Author's note: This is my first fic, so please tell me what I should improve, so I can become better :)
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this fic, and neither do I own the rights to the story.
Chapter two: secrets
Draco wasn't sure what to do. He wanted to comfort Harry, but the boy would only lash out again, and Draco wasn't too keen on being hit in the face again.
He decided to not say anything and to just put a hand on Harry's shoulder, but of course he had to step on a twig and Harry turned around immediately.
Draco thought he'd already seen him at his worst, but Harry's face proved him wrong. His eyes were so red and full of tears, Draco didn't think he was able to see anything, and his nose was running. 'Merlin,' he thought, 'How can someone look so broken?' But just then, the sadness shifted to determination, despite the tears still running down Harry's face, and Draco couldn't help but admire the boy's spirit.
"Who's there?" Harry demanded to know, his voice strong even now.
Draco hesitated. If he said anything, Harry would immediately recognise his voice and Draco was quite sure that he was the last person Harry wanted to see right now. So instead of saying anything, he just went to the other boy and put his hand on his shoulder.
Harry tensed for a second but then he relaxed and slumped back against the tree. Tears started to stream down his face again, but this time, he seemed (slightly, very slightly) less devastated and hopeless.
Draco sat down beside him, allowing Harry to lean onto him, the boy's glasses lying somewhere on the grass.
Suddenly, Draco heard the bell ring and barely managed to stop himself from swearing. He squeezed Harry's shoulder one last time and left, taking his bag with him.
Harry's POV
The person squeezed his shoulder once more and left.
Harry hastily picked up his glasses to find out who it was, but he couldn't see anyone besides Malfoy, who was hurrying towards the castle.
'Where could they have gone?' Harry wondered. He took off his glasses to wipe his eyes and then put them back on, which somewhat improved his vision. He rose slowly, knowing that he still had almost one hour to get to potions, and took a walk through the castle grounds in order to calm down. Harry didn't know why, but doing that always helped him clear his head.
Snape told them about some new potion, but Harry didn't really listen. Usually, that would have earned him a remark from Snape, but the potions Professor didn't say a word. Harry actually thought he saw a flicker of worry in his black eyes, but he quickly disposed of the thought. Snape was most likely only worried that Harry might blow up the potion because he didn't listen to his explanations, nothing else. After explaining he paired them up, and proved to Harry that he didn't give a damn by putting him together with Malfoy, of all people.
Harry rolled his eyes and went to sit beside Malfoy, who had, of course, taken notes on everything Snape had said about the potion.
"Potter, would you mind fetching the ingredients while I prepare the cauldron?"
Without waiting for Harry's response, Malfoy reached him the piece of parchment with the notes.
When Harry returned with the ingredients, Malfoy whispered "thanks," causing him to almost drop the ingredients in shock. What the hell was going on with Malfoy suddenly?
Harry shook his head and put down the ingredients carefully. Since Malfoy was still busy trying to get the cauldron to the exact temperature required (as were the others, even Hermione), Harry decided to start chopping some of the ingredients after looking at Malfoy's notes to make sure he didn't accidentally cut the wrong things.
When Malfoy finally got the temperature right, he let out a sigh of relief and turned towards the ingredients, only to find that Harry had already prepared the ones which needed to be added first, so he took them and put them in the cauldron, slowly stirring counter-clockwise like Snape had told them to.
Since they had (surprisingly) worked together without even one snarky remark, they were finished at almost the same time as Hermione and Neville (Neville had prepared the ingredients, just like Harry), which Harry would previously have thought to be impossible.
Apparently Snape was surprised, too, but the corners of his mouth twitched a little, almost as if he was about to smile. And to top off the weirdness of that lesson, Snape actually praised both of them, not only Malfoy, even though this time Malfoy really had been the one to do the biggest part of the potion.
Later in the Gryffindor common room, Harry found a note in his bag. He didn't recognise the handwriting but he knew that didn't mean anything, it could have been altered magically.
Harry,I can't even imagine what you have gone through, and I won't pretend that I know what's going on in your head, but I do know that keeping your feelings locked away from everyone else will ultimately hurt you even more. Trust me, I have first-hand experience.I assume you told your best friends today, so you got a bit of the weight lifted from your shoulders. But should you need someone else to talk (or rather write) to, go to the Owlery and tell one of the owls to bring this piece of parchment back to me, the owl should be able to find me.It may be hard to trust an anonymous person, but you know me. Not well, that's for sure, but I'm loyal and I won't betray anyone's trust. It's a trait of my house, actually, to be loyal.Well, that should narrow it down a little, but I bet you won't figure my identity out with only that.-someone who cares
Harry didn't know what to do. Who would have been able to smuggle the note into his bag? Who would care to write this note to him? And should he trust them, or was it all just some sick joke?
He paced around the Gryffindor common room until the first Gryffindors started to flow in, causing him to leave and walk around the castle aimlessly. He wanted to finally be able to tell someone, but he wasn't sure whether he could trust the person who sent the note. What if as soon as he told them, they'd go to The Prophet, or Skeeter? On the other hand, he didn't have to tell them right away, he could first try to get to know them before actually deciding.
After about half an hour of thinking, Harry decided to try it. What was the harm in trying to get to know this anonymous person? So he scribbled something on the back of the parchment and headed to the Owlery. He tied the note to a barn owl's leg and said, "bring this to the person who wrote it, please." He gave her a treat and watched as she flew away, feeling a bit of excitement.
Draco's POV
Draco stared at the back of the note he had slipped into Harry's bag.
Thanks for the note. I wasn't sure at first, but yeah, I'd like to write to you. But don't expect me to tell you everything instantly, I will take my time. I don't mean to offend you, but I learned the hard way to not trust everyone.-Harry
His hands trembled slightly. This was his second chance, his chance to undo his past mistakes!
He took the piece of enchanted parchment he'd bought in Hogsmeade and tied it to the owl's leg. It was part of a set of two, enchanted to transfer writing from one to the other. Draco had, of course, added a few spells his mother had shown him, so that the two pieces could only be activated with a password.
He attached another note, explaining how the parchment worked and giving Harry the password. He almost sent the owl without altering his handwriting, but luckily, he remembered.
He sent the owl away to Harry and waited, checking the parchment every five minutes. He hadn't mentioned in his note that he'd also charmed the parchment to alter the handwriting, but he was sure that Harry would figure it out. If he wrote, at least.
It took about two hours, but finally, there was some writing.
That parchment is pretty cool. Did you make it yourself?
Not exactly, I only added some spells so that not everyone can read it. My mother taught me how to do that.
But isn't that, like, way above fourth-year level? That must have been difficult, right? I don't really get to practice all that much over the holidays, though, so I don't really know how hard those spells are.
Draco furrowed his brows. Sure, Harry lived with muggles, but he should still get to practice, or at least study. He knew that Granger did, she was, as much as Draco disliked it, top of their class after all.
What do you mean, you don't get to practice over the summer? Don't the muggles let you study?
They didn't use to. They locked my stuff away the first times, actually. They hate magic. But I'd rather not talk about my 'family' if you don't mind…
Draco felt anger build up in his chest. How dare they lock Harry's things away! Don't they know that he needs them? How can they so willingly try to ruin his life because they don't like magic?
He froze. That was not so different from what his father always did. Training him to become the next right hand to the Dark Lord, to follow in his father's footsteps. And his mother didn't dare defy Lucius. But Draco would have to, sooner or later. And the way things looked, he feared it would be sooner rather than later, too soon for his comfort.
That's totally fine, no pressure. If you don't want to tell me, I won't ask. Should I tell you about my family? Only non-specific things, of course, I don't want to give away my identity so soon.
Yeah, you can tell me about your family. I mean, only if you want, of course.
Okay, where do I best begin? My parents, especially my father, they… they value traditions a lot. They don't actually go so far as to attack anyone, but sometimes I see this glint of violence in my father's eyes, whenever he has to talk about people with non-magical parents. He has some dark artifacts, but I think he won't ever use them, because he is afraid. My mother still loves him, and I think he loves her too, but he only sees me as the heir to our line…I wonder what he would do if he knew that I actually like muggles (they have great books, for example). He would probably disown me right away, not that I care much.
Draco hesitated. If he said the word and activated the charm which would transfer the writing to Harry's piece of parchment, he would surely figure out that he was Malfoy, and he couldn't allow that to happen. Not yet.
So he erased his writing and started over.
You really want to know?Well, first you need to know that my father is not a very nice person. He may care for me and my mother, but if he does, it's only because he doesn't want his line to end. He wants our traditions to endure, as if this doctrine hadn't brought enough suffering with it already. He's as closed-minded as a person can get, and I know he would at least disown me if he found out that I do not share his views.I'm trying to get one of those muggle devices to use magic instead of elec… whatever it is called, and I had to destroy my first attempt because he almost found it. He was not pleased about the nightstand I had pretty much incinerated before his eyes, but at least he couldn't find any remains of the device. After that, I got my mother to show me how to magically hide things, and I've been working on it since about the time of the Quidditch World Cup.
Draco read it over twice before he said the word which activated the parchment's magic and 'sent' the writing to Harry's counterpart.
He waited patiently for Harry to respond, but nothing came. Draco stared at the parchment with disappointment and tipped it with the tip of his wand, saying the incantation which would make it seem like any clear piece of parchment, until he would undo the spell again.
Harry's POV
Harry was annoyed. He had been writing to the mysterious person who had slipped the note into his bag, but Ron and Hermione had, along with Fred and George, pulled him along to the Hogwarts kitchens, thinking Dobby and the other house-elves (and the delicious food, of course) might cheer him up.
They were in the kitchens for nearly two hours, and Harry could tell that Hermione was having a very hard time not commenting on how house-elves should be treated better, getting free time and being paid.
Dobby kept fussing over Harry, muttering surprisingly rude things about the Moody-impostor and the death eaters, and Harry had to stop him from slamming his head on the (still hot) hearth because he said bad things about his previous masters, the Malfoys.
"Thank you mister Potter, sir. Dobby still can't say bad things about his masters without trying to hurt himself, no matter how hard he tries. But Dobby is getting better at it," the elf said.
Suddenly, Harry felt as though something had clicked in his head. "Dobby, can I ask you a question?"
"But of course, Harry Potter, sir," Dobby squealed, "everything mister Potter wants, sir!"
"Okay, so," Harry cleared his throat, "I was wondering whether they… was Draco like them, too?" It felt weird, using the first name of his nemesis.
Dobby shook his head violently. "No, the young master, he- he wasn't like him, at first. The master used to-" he tried to hit his head with a frying pan but Harry gripped his arm. "he used to- Dobby is sorry, but Dobby can't say it," the elf said sadly.
"Don't worry, it's fine. Can you tell me something else?"
"Dobby thinks so, sir. The young master used to have a secret box with muggle things, which the mistress hid for him with spells, so it couldn't be found. But the master did find it. He- he told the elves to search the young master's room and they found the box, and the master was- he was furious. Dobby remembers the punishment Dobby had to give himself." At that, the elf shuddered and gripped the frying pan again.
"Bad Dobby, very bad Dobby!" he shouted while trying to hit himself with the pan, and it was only thanks to Harry's seeker reflexes that he didn't succeed.
"Thank you, mister Potter, sir," Dobby croaked.
"I think that's enough, don't you, Harry?" Hermione said as she marched towards him. "Don't you see what your questioning does to him? He's still bound by his magic, even two years after you-know-what."
Harry nodded, grateful that she didn't mention him tricking Malfoy's father into setting the house-elf free. He didn't want to know how the other elves would react to that.
And Hermione was right, the questioning had really gotten to Dobby, but Harry had found out what he wanted to know. Now he only had to check his theory, though he would have to be more subtle than he'd ever been.
Fred, George and Ron reappeared from around a corner not too long after that, carrying heaps of sweets, and they said goodbye to the house-elves, who tried (successfully) to push quite a lot of sweets into Harry and Hermione's arms, too.
Upon entering Gryffindor tower, Harry immediately snatched up his stuff and activated the parchment with his wand.
I'm sorry, my friends dragged me along to the kitchen to try and cheer me up… as if food is all it takes.But I learned something interesting from one of the house-elves, Dobby. He's a little different from the other elves, valuing free time, too. His previous master was a cruel man and I might have tricked him into setting him free about two years ago. Dobby is really nice, though he looks a bit weird (he collected all of the clothes Hermione made and hid all over Gryffindor tower. She's trying to help the elves, but she doesn't get that they don't really want her help. She even started this 'Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare', S.P.E.W. for short. Should probably have thought of a better acronym if you ask me…Are you really trying to get a muggle device to run on magic instead of electricity? That sounds quite difficult. What kind of device is it?-Harry
Harry tapped the parchment and his writing faded away.
He didn't actually expect to get a response right away, since he hadn't responded for two and a half hours, so when he checked the parchment after dinner and his Potions homework (the nerve of Snape, to give them homework even now), he was quite surprised to see the (no doubt magically altered) handwriting already. Whoever he was writing to seemed to really care.
They know how to get into the kitchen?! How? Tell me, please!
I think I saw this Dobby once, at night in my house's common room. He wears quite a number of hats, right? I've been wondering where he'd gotten such… peculiar woolen hats and socks from, guess I know it now.Please tell me that you were joking about 'spew', I almost choked on my pumpkin juice when I read that during dinner. How many times have people just called it spew instead of S.P.E.W. if I may ask? I bet Ron did, right?
Harry cursed. He should have paid more attention during dinner, then he might know who this person was by now.
He sighed, exasperated by his own stupidity, and continued to read.
The device is supposed to play music from some kind of small disk, but I still haven't managed to make it work. I even asked Flitwick for help, but he said it's probably too advanced for me, so I'll have to keep trying on my own.
You know, the last time I shared my thoughts so freely was… I don't even remember, to be honest. And I really like that. So if you find out who I am… just don't stop writing to me, okay?By the way, I thought of a nickname to use, what do you think of it?-Nidhogg
Yup, that would be Dobby. Do you know the painting of the pear? You just have to tickle it long enough,and the doors to the kitchens are wide open for you.Hermione's knitting skills are really not that good, but she's getting better. She improved the charms on the needles and actually managed to make some sock-shaped socks. She stopped knitting stuff for the elves, though, I guess she realised that she wasn't helping them with the hidden clothes, or Ron finally managed to talk her out of it (or the twins, they're good at persuasion).So you're trying to get a CD-player to work on magic? Sounds awesome. Be sure to let me know when you finish it.Your nickname is kinda weird, but it's cool. I like it.Anyway, it's late and I still have homework to do, so that's it for today.Night-Harry
He murmured the spell that would hide the writing in case someone saw it and put the parchment into his bag, then he went to bed.
His sleep was again full of green flashes and dead people, only now they seemed to stare at him and Harry heard them whisper to him with a cold voice. It's your fault that we're dead. It's all your fault. You destroy everything around you and they hail you as the one who saved them, how ridiculous. You're the reason I wreaked havoc, you're the reason everyone is dead!
Harry woke up, bathed in sweat. He tried to pick up his glasses but his hands trembled so much that he couldn't grip them. He looked around but all he could see without his glasses was that it was still dark.
He sat up, trying to calm his nerves, to stop his hands from shaking. 'Now he won't even let me sleep in peace! How can he- no, stop it. It was a dream, nothing else. He almost killed me, of course his voice would find its way into my nightmares'
He tried to convince himself that it had been nothing but a dream, but his terrified mind disagreed with the logical one and took up more and more space, until the logical one was gone and all that was left was fear. He stood up shakily and walked to the bathroom to wash off the sweat.
He didn't make it past the mirror because when he looked it, he didn't see himself. He saw a distorted version of his face, his features intertwined with Voldemort's, his eyes shining red and his nose half transparent, showing a snake's nose underneath.
He suddenly felt a searing pain in his scar, and in his arm where Pettigrew had cut him.
He gasped, biting back the screams even as he collapsed, pulling the sink down with him. He didn't really feel the splinters cutting into his hands and arms as he lost his consciousness.
The last thing he remembered was the door being pulled open forcefully and someone bending over him, shouting at someone else to run to McGonagall, then his eyes closed and he was surrounded by darkness.
He woke up with a hellish headache, and Madam Pomfrey was beside his bed immediately, as if she had a sixth sense.
"Finally, Mr Potter. You've had us quite worried there, you know? Collapsing in the bathroom in the middle of the night. Though we should be grateful that the crash of the sink woke up some of your housemates. If you hadn't been found… I don't even want to imagine what would have happened. Your scar and the wound on your forearm seem to have had quite a bad reaction. But it's alright now, I took care of it, so you should be able to leave today evening."
"How- how long have I been…" "about 30 hours. It really was quite bad, I wonder how you could not notice it. Did your scar not hurt?"
Harry looked down. "It hurts quite often, and it was always when Vol- I mean You-Know-Who was close, like when he was in Quirrell's head. So I just figured it was normal for it to hurt, now that he's back."
"Foolish boy, do you realise that you could have died? Honestly, young people these days…
By the way, there's an anonymous gift for you, Mr Potter. Complete with a card, actually."
Madam Pomfrey went to her office and returned with a box and a card. He opened the box first and found that it contained a shattered CD with soot and scorch marks, as well as some sweets from Honeydukes.
Harry hastily opened the card and read the familiar, magically altered writing.
Harry,I'm sorry I can't be in the hospital wing, but I don't want you to know who I am just yet. I heard about what happened from Madam Pomfrey, but she wouldn't tell me much, and your friends wouldn't have told me if I had asked. Are you alright?My CD-player blew up in my face yesterday, just when I thought I had finally managed to enchant it.I'm sending you the CD as a symbol that while things may break, in the end everything will work out.Actually, this sounded a lot better in my head, but it's too late now. I don't really know what stuff you like, so I just packed a bit of everything I have from my last visit in the box and hope that I didn't pick exactly the things you don't like.Please write to me when you get out of the infirmary-NidhoggBy the way, I just decided to tell you who I am on the last day before the holidays, if you want me to. Or I'll give you a big hint, at least.
Harry looked at the card. It was a simple 'get better' card, and yet…
He snapped his fingers. It was a card from a muggle store, but Hogsmeade was a completely magical village, so how did Nidhogg get the card?
Harry decided to think about that later, and instead said, "Accio bag!"
About a half minute later, his bag flew into the infirmary. Harry checked whether his ink bottle had been broken by the flight, but everything seemed fine, so he took out his quill and the parchment, activated it and started to write. He left out the details about the nightmare, instead describing the distorted reflection more detailed and how he had broken the sink while collapsing to the floor.
He downplayed Madam Pomfrey's assessment, writing that it had been an after effect of his battle with Voldemort (which wasn't exactly a lie). Harry also asked Nidhogg how they got the card, but he didn't really expect an answer to that.
Merlin's pants, that's something serious. And don't downplay it, I know that you always do that. You need to look out for yourself, too, not just everyone else.Dobby got the card for me. I went to the kitchens and asked him to get a muggle card, and that's what he brought me. There's nothing wrong with the card, is there?Are you doing anything during holidays? I think I'm going to practice combat spells, we are likely going to have to use them before long.Ugh, sorry. I didn't mean to be so glum.Anyway, I doubt Pomfrey wants you to do anything right now, even if it's only writing, so… just get better, okay?-Nidhogg
Harry stared at the parchment. How could Nidhogg already tell that he was downplaying what had happened? Did they really know him that well, or was it obvious?
He shook his head. No, it was fairly obvious that he would downplay pretty much everything.
By the time dinner came, Madam Pomfrey gave him a small glass with a clear liquid. "This will help against any pain your scar might still give you, but you have to eat after drinking it. Your friends have brought your things to the infirmary while you were unconscious.
I'll put up the curtains so you can get changed."
Harry put the glass on the nightstand and changed into his school robes after Madam Pomfrey had placed the curtains around his bed.
Harry was still a little early for dinner, so he sat down at the Gryffindor table and waited, taking out some of the sweets Nidhogg had sent to him (he remembered what Madam Pomfrey had told him, and his head was still feeling like it was split in two).
The pain started to cease almost as soon as Harry had eaten the sweets, and it was gone mere minutes later. Madam Pomfrey really had some strong painkiller potions.
Not too long thereafter, the Great Hall filled with students from Hogwarts, Beauxbatons and Durmstrang. Dumbledore rose from his seat and addressed them, talking about the importance of unity in these dark times, unity between the schools as well as unity between the houses. His eyes rested on the tables of Gryffindor and Slytherin a little longer.
Dumbledore went on to express his regret that Karkaroff couldn't be there. Then he cleared his throat and went on, "It is my belief - and never have I so hoped that I am mistaken - that we are all facing dark and difficult times. Some of you, in this Hall, have already suffered directly at the hands of Lord Voldemort. Many of your families have been torn asunder. A week ago, a student was taken from our midst.
Remember Cedric.
Remember, if the time should come when you have to make a choice between what is right, and what is easy, remember what happened to a boy who was good, and kind, and brave, because he strayed across the path of Lord Voldemort.
Remember Cedric Diggory."
He sat back down and enormous amounts of food appeared on the tables as if on cue.
"Finally, I'm starving," Ron said as he started to load his plate with an obscene amount of food, making Hermione roll her eyes. She opened her mouth to say something but she bit back whatever she was going to say when she saw Harry.
"How are you, Harry? You had us worried, collapsing in the bathroom and being out cold for an entire day. What happened?"
"Madam Pomfrey said it was something with my scar. Apparently it kind of reacted to the cut I got from Pettigrew when he took my blood. But don't worry, I'm fine now. Or better at least."
"Okay," Hermione said, not completely convinced. She hesitated, seeming to contemplate whether to do it or not, but her curiosity won. "Who is Nidhogg? You've been saying that name, along with something else."
Harry looked at her. What should he do? She would definitely see through any lies, but if he told her the truth she might freak out about his trusting a stranger whose name he didn't know. Scratch that, she would absolutely freak out. What if she went to McGonagall? Harry could totally see her do that, just like she had done when Sirius had sent the Firebolt.
"They're just someone I'm writing to. Nidhogg is a fake name, since they don't want me to know who they are yet-" Harry started, and Hermione promptly interrupted him. "You mean to tell me that after everything that happened over the past days, you just decided to trust a person whose face you have never seen? I'm going to tell McG-" "Hermione, don't," Harry growled. "I know that they're is a Hogwarts student, and I'm almost certain that Nidhogg is a guy, which should narrow it down somewhat. I also have some ideas who it might be and none of those people are dangerous, so don't you dare tell McGonagall or any of the other teachers, understood?" He glared at her.
"Don't say I didn't warn you, then," Hermione said resigned and turned to her plate.
The rest of the year was uneventful, for which Harry was grateful. He wrote with Nidhogg quite often, but he still didn't know who he was (at least Nidhogg accidentally confirmed that he was indeed a guy, as Harry had suspected). Harry had even tried to ask Dobby, but the elf had refused to tell him, and Harry didn't want to push the elf too much (Dobby had reached for dangerous cooking tools several times while they'd been talking).
Hermione had been acting a little cold towards him since he'd snapped at her, but Harry didn't have any intention of apologising unless she apologized first and stopped trying to persuade him to stop writing to Nidhogg.
Crabbe and Goyle had tried to get him once (well, Harry had accused their fathers of being death eaters), but someone must have seen it because when Harry had turned around, both of them had been lying on the floor, magically tied up.
On the last day at Hogwarts, Dumbledore rose from his breakfast and said, "Another year has passed now, and most of us are now another year older. There has been a lot of excitement, a lot of joy and happiness, and a lot of pain. But that's in the past, and the future is yet to be. Our thoughts need to be focused on the present, for it is what shapes our future. Without a present, there is no future. And that means that when our present is in danger, so is our future. Now more than ever we have to stand together, against the threat of Lord Voldemort. And if we do so, no, when we do so, he will be unable to defeat us.
But for now, friendship and comradery beyond the borders of our houses are all we need, so don't look for differences, but for similarities, and I can assure you, you shall find them aplenty."
He sat back down and slowly, the students started to cheer. Some looked confused, others annoyed, about his inter-house unity speech, but everyone clapped.
During the train ride, Harry checked his parchment several times (Hermione had found him staring at it and demanded that he told her the whole truth, so there was no point in trying to keep it a secret anymore), but he didn't get anything from Nidhogg until they had almost reached King's Cross.
Im sorry, but my friends didn't give me any opportunity to write alone until now. I promised I'd give you at least a hint, didn't I?So here it is. I didn't just choose a random name.What do you know about Norse mythology?
Author's note: Sooo, what did you think of it? I'm not absolutely satisfied with it, but I also couldn't think of a way to improve it D:
By the way I chose one of Dumbledore's actual speeches, did you find it?
I hope I'll be able to keep uploading one or two chapters per month but I really can't promise, with finals coming up in may I'll have to do lots of studying.
Anyway, thanks for reading :)
