes to show We're only taking turns And then again maybe you don't When you're older you might understand
Alone and I'm in between
The place that I'm from and the place that I'm in
A city I never been
I found a friend or should I say a foe
Said there's just a few things you should know
We don't want you to see we come and we go
Here today, gone tomorrow
Holding this world
It's how it's always been
When you're older you will understand
You need me less than I need you
But take it from me we don't give sympathy
You can trust me trust nobody
But I said you and me we don't have honesty
The things we don't want to speak
I'll try to get out but I never will
This traffic is perfectly still
Holding this world
It's how it's always been
When you're older you will understand
And then again maybe you won't
When you're older you might understand
Song taken from the Fray (Trust Me) I changed it from Holida (Green Day) Trust Me fits perfectly!
R&R Should I keep going? As you should know, this will obviously be a love story between Severus and Rose, but also a story of how Severus is going to fix his life and grow from love.
