A week or so later John sat in his office in the afternoon, trying to focus on some supply requisition requests he needed to approve, but mostly succeeding in daydreaming about what he thought might be served in the mess for dinner that night.
He looked up at the sound of a knock on the door and his foot fell off the side of his desk when he jerked slightly at the sight of Laura Cadman leaning against the doorframe.
Her hair was down, the soft red locks were vibrant against the shoulders of her regulation black tee shirt. Dressed in BDU bottoms and combat boots she looked comfortable and military and somehow distractingly, unavoidably, feminine.
"Busy?" She asked with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.
John made a face and lifted the tablet in his lap. "Weapons requisitions," he gave it a waggle, "Do I want to know why you're requesting three canisters of RDX for the next supply run?"
Cadman blinked and her smile turned sweet. Too sweet.
"No."
John sighed, shaking his head as he affixed his digital signature to the request. "Just…don't do anything McKay is gonna yell at me for, okay?"
"I never blow up anything I don't intend to, Colonel." She rolled her eyes when he pinned her with a knowing look. "That was one time!"
"What can I do for you Cadman?" John said, shaking his head again. The woman was incorrigible. But then, that was probably why she fit in so well on their base of bull-headed scientists and brilliant military personnel who seemed to function on a level that was equal parts stubborn loyalty and near insubordination.
"You know anything about Satedan wedding ceremonies?"
John's head snapped up. Cadman had come to sit in the chair in front of his desk and leaned one elbow on the armrest, chin in hand.
"You planning to propose to Ronon?"
"No."
"Good." He returned to his tablet.
"But Jen is."
His eyes moved up again. "What?"
She blinked lazily at him, unbothered by his seeming shock. "You heard me."
"But…why?" He paused. He wondered if Cadman knew about the baby, but didn't say anything. Jen had said they were keeping it quiet, it wasn't his place to say if she didn't already know.
Laura wrinkled her forehead. "You really are clueless when it comes to matters of the heart, aren't you?"
John's gaze sharpened. "No. I just thought I was the commander of a military expedition. Not the set of Days of Our Lives."
"Same thing." Laura shrugged. "We're a long way from home on a semi-permanent expedition, people are bound to start coupling up." She gave him a mischievous smile, "You have your eye on anyone?"
John stiffened and returned his eyes to his tablet, despite having apparently lost his ability to read English. "I don't fraternize with people under my command."
Cadman sighed and sat back in her chair. "Technically the scientists aren't under you, they're under Woolsey. And I know a few marines who'd risk a court martial for you." She waggled her eyebrows, "Men and women."
John coughed and his ears turned red but his gaze remained admirably unchanged.
"Well you can keep those names to yourself."
Laura inhaled deeply and moved to stand. "Don't get your panties in a twist, sir." She walked back toward the door, a slight skip in her step knowing she'd gotten under his skin. "Just try to get the info from Ronon, will you? And be stealthy about it. Jen wants to surprise him."
"What? How?" He stood up and Cadman stopped to turn around. "I can't just…just…ask him about that."
"Why not?"
"It would be weird." He shook his head, "He would know something was up."
Cadman sighed again and took a few steps back toward him. "Just..be casual about it. You guys must talk, aren't you like best friends?"
"Yeah, but we're also guys. We talk about military strategy and sports…not our love lives."
"His love life you mean," she snorted, "since apparently you're not allowed to have one."
John narrowed his eyes. "So that's why."
"Why what?"
"Why you're still just a lieutenant." He dipped his chin meaningfully and sat back down, picking up his discarded tablet again.
Cadman sighed. "Just get the information John." At his raised eyebrow she shifted. "I mean sir. Please."
John shook his head. "Fine. I'll see what I can do."
She beamed at him and John swallowed, pretending not to notice.
"Great, thanks." She backed toward the door. "Oh and, uh, Colonel?"
He looked up and met her eyes.
"I won't mention any names, but uh..." She smiled, gave him an exaggerated wink and then disappeared around the corner.
John dropped his head into his hands.
"Crap."
SGASGASGA
"Did you talk to John?" Jen asked, laying on Laura's couch in her quarters. One arm was slung over her eyes, the other hand on her stomach, she resisted the urge to rub and instead drummed her fingers lightly.
She was so exhausted she could barely keep her eyes open and the most strenuous thing she'd done that day was walk to Woolsey's office and back to the infirmary. She hadn't even seen any patients. Since she was just staring at her laptop, too tired to even type, and they didn't have any patients, she'd told Marie she was taking the afternoon off and headed back to her quarters for a nap.
Three hours later Cadman had radioed her asking if she wanted to come watch a movie. Ronon was teaching an advanced weapons class all afternoon so she'd taken her up on the offer. But she'd been so worn out by the walk to and from the transporter that she'd immediately collapsed on Cadman's surprisingly comfortable futon when she arrived.
"Yeah, I told you. Three days ago."
Laura's voice sounded from somewhere behind and to her left and was slightly muffled. Jen guessed she was rummaging in the small cabinet by the door next to her bathroom where she kept her dvds.
"He hasn't said anything?"
"Not yet," there was the sound of a crinkling wrapper and this time Jen guessed Laura had retrieved a bag of popcorn. That made her smile slightly. Popcorn was one of the few things that didn't make her queasy lately and Laura would have to walk down to the mess to get it popped and Jennifer could probably snag a quick nap while she was gone.
Yes, she'd just woken from a nap. Yes, she was still tired.
Too tired, in fact, to care about talking to herself about naps.
"You sure you don't want me to talk to Ronon for you?"
"No!" Jen sat up quickly, "You have all the subtlety of a 2 ton bomb Laura and I-"
It was then that Jen realized it wasn't popcorn Cadman had been fiddling with. It was an open bag of potato chips.
Salt and Vinegar.
Laura followed Jen's narrowed gaze to the bag in her hand and held it out to her.
"Want some?"
The color drained from Jen's face and she clapped a hand over her mouth. Panicked flailing limbs flew outward and Laura stumbled backward and Jen pushed past her, almost tripping over her own feet in her haste to get to the bathroom. Her hand slapped clumsily at the door sensor and she half jumped, half fell through before the door had even fully retracted.
"Jen!" Laura dropped the snack onto the couch and followed her friend. "God, Jen are you okay?"
The doctor was bent over the toilet, retching violently and Laura reached for her hair, quickly swiping it up and holding it back. She knelt beside her and used her free hand to rub her back, worry furrowing her brow.
"Why didn't you say you were sick? I thought you were just laying down because you'd had a busy day in the infirmary." She brought her voice down a couple octaves when Jen moaned and mumbled something about 'not sick' into the toilet. After a few minutes the toilet helpfully flushed itself when Jen turned to lay her head on her outstretched arms.
Her eyes were screwed shut and she winced against the taste in her mouth.
"You're definitely sick," Laura tsked, moving her hand from Jen's back to press against her forehead. "You're a little bit warm."
Jen slapped her hand away. "No I'm not I'm fine."
No sooner had the words left her mouth and she had climbed to her feet than the whole world turned fuzzy, floaty, spun and then went black.
"Jen!" Laura shrieked, jumping forward just in time to catch her friend's form as she went limp and she slumped back toward the floor again.
"Cadman to the infirmary!"
Laura sagged in relief when Marie's voice immediately responded, her steady voice promising to send someone to transport the CMO to the infirmary calming Cadman's suddenly frayed nerves. She frowned down at her friend's head in her lap and smoothed her hair back on her head.
"What have you gotten yourself into this time, Keller?"
SGASGASGA
Ronon sat cross legged on top of the desk in the Armory, watching the new recruits disassemble and clean the P90s they'd been using during the training. He'd wrapped the class up early, wanting to get back to Jennifer as quick as possible. She'd been tired a lot lately and this morning she'd complained of more nausea and a headache.
He'd helped her off the floor when she'd emptied what little she'd eaten the night before into the toilet and deposited her in a hot bath before he left. She'd promised to relax as long as possible before her shift started and to stop by the mess on her way to try to find something to eat.
His gaze shifted off the men and their weapons and to the floor, remembering the tired, happy look she'd given him when he kissed her before he left. He was overwhelmed again with the surge of protectiveness he felt every time he thought of her, amplified lately by the life he knew she carried within. It had been a week since she told him and every time he thought of it he was overcome by an intense desire to be by her side, coupled with a sense of utter helplessness.
She was carrying their child, his child. She was growing it and nourishing it and protecting it. She dealing with the difficulties of pregnancy. And she was doing it admirably.
He just didn't know if there was anything he had to offer to help.
His eyes slipped to his blaster in his thigh holster on the desk next to him.
Then there was everything else.
Would they be able to stay on Atlantis? Would their child grow up in the shadow of the Wraith as he had? Or did dangers and challenges he didn't understand or know how to handle await them in another galaxy? Would it be a boy or girl? Warrior or life giver? Would he remember enough of what his father had tried to teach him to pass it on? Or had running from the wraith for so long taken that from him too? Did he remember how to be gentle? How to make a child laugh? Would the child fear him the way other people did? Would they know he loved them? Would he know how to show it?
Teyla stood next to Ronon and tilted her head, watching him as he stared unseeing at his weapon beside him. She nodded at the last of the men who filed out of the room and picked up the key from the desk beside her friend to lock the weapons locker. She was surprised when, even at the clang of the lock sliding into place, Ronon did not stir.
It was not like him to be so distracted. She could hardly remember a time when he was in a room and didn't glance toward the door every few minutes. He was always aware, always ready. And certainly never, ever, startled.
The behavior was so unusual that she started herself when she touched his arm and his head snapped toward her, jumping to his feet.
"Teyla," he said, his breathing a little short and erratic. He wasn't used to being startled anymore than she was used to seeing it.
"Are you well?" She asked, brown eyes roaming over him carefully, "you were…preoccupied."
Ronon took a deep, steadying breath used the excuse of picking up his blaster and walking across the room to take a few extra moments to collect himself.
"Yeah," he rumbled, facing away from her as he put the weapon away in his locker. "Thinking."
"I noticed," she angled her head, "Would you like to talk about it?"
Ronon crossed his arms and looked at her. He supposed if he were to talk to anyone it would be Teyla. She had a child and, unlike almost everyone else around, had grown up in Pegasus as he had. Yet, words came to him with enough difficulty as it was when he knew what he wanted to say. As confusing and disjointed as things were to him now, he wasn't sure he could come up with anything intelligent to tell her.
Before he could open his mouth to try there was a click and a voice in his ear and he reached up to activate his radio.
"Go ahead Cadman."
"Ronon, did you know Jennifer was sick? You should have told me."
He frowned, tilting his head. "What are you talking about?"
"She just passed out in my bathroom after puking her guts out! I couldn't wake her up!"
Ronon's heart skipped and then dropped to his feet. Something in his expression must have changed because suddenly Teyla was tense and standing beside him, a waiting, ready look on her face.
"I'm on my way."
"We're headed toward the infirmary. But if there is something you didn't tell me you and I are gonna have more than words, buddy."
Ronon grunted, deactivated the radio and turned to leave the armory at a run, Teyla was hot on his heels.
TBC
