'Sup guys? Sorry for the wait, but here's the newest chapter of this wonderfully crazy story.
Just a quick thing about pairings, as a few people have asked me about who Naruto's going to end up with: he is stuck in a time loop. There is LITERALLY no way he can have a stable relationship – so far, at least. For now, it will just be flings with all the usual girls Naruto is paired with, and maybe even some guys as he's currently bi-sexual as hell. Yes, he does have some deep feelings for these girls as he's learnt a lot about them during his time in the loops, but at the same time he's unable to have a relationship. In the end, I might not do Naruto with any of the girls; I'm thinking a threesome of Team Seven, as they will be the closest in the entire series to Naruto.
Eh, I guess we'll see. But for now, enjoy!
(Forgot to do this last time)
Disclaimer: Don't own~!
Warning: Lots of blood and gore! Language, meltdowns and some sexual exploits. Actually, so many sexual moments and language your head will explode! (Not really, but please small kiddies, take caution).
Play.
"Hokage-sama! Hokage-sama!" a random chūnin who isn't important enough to get a name in this story squealed as he ran into the office of one Sarutobi Hiruzen, his eyes wide with shock and fear.
The wizened shinobi sighed between the unlit pipe in his lips as he continued to do paperwork. "What has Naruto done this time?"
"He—he—!" spluttered out the man. He struggled to get out the words tumbling around his mouth, but gave up once he realised that there was no way to explain the current situation at hand. Instead he rushed over to sling open the curtains that Hiruzen had chosen to cover up the windows that looked out over the village that day.
When Hiruzen didn't look up straight away, the chūnin made a strangled, high-pitched sound that instantly alerted Hiruzen to something was wrong – no ninja made such an embarrassing sound willingly.
Almost instantly he choked on his pipe, eyes bulging out almost comically at the sight he was met with behind the curtains.
Matabi, the two-tailed hellcat smiled wickedly at him, the thin sheet of glass the only thing separating its hungry mouth from Hiruzen. It yawned widely, showing off gleaming white fangs in its flickering maw to intimidate the insignificant shinobi right by the window into peeing his pants.
There was a deep rumble from past the Nibi, and Hiruzen rushed up from behind his desk to peer past the hellcat. He kind of wished the Nibi had moved further to the left to block the sight he had seen.
A large, red-furred monkey was sitting on its haunches near the outskirts of the village, its four tails sweeping idly behind it, causing small whirlwinds to sweep through the streets to knock over panicking civilians who were trying to run away. A large building was held in its hand, being overturned gently so that what could only be known as the Yonbi, Son Goku could inspect every corner of the structure.
From the base where the building had obviously once stood humans poured out, white masks covering their faces as they scattered away from the scaly tails that were being cautiously poked at them by the Sanbi, Isōbu.
One of the turtle's tails detached from its playful poking to swipe at the large fluttering form of the Nanabi, Chōmei as it dived it from above.
The insect-like Bijū seemed to snicker as it darted away from the appendage, but quickly stopped when a large glob of…something was shot at it by Saiken, the Rokubi.
Beside him, squatting on what used to be the Hyūga main branch house, Kokō the Gobi flicked the slug with one of its tails, clearly chiding the more powerful demon. The careful tap on the head quickly turned into a fight between the two Bijū that had them tearing up the surrounding area and dragging an all too willing Shukaku into the mix.
But what crowned the motley of masses of chakra with a consciousness's reign of chaos was the game of catch going on between Gyūki the Hachibi and what could only be the newly released Kyūbi. Ironically, the 'ball' was the head of Madara that had been snatched up from the Valley of the End, but it was quickly being crumbled by the force of the demons throws.
And darting through the streets, across the building that weren't demolished by the rampaging demons and even leaping onto the monstrous forms of chakra was hundreds of Narutos. Each one wore a cheeky grin across its whiskered face and was howling with laughter; several were being dropped from Chōmei's legs from where the Nanabi was flying up in the clouds, letting out great peals of laughter before being dashed against the ground to disappear in puffs of smoke. Others were playing what seemed to be poker on Kurama's back, clearly at ease in the forest of lustrous red fur.
"Oh my…" Hiruzen managed to choke out as he watched Shukaku catapult a few dozen of the kage bunshin from his paws to go splattering against the outside walls.
Just then, the Nibi who had hung about the window, watching the Hokage's changing emotions with much amusement leant down so that its head was just beneath the window.
The Naruto on its head took that moment to dismount, leaping off the cats head with a thank you as he landed on the roof sloping away from the window. He offered a wave to the hellcat who yowled in response before ambling off to relieve itself liberally on the Uchiha Estate where a certain duck-assed asshole was cowering in fear.
Internally laughing at Matabi's choice in activity, Naruto easily slid open the window and leapt into the Hokage office, his trademark grin firmly placed on his lips as he placed his hands on his hips. "Hey Oji-san! Like what I've done with the place?"
Sarutobi Hiruzen, the Professor and most wizened and experienced of the Kage, let out a choked sound before fainting dead away.
Rewind.
Play.
With a bored expression on his face, Kakashi dispelled yet another one of Naruto's kage bunshins after a rather foolish and sloppy attack. "Really, if you insist on creating so many of these things you should make sure that they are actually useful."
Another Naruto threw himself at the Copy-nin in response, and the jōnin let out an irritated sigh as he stabbed it lazily with a kunai. "You don't listen much, do you?"
"I listened when you told me that shinobi should never let someone get behind them."
Kakashi's lone eye widened and he attempted to spin around to face Naruto, who had somehow managed to sneak up on him. Unfortunately his body didn't respond, and so he couldn't so anything as Naruto laughed evilly and brought his hands together to stab forwards. "Thousand years of pain, assfucker!"
A yelp worked its way up Kakashi's throat as he was launched away by the force of the attack, and the man was helpless to do anything but tumble head-over-heels through the mockingly bright blue sky.
Back on the ground Naruto put a hand up to shade his eyes – letting the seal he had created to hold Kakashi immobile disappear as he did so – letting out a low whistle as he watched Kakashi disappear into a twinkle in the sky. "Damn, that's gotta be a new record. Using wind chakra really does make the difference; awesome."
When Kakashi finally shushined back into the clearing upon which he had been launched from, a distinct limp in his step, he was more than slightly pissed.
Of course, when he spotted a certain blond genin squatting in the dirt in front of a makeshift spit that was resting over the fire, his precious Icha Icha Paradise skewered on the stick and rotating gently over the fire…Well, pissed was not a word that could be applied to the level of fury and hate working its way through Kakashi's veins.
Sasuke and Sakura, still hidden in their respective spots that they had claimed at the start of the test, just in case that Kakashi hadn't really been beaten by Naruto of all people and wasn't just waiting to kick their asses when they relaxed, could only watch in shock (and envy in Sasuke's case) as lightning exploded into being around their prospective sensei's hand.
The silver-haired man didn't waste a second, darting forwards to stab at Naruto in the time it took the boy to actually look up from his cruel treatment of Kakashi's precious book. When his hand went through the blond's chest Kakashi instantly felt a wave of guilt flood through him; he had killed his sensei's son!
But, of course, that guilt quickly turned to irritation and hatred as Naruto burst into a puff of smoke, along with the spit and Icha Icha Paradise.
Then, to top things off, dozens of Naruto's burst into existence in the clearing, each one doing some cruel and inhumane to Kakashi's book – one was taking great joy in tearing off individual page and using it to wipe his ass, before crumpling it up and tossing it at the shell-shocked Kakashi.
So it was with great shock that Sasuke and Sakura watched their sensei demolish each and every kage bunshin that Naruto threw out, destroying much of the surrounding forest in the process – meaning that Sasuke and Sakura had to back up pretty quick when fire threatened to engulf them and lightning exploded the trees they were hiding in.
All the while, the original Naruto sat back with the true Icha Icha book, laughing and giggling to himself as he simultaneously read the smut and laughed at Kakashi's furious screams and the explosions that followed after. "This was a brilliant idea! I should listen to Shika for revenge plans more! He defeated that Hidan dude so quickly in revenge; Sasuke could learn a thing or two from him!"
The blond continued to cackle as his sensei tore up the training ground searching for him, having long since learnt how to erase his scent and hide his chakra. Having to run from the ANBU and what was now totalled up to every single person in the village was a brilliant motivator for such things.
Rewind.
Play.
"Art's an explosion!" yelled out Deidara as he caused the ground around Naruto to erupt and crumble around him.
That did nothing to deter the blond as he gave a wicked grin before putting the finger up at the Akatsuki member. "Your mum was an explosion last night, asshole!"
Rewind.
Play.
"Art's an explosion!" yelled out Deidara as he caused the ground around Naruto to erupt and crumble around him.
"That's not an explosion!" Naruto said pompously. "This is an explosion!"
All around the clearing they had engaged combat in, Naruto clones set off the several tonnes of explosive notes they had set up, causing almost a hundred square metres to go up in flames.
Including two pyromaniac blonds.
Rewind.
Play.
"Art's an explosion!" yelled out Deidara as he caused the ground around Naruto to erupt and crumble around him.
The genin barely noticed the life-threatening explosions around him as he sent a flirtatious wink up to the Akatsuki member currently overhead on one of his clay birds. "I can give you an explosion, if you want."
Four hours later Naruto found himself smugly staring up at a motel's ceiling, hands behind his head and Deidara's head on his muscular chest. The sleeping man's long, blond hair was currently wrapped around Naruto's finger as he grinned to himself. "That's a new way to neutralise the entire situation. Maybe I could try this again…"
"Oh, Naruto, not again," Sakura sighed to herself as she took in the sight that beheld her poor, tainted eyes. "I swear to sweet Kami, this better be the last one."
Completely unabashed at being spotted only wearing bed sheets wrapped around his waist and one absolutely naked Kisame and Hidan in his apartment, bickering over what to eat for breakfast, Naruto gave Sakura a mockingly sheepish grin. "I'll try my best, Sakura-chan!"
"This isn't trying, Naruto, damn it!" Sakura yelled at the blond shoving random shinobi aside as she marched through the battlefield that had just moments ago held the Aligned Shinobi Force and Madara's own army.
Naruto shrugged, barely bothering to look embarrassed as he petted Madara's Edo-tensei'd head where it was lovingly placed in his lap. Nor when he propped his feet up on Obito's almost prone body, the man having been downed minutes into the fight with the blond by several erotic techniques. "Hey, I fixed things, didn't I?"
"SEDUCING THE ENTIRE AKATSUKI INTO SUBMISSION AND A HAREM IS NOT 'FIXING THINGS'!"
Rewind.
Play.
"So…" Naruto drawled slowly as he peered curiously at Kakuzu, having been separated from the rest of the 'Revenge Squad' that had set out to kill the men who had murdered Asuma. "You'd do anything for money?"
Kakuzu narrowed his eyes at the genin, the thread-monsters attached to him pausing in their advancement. "For a certain amount, yes. But a mere brat like you could never offer the amount of money necessary to pull me away from the Akatsuki."
Naruto batted his blue eyes in reply, a smug smirk working its way across his mouth as he posed innocently. "What if I told you I was the Daimiyo of Wave Country and currently had dozens of heads of men and women from the Bingo book; including Sasori and Deidara, your ex-teammates."
Interest sparked in Kakuzu's mismatched eyes as he studied Naruto closely. "You're not lying. You really do have control over a prospering country."
"Yep!" Naruto replied cheerfully. "But, of course, it could be you who has complete control over a prospering country; free to do whatever you wished with its resources and to make however much money as you can."
"What's the catch?" Kakuzu demanded.
Buffering his nails against his jumpsuit, Naruto glanced at Kakuzu slyly from beneath his lashes. "You remove yourself from Akatsuki and ally yourself with Konoha."
The Akatsuki member thought over it for a moment before levelling his disconcerting gaze at Naruto. "Fifteen bounties in advance as well as the deed and contracts to Wave country."
"Twelve bounties and half the contract," Naruto shot back in response.
"Twenty, half the contract and half of your profits right now."
"Done."
The two shinobi shook on it, a massive grin covering Naruto's face as he joyfully bounced Kakuzu's arm up and down. "Dude, this will be so awesome."
When Naruto marched to war with the Shinobi Alliance against Madara this time around it was with the backing of the Wave country. Around a hundred shinobi had been added to their forces, all of them ex-missing-nins who had taken refuge in the island country and sworn themselves to the daimiyo, Kakuzu.
"I knew that our partnership was a great idea," Naruto said to the mentioned daimiyo as they readied their forces. "I mean, I get your military help as well as your intelligence, and you get as much riches as you can make and a whole army at your fingertips. You don't doubt your decision anymore, do you?"
Holding his urge to roll his eyes at the blond, having long since gotten used to his attitude, Kakuzu grunted in response. His arms were crossed as he watched the last preparations of war being made, some of his own shinobi darting by, but not after a quick salute to him.
Naruto grinned at every shinobi and kunoichi that went by, most of them knowing the famous hero with the Kybūi inside him, but reserved fist bumps to only a select few. Zabuza, Haku and Kisame were just three of the lucky few, all of them nodding respectfully to their daimiyo after greeting Naruto before hurrying onwards to continue whatever task they were doing.
"They grow up so fast…" Naruto sighed as he watched a nearly adult Haku go bounding over to where Suigetsu was standing and chatting with Utakata, the three friends all exchanging cheerful and harmless jibes.
"Tch," Kakuzu scoffed, "you are still young, brat; you can't use those words until they mean something."
The ex-Akatsuki member didn't catch how Naruto's smile turned sad and misty, lost in thought. "Yeah…Whatever you say, Kaku-kun."
"I told you not to call me that, you little tart!"
"You know you love me!"
"If we weren't at war I would chop your arm off again and beat you with it."
"Hey, you re-attached it last time, I'm sure you'll do it again, so I'm not worried."
"I'll attached it to the back of your head, kid, don't push me."
"Shit, you're serious. Okay, okay. Sorry."
"That's right, gaki. Now, let's hurry up finish this damn war; fucking thing is so expensive."
Rewind.
Play.
"I'm sure it'll work this time," a seventeen year old Naruto murmured to himself as he hefted a very familiar three-pronged kunai in hand. "I mean, I've had three repeats to figure this out; what's the worst that could happen?"
The blond-looper tossed his father's old kunai at a nearby tree, already flashing through handseals as it left his hand.
When the special kunai hit the tree with a thunk, Naruto disappeared in an orange flash, travelling at ridiculous speeds through time and pace to arrive…
In the middle of the all-female onsen in Konoha, holding not only his current girlfriend Hinata, but also Tenten, Sakura, Kurenai, Anko, Tsunade, Yugaō, Ino, and for some strange reason, Temari, who was on a diplomatic mission to Konoha for her Kazekage, Gaara.
Naruto managed to get out a surprised yelp before he crashed into the warm, steamy water, his father's old cloak dragging him down into the depths of the water with its weight.
It took him a few moments to swim to the surface, having to fight against his heavy clothing the whole way, but eventually he burst out of the water with a gasp, drawing air into his mouth greedily.
Of course, when he realised where he was and who was nearby, Naruto wished that his clothes had drowned him, so he would be able to start a new repeat. A life recognised as Minato's son be damned, he didn't want to get beaten to death!
Unsurprisingly, Naruto woke up the next day in his old bed back at his tiny apartment, on the day of his team selections, having been killed in the slowest most painful way yet; death by angry kunoichi fists.
Ugh, maybe this time around he could get on a team of just boys. Him, Chōji and Shikamaru; that sounded perfect.
He could see it now; Shikamaru could come up with the plan, Naruto could do all of the genius traps and ninjutsu while Chōji beat the shit out of anyone who survived. It would be awesome.
Rewind.
Play.
"And the final team is; Uzumaki Naruto, Yamanaka Ino and Hyūga Hinata."
"What?" Kiba howled out in response to Iruka's final announcement. "I'm stuck on a team with Bug boy and Uptight Uchiha, while Naruto gets two girls on his team? That dobe gets two babes? What the fuck is this injustice?"
"I'm surprised you know what injustice means," Naruto shot back smarmily from where he was leaning back on his chair at the back of the room beside Shikamaru. "Mutt."
Kiba let out a howl of anger and attempted to spin around to lunge at the blond. It was only Shino's bugs that held him down and Sasuke's thinly veiled insult from nearby that stopped him and directed his anger at the Uchiha. "What was that, asshole Uchiha?"
While Sakura was alright with her team of Shikamaru and Chōji – she had never had a problem with those two – but was slightly sad about not being on Sasuke's team, Ino was repeatedly slamming her head into the desk, muttering about 'stupid blonds.'
"Ino," a sing-song voice rang out, making said girl turn to glare at Naruto who was smiling cheekily at her. "You're a blonde as well, sweetheart."
"Don't talk to me like that!" Ino barked out, blue eyes sparking dangerously. "I swear to Kami, Naruto, if you push me I'll tear up that precious jumpsuit of yours."
"Oooh~!" Naruto crooned, leaning forwards on his desk to prop his chin up with his hands. "Only been on a team for a few minutes and you're already wanting to tear my clothes off; feisty. I like that."
A blush bloomed across Ino's face and she stammered in reply, unsure of how to deal with this radical change in the class dobe since the final exams. He was…confident, and somewhat – dare she say it – suave.
"Asshole," she managed to splutter out finally, shoving her chair back to send it clattering against Naruto's desk behind her. "I'm going to go and sit with Hinata; at least she's polite.
Naruto shrugged in a What can you do? way. "Go ahead."
Not bothering to give him an answer, Ino stormed off to go and sit on the other side of the classroom beside Hinata. Of course Hinata was still out cold after hearing the news that she was on her crush's team, so she wasn't much of a conversation, but Ino didn't care; she just wanted to be away from that insufferable idiot who could make her blush so easily. How dare he!
"Settle down you lot," Iruka said irritably as he tucked his clipboard of teams under his arm. "Your sensei will be here soon and you don't want to make a bad impression of them, hm? You are all shinobi here, and therefore responsible adults who—"
A shattering of glass interrupted the teacher and the children screamed as the windows leading to the grounds outside blew inwards.
A dark form came tumbling through the new entryway, flipping rapidly through the air before landing on the desk of a very scared kid with a thump of shinobi sandals. Brown eyes twinkled madly as they surveyed the scared humans splayed out before them, and a mad chuckle escaped twisted lips right before the newcomer flung their arms into the air fabulously. "Mitarashi Anko is here, bitches, and I'm coming for Team Seven's scrawny asses!"
There was dead silence as the collected children stared in no small amount of fear at the sexy, scandalously clad mad woman. For a moment, at least.
"AWESOME!" cheered Naruto as he leapt up and pumped his fists in the air. "My sensei's fucking the best kunoichi ever!"
"Heck yeah!" Anko grinned down at the little brat with his ridiculous get-up and his well-known sexy transformation that would make him a pinnacle in her seduction squad. "I'm also a pretty damn good kunoichi as well."
Rather than getting a blank face in reply, Anko was mildly shocked (and ridiculously pleased) to see Naruto snorting with laughter, having gotten her play on words.
"Oh," the purple-haired woman purred as she fingered a kunai hidden up one of her long sleeves, "I think I'll have fun with you."
She got a sly wink in reply, making her perverted, sadistic heart flutter excitedly in reply. Oh, what an adorable little fucker.
"Introduce yourself, brats, 'cause I want to know if your names are worth remembering." Anko said this as she dangled lazily in the fork of a tree in a training ground she had just lead her team to – after making them chase her around the entire length of the village – a dango stick wedged firmly in her teeth.
When no one offered to go first – Naruto too busy sending flirtatious winks at a fuming Ino as Hinata watched on with mixed emotions – Anko released a suffering sigh before tossing her skewer at her newly bought brats.
It landed in the dirt right by Naruto's crotch, but the blond barely seemed to notice it. The only indication he gave Anko was another foxy smirk that he seemed to dole out at almost every situation. Whether it was amusing to her or not.
"If you don't stop thinking with your downstairs brain and start using your upstairs," Anko said sweetly to her only male student, "you're going to lose both. Start talking or I'll start from the bottom and work my way up."
To the sound of Ino laughing and Hinata's mortified squeaks, Naruto began his introduction; all roguish smiles and wiggling eyebrows that let Anko know that this kid had talent for seduction – especially at his teammates reactions.
"My name's Uzumaki Naruto – not that you don't already know that." The boy said it with a suggestive smirk towards Ino and Hinata – making Hinata blush a vivid red and Ino scowl – and raised brows at Anko, letting her know that he'd seen her snooping around him in the past day. Clever boy.
"My likes are varied, and not to be spoken in such civilised company. My dislikes? Well, I could say numerous, frivolous things that leave you with not a single glimpse into my personality, but I'd like to say that I hate to be disappointed and leave it at that. As for hobbies…oooh, probably shouldn't say those either. But my dream is something I can definitely say; sneak, steal and be as sly as much as I fucking can."
"Is having copious amounts of sex included in that dream of yours?" Anko asked innocently.
"More like sucking," Ino muttered irritably, crossing her arms across her chest in a huff.
Putting his hand out in front of him, Naruto began to flick through imaginary pages, pretending that he was looking through some sort of notepad. He let out a sharp exclamation and jabbed at his palm. "It says here; a hell yes to both of these!"
Anko choked back laughter as Ino frowned at Naruto, the older woman not missing the implication of the Naruto's agreement to Ino's statement; seems like one of her kids swung both ways.
"Next," Anko managed to say without laughing, jabbing a finger at the shy Hyūga she had been saddled with. "You, cutie-patootie."
Blushing at the onslaught of attention she suddenly got from her team, Hinata began to stumble her way through her introduction, following the template laid out by her crush. "Um, m-my name is Hyūga Hinata. I like flowers and, um, cinnamon buns. I d-dislike prejudice and h-hatred; I just w-want people to get a-along. My hobby is, um, f-flower pressing. My dream is to mend the r-relationship within my c-clan and to become and b-better person."
"Aww," Ino sighed after Hinata finished speaking, wrapping an arm around the timid girl to give her a hug. "You're so sweet and innocent." She sent an ugly look at Naruto, who battered his eyes innocently back. "Unlike some people."
"I sense some hatred being traded around here like STD's between whores," said Anko. "Better wrap this up so I can give you guys some shots." She grinned wickedly at her pun, none of the brats getting it as they didn't realise that she had fuckloads of snakes up her sleeves ready to bite the crap out of them.
Well, Naruto knew from experience, but, hey, there was no way he was going to say anything about the fact that he was stuck in an endless repeat of his lifetime after the genin exams. 'Cause that's ridiculous, right?
"Last but maybe least," Anko said as she gestured towards Ino, who scowled in response before tossing her hair back over her shoulder.
"I'm Yamanaka Ino, not 'blondie,' or 'sweetheart,' or any other stupid name. I like flowers, just like Hinata, and learning my family techniques."
"As well as stalking a certain someone," Naruto said in a sing-song voice.
"I dislike a certain blond idiot, as well as those who look down on me since I'm a beautiful female."
'Vain as fuck,' Anko thought to herself, 'not necessarily bad though.'
Ino pursed her lips as Naruto made an odd expression at her before tossing her hair again and continuing. "My hobby is helping out at my family shop and buying new clothes. My dream is to become clan head and be a distinguished kunoichi."
"Well, that's fucking peachy," Anko said after a moments of silence. "You're all adorably unique individuals and I'm going to love tearing you to pieces and finding out why. However, I need to test you guys to see if you're even worth taking a look at."
"What do you mean?" Ino demanded before Hinata could start wording the question in a more polite way. "Why do you need to test us? How?"
"I need to see if you guys can actually become genin of Konoha," Anko replied easily. "As for how…Well, you need to stay up and moving for at least two hours; there's no boundaries, no jutsu off limit, and no rules." The woman's eyes took on a wicked look as she slowly and sensually slid from her perch. The sleeves of her coat flopped open, an ominous hissing coming from its depths.
At the sound, Naruto turned and ran, barely sparing enough time to grab Ino's and Hinata's hands as he went, ignoring Ino's screeches of protest the entire way into the nearby trees.
"Holy shit!" Anko exclaimed as she drop-kicked the doors into the Hokage's office open, startling a few prospective jōnin senseis inside. "My brats are better than all your fucking losers! All your little, rat-bastards will be my gakis underlings!"
"I'm guessing Team Seven has passed," Sarutobi said dryly as he disengaged from the conversation with his son. "Shall I write that down?"
Standing with her hands on her hips in front of her leader, Anko smiled proudly down at his seated form behind his desk. "You will write down that 'Mitarashi Anko's team will blaze glorious trails of destruction and chaos throughout the Elemental Nations, that's how cool they are.'"
"Duly noted," Sarutobi replied, just as wryly as before as he reached forwards and stamped an approval on Team Seven's paperwork. "Do I need to ask how the test went?"
"Not really," Anko said easily, even though there was many jōnin present as well as her leader, "but I'm still gonna tell you anyways. Seriously. The. Best. Team. EVER! That little spunky blonde girl you put on my team is a fucking sneaky little bitch! She came up with so many wicked traps I nearly cried from happiness – and lost a thumb while I was at it. She dragged my little Hyūga princess into a major taijutsu trap to kick my snakes asses, and it bloody worked! Then Uzumaki came swinging in. Ohhhh, what a brilliant addition he was. Sexy, sneaky and sly as hell, he pulled some harem technique on me and managed to drag the girls into doing it as well! Hell if I know how they managed to learn it so quickly, but it was effective."
Sarutobi absently handed her a tissue box as he finished signing off her team's registration, the woman taking it gratefully to wipe the globs of blood that were sneaking out of her nostrils.
Once Anko discarded the soaked tissues, she slammed her hands on Sarutobi's desk, ignoring the shocked gasps from the other occupants of the room. "You gotta let me mould them into a seduction squad right away! They were born for it, old man! You gotta trust me on this! Both Ino and Naruto have got massive skills for it, and I know I can change Hinata to a perfect little, innocent sex-puppet."
"Anko!" Kurenai inputted, sounding scandalised. "I've known Hinata from a young age and I hardly think that—"
"I'm her sensei now," Anko said, voice suddenly hard, "and so I don't need any other teacher's inputting their opinions; especially when they don't have a team of their own." The woman's face softened slightly at Kurenai's downed expression, and sighed lightly. "Sorry, Nai-chan, it's just that these kids are my responsibility, and I know what's best for them. You can trust me with their lives."
When Kurenai nodded back, Anko gave her a small smile. That smile then turned terrifying as she glared around at the surrounding shinobi, many cowering back from her burning gaze. "If any of you fuckers repeat what I've said here, you'll find yourself ending up exactly like Kuna. Get it?"
With one last sweep of her gaze, Anko bounced out of a window, her middle finger raised back towards the room. "Anko out, bitches."
In the silence of the room that followed, a hesitant jōnin turned to his comrade beside him. "How did Kuna end up exactly?"
"That's the thing," the other man said in reply, his eyes haunted. "He didn't end up anywhere."
Hinata loved and mildly disliked her team and training.
On one hand, she was with her crush – cue sigh, blush and faint – and a girl with enough confidence to lend it to her. Both helped and encouraged her in their own ways, and Hinata was so grateful for it; she didn't know what she would do without them.
Yes, Naruto did have his moments where he would come to training as a girl and act exactly like one for long periods of time – according to her byakugan, she was a female during those times – and flirted with every person that went by – including one extremely traumatised cousin Neji – but Hinata could easily see past these odd quirks to the kind person he was at heart. He may bicker with Ino a lot, but anyone could see that he never meant his words – either than the words of flirtation – and Hinata was happy that her teammates could get along.
The same was for Ino. Even though she came across as bossy, loud and vain, Ino was more compassionate and understanding than most people Hinata had ever met. Whenever Hinata fell – whether it was from exhaustion or from self-doubts – Ino was instantly by her side, yelling words of encouragement and confidence. She was a beautiful girl and she knew it, but she was a beautiful girl who had more than enough time for Hinata.
As for her sensei…Well, at the beginning Hinata hadn't been so sure about her sensei. She was clearly unstable, had a fetish for blood and snakes, and had a weird obsession with smothering Ino, Naruto and Hinata included into her rather large breasts – not that Naruto seemed to mind. But even though Anko occasionally scared Hinata half to death, she was the one who believed in Hinata enough to accept her as part of her squad and to train her up. Hinata felt surer in her abilities, thanks to the adjustments and additions she had made to her Jyūken stance. Anko was a Kami-send, and Hinata would hold her dear, just like she would with her teammates.
"Okay. Gakis, listen up." Anko stared down at her little genin who were currently all doing the splits in front of her, holding weights over their heads to strengthen their core. And gasping and sweating as they did so. "I know how you've heard about some of the other genin your age are entering the Chūnin Exams – shut up Ino!"
The blonde mentioned shut her mouth with a click, swallowing the words about the unfairness of Billboard brow getting to go in the exams and not her.
"Anyways," Anko continued smoothly, "I'm here to official announce that we're not entering! Hurrah!"
At her brats clearly unamused looks – damn were they rubbing badly on her Hyūga Hime – Anko gave them a quick grin before continuing, gesturing to drop their weights but not their splits to listen. "Instead, from here on out we begin our training in becoming a seduction squad!"
At that proclamation, both Naruto and Ino broke out into cheers of excitement as Hinata ducked her head unsurely.
"I know you may be doubting my decision," Anko said casually, "but I know that you'll all be perfect little sexy bitches; trust me."
At her words, Hinata picked her head back up slightly, a small smile curling her shiny lips. And that just warmed Anko's little shrivelled heart. But don't you fucking dare to tell anyone! Or you'll end up just like Kuna, hm!
"Here's how it's going to go down," Anko continued, rubbing her hands in excitement. "You," she pointed sharply at Naruto, who perked up with shining blue eyes. "You're going to be our hands-on, dirty bitch. You're going to seduce whoever the hell you think is necessary for our mission; be it in the form of a male or female."
Naruto took on the form of his female counterpart and saluted with dainty hands.
"You'll also be our front-liner when it comes to combat situations," Anko offered at the end before moving onto Ino.
"You're going to be our whispering wicked witch. You'll be getting all the intel of the group by flashin' those sexy legs of yours, using poison from your knowledge of plants and whispering words in people's ears. And I mean people; you're all going to have to learn to swing both ways, or ignore the fact that you don't swing towards sexy girls like me."
"Not a problem," Ino said without thinking before flushing alongside Hinata, who had mumbled something of assent as well.
"Brilliant!" Anko said happily. "Now we're all swinging pendulums ticking down the time it takes before we snag ourselves a juicy piece of meat, or fine kitty cats. Or, you know, you could be making yourselves some sandwiches if you have enough ingredients."
The flames of mortifications burned brighter in Hinata's and Ino's cheeks at the implication of three-ways or maybe even more, only fuelling Naruto's laughter beside them.
"As for you," Anko said to Hinata when they'd all calmed down, "you're going to be my simpering school girl; innocent and trustable. You're going to pretend to be naïve as you dig up people's secrets. 'Accidently' flash some cleavage here and there. Be a 'klutz' and trip over to reveal some naughty lingerie under your cute little dress. Maybe even get yourself snagged on a nail and get your shirt torn off. Either way, you're going to be our little angel who's really a mastermind and stealing everyone's secrets."
Hinata was slightly hesitant about her role in general, but she couldn't let her team down! "Right, sensei!"
Anko grinned at her. "That's my girl."
As Sasuke dashed through the outskirts of Konoha's forest, heading straight for the Valley of the End, the last thing he expected to see was three young girls his age lounging around by the waterfall in the valley.
There was a dark-haired girl he vaguely remembered from the Academy, short hair braided back with lots of shiny pins and gems that glinted in the moonlight as she stood serenely with her arms clasped in front of her. She had pale and clearly pretty features, pearl eyes only accentuating the creamy dress she wore; a decent length of to the knees and wrist-length sleeves, but cut in a way that hinted at a certain amount of wickedness with her rolling curves and bust.
A platinum blonde whose name eluded him stood beside the first beauty, hip cocked to the side with obvious spunk as she tossed her long ponytail back. Deep blue eyes fringed by ridiculously long eyelashes stared at him, trying their best to draw his attention away from the midriff purple vest and matching leather miniskirt that showed off toned muscles and never ending legs that ended in pumps with heels so sharp and fine it could probably slit a man's throat.
Another blonde bounced beside her, golden pigtails and large bust moving in a rhythmic fashion. Pouty lips and sparkling cerulean eyes popped out at Sasuke, setting off the dusky oranges she wore in the form of small scraps of clothing that barely hid her modesty and made you want to ask for more. It was only the thin lines arcing across her cheeks that brought the spark of recognition to Sasuke's mind, and he stared dubiously at the beauty before him. "…Dobe?"
"Oh!" the golden-haired girl said in a breathy voice. "You remember me, Sasuke-kun! I didn't think you would…"
"What with the make over and all," the blonde beside her drawled. "No one's seen us in months, Naru-chan, what'd you expect? Him to instantly recognise you?"
"Ino?" Sasuke said, now slightly freaked out by the transformation of one of his worst fangirls into this mature, sexy girl on the cusp of womanhood.
Said girl winked at him in reply. "The one and only. And right beside me is the ever lovely Hinata – of course you wouldn't recognise this bombshell, would you?"
Sasuke gaped at the refined glamour of the dark-haired girl who smiled pearly teeth at him in response. "Hello, Sasuke-san. It's a pleasure to see you again."
Swallowing the questions of 'When?' and 'How the fuck?' Sasuke stared steadily at Ino, the lesser of two shocks. "What are you three doing here?"
"We were walking through the neighbourhood and decided to stop by," the disturbingly female Naruto said in reply, eyes still insisting on twinkling. "And stop you along the way."
"As if someone like you," Sasuke snorted, "the class dobe, could ever stop someone like me—"
Faster than his eyes could track, Naruto was in his face and in his mouth. Her tongue was warm as it swirled around his mouth, exploring every nook and cranny that it could as her hands did the same to his rigid body. Before Sasuke could even think about getting away, Naruto began to hit certain points of his body to invoke sexual reactions as she continued to give him the Kiss of Surrender.
Not too long after, Sasuke's body went limp in her arms as he passed out due to hormonal overload. He just wasn't used to these reactions, and his immunity was low to actual seduction attempts by professionals, rather than pre-pubescent, idiotic fangirls.
"Well that was disappointing," Ino remarked as she stared at the boy on the ground, body still quivering and an erection fully out. "He didn't even last a minute."
"Don't be so harsh on him, Ino-chan," Hinata said quietly, her voice not hitching and stopping like it once used to. "You forget what training we've gone through to be immune to these things and how none of our colleagues have had the same thing done to them."
"Yeah," sighed Ino, "I guess you're right, Hina-chan. Let's just hurry up and get this idiot home; I'm tired."
"Not too tired for some training tonight, I hope?" a now male Naruto asked as he wandered up to fling Sasuke's body over his shoulder. "'Cause I learnt some new techniques that I'd like to use on some sparring partners."
Hinata and Ino's giggles and jibes back were all the answer Naruto needed, and the trio hurried back to Konoha to dump their unwelcome load so that they could begin some training as soon as possible back at Naruto's place. Maybe even their sensei would drop by and give them some…pointers.
Rewind.
Play.
"I will kill you," hissed out Gaara, his eyes rolling madly as he glared at Naruto from across the gap in their tree branches. The boy was half-transformed into his Bijū form and was more than over the edge; not like Naruto hadn't seen this thousands of times before. He was just glad that they were well away from the arena and Konoha in general after the last repeat. Ugh, bad memories were coming up; the whips…
"I will kill you slowly," the red-haired boy continued on, barely seeming to notice Naruto's irritated form opposite him as he waited for the stupid, usual monologue to end. "I will end your existence!"
"Not if I do it first!" came the angry shout from behind Gaara, just managing to reach his ears before a Naruto kage bunshin shoved a rasengan right through his head to splatter his brains across the leaf foliage around him.
The real Naruto's mouth twisted in distaste as some Gaara-gore got on his old jumpsuit. "Well, I was going to change my outfit soon anyways; what was I thinking all those repeats ago? Orange is cool, but ninja-like? Hardly."
"Talking to yourself is the first sign of madness~!" the kage bunshin that had killed Gaara sung out as it cleaned its hands with a nifty sūiton jutsu.
Naruto kneaded at his brow, trying to get his anger under control for a moment. He then decided, fuck it, and turned on the kage bunshin in a fury. "Why is it so hard for you lot to get it through your thick heads that you're me, damn it!"
"Whoa," the kage bunshin said, raising its hands up in the universal sign of surrender. "Is someone PMSing or what? What's up in your grill today, Boss?"
A groan worked its way up Naruto's throat and he tossed his hands up into the air in defeat before slumping into a sitting position on the branch he was on, unconsciously using his chakra to stay there due to hundreds of repeats of chakra control training. "I don't know! It's just that…Well, I…I'm sick of this fucking time loop! I'm tired of Sasuke and Sakura being an ass to me and Kakashi barely caring about me. I'm tired of making sure that Konoha's saved, only to go right back to being the 'demon brat' anyways. I'm drained of trying to convince Sasuke to stay, only having to end up knocking him out in order for him to stay – which ends him up under ANBU supervision and hating me – or having to kill him! I'M FUCKING EXHAUSTED OF NOT DYING!"
The forest echoed with silence after Naruto's last shout, only the distant sounds of fighting from Konoha proving that there was any other life in the world beside Naruto – although it felt like no one else was every really living in the world anymore, not to Naruto at least.
"Uh," the kage bunshin said intelligently, "I guess now would be a really bad time to tell you that you should eat a Snickers, huh?"
He was dispelled in record speeds by a kunai, courtesy of a pissed off Naruto.
"Fucking dickwad," the blond cursed, still feeling the anger and bitterness coursing through him.
He had tried so hard to remain optimistic about the whole 'repeating life over and over every time you died' situation, but after what must've been years of going through the same storyline, with no one beside him to laugh at the pranks or to cry over the deaths that no one else understood or knew about, Naruto was tired.
He just wanted it all to end.
"I guess this is what Hell is like," Naruto muttered to no one, lying back along the thick tree branch, amongst flecks of Gaara to look up into the canopy of leaves above. "No way to leave and you're being tortured at every turn; fun."
Just then, the distinct sounds of sandals hitting wood reached Naruto's trained ears.
"Oh for fuck's sake," he managed to mutter before an enraged Temari and Kankurō came bursting into the scene. But they stopped abruptly at the sight of the blood and brains dripping down the trunks of trees in the clearing Naruto was in. And they downright paled when they spotted Gaara's very much headless body tangled in a thicket of branches a few levels down.
"Kami…" Temari whispered, her blue eyes beginning to water at the sight of her little brother's body. "How could..How…"
"How could you do this?" Kankurō finished for his sister, dark eyes glowering at Naruto. "Why?"
Reaching for the words that normally came so easily to him – years of lying, and lying and tricking and deceiving – Naruto found himself choking, unable to find just what to say. He swallowed roughly, the haze of anger and despair that had hovered over him all this repeat clearing away to reveal only guild and self-loathing.
"I promised not to..." he whispered, feeling frustrated tears pressing against the back of his eyes. "I swore at the start of this thing not to lose myself to darkness, to never turn my back on my precious people, even when they didn't realise just how precious they were to me. But—"
The appearance of a panting Sakura and Sasuke halted what Naruto was going to say next, and the blond couldn't help but look at them and feel a wave of anger and sadness mixed with frustration wash over him. These were once his beloved teammates; the ones he would die for willingly at the drop of a hat. Now…Now they were merely props that moved and reacted accordingly to whatever he said. They were flat, two-dimensional, and the distance between him and them had never felt greater when they both blanched at seeing the bloody scene, their young and naïve faces fluttering with different emotions – emotions that Naruto felt slipping away from him every day.
"Naruto," Sakura gasped out, "how could you do something like this?"
"You would too," the blond replied sadly, not bothering to look at the girl and instead turning to look at the setting sun peaking between the leaves of the surrounding trees. "You would too if your life was one, endless and blurred mess; always repeating, stuck on a loop, and never moving forwards, no matter how many years pass and how much you try to change it."
"What the hell are you talking about, dobe?" demanded Sasuke, more than a little freaked out at the very Itachi-like way that Naruto was acting. He was tense, in case the blond decided now was a good time to slaughter off anyone in the vicinity.
The genin shrugged in answer, still looking away from where Temari and Kankurō were hesitantly creeping down the trees to collect their little brother's body. "I've tried explaining to you two before; it's never worked so why should it now?"
Sasuke and Sakura shared a confused and worried look – well, as much worry and confusion as Sasuke could show in a frown – before shuffling their way along their branch to get closer to Naruto. They both stood by him for a moment, unsure of what to do.
It was Sakura who took the initiative for once, boldly dropping down to sit beside Naruto, pulling her knees in close to wrap her arms around them. She joined the blond in staring out at the setting sun, quiet in her thoughts and presence.
The Uchiha nearby only stood for a moment longer before settling himself further down the branch from Naruto, but still close enough to hear any words spoken between the broken team.
There was a deafening silence for a minute or two, only broken by Temari's muffled sobs and the snap of branched as they removed Gaara's body from the wooden grasp of the tree he was stuck in. Neither of the siblings uttered another word before darting off, not wanting to get on the wrong side of the blond who could so easily kill their brother.
Ignoring the departure of the Suna-nin, Sakura took the lead again, showing the brave side in her that rarely came out. "I'm sorry, Naruto, but I don't remember the conversation we had in which you explained what was happening."
"Of course not," Naruto replied almost instantly, bitterness tainting his voice an ugly colour. "It was several years ago, back when I was foolish enough to think that everything would end up alright."
"Back when we were Academy kids?" Sakura asked mildly, keeping her voice calm and soothing, like she was talking to a wild beast. "I don't remember too much from back then, Naruto, so you'll have to refresh it for me. And Sasuke-kun as well, I'm guessing."
The boy mentioned grunted in agreement, hands propped up under his chin as he waited for darkness to fall; whether it was night first didn't really matter.
Naruto heaved a sigh before responding. "No, Sakura, it wasn't from the Academy days. I think the last time I tried to explain what was happening to you guys was a few years ago; we were in the Forest of Death, just after I had defeated that Zaku dude. I remember it so vividly because it was one of the few times I stopped Orochi-teme from giving Sasuke another nasty hickey seal."
"I…" Sakura trailed off, struggling to communicate her tumbling thoughts clearly. "I don't understand; we were in that forest a few days ago, not years ago. And you never did defeat Zaku, Lee did when you left to go get us another scroll."
"And I've only been bitten by Orochimaru once," Sasuke muttered, brow pinched in thought.
A sharp laugh escaped Naruto's lips, making Sakura flinch back slightly. "Maybe in this repeat that stuff's happened, but there's been several time when I've beaten Zaku – even killed him and his teammates – and you've been bitten by Orochi-teme more times than I can count, Sasuke. It's just that you don't remember it, no one remembers it because it's all rewound back to the day we graduate; every time I die I repeat my life from there. It's a never-ending cycle of death."
"Don't be ridiculous, dobe," Sasuke said bluntly. "Such things don't exist; you've gone mad."
"Is it ridiculous that I know the truth about your family's massacre?" Naruto asked softly, his demeanour contrasting greatly against the surprise and anger blooming across Sasuke's visage. "Or that I know that you and Itachi aren't the last Uchiha alive, nor will you ever be."
Sasuke exhaled harshly, eyes flickering dangerously. "You better explain whatever the hell it is that you're talking about right now, dobe, or I swear—"
"What?" Naruto asked mildly, not at all deterred by Sasuke's fury. "You'll kill me? Go ahead; this repeat's busted anyways. I was planning on practicing my sealing on Gaara, but I guess I got too angry to do it. Shame, I had put so much research towards figuring out the flaws of his seal in the last loop. I guess I can try it again next time anyways; I've got all the time in the world to do whatever the hell I want."
"You're in a time loop," Sakura spoke up softly. It wasn't a question, it was stated with absolute certainness. "That explains all the lingo you've been using recently, as well as the change in attitude and the sudden rise in strength."
Naruto finally broke the calm façade he had on and the gaze he'd been directing at the sun to look at Sakura with surprise etched into his youthful face. Then he softened, a shockingly tender look replacing the lines in his brow and mellowing his aged eyes. "You were always the smartest kunoichi I ever knew."
A blush worked her away across Sakura's face and she ducked her head shyly, her short bangs barely covering her face. "It wasn't really that hard; I'd already been looking into why you were acting so strangely and with the information you just gave us it wasn't so hard to figure it out."
"Stop," Sasuke cut in bluntly, anger still lingering in his face. "I'm not going to believe anything until dobe explains just what the hell eh meant about my family." The dark-haired boy directed a glower at Naruto, whose face twisted slightly in remembrance.
"The last and only time I told you about the truth about your family so bluntly ended with you skewering me with a chidori before burning me alive before I could heal."
Ignoring Sakura's shocked gasp and Sasuke's brief blanch, Naruto continued on to reveal the horror of the Uchiha massacre and what really went on behind the scenes.
"Basically, after the unrest of the Uchiha's lack of participation in the battle against the Kyūbi, and the knowledge of only the sharingan being able to control a Bijū's mind made the village begin to turn against the Uchiha. They suspected Uchiha of foul play, and that made the clan bitter. They began to grow angry over how they had been cheated by the village over and over; Hashirama chosen over Madara to lead the village, Tobirama placing them well away from the rest of the village to keep an eye on them. These things began to build up, and it was only when Sarutobi was returned to the seat of Hokage over a new, fresh and strong shinobi – namely an Uchiha like your father, Fugaku – did they do something about it."
"What?" Sasuke asked desperately, his eyes hungry for more knowledge. "What did they do?"
Naruto took a deep breath before turning to look Sasuke in the eyes, his jaded cerulean ones boring into black. "They planned a coup."
A choking sound came from Sasuke, audible in the depth of the surrounding forest and even over Sakura's muffled scream of surprise.
At seeing the boy's panic, Naruto was quick to lunge forwards to hold him down, apologies written in his eyes. "Wait, Sasuke! There's more! They were pushed towards this idea by several bad people. Namely, Danzō. He pushed the Uchiha into trying to take over Konoha, but he secretly had other plans."
When Sasuke began to calm down, Naruto carefully let go of him to continue the dark and twisted tale of what really happened in the Uchiha massacre. He explained both Danzō's and Obito's – who was a medium for Madara's hate – plans for the death of the Uchiha, and how Sarutobi had tried his best to prevent it. It was only when Naruto reached Itachi's true part in the story did Sasuke show another emotion besides the anger at the manipulation of his clan: horror.
It had taken both Naruto and Sakura holding the boy down to get him to listen, but when they felt Sasuke slump in their grasp they both tentatively let go.
They were met with the sight of Sasuke curled up on the still gore-splattered branch, tears pouring out of his eyes and a scream making its way out of his throat. When it finally clawed its way out, Naruto and Sakura were quick to pick up the boy and hold him between them, hoping that their strength could somehow be given to the body through the contact.
Sakura and Naruto watched the sun finish setting and the stars begin to come out before the last of Sasuke's sobs were rasped out, leaving the boy slumped in their arms; broken and hollow.
Over the top of Sasuke's head, Naruto made eye contact with Sakura and offered her a brittle smile, his eyes dark in the depths of the night. It was right then that any of the last doubts about this whole situation left Sakura's mind, and she was left with a sour taste in her mouth. Both of her teammates had suffered so much; Sasuke from his clan and the lies surrounding it, and Naruto from going through the endless motion of waking up and dying, unsure of when the whole thing would end. And she? She had no sob story, no endless pain to carry on her shoulders. She was a mere civilian playing ninja, and that realisation hurt.
'Even after I'd thought that I was getting stronger,' Sakura thought to herself as she helped Naruto cradle Sasuke, 'I am nothing compared to what's out there. If Naruto struggles to defeat opponents, then I would be crushed by them; I'm so weak. But…' The pink-haired girl gazed at her teammates, both weighed down by their past and dark knowledge. 'If I can take at least a little bit of the burden from these two, maybe then I'll be a little bit useful.'
Sakura kept these thoughts to herself and didn't utter a single word during the hour she spent huddled up with her teammates, dirty and tired as they watched darkness slowly engulf the world.
It was only when a patrol of exhausted ANBU came bounding through the forest, on a search to find them did they move.
And they moved together; Sakura and Naruto either side of Sasuke to support him, but Sakura's hands fisted in the back of his jumpsuit let Naruto know that she was supporting him as well, and that thought helped him through yet another announcement that his grandfatherly figure, Sarutobi Hiruzen was dead.
At the funeral, when Naruto's eyes were still completely dry from the years spent crying over this one scene, Sakura cried for him. She used up all her tears, weeping for all the times that Naruto couldn't. Next to her, Sasuke got angry at the injustice of it all, just for Naruto who never really could.
And that made all the difference to Naruto, who could smile for the first time ever right after the funeral.
The change felt nice.
"I can't take all three of you with me," Jiraiya said snappily.
"And why not?" Naruto asked calmly in reply. His arms were folded in front of him, stubbornness emitting from his every pore. "We are a team, and as such, we should go on missions together."
From beside him Sakura spoke up hesitantly, but her jade eyes were steady as she locked gazes with Jiraiya. "I'm sorry, Jiraiya-sama, but you have not officially taken Naruto as your apprentice and, as such, you cannot take him out on a mission alone with the approval of the Hokage. Since there's…no Hokage at the current time, you are unable to take Naruto out of the village without his team, even if you are a Sannin."
At her words Jiraiya stopped his protests and adopted a thinking face, his hands stroking at his chin. "Well…"
"You either take us willingly or we follow you," Sasuke said bluntly, unamused by how long the whole situation was taking.
"It's true," nodded Naruto. "We promise not to be annoying and demand things from you; we'll train together and be as quiet as possible."
Jiraiya cast a dubious look at the blond before scanning Sakura and Sasuke's faces. Apparently whatever it was that he was looking for was there as he gave a quick laugh before pivoting on his foot and walking away. "Alright, kids; you're in! Meet me at the eastern gates in an hour; don't be late, and bring your gear as we'll be out of the village for an unknown amount of time."
With that, the man shushined away, leaving only a puff of smoking and some swirling leaves.
A quick scan of the immediate surroundings to make sure Jiraiya wasn't lingering executed by Naruto left the team more relaxed and grinning.
"I can't believe we're going to be on a team with the Jiraiya!" squealed Sakura happily, dancing in front of her two teammates as they headed towards the eastern gate, having already packed their bags in advance. "This is so amazing!"
Naruto chuckled, happy to see such excitement in the girl. "Yeah, well, don't get your hopes up, Sakura; he's nothing more than a pervert and a slacker on this trip."
"But you have seen him fight to the best of his abilities, right?" asked Sasuke, hands in his pockets as he leisurely walked beside Naruto.
It had taken some time for the Uchiha to swallow the fact that Naruto was much older and much more powerful than he was, but after some talking to from the both of his teammates and an assurance from Naruto that he would teach him as much as he could appeased the boy some. And after a few days of rest after the whole invasion by Suna and Oto beside them, Sasuke had gotten more comfortable with Sakura and Naruto's presence.
While initially Sakura had still acted very much like her usual airheaded, fangirling self, Naruto had taken her aside as soon as he could to talk to her about things that Sasuke couldn't quite make out. When they returned, Sakura was looking a little bit pale, but her attitude had begun to resemble the one that she had in the forest when he…broke down; calm, collected and strong. It was a sudden and surprising change, but a rather pleasant one since Sasuke now wasn't getting harassed by Sakura for dates and whatnot.
Of course there was some time when Sakura would revert back to her baby voice and batter her eyelashes at him, but after a couple of words from Naruto she would sober up once more. By now, she was almost a normal human being, albeit one with a rather prominent mood swing and apparently a mental disorder.
Yes, hearing Sakura confess about her 'Inner' had left Sasuke a bit freaked out, but judging by Naruto's casual expression he already knew; of course he did.
As for Sasuke…Well, after hearing the truth about his family Sasuke had wanted to go into a blind rage and murder all of those responsible for the coup. Except after a couple of tales of repeats from Naruto where he had been told about the truth and gone into a blind rage left him feeling slightly nauseous – especially the one where he killed his brother before learning about the truth from him and attempted to destroy Konoha beside one of the men responsible.
Kami, he was such an idiot sometimes, wasn't he?
"Sasuke! Elemental Nations to Sasuke, are you there?"
Smacking Naruto's prodding hand from his face, Sasuke gave the cheekily grinning blond a glare as he came out of his thoughts to the reality of the eastern gate. "Not funny, dobe."
Sakura rolled her eyes at the boys as they began to bicker, plopping herself down on a nearby bench to wait out the usual spat between them. "Boys…when will they ever learn?"
"Wow, Ero-sennin, this is so easy!"
Jiraiya could only stare, dumbfounded, at the sight of Naruto forming a perfect rasengan after breezing through the steps to learn it. "H-How? What?"
Nearby, still inside the clearing off the side of the road they had paused at to get some training done, Sakura hid a snicker as she continued doing pull-ups on a tree branch to strengthen her arms. Even Sasuke was hard pressed to hide a smile as he played around with his ninja wire, attempting to do a more complicated web to trap his enemies. He would've preferred to learn a new jutsu, but after seeing what Jiraiya could do with the stuff, he wanted to master this particular tool.
"I guess I'm just that awesome," boasted Naruto as he formed a rasengan in his left hand to go with the one spinning lazily in his right. "Or maybe it's just that this jutsu is too easy." The blond waggled his eyebrows at Jiraiya before turning around to shout at the Uchiha nearby. "Hey, Sasuke!"
"What?" the boy yelled back irritably, Naruto's shout having startled him into failing to do a certain loop in one of the tricks. "I'm busy, dobe."
"Too busy to learn how to do the rasengan~?" Naruto said in a sing-song voice, his grin only getting wider when Sasuke's head snapped up and the boy hurried over.
"Show me," Sasuke demanded, watching the rasengans in Naruto's hands hungrily.
When the boy glanced up to see a chiding expression on Naruto's face, he snorted softly. "Okay, please."
"Better," Naruto said with a nod, letting the rasengans dispel so he could grab one of the water balloons from the pile ready made for this training by Jiraiya. "Basically, you have to start with—"
"Woah, woah, woah!" Jiraiya cut across, finally having pulled himself out of his wondrous stupor at realising just how strong his godson was. He had seen the boy rathe easily learn how to summon toads, but he put it off as a fluke and his ridiculous chakra levels. This was something entirely different – a jutsu created by his freaking protégé the Yondaime! - and it had taken him a moment to shake himself free from the shock at seeing someone breeze through the technique that had taken three years to create.
"Do you think that you can just go and show whoever the hell you want this technique?" Jiraiya demanded Naruto, a frown pulling at his brow.
Naruto stared at him like he was stupid – which he wasn't. "Well, you taught me this technique and I'm not your apprentice that means you have no hold over who I teach this technique to. And I trust my teammate with this technique, so I'm going to teach it to him."
"Well, what about your other teammate?" Jiraiya asked almost desperately. "What about her; doesn't she want to learn it?"
"Don't have enough chakra for it yet!" Sakura called out to the man from where she had begun to do push ups. "Not interested in it until I'm strong enough."
"See?' Naruto said to Jiraiya, one of his eyebrows raised almost mockingly. "Sakura's fine with it. And if it makes you feel any better about the unfairness of it all, Sasuke has to teach me the chidori." Naruto turned to Sasuke with a smile, his eyes trained on Sasuke's dark ones. "Right?"
Sasuke narrowed his eyes at Naruto, an unspoken statement going through the two of their meeting eyes – wouldn't you already know the chidori by now, dobe? Or have you been too stupid to learn how to do it on your own?
Initially scowling at the words read in Sasuke's face, Naruto slung his arms behind the back of his head and gave a nervous laugh. "I know the handsigns already, I just don't know how to maniupate my chakra properly."
Sasuke's eyes narrowed further, making Naruto smile uneasily before he gave a curt nod. "Teach me the rasengan first and we're good."
"Deal!" shouted Naruto, sealing it with a handshake before dragging Sasuke and the supplies necessary to learn the rasengan further into the clearing and away from Sakura so that she wouldn't get injured by any flying balloons. It wouldn't take long for Sasuke to learn the rasengan as the chidori was a shape-manipulation based jutsu like the rasengan, and Naruto was easily more forthcoming with information and tips than Jiraiya to help the boy along; then he'd be learning the chidori!
Jiraiya stared after them for a moment, dumbfounded, before turning to a giggling Sakura who was now hefting rocks over her head. "Is he always like this?"
"Who?' Sakura asked with a laugh. "Naruto or Sasuke?"
"Both are just troublesome."
"You have no idea, Jiraiya-sama. No idea at all."
Naruto had made sure to explain to both Sakura and Sasuke how and when Itachi and Kisame would arrive, and why they were after him. He was surprised at how easily they took the knowledge of him holding the Kyūbi in his gut – he'd seen it turn badly in a hundred different ways at least – but even more so at how the two instantly began to devise a plan; both on keeping Naruto free and making Itachi come back to the village.
The plan was for Naruto and Sakura to keep Kisame busy while Sasuke tried to talk to Itachi – but of course since it was the fucking unlucky Team Seven, it went wrong almost instantly.
Kisame wasn't interested in talking and Sakura was completely unaware of how powerful the man really was – stories weren't enough to really get the picture of just how vicious and strong an S-class criminal was. She folded under his sword, crumpling over the edges for a moment, her jade eyes wide with shock right before she was shredded to pieces in front of Naruto's eyes.
The blond had no time to react to the blood and bits of his teammate splattering across his face as Kisame came in swinging again, his harsh laughter ringing throughout the corridor of the motel they had booked into by Jiraiya's insistence.
It was only with a couple of blasts of compressed air at the blue-skinned monster that Naruto got any breathing space, and that was just in time to see Itachi snap Sasuke's neck. It was almost a casual motion, just a mere grab of the tearful boy's throat who had just poured his heart out to his misplaced older brother and a flick of the wrist.
No one knew, but Itachi was crying tears mixed with blood as he did so. It may have been deemed heartless and cruel to kill your little brother after he professed that he still loved you, but Itachi couldn't run the risk of his brother being captured by any unfavourable parties and corrupting him with blackmail and lies to turn against Konoha – especially since Sasuke had admitted that he hated Konoha slightly after finding out the truth.
Itachi couldn't face Shisui in the afterlife if everything they had worked towards – the peace they had managed to scrape together – went up in flames by his younger brother who had lost himself to the cycle of hatred. So he killed Sasuke, because there was nothing else he could do without going against everything he had lived for in the past decade – who was he if he was not the hated Itachi, killer of the Uchiha clan?
Of course, Naruto didn't see it this way. He just saw both of his teammates killed right in front of him; one in such small shreds that there was no way that anyone could ever bury her, and the other in a tragic turn of events right after he learnt that his brother still loved him, and he loved him back.
All the willpower and resistance Naruto had built up towards the Kyūbi and the temptation of his power during the repeats was snapped in a second.
Kisame wasn't fast enough to raise his sword up to block the blood-soaked and blood-red chakra covered Naruto that leapt towards him. He was rewarded with a set of newly elongated teeth sinking into his arm and savaging at it, tearing chunks of blue skin and red muscle mass off to spit onto the floor.
The blood splattered against the floor, and deep red that mingled with the scraps of Sakura and what was left of her pretty, red clothes to paint a redredredscene on the floor. It was mirrored in Naruto's eyes as he continued to snap and snarl at Kisame, three tails already blooming out behind him to thrash the walls into fine powder.
But for all of his power, Naruto could not stand against the might of the Amateratsu. It took a few moments for the black fire to pierce through the cloak surrounding Naruto – resulting in Kisame losing a large piece of his kneecap to Naruto's hungry jaws – but as soon as it hit Naruto's skin he shrieked in pain. The cloak dropped, as well as the boy, who writhed on the ground as his skin was burnt off him in long peeling strips and his blood boiled.
Kisame looked on with vindictive glee at the sight of his tormentor being burned to absolutely nothing which gave Itachi enough time to burn the image of Sasuke's broken body on the floor into his mind with his sharingan before wiping his face of emotion and tears. He stood beside Kisame, watching Naruto burn and scream as the demon in his gut tried to heal him, resulting in an interesting effect of constant healing that was torn down in a matter of seconds.
This was the scene Jiraiya burst into. He took one look at Naruto's nearly dead body before bellowing in rage and lunging at the Akatsuki duo.
Okay, so this was a rather long and mixed chapter. I know many of you were probably a bit uncomfortable with al of the sexual stuff I was throwing around, but I'm sorry to say that stuff will be staying in the thick of this story.
And no, in response to many of your reviews, I'm not going to make a perfect plot for this story. I do have an idea of where it will go in the form of a very, very basic storyline, but there won't really be any specific moments planned.
Heck, I didn't plan any of this, it just came out!
I hope you enjoyed anyway, my friends!
