Disclaimer: I do not own Austin and Ally or The Duff
There are few things I love as much as peace and quiet on a Saturday night - or a very early Sunday morning. Other than my dad's muffled snoring the house was dead quiet as I snuck in a little pass one A.M. As I made my way through the living room, I noticed another postcard from my mom from Africa. I didn't even bother reading it, I was too tired and it probably said the same thing the last 12 did "I miss you! I'll be home soon, Love you! I don't know what my mom's definition of 'soon' is but she hasn't been home in over a year and a half.
As I walked into my room and kicked of my shoes, my migraine finally started to subside. I pulled off my blouse and jeans next that wreaked of sweat and tossed in the hamper across the room. I argued with myself as to whether I should shower now or in the morning. I finally decided to do the latter. I was too exhausted.
Before crawling under the sanctuary that were my sheets, I took a glance at myself in the reflection of the full length mirror in my room. I saw myself with new eyes, with new knowledge. Uncontrollable brown hair, big ass, small boobs. Yep. Definitely Duff material. How could I have been so blind? I mean, I'd never considered myself particularly attractive, and it wasn't hard to see that Trish and Cassidy were gorgeous. The fact that I played the ugly girl in or little trio was now clear as day to me, all thanks to Austin. Sometimes it was better to be clueless.
I pulled a blanket up to my chin, hiding my naked body from the scrutiny of the mirror. Austin was living proof that beauty was only skin-deep, so why did his words bother me? I was intelligent. I was a good person. So who cared if I was the Duff? If I were attractive, I'd have to deal with guys like Austin hitting on me. Ugh! So being the Duff had its benefits, right? Being unattractive didn't have to suck. Damn Austin! I couldn't believe he was making me worry about such stupid, pointless, shallow crap.I closed my eyes. I wouldn't think about it in the morning. I wouldn't think about Duffs ever again.
Sunday was amazingly quiet, ever since Mom left things were usually pretty quiet at home. Before she left for her research project in Africa, the house always seemed loud. There was always laughter or music playing. I think my mom's daily playing of the piano or the violin was where my love of music began. But ever since she left a while ago everything grew still. Like me, my dad wasn't exactly a social butterfly. He was usually buried in his work or watching television. Which meant the Dawson household was pretty quiet for the most part.
Monday, however sucked. I usually loved school but today everything was going wrong. It all started first block when Cassidy slumped into Spanish with tear-stained cheeks and running mascara.
"Cassidy, what's wrong?" I asked. "Did something happen? Is everything okay?"
I'll admit it; I always got really freaked out on the rare occasions when Cassidy came to class looking anything less than a supermodel. I mean, she was constantly looking gorgeous. So when she came in looking so depressed, it scared me a little.
Cassidy shook her head miserably and collapsed into her seat. "Everything's fine, but… I can't go to Homecoming!" Fresh tears spewed from her wide bright eyes. "Mom won't let me go!" That was it? She'd gotten me all freaked out over Homecoming?
"Why not?" I asked, still trying to be sympathetic.
"I'm grounded," Cassidy sniffed. "She saw my report card in my room this morning, and she found out I'm failing chemistry, and she flipped out! It's not fair! Basketball Homecoming is, like, my favorite dance of the year… after prom and Sadie Hawkins and Football Homecoming."
I tilted my chin down and looked at her teasingly. "Wow, how many favorites do you have? "She didn't answer. Or laugh.
"I'm sorry, Cassidy. I know it must suck… but I'm not going either." I didn't mention that I wasn't going because I couldn't dance to save my life or that and no guy would ask in a million years. Cassidy already knew the reasons why, and I didn't think reminding her would help the situation. But I was pretty happy I wouldn't be the only girl skipping. "How about this: I'll come over, and we'll watch movies all night. Will your mom be cool with that?"
Cassidy nodded and wiped her eyes with the cuff of her sleeve. "Yeah," she said. "Mom likes you. She thinks you're a good influence on me. So that'll be okay. Thanks, Ally. Can we watch '27 dresses' again? Are you sick of it yet?"
Yes, I was getting very sick of the mushy romances Cassidy swooned over, but I could get over it. I grinned at her. "I never get tired of Katherine Heigl. We can even watch 'The Ugly Truth' if you want. It'll be a double feature."
She laughed-finally-just as the teacher made her way to the front of the room and began calling roll. Once that little crisis was behind us, Spanish went by smoothly. Cassidy's tears cleared up, and by the time the bell rang, she was laughing giddily while Kira, a friend of ours, told us about her new boyfriend. I found out that I got an A on my last test so I was in kind of a good mood.
"And he has a job on campus," Kira rambled as we pushed our way into the crowded hall.
"Where does he go to school?" I asked.
"Marino Community College." She sounded a little embarrassed, and she quickly added, "But he's just getting his associate's degree there before he goes to a university. And Marino Community college is a great school" she sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than us
"That's where I'm going," Cassidy said. "I don't want to go too far from home."
Cassidy and I were such polar opposites, it was sort of funny sometimes. You could always predict what one of us was going to want to do just by picking the reverse of the other. Personally, I wanted a change of scene, get out of Miami as soon as possible. Graduation couldn't arrive soon enough, and then I'd be off to New York going to my dream school MUNY for college.
But the idea of being so far away from Cassidy and Trish I wasn't entirely sure how I'd handle it. They kind of balanced me out. I wasn't sure anyone else would be willing to put up with me being such and anti-social nerd once I left town.
"We should get to chemistry, Cass," Kira said as she shook her long black bangs from her eyes. "You know how Mr. Haynes gets when we show up late."
They scampered off to the science department, and I started down the hallway heading toward AP government. My mind drifted to other places, to a future without my best friends to keep me sane. I'd never considered that before, and now that I was thinking about it, it made me really nervous. I knew they'd tease me for it, but I would have to find a way to keep in constant touch.
I guess my eyes lost contact with my brain, because the next thing I knew, I ran smack into Austin Moon
That was the end of my good mood.
I stumbled backward, and all of my textbooks slipped from my arms and crashed to the floor. Austin grabbed me by both shoulders, his large hands catching me before I had the chance to trip over my own feet and slam into the tile.
"Whoa," he said, steadying me.
We were standing way too close to each other. I felt like I had bugs crawling under my skin, spreading from the places where his hands touched me. I shivered with disgust, but he misread it.
"Wow, Duffy," he said, looking down at me with a cocky grin. He was really tall-I'd forgotten that, sitting next to him at the Beat the other night. He was one of the tallest boys in our school at least six two. An entire foot taller than me. "Do I make you weak in the knees?"
I rolled my eyes as I knelt down and began to gather my books, and to my intense displeasure, Austin joined me. He was playing the Good Samaritan role, of course. I bet he was hoping some hot cheerleader would walk by and think he was being a gentleman. What a pig. Always looking to score.
"Spanish, huh?" he said, glancing down at the scattered papers as he grabbed them. "Can you say anything interesting?"
"El tono de tu voz hace que quiera estrangularme." I stood up and waited for him to hand over my papers.
"That sounds sexy," he said, getting to his feet and handing me the stack of Spanish work he'd swept together. "What's it mean?"
"The sound of your voice makes me want to strangle myself."
"Kinky."
Without another word, I jerked the papers from his hands, and stomped off to class. I needed to put as much distance between myself and the womanizing bastard as possible. Duffy? Seriously? He knew my name! The egotistical jackass just couldn't let me be. Not to mention my skin was still itching where he'd touched me.
I took my seat in Mr. Wallace's class still fuming. Class was just about to begin when the last student entered just as the bell rang. "Sorry, Mr. Wallace. I was putting up signs promoting next week's inauguration ceremony. You didn't start already, did you?" My heart skipped as I recognized the voice. Now I think I've made it clear that I don't really swoon over boys but Dallas was the one exception. I turned my head to see him standing there with his brown hair that flopped just the right way; he smelled like an ocean breeze.
Aside from him saying libary instead of library, he was perfect in every way. He wasn't a testosterone-loaded football player. He wasn't an overly sensitive guitar-playing hippie. He didn't write poetry or wear eyeliner. So he probably wouldn't have been classified as the typical hottie, but since I was as what Austin so delicately called me- the Duff. I probably had a better chance with intelligent, libary instead of library saying, somewhat socially awkward, Dallas. Right?
Wrong.
Dallas was my perfect match. Unfortunately, he wasn't aware of this fact. Every time I came close to him at school or the cellphone accessory cart at the mall I became a tongue tied and started to chew my hair. (A bad habit that I picked up ever since I was a kid. Trish keeps on swearing she'll put a dog cone on me someday). Dallas probably thought I was some hair chewing freak. He never looked at me or spoke more than two to me at a time
"It's fine" Mr. Wallace said breaking me out of my thoughts "Just try to be on time for now on"
"No problem, sir "Dallas said as he made his way to
Dallas took a seat in the front row next to Jenny Woods. I know it's wrong to ease drop but I couldn't help but listen in on their conversation while Mr. Wallace started writing notes on the board. "How was your weekend, Dallas?" Jenny asked through her always stuffed up nose. "Did you do anything exciting?"
"It was pretty good," Dallas said. "Dad took Emma and me out to visit some colleges. We toured the University of Florida together. That was fun."
"Is Emma your sister?" Jeanine asked.
"No. Emma's my girlfriend. She goes to Seaside High School. Didn't I tell you about her? Anyway, we both got accepted there, so we wanted to check it out. I'm looking at a few other schools, but we've been together for a year and a half, and we kind of want to attend the same school to avoid the long-distance issue."
"That's sweet!" Jenny cried. "I'm still not sure what university I'll go to."
My heart was breaking. Dallas had a girlfriend? For a year and a half? How had I missed that? And they were going to college together?
He wouldn't date you, anyway, a voice in my head hissed at me. It sounded uncannily like Austin's annoying voice. You're the Duff, remember? His girlfriend is probably thinner with bigger boobs.
It wasn't even lunch yet, and I already wanted to go home and retreat to the sanctuary that was my. I wanted to forget Dallas had a serious girlfriend. I wanted to wash the feeling of Austin's hands off me. Mostly, though, I wanted to erase the word Duff from my memory.
Oh, yeah, and things got worse that day, too.
Before everyone was dismissed for the day, the principal made an announcement that because of some chemical explosion this kid named Dez caused the school would be closed tomorrow. Both Trish and Cassidy insisted we go out to The Beat again tonight since we didn't have to worry about going to school tomorrow.
Now I'm sitting in my bedroom brainstorming ways I could get out of seeing a bunch of teens dance to migraine-inducing techno music. Trish was supposed to pick me up at seven and it was six-forty. I better think fast, I could say that I was coming down with something or that I had a lot of homework to do, No, they'd never buy it , Trish had an amazing BS meter. Maybe some fresh air could help me come up with some better lies.
I went downstairs and found my Dad using the cordless in the kitchen. I heard him before I saw him. He was yelling into the receiver. I stood in the doorway, assuming he'd notice me and immediately lower his voice. I figured it was another telemarketer or bill collector until my name came up.
"Think of what you're doing to Ally!" Dad's loud voice, which I'd taken for anger, sounded more like pleading. "This isn't good for a seventeen-year-old girl and her mother. She needs you here at home, Penny. We need you here."
I quietly walked back into the living room, surprised to realize he was talking to my mother. Truthfully, I didn't really know how to feel about it .My mom has been in Africa doing research for her new book for nearly 2 years now. As a kid my mom would always travel to do research for her latest book but she was never gone for more than a month or two. When she came back, from wherever she was she always gushed about all the places she'd seen and the people she'd met. The only thing different this time is that this has been the longest amount of time she's been gone for a research project. And I have feeling she finished her research a long time ago. Obviously that was why Dad was pissed. Because she'd been gone for so long.
"Damn it, Penny. When are you going to stop being a child and come home? When are you coming home to us… for good?" The way my dad's voice cracked when he uttered that sentence nearly had me in tears. "Penny," he murmured. "Penny, we love you. Ally and I miss you, and we want you to come home."
I pressed myself against the wall that separated me from Dad, biting my lip. I mean, why couldn't they just get a divorce already? Was I the only one who could see that things just weren't working out here? What was the point of being married if Mom was always gone?
"Penny," my father said, sounding like he was on the verge of crying. Then I heard him put the phone down on the counter. The talk was over.
I gave him a couple of minutes to collect himself before I walked into the kitchen. "Hey, Dad. Is everything okay?"
"Yeah," he said, he was a worse liar than I was " everything is fine, Ally-cat. I just had a talk with your mom and… she sends her love."
I just nodded
I saw his eyes drift over to the counter, where he'd left his car keys, and I followed them. He noticed this and looked away quickly, before I could say anything. "Do you have plans tonight?" he asked.
"Well, I could make some, but…" I cleared my throat, uncertain of how to say my next sentence. Dad and I really didn't make a habit of talking to each other. "I could stay home, too. Do you want me to stay here and, like, watch TV with you or something?"
"Oh, no, sweetie ," he said with an unconvincing laugh. "Go have fun with your friends. I'll probably go to bed early tonight, anyway."
I looked him in the eye, hoping he'd change his mind. I knew how my dad could get after fights with Mom. I was worried about him, but I wasn't really sure how to approach the subject.
And in the back of my mind, there was this tiny fear. It was stupid, really, but I couldn't shake it. My father was a recovering alcoholic. I mean, he quit before I was born, and he hadn't touched a drop since… but sometimes, when he got all pouty about Mom, I got scared. Scared that he might take those car keys and head to the liquor store or something. Like I said, it was ridiculous, but the fear couldn't be vanquished.
Dad broke our eye contact and shifted uncomfortably. He turned and walked toward the sink, washing the plate he'd just eaten spaghetti off of. I wanted to walk over there and take the plate-his pathetic excuse to distract himself-and throw it on the ground. I wanted to tell him how stupid this whole thing was with Mom. I wanted him to realize what a waste of time these dumb depressions and fights were and just admit things weren't working out.
But, of course, I couldn't. All I could say was, "Dad…"
He faced me, shaking his head, a wet dishrag dangling from his hand. "Go out and have fun," he said. "Seriously, I want you to. You're only a kid once."
There was no arguing. That was his subtle way of telling me he wanted to be alone.
"Okay," I said. "If you're sure… I'll go call Trish."
I walked upstairs and into my bedroom. I picked my cell phone up off the dresser and dialed Trish's number. Two rings in, she answered.
"Hey, Trish I know you are picking me up 7 to got to the Beat , but do you think it would be okay if I stayed over tonight? I'll tell you about it later, but I… I just don't want to stay at home." She said sure and I hung up.
As I got ready to go out I couldn't help but feel that this terrible day was just the beginning of my worries.
