a/n: i've realized as i've been writing this more - it's structured a lot like Mishpokhe (though shorter) with its periodic and habitual time jumps, so keep that in mind. i'll clarify best as i can at the beginning of every chapter.


Stillwater, Pennsylvania: 1984

Young and Wild


There was a dirty white t-shirt hanging from a rung of the ladder that led up to the barn loft, but today, neither of its usual occupants were up there. The floor of the barn was just as far away from prying eyes as the loft - in fact, old man Crenshaw – Gibbs' boss – seemed about the only one in town who was unfazed by a little scandal.

Gibbs wiped a rag across his brow and sat down on a blanket next to Jenny, grateful for an afternoon break from the sweltering heat. He'd worked so much these past three weeks, while she was in California on a mandated visit to her mother, that he'd done things the old farmer hadn't even known he needed done.

But Crenshaw paid him, and that was what he needed – as much money as he could possibly hide away, so he could feel like he was living up to what he needed to be. He didn't care as much as Jenny did about the eyes on them, but he cared about impressing her father, and sticking it to his own.

Jenny pushed her hair back, handing him a bottle of water.

"You're sunburned," she remarked.

She crawled forward and gave him a hug – she hadn't seen him alone since the airport. He put his arms around her and smiled, taking a deep breath. He shrugged a little, and she pulled away and kissed him quickly.

"Keep forgettin' to put sunscreen on," he grunted.

She ran her hand over his bare arm and then pressed her palm against his chest, smiling a little.

"You have a farmer's tan," she noted, wrinkling her nose. She gave him a look through her lashes. "Why don't you just work with your shirt off?"

He smirked at her, and opened the bottle of water, giving her a nod of thanks for bringing it. He was glad her father had let her come down here – sometimes, the Colonel liked to pretend he was medically concerned for her to keep her as locked up as possible – discipline, he said.

Jenny sat back and pushed her hair back again, lifting her shoulders.

"So," she started, biting her lip. "Do I look different?"

He lowered the water bottle, scrutinizing her. He didn't know what she wanted him to say. She didn't look much different than she had when she left – but her being away for almost a month did make it a little more obvious that she was pregnant, because before that he'd just been used to seeing her every day.

He shrugged.

"You look fine," he promised her.

She sighed, and frowned a little, running her hand over herself. She looked up, sighed again, and shrugged – she tried not to think about it so much. She tried to compartmentalize it – mostly because now, she'd moved past the shock of being pregnant, and she was in a strange sort of limbo – a limbo where she didn't have a baby…yet.

"How was California?" Gibbs asked.

He reached for the bag she had – the same bag she always carried, and rooted around inside; he knew she'd have stopped by the General Store to pick him up a sandwich, or some fudge or something from his mother. He found it quickly, and grinned at her.

Jenny tilted her head back and forth.

"Nice," she said, surprised to admit it – she usually didn't like being with her mother; as much as she didn't like small town Stillwater, she didn't like being ignored by her mother, either, and at least here she had Jethro.

Gibbs raised his eyebrows.

"She was, you know, nice to me," Jenny muttered, shrugging a little. "She kept saying things mothers are supposed to say – you know, how I shouldn't have been so stupid, and how it was really irresponsible of me – but she didn't seem to care too much," Jenny explained. She paused a moment. "She's right outside of San Francisco, you know."

Gibbs nodded.

"The people there are really…progressive," Jenny said. "No one really stared at me. And she," Jenny bit her lip a moment. "She bought me stuff, clothes, and stuff for … the baby."

Gibbs arched his eyebrows, swallowing his food.

"Really?" he asked gruffly.

That was something Jenny definitely wasn't getting from her father – his deal was he'd take care of medical bills for her and the baby – easy enough, for someone with Army benefits, and he'd provide her a place to live, but she had to make money for the frivolous things and the things the baby needed.

He was having her babysit for money – which she didn't complain about, it was logical – and Gibbs was working his ass off; it was a surprise to hear that someone had taken mercy on them – someone besides Gibbs' mother, who was trying to do it without being too subversive to Jackson Gibbs or Jasper Shepard.

Gibbs tilted his head at her.

"Your Dad doesn't want you to stay there, does he?" he asked warily.

Jenny laughed hoarsely.

"Not anymore," she snorted. "Not after I came back with – onesies, and some cloth diapers – my mom said that will be cheaper – and little shoes, and some new clothes for myself."

Jenny licked her lips, rolling her eyes sarcastically.

"He thinks I'd have too much fun," she said tensely. "My mother isn't—you know, condescending enough, and punishing enough, and disappointed enough," she lashed out. "God forbid he lighten up. It's not as if I'm going to be having any fun with a baby. I could use some – "

She broke off, and shrugged, flushing a little. She swallowed hard and shook her head.

"Never mind," she muttered.

He shrugged.

"I don't care if you bitch about your old man," he told her bluntly.

He understood where she was coming from – her father seemed to be as satisfied as he was ever going to be with Gibbs' show of working and committing to Jenny, but Gibbs' own father hadn't lightened up, either. He'd taken to coming into Gibbs' room in the middle of the night and waking him up, just to simulate what it would be like to have a baby.

Jenny smiled at him, and pulled her bag towards her.

"I know you don't," she said.

She started rummaging through her bag, but she didn't look away from him. She seemed hesitant, and then she pulled an envelope out, and she held it to her chest, compressing her lips.

"My mom … she took me to a fancier doctor, one with a lot of new stuff?" she started nervously. "She gave me a better estimate of when – I'll have the baby."

Gibbs brushed his hands off on his jeans and leaned forward, listening carefully – Jenny had been seeing a doctor in Scranton for the whole summer, a different one than she'd first seen – it was the same woman Ann Gibbs had seen when she was pregnant. However, the nuances of ultrasound technology weren't available all over yet, and most small town people still thought of it as a luxury that was only needed if something was wrong.

"Dad thinks it's frivolous and it's a privilege I shouldn't have," she said, rolling her eyes - she tried to play if off like it hadn't hurt her feelings when her father had shown no emotion when she had showed him. She pulled the ultrasound photo out of the envelope. She'd been excited to see the photo, despite herself and all the stress it would bring, and she'd hoped her father would take a moment to let her be happy.

"Here," she said, moving closer, and handing it over.

Gibbs looked at the photo in her hand for a moment, and then he scooted over, taking it gingerly. He lowered is eyes, and she snuggled up to him, despite the sweltering August heat, and pointed.

"It's easier to see what it looks like now," she murmured. "This was when I first got to California – that doctor said I'm six months. That means November, but probably later than we thought," she narrated, tracing the outline with her finger.

Jenny fell silent, and looked up, watching Gibbs take it in. His jaw was set stiffly as he stared, and he seemed to be really concentrating. He sensed her gaze, and glanced at her, his lips turning up a little.

"Not as tiny," he remarked.

She nodded. She touched his arm.

"You know how I used to say, the few times they showed me, she looked like a bug? Or something little? Well - ?"

"She?" Gibbs interrupted.

He turned sharply and stared at her, raising his eyebrows.

Jenny nodded slowly.

"Yeah," she said quietly. "The doctor said she could make a really educated guess, because of the new technology," she chewed on her lip for a moment, "and, she said it's a girl, probably."

Gibbs looked back at the picture, his eyebrows going up slowly. It looked so blurry to him – he couldn't see anything, and he wasn't really sure what he was supposed to feel – but he understood the word girl. He swallowed hard, and turned back to Jenny.

"A girl?" he repeated.

She nodded hesitantly.

"Is that okay?" she asked.

Gibbs lifted his shoulders. He nodded, tilting his head. He hadn't really thought much about it. She misinterpreted his silence, and she grabbed his shoulder.

"It's not for sure," she said quickly. "It might – it's so blurry, and the technology is so new," she placated. "But it's kind of neat to have an idea – "

"You tell my mom?" Gibbs asked, cutting her off. He held up the photo. "Jen, she'd be really excited for you."

Jenny smiled, pressing her lips together.

"I wanted to tell you first," she said quietly. She wrinkled her nose. "Aren't you excited for me?" she asked a little dryly.

He arched his eyebrows, and she burst out laughing, taking the photo back and resting her head on his shoulder. She stared at it thoughtfully, her grin fading just a little, and she traced her finger around it.

"I mean," she began bravely, "I'm a girl, so at least I know what to do with a girl."

Gibbs snorted, and gave a protracted groan. He put a hand to his forehead, cringing a little.

"I don't know shit about girls," he muttered.

Jenny laughed again. She sat up, and held the photo in her lap, looking over at him.

"Like I was saying," she said carefully, getting his attention again. "I was thinking, since I used to keep saying she was like a little – moth, or gnat or something," she trailed off, biting her tongue anxiously. "I think I might call her Nat. Like, Natalie."

Gibbs turned to face her, looking at her intently. It was one of those moments when things started to feel very real, and it was overwhelming. He went through days where it was something that lingered in the back of his mind – that he was going to have a kid – and he went through days where he faced it head on and was terrified.

"Do you like it?" Jenny ventured.

He smiled a little.

"It's pretty," he grunted.

She sighed, and her face fell.

"I wish we were talking about anything else," she said.

Her pretense of optimism faded, and she put her head in her hands, taking a few deep breaths. She swallowed hard, trying not to cry – she had been so good at not crying lately; she'd gotten a lot of it out of her system back when she first got pregnant.

Her life had felt so much lighter in California – she was away from everyone in the town talking about her, whispering about her, giving her funny looks; she was able to convince herself she was escaping just for a little while, and it had been nice, even though she had missed Jethro.

She looked up, pushing her hair back.

"Betsy Carmichael keeps calling me a tramp to her stupid Sunday school friends," she lashed out, her voice cracking. "A tramp, Jethro!" She licked her lips. "And I know she's had sex with two football players, but she didn't get pregnant and no one knows, so it doesn't matter!"

Gibbs blinked at her, and shrugged.

"Who gives a damn what that cheerleader thinks?" he growled defensively.

"Everyone," Jenny said sullenly.

That's how it felt, at least – back in April, and May, when they'd still been keeping things quiet, nothing had really been different - but somehow, people had started to find out, and whisper, even though Gibbs' and Jenny's fathers had decided it was best to just never explicitly confirm. She was glad that school had ended when she started to show a little – but she dreaded starting up again in September.

Gibbs shrugged again, annoyed – no one was calling him names, not that he knew of. He was working too much to know – and he never had hung around with many of the guys at school, anyway. He had always kind of kept to himself.

Jenny put the photo away, and wiped at her eyes shakily, pushing her hair back again – it was a nervous habit. She took a slow breath, and then looked at him, her eyes wary.

"Can I tell you something awful?" she asked in a hushed tone.

He simply nodded, wondering what could possibly be awful about her.

She bit her lip hard, and she was quiet for so long, he thought she'd changed her mind. Then she looked down, her hair falling over her shoulder to shield her face, and she swallowed tensely.

"Sometimes I wish I'd have a miscarriage," she whispered hoarsely, "because then it would all be over … but it wouldn't be my fault. And I'd never have to think about it again."

Gibbs stared at her for a long time, uncertain what to say. He didn't want to tell her that he thought the same thing, because he was supposed to be the stronger one, the rock. He didn't want to sound despicable – he knew his mother would cross herself twice for even thinking such a thing – but sometimes, he wanted out as much as she did, and he couldn't control his thoughts, either.

He cleared his throat gruffly. All he said was –

"I don't think that's awful."

She pushed her hair behind her ear and gave him a wry, tearful look.

"My dad's right," she admitted. "I'm selfish. I don't know how I'm going to do this … and then sometimes, I get kind of excited, and I feel so stupid – "

He nodded. There were days when he just accepted he was going to have a kid, and he shrugged his shoulders at it and thought he should just let it be – and those days, he acted a little too carefree, and he usually got a good reminder of a smack from his father.

Jenny rubbed her nose.

"We can do this, right, Jethro?" she asked. She gestured at her abdomen hesitantly. "Just lie, if you don't think so," she added, laughing tiredly.

He moved closer, and put his arm around her. He nodded, pressing a kiss to her jaw gingerly, and resting his forehead against her temple.

"I don't think anyone knows how to take care of kids," he muttered brashly.

Jenny laughed hoarsely. She leaned into him heavily. He grunted, arching his brow.

"Hey, I get any say in – uh, her name?" he asked, putting some effort into taking steps forward, making it sound like he was confidently ready to do this, when the time came.

Jenny nodded, sucking in her breath.

"Sure, you can pick her middle name," she teased lightly.

Gibbs grinned. He reached out to push her hair back, and he fell silent, watching her close her eyes and compose herself. They sat there a moment, and then a shadow fell over them – old Farmer Crenshaw cleared his throat, squinting.

"Leroy, you get back in that field, if yer wantin' to hightail it outta here before dark," he ordered gruffly.

He was a stern old man with a soft heart – and he spared an intent, calm look for Jenny. He held up the cane in his hand, and then beckoned, giving her the barest hint of a wink.

"My chickens hatched some little 'uns the other day," he said gruffly. "You come with me, squeal over 'em like you girls do," he suggested, turning, leaving it up to her to follow. "I get the feelin' you'd like to spend some time away from Chief," he muttered knowingly.

Jenny smiled at his back, and Gibbs stood, extending his hand to help her up. She grabbed her bag, deciding to take Crenshaw up on his offer, and she watched Gibbs grab his t-shirt and slip it back on, cracking his knuckles before he got back out in the heat – to whatever he was helping with. She glanced up at the loft they'd spent so much time in, and bit her lip; her shoulders felt heavy, and she wondered which clandestine, stolen moment, had been the one that changed everything.


Gibbs stood against the cab of his old red truck, blinking in the sunny parking lot. He was a week into his senior year of high school, just turned seventeen, and waiting for the last bell to ring so he and Jenny could leave these first five days of hell behind them.

He had a free period, but Crenshaw didn't need him so much anymore – except on weekends, and for odd jobs that he kept coming up with just to help – and he didn't have to work today. He'd had to work every other day, so at least this time he could whisk Jenny away and save her the drama of having to walk home with crowds of kids whispering about it.

He picked at his nails, looking up when he heard the bell. It took barely a minute for kids to start pouring out of the school, and he waited patiently for her to arrive.

"Tradin' in that truck for a minivan soon, Gibbs?" called one of the guys in Gibbs' shop class.

Gibbs looked up and shrugged.

"Figured we'd just throw the kid in the bed," he retorted sharply, his face unreadable – he refused to take shit from his peers, but the thing was, they hardly ever gave him any – he got treated like a hero half the time; Jenny was the one they teased and mocked.

"Somebody told me her Daddy's gonna duel you, winner gets to keep 'er," another kid joked, lighting up a cigarette as he stood next to Gibbs. He grinned. "Think you can beat Chief Shepard in an old fashioned gunfight?"

Gibbs gave him a cool look.

"Think it's pretty clear who left their mark on Jenny," he drawled.

The guy punched him in the arm, laughing.

"Ay," called another, giving Gibbs' truck a wistful look and then leaning up against it – he was a someone Gibbs knew, lived in the house over from the General Store. "Good thing about it is, you always get to ride 'er bareback now, eh? Nothin' to worry about!"

Gibbs lunged forward at that one and grabbed him by the collar, giving him a threatening glare.

"I hear you talkin' about her like that again –"

"Easy, man, easy!"

The kid with the cigarette put it out and snatched Gibbs' victim, giving him an annoyed look.

"Whatsamatter with you, Chuck? You don't talk about some guy's girl like that, Christ."

Chuck brushed off his shirt, straightening it, and gave Gibbs a nasty look.

"She always seemed like an easy piece of work, anyway," he threw out.

"It's funny," a female voice said, loud and cheerful, "how people keep calling you a slut, Jenny," the boys turned, and there stood Jenny, her face drawn tight, at the side of her best friend – a vivacious, black-haired little thing, "when, you know, sluts are so good at gettin' around, they know how to not get knocked up."

Alison Flynn stood there with a neatly tilted head, blinking sweetly at the group. Chuck shrugged off her comment, shoved his hand in his pockets, and went off with his buddies; Jenny looked after them, and then after a moment, rolled her eyes and shoved her best friend, knocking her math book to the gravel.

"God, Alison," she groaned, rolling her eyes. "That's not the greatest defense. It's like, Jenny's a slut, just not a good one."

Alison laughed and shrugged her shoulders.

"You're right," she patronized. "A good slut would be much more cautious – she'd definitely know that letting her boyfriend open a condom with his teeth probably tore a hole in it – "

"Oh, shut up," muttered Jenny, elbowing her again. "You're lecturin' me – you're a virgin."

"Mmm-hmm," Alison said smugly. "And recent developments in your life have persuaded me to hang on to that bit of my character for a while longer."

Jenny flushed, and Gibbs picked up Alison's math book, handing it to her silently. She thanked him, and sighed, flexing her hand a little before she hugged the book to her chest.

"You want a lift?" Gibbs asked her.

"Nah," Alison sighed. "Levi Rosenthal offered me a ride home," she said, wiggling her eyebrows. She turned to Jenny. "Are you guys gonna come to Chuck's bonfire tomorrow night? Kick off the school year?" she asked brightly.

"Work," Gibbs grunted.

Jenny chewed her lip. She shook her head reluctantly.

"I doubt Dad will let me out," she said glumly.

Alison smiled a little sympathetically, and tilted her head.

"Okay," she said. "I'm going, because Josh Carter asked me to go with him, and he's got a cute hound dog – but can I come over and hang out, during the day?"

Alison was a pro at pretending everything was the same; she wasn't ignoring the change in Jenny's life, but she was stalwartly refusing to let it change how she acted towards her best friend, and Gibbs was grateful to her for it. He liked to see Jenny smile when Alison offered to hang out.

"Yeah," Jenny said softly. "Yeah, we can watch MTV or something."

"Well, I don't know about that," Alison said, deadpan. "Those rock videos might convince girls to start having sex."

With that, she walked off, sparing only a moment to shoot a wry look over her shoulder, and then smirk. Jenny grinned, and shook her head, moving closer to Gibbs. He automatically took her book bag, and the slouchy purse she always carried with her.

"She's saving my life," Jenny admitted.

Gibbs reached out and pulled her towards him, dropping her stuff to his feet and hanging his arms loosely around her middle.

"This week sucked," she moaned, hitting her forehead lightly against his chest. She took a deep breath, let it out, and then muttered a few choice swear words. He nodded; he hadn't enjoyed it, either, and he didn't like school under normal circumstances.

"Ms. Booker gave me a lecture," he told her dully.

Jenny looked up, her eyes widening.

"Oh no."

Ms. Booker was their seventy-year-old health teacher – the health teacher who'd taught abstinence only for as long as the word abstinence had existed.

"What did she say?" Jenny asked, wincing – it was a junior class; she hadn't had it yet – in fact, since she'd have it next semester, she'd be the elephant in the classroom, since she'd have a baby.

Gibbs grinned.

"Asked me why I thought I was better than God's natural protection," he snorted – it had been a little more than that, but it was basically a second lecture on abstinence –which was a moot point for him, and essentially a moot point in small town America, no matter how evangelistic the people claimed to be.

Jenny wrinkled her nose, giggling uncomfortably.

"Did you answer her?"

Gibbs just shook his head, and Jenny rested her head against his chest again.

"I don't want to go home," she said. "I don't want to be here," she sighed. She lifted her arms, and then stepped closer. "Let's run away."

He ran his hand up and down her spine, and pressed his lips to the crown of her head, setting his shoulders firmly.

"It'll get better, Jen," he soothed.

She shrugged, only a little comforted. He was probably right – and it wasn't as bad as it could have been, because back when the secret had first gotten out, school had been over – so most people had gotten over their gleeful, shocked whispers, and soon they'd get used to the reality of seeing it in front of them.

She pulled away, and leaned against the truck, kicking her bag a little.

"You know what I found out today?" she asked in a small voice.

"Hmm?"

She tilted her head back and stared at the sky.

"There was some debate about me being allowed to come back to school."

"What?" Gibbs asked sharply, blinking. "Why the hell – "

"Because of what kind of example I'd set," she said heavily. "For the younger girls. They suggested my father try a … bigger school, in the district." She took a shaky breath, and her lips trembled. "It's just one mistake," she said desperately. "I know it's a big one, I'm not trying to act like this isn't a huge thing but – I didn't kill anyone."

She looked over at him, and he gave her a bitter look – not directed at her, but at the people who were treating her so differently. That's why he didn't like it here. That's why he and his father clashed – because Gibbs didn't like people putting their noses where they didn't belong, and he didn't like that this whole town thought everyone thought and worked the same.

She licked her lips, and stared at him sullenly.

"Homecoming is October sixth," she said quietly, blinking quickly. "I'll be eight months, I won't fit into dresses – and Dad, he won't," she broke off, gritting her teeth. "I can't go."

Gibbs shrugged a little.

"I hate those things, Jen," he reminded her. "We weren't gonna do all that, you said – "

"I know what I said," she snapped. "I know, but now it's just another conspicuous thing," she broke off again, and hit her head against the truck. She reached up to hold onto the mirror, and her chipped red nails sparkled in the sunlight.

She stared at her hand.

"I'm signed up for three AP classes," she said quietly. "I kept all the honors and APs on my schedule, because I want that, and I want to get into a good college, and to make my Dad impressed with me, but I," she caught her breath uncomfortably, "I don't think I can do it. If he won't help, and you're in school, too, and I have to pay someone to watch a baby, and then work – sometimes I just start thinking about it, and it gets so overwhelming I want to scream!"

She groaned, kicked her bag over, and then pushed her hair back.

"How do you cope?" she burst out. "You're always so quiet, and you're always just there – it's like you don't think about it."

"I think about it!" he said defensively. He struggled to find something to say for a minute, and then he put his hand on hers, leaning against the truck parallel to her. "I can't do anything about it, Jen," he muttered. "'M always … tryin' to just …get through the day."

"But what about the future?" she asked. "Doesn't that terrify you?"

He shrugged.

"Not yet."

It was only a partial truth; of course it was daunting, but he meant what he said: he just thought about the day he was currently having, and he got through that, and he moved forward. He never had any plans for college or anything like her, he just had known he was going to leave Stillwater – and that had probably changed now, but he didn't dwell on it.

Jenny looked at him in disbelief for a moment, and then she smiled. She smiled, and she laughed, and she sounded amused and skeptical, but he smiled a little, too. She looked over at him brightly.

"I love you," she said, catching her lip between her teeth. He liked hearing it now as much as he had the first time she'd said it – and he knew she meant it, and when he said it back, he meant it, because as little as he knew about love, he associated it with Jenny.

He stared at her a little longer, and then he smirked.

"You want to come hide out at the store?" he offered. She could do homework there, if she had any, at least that's what she'd say, and she could spend some time with his mother – someone who was a little less hard on her.

She nodded, and started forward. He bent to pick up her things – he had always carried them before he got her pregnant, and he sure as hell hardly let her carry them now. She rolled her eyes at him, but reached for the purse, rummaging for sunglasses. She slipped them on, and then she stood still, and he sensed she was meeting his eyes behind the black lenses.

"Jen?" he ventured, tilting his head.

She pursed her lips, and touched her abdomen.

"Gnat," she said carefully, using the little nickname. "She…is moving around."

Gibbs arched his eyebrows – it wasn't the first time that had happened; she had called him to tell him the first time. She seemed to be a little conflicted though.

"Does it make you feel sick?" he asked suddenly, struck with curiosity.

She shook her head.

"No," she said softly. "It's … nice."

She looked at him a little shyly, and then she reached out.

"You want to – feel it?" she asked.

He let her take his hand, and lay it somewhere on her abdomen, somewhat close to her ribs, and he waited, wary of the sensation – she watched his face, watch his jaw move when he felt, it, too, and she thought – from the sudden sharp, awed look in his eyes – that he might have started thinking in terms of the future.


Out by the old shed where he kept the bones of a car he'd been working on, Gibbs yanked at the stiff tie around his neck, loosening it until it hung against the collar of his suit sloppily. He hated the monkey outfit almost as much as he'd hated court, and he was feeling angry without feeling like he had a right to be.

He was just glad he'd gotten away from his father – Jackson had been angry in the car, angry outside of the courthouse – for once since April, he'd been indignant for his son, and Gibbs didn't like that anymore than he liked being treated like dirt.

He shoved his hands in his pockets a moment, and then turned and violently opened the shed, walking inside and tearing the sheet off the old car. He examined it for a moment, trying to get his thoughts straight – he'd probably calm down if he worked on it a while, focused his thoughts.

"Leroy."

There was a knock on the side of the shed, and he turned to find his mother standing in the doorway. She was barefoot, but she was still dressed in her neat professional clothing – and she'd taken her hair back into a messy ponytail.

Ann smiled calmly.

"I know that was harsher than you expected," she said gently.

He shrugged. He didn't know what he'd been expecting. Jenny had told him point-blank the Colonel was going to take it to court, and when he'd relayed that information to his father, Jackson had shrugged and agreed that it was smart to do that.

"Better to do it now, while you two still like each other, and it's not all about spite," the elder Gibbs had grunted.

Ann entered the shed and sat down on the front of the car gingerly, looking at her son intently. Her lips tightened somewhat; even Ann was a little irritated by Jasper Shepard's behavior – he hadn't been entirely uncivil, but he had been more of a barracuda than was necessary – as far as she was concerned.

"He thinks he's doing what's best to protect his daughter," Ann remarked.

Gibbs nodded. Fine, he didn't care. He'd already worked his ass off all summer; he still worked his ass off now – yard work, construction projects, inventory for the Farm Supply store – he'd already said he'd support Jenny, and her father didn't seem to acknowledge that he was a man of his word.

Gibbs pushed away from the car and leaned against the side of the shed.

"You have a right to be angry, Leroy," Ann prompted sagely. "I'm very proud of you for keeping your cool in public – but you're alone, now," she reminded him. She lifted her shoulders. "I'm not very fond of Jasper's lack of regard for your education – "

"I don't care," Gibbs interrupted in a low voice. He shrugged flippantly. "S'not that."

Ann compressed her lips.

"I care about your education," she said firmly. "I know you don't get along with your father," she said regretfully. She rested her hand on the car. "You have real talent, in those hands. Architects go to college these days."

He shot her a sharp look. He didn't want to talk about what he wanted to do – he wasn't even so sure how she knew that. Maybe she'd seen his sketches of things he could build, or maybe she just understood him better than Jackson did. Still, he admitted to nothing.

Ann grit her teeth – Jasper had taken away much of Gibbs' chances, today. The monthly allowance he'd asked for – and received – meant Gibbs was going to break his back working, and he'd never be able to go to college right away, because his parents couldn't afford to send him, and there was no way he'd be able to work for tuition and keep up his payments to Jenny – especially with her a year behind him.

She understood that the Colonel had always had high hopes for his daughter, and she knew that Jenny had wanderlust – and while Ann by no means felt Jasper was letting his daughter off scot-free, he did seem to hold Gibbs' future in little regard.

"Ma," Gibbs grunted, looking up. "I was gonna give my money to Jen, anyway."

"I believe you," she said. "But I would have preferred he give a little more consideration to your education – "

"I don't give a damn about school," Gibbs grunted.

"Leroy Jethro Gibbs," Ann snapped sternly, "your father and I work very hard to give you better opportunities – "

"Yeah, well," Gibbs interrupted curtly, "now I gotta do that for my own kid."

Ann pressed her lips together tightly. She felt conflicted at his words – she was proud to hear him say that, proud he did seem to realize the wealth of responsibility he was going to inherit, but it broke her heart that his whole life seemed to be cut so short.

"She likes school," Gibbs muttered, rubbing his palms on his suit, getting dust on the trousers. He lifted his shoulders selflessly.

He'd rather Jenny try to go to college, or whatever. He'd do what he had to – there was still the option of the military, he'd always thought that's what he'd do anyway – and his dad couldn't disapprove of that; Jackson was military, and his father before him.

Gibbs leaned forward, examining a spec on the car, and then he clenched his fist. He was upset because Jenny's father thought he needed a court order to make him step up, and he was angry because – Jasper had all but argued that Gibbs wasn't fit to –

"Jethro, I – oh, Mrs. – Ann – "

Gibbs looked up from his car, blinking; he recognized the voice, and he was right; Jenny was jogging across the yard, coming to a stop besides his mother, flushed, her eyes bright. It looked like she hadn't at all expected to interrupt.

"I'm sorry," she said quickly. "Your father said you were out here."

She bit her lip nervously, and Ann reached out to slip her arm around Jenny's shoulders soothingly.

"It's all right, dear," she said. "You didn't run here, did you?"

"I walked quickly," Jenny said diplomatically. She turned to Gibbs. "I know they recommended we stay away from each other after a court date, but I just – look, Jethro, I didn't know he was going to do that. I wouldn't have – "

Gibbs shrugged, avoiding his mother's eyes.

"It's fine," he grunted.

"No, it's not!" Jenny burst out.

Ann rubbed her shoulder.

"Try not to excite yourself – "

Jenny pulled away from her a little.

"I'm not going to pass out just because I get a little excited!" she snapped. She was tired of all these older women acting like pregnancy was such a hush-hush curse; she was fine!

"I didn't know he was going to sue for full custody!" Jenny said.

Ann tried to catch Gibbs' eye, but he still avoided the look. That's what the Colonel had done – stood up, after the monetary issues had been handled, and thrown them all for a loop by saying he was asking for total custody – not for Jenny, for himself.

"I believe he had good intentions," Ann said diplomatically.

"No!" Jenny said stubbornly, stomping her foot. She paused. "No," she said again, shaking her head. "He has been hounding me for months – about how much my life is going to change, how my whole life is going to be about this baby, and I have been trying to at least prove I'm keeping that in mind – and Jethro has been working, and then he tries to take my baby away?"

Jenny licked her lips, and threw up her hands.

"But he'd still want me to be the mother, to work, to do everything, but he's the one who has legal say in everything?"

"Maybe he thought it was safer," Gibbs said sullenly. "He doesn't think I can be trusted."

"Leroy," began Ann carefully.

"No, he's right!" Jenny interrupted again. "If he had won that, it would be kidnapping for me to move away! It would be kidnapping if I brought the baby over here and let her stay with Gibbs for a few days, without his permission! That wasn't fair – to either of us!"

Ann stepped closer to Jenny again.

"The judge saw that," she reminded her. "That's why he awarded sole custody to you, at least."

Jenny pointed at Gibbs.

"But I wanted to share custody! Or – ugh, I didn't even think we had to talk about it!" Jethro and I are together, he's going to help me – and Dad didn't even have to gut you like that financially!"

Jenny was starting to sound hysterical, and Gibbs cleared his throat and strode over, sitting down on the front of the car and looking at her intently. He lifted his shoulders, and crossed his arms tightly across his chest.

"I said I'd pay the money," he said curtly. "Jen." He took a deep breath. "I told your old man I'd pay that much."

She looked at him, her lips parted in surprise. He nodded, getting the point across.

"That way, you got time to focus on stuff, to get into college."

Ann gave her son an admiring look, and Jenny pushed her hair back, shaking her head back and forth.

"Jethro," she hiccupped. "He's – you don't understand, he took my college fund away," she choked.

Gibbs tightened his jaw.

"He – what?"

"I had this – small amount of money, not much, maybe like six thousand? To put towards college, my grandparents left it to me. They left him in control of it and he," Jenny broke off, chewing on her lip. "He changed the terms, I have to use it on the baby."

Ann furrowed her brow.

"What do you mean, Jennifer?"

"I mean," she burst out, "I can either leave it, to start a college fund for her, or I can work out a monthly allowance to afford buying her clothes, or just generally paying for her – and I don't know what he wants me to do, how he's judging my decision – I don't know if he wants me to work, or use it to move out – or keep it for her – "

She strode forward and sat down next to Gibbs, bowing her head.

"He didn't want me to come over here and tell you, but I'm so angry at him for ambushing us – you, like that, and I know your father's mad about it, Jethro," she confessed hoarsely. "You don't deserve this, I just – god!"

He smiled at her a little.

"You got custody, though," he said gruffly. "I can take care of her when you need me to," he promised. "You trust me?"

"Of course I trust you," she hissed, rolling her eyes. She glanced at his mother, flushed, and then pushed her hair back again. "I wouldn't have made … any decisions that might have … put us in this, you know, position… if I didn't trust you."

Gibbs shrugged.

"We'll work somethin' out. Don't care what your father says," he added, despite his mother's look. "And I'll get you to college, Jen."

She shook her head a little.

"I don't think we can think about that right now," she admitted. She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," she started, but then she decided she needed to be apologizing to Ann instead. "I'm sorry he made it impossible for Jethro to go," she said tiredly. "I know…the agreement means he'll have to work to pay, once he's out."

That was because – his committed child support was set to double upon his graduation and ability to get a full time job. He didn't have the grades for a full scholarship – and he didn't care about going.

Ann smiled demurely.

"We make sacrifices," she said neutrally. "Jenny, I don't fault your father for handling this however he thinks is best. And I promise my husband isn't angry with you."

Jackson was pissed at the Colonel, but that wasn't Jenny's fault; and Ann wasn't going to let her own irritation with the man make Jenny feel any worse – these kids were already dealing with more than they should have to. Yes, they had put themselves in this situation, but that didn't mean – in her mind – that they had to be thrown to the wolves.

"I just want him to ease up on me," Jenny admitted, her shoulders sagging. "I know how much I disappointed him. I know he's – embarrassed, and angry and – I know. But I just wish…he wouldn't treat me like I'm empty headed, and like I don't realize what I've done."

"Take the money and move in with me," Gibbs said dryly.

Jenny laughed.

"I doubt that would solve anything," Ann remarked, arching an amused eyebrow. She sighed, and considered them a moment. "This is very hard for all of us to deal with," she said finally, deciding to be frank. "This isn't what any of us wanted for either of you. It's very difficult to navigate…parenting two people – "

"Who are parents?" Jenny suggested.

She looked at Ann, and she felt chastised – but she felt accepted; she was so grateful for Gibbs' mother. She nodded.

"When my dad gives me orders now, it's hard for me not to think…that he can't tell me what to do anymore."

Ann laughed.

"I think you two are going to clash a lot," she told Jenny honestly. "When you have that baby, I want you to remember something," she began wisely: "It is your baby. But he has raised a child before. And you have to balance his experience with your authority as a mother."

Jenny looked at her intently, and moved her head – accepting the advice. She turned and looked at Gibbs, wishing they could just move on from this day – it was one of the worst days she'd had in a while, and it came just as things at school were dying down – people didn't stare so much anymore, they didn't talk – they'd gotten over it, and she figured it would stay that way, simmering, until there was another burst of scandal when she actually had a baby to show off.

Ann inclined her head, and cleared her throat.

"I'm going to start on supper. If you'd like to stay, Jenny, you're welcome – but you will call your father and tell him."

She turned to go, and Jenny chewed her lip a moment, before calling out –

"Ann?"

Gibbs' mother turned, her curly hair bouncing against her shoulders. She arched her eyebrows pleasantly, waiting.

"What about your experience?" Jenny ventured. She hesitated. "My dad … he's a father. My mother," she shrugged, breaking off. She didn't have much to go on, if she based her technique off her own mother.

Ann looked a little honored, and she inclined her head.

"I'd be happy to share some tricks," she said neutrally, and then winked.

She started the walk up the path, from the shed to the house, and Jenny turned to Gibbs. She slid off the car, and walked around it, her hand tracing the chipped, faded paint job.

"You should get this running," she said faintly. "Then, we really could run away."

He smirked, and followed her with his eyes.

"Don't have time to work on it," he said gruffly.

Jenny sighed. She climbed into the backseat and sat there, her eyes stinging.

"I know," she said huskily. "I'm sorry."

He walked over, shaking his head.

"Not your fault," he said.

"You're right," she said, mustering a glare. "You're the one who opened the condom with your teeth."

"Yeah," he growled glaring back. "Why'd you tell Alison?"

"Because," Jenny giggled. "We were trying to – figure out what happened, since I thought it was responsible to use them, and I just … well, she thinks it's funny."

Gibbs arched his eyebrows in disbelief and glanced at her abdomen – yeah, hilarious. She licked her lips, and tangled her index finger in a lock of her hair, staring up at him.

"It's like, two months away," she murmured. "What do you think?"

He shook his head; he tried not to think about it too much.

"S'different than takin' home a sack of flour for a week," he joked.

Jenny smiled half-heartedly.

"Maybe if they told you about teeth and condoms in health class instead of giving you a fake baby and a sermon, this wouldn't have happened."

He smirked. She caught her tongue between her teeth, and then she glanced at the shed door again.

"You still think I'm pretty?" she asked quietly, tilting her head suddenly.

He gave her a look, and then nodded.

"Yeah," he said, without hesitation.

"Even like this?"

He nodded again, firmly. She glanced at the shed door again, and then moved over, giving him room to climb into the backseat. He gave her a somewhat hesitant look – their circumstances had kind of put them off any real sort of fooling around, which seemed odd, since now there really was nothing to worry about.

She beckoned to him.

"That guy the other week was right," she said, batting her lashes wryly. "We don't have to use anything right now."

He gave her a wary look, then a grin, and then he went and pulled the shed door shut, and climbed into the backseat of his pet project with her, pushing her hair back, and pulling her close enough for comfort.


Jenny spent a lot of time in the storage alcove above the General Store these days – she liked it there. There was an octagonal window that let in just the right amount of sunlight, and an old desk with a comfortable chair that Jackson Gibbs did business calculations at. He was kind enough to let Jenny use it for homework on the days when she spent nights at the Gibbs' – even though when it came time for bed, he gave her Gibbs' room, and banished Gibbs to the room above the store.

She respected and obeyed those wishes, but it always made her laugh – the old fashioned rule that was irrelevant at this point.

The whole reason she spent nights at the Gibbses sometimes was because her father refused to leave her alone on his night shifts anymore – now that it was getting closer and closer to time for her to have the baby. He didn't want to put her in an emergency situation she couldn't handle.

She liked to sit in the window seat, and watch people come into the store. The only person who ever looked up to see if she was there was Jethro, and now he came home so late from work that he couldn't see her in the dark.

She took a break from the book she was reading to lean her head back, and in that moment, there was a knock on the door, and Gibbs' mother came in.

"I brought you some tea," she said, holding up a pink mug. She walked over and set it carefully on the desk, looking at some of the other books Jenny had piled up. "Ah, they still make you read The Scarlet Letter?"

"Well, if they didn't, I'm sure they would have put it back on the list, just for me," Jenny said dryly.

"I believe Leroy might have read one page of Spark Notes for this," Ann laughed.

"I liked it," Jenny said softly. She shrugged, and then shifted, getting up slowly – she winced – and coming over to take the tea, admiring the novel. "I like Hester. She showed them all."

Ann smiled.

"Maybe I'll name the baby Hester."

"Oh, you wouldn't," Ann cried softly, wrinkling her nose.

"No," Jenny agreed, shaking her head. She curled her fingers around the mug of tea, enjoying the warmth. "I wouldn't," she murmured – it was a terrible last name, but she liked the idea of using Prynne as a middle name. She didn't say anything though, because she'd already promised Gibbs he could pick the middle.

She took a long sip of the tea – decaffeinated, of course, because Ann knew what she was doing – and a soft, frothy peppermint flavor, enough to soothe her and warm her up.

"Sit down," Ann said, gesturing back at the window seat. "Please, I know, believe me – your feet must be aching."

Jenny sat down without argument, and Ann spun the desk chair around, taking a seat in it across from her son's girlfriend. She looked at the book Jenny had in the seat with her, and the backpack – and a lot of things that Jenny had just started leaving around here – and she smiled fondly.

"How is school, Jenny?" she asked kindly.

"Um, it's good," Jenny answered, taking a deep breath. "I'm still – I'm a good student," she said earnestly. "So, ah – I still have … straight A's," she flushed, a little sheepishly. "But…being pregnant, I know is different than – well, I don't think that will last."

"I wouldn't sell yourself short," Ann retorted confidently.

Jenny took some time to sip her tea, and then she took a deep breath.

"It's not pessimism," she said. "It's – realistic," she explained slowly. "You know I'm…not going back to school until after Christmas."

Ann nodded – that had been discussed; since she was supposed to have the baby so close to Thanksgiving, her father had decided it was best if she just take 'leave' as he called it until she adjusted. Homebound education, it was called – there would be a teacher from the county who came by once a week to make sure her work was getting done.

"You'll have time to keep up your work ethic," Ann encouraged. "Babies sleep as much as they cry."

"So, I'll work while she sleeps."

Ann laughed.

"You'll sleep when she sleeps," Ann corrected. She beamed. "But if you need a break, you can bring her over here."

Jenny smiled faintly.

"I wanted to speak to you about that," Ann went on.

"Hmm?" Jenny murmured nervously.

"Well, you know, your father works night shifts quite frequently," Ann began, "and – I believe he's planning on taking some time off, for a few weeks?"

"Yes," Jenny said quietly. She smiled a little. "He's – to help me. He actually said those words," she went on, a little proudly. "To help me."

Ann nodded.

"He mentioned that to Jackson. However, he's not comfortable with you staying alone in the house, with an infant, when he returns to work – at least not overnight."

Jenny rested her teeth on the edge of the mug, listening intently – her father hadn't spoken to her about this, but deep down, the idea had terrified her. Her father making her do the work while he was there to supervise was one thing; but if there was no one close and something went wrong –

"I felt it would be fair if you brought the baby to us on those nights," Ann said carefully.

Jenny looked at her anxiously.

"What if I don't want to leave her?" she asked quickly. "I mean, I might be tired, but I think I'll be attached, or nervous – and obviously you know how to take care of a baby, but I want to try to – ah, feed her … myself – "

Ann nodded, smiling comfortably.

"You won't have to leave her," she soothed. "You'll be able to stay here, just as you do now. We'll let you stay in Gibbs' room, still – we'll set up the baby in our parlor, though, and put Leroy on the couch with her, and I thought it would be a nice break for you if he took care of her those nights."

"Feeding, though – "

"Oh, Jennifer," Ann said mildly, "I can teach you how to get around that, you'll just prepare some bottles for him ahead of time."

Jenny gave her a bemused look, and Ann laughed at her good-naturedly.

"Are you finished with your homework?" she ventured, changing gears. "Jackson's just closed up downstairs – I'd like to show you something, if you have a moment."

Jenny, a little taken aback by the change in topic, nodded, chewing on her lip.

"Yeah," she sighed, taking another long sip of tea. "I actually am caught up on work, I've been – well, reading ahead, to maybe prevent myself falling behind."

Ann beamed at her. She got up, and beckoned, a secretive smile on her face. Jenny got up, still carefully protecting her mug, and followed Gibbs' mother – down the narrow stairs, into the dark store – where Jackson was still counting money – and out down the path towards the Gibbs' house.

She shivered in the November air, glad it wasn't quite wintery cold yet – it still felt a little like autumn, most days. She walked quickly next to Gibbs' mother, clutching her mug for warmth, and she was relieved when they got into the homey little cottage.

"I worked on this today – I had some help from Jackson and Leroy, but you know I have some free time, when I'm not at the Florists'," Ann explained. She sounded a little nervous, and Jenny's brow furrowed. "Come here, sweetheart," Ann coaxed, taking Jenny's shoulders and guiding her into the parlor.

Ann squeezed her shoulders as she turned her.

"Now," she began delicately, "it's supposed to be a sun room, or a tea room, so it's open, and there are no doors – but it's all we have, and we only had to move an armchair," she explained.

Jenny blinked, looking around her, trying to grasp what she was being shown.

"You see, Leroy can sleep here," Ann pointed at the couch that had always been there. "He can sleep anywhere – men, you know – and it's close enough that he will get to the baby easily, and, it's a little space – "

"Ann," Jenny interrupted, stepping forward. She swallowed hard, walking towards the white, wooden crib set up in the parlor. She ran her hands over it, looking first at the mobile, and then at the pretty bedding lining it. "This…is for me?"

Ann nodded.

"That's Leroy's old crib," she confessed. "Jackson made sure it was still strong enough – Leroy painted it white," she explained. "He," she started to tell Jenny he'd made the mobile, but she held back; maybe Gibbs would prefer she not know. "He wanted to do something."

Jenny bit her lip, swallowing hard. She felt – overwhelmed by the gesture. She turned towards Gibbs' mother.

"Thank you," she said.

"Ah, ah," Ann said. "Not yet." She stepped out of the room a moment, opened a closet – and she came back in with a laundry basket full of things – blankets, some diapers, a few bottles, a couple of small outfits and knit hats.

She set it down in the crib, pointing out a few things.

"It's a lot of basic things," she murmured. "This is for blowing the baby's nose, if she gets a cold," she said, gesturing around. "This is a blanket that I used to put Leroy on, in the yard – oh, and this hat, well, I just put a 'G' on it – I thought you might give the baby our last name…" Ann trailed off.

Jenny sifted through the stuff.

"Ann," Jenny said softly. "Ann, you just – didn't have to…"

Ann held up her hand gently.

"I didn't want t subvert your father's wishes," she said quietly. "I understand that he doesn't want you taking this lightly, and he doesn't want to do anything that seems to reward you – he wouldn't allow me to give you a shower," she confided. Ann paused. "I wanted to do something for you, though," she explained. "I think you understand very well your situation, and I wanted you – and Leroy – to know, well," Ann sighed. "You may be too young, and this is not the best situation, but I don't want you to be so miserable that you resent your child."

Jenny nodded, listening eagerly. Ann sighed, reaching out to touch her cheek in a maternal way.

"And I want you to know you have someone in your corner," she said gently. "I wasn't even sure you had a place to keep the baby in your house, and I know – usually – the nursery is a big part of getting ready."

Jenny was quiet, trying to find something to say.

"I have a place," she said finally. "Dad bought the basics – crib, changing table, a small cradle for my room. This stuff though," she gestured at the clothes. "I…thank you, Ann."

Jenny stepped forward hesitantly, and Ann welcomed her with a hug, wrapping her arms around her tightly. She nodded, and gave the young girl a supportive kiss on the forehead, hugging her a little longer than necessary. She very much hoped that things were going to work out for the best.

Jenny pulled away, looking back at the crib; Jackson and Gibbs walked into the house, stomping mud off their boots, talking loudly.

"Ann?" Jackson called.

"In here," she answered.

Gibbs came in, followed by his father. Ann smiled at Jenny, patted her shoulder again, and slipped out, turning Jackson and taking him into the kitchen. Gibbs approached slowly, keeping his hands in his pockets.

"What do ya think?" he asked quietly.

He had soot and dirt on him; he must have been doing something at the steel mill. She brushed at some of it on his shirt and smiled, clearing her throat and trying to talk steadily.

"I love your mom," she said sincerely. "This is the first time I've just been … kind of happy. Peaceful."

He smirked a little, and gestured with his elbow.

"Hey," he defended gruffly. "I made the mobile."

"Really?"

"Got a lot of shit for it, too. In shop class."

Her eyes glittered, and she stepped closer, resting her hand on his shoulder. She pressed her lips to his jaw, and smiled. He slipped an arm around her waist, and glanced warily into the crib, apprehension rising in his chest. Jenny rested her head against his shoulder.

"Are you scared?" she asked quietly.

He shrugged.

"Nah," he lied bravely, his eyes still on the crib.

"Me neither," she retorted smoothly.

She laughed, then, because as acclimated as she'd gotten to being pregnant, and as used as she'd gotten to preparing for the reality of having a baby, and telling herself what it was going to be like – they both knew they couldn't really fathom what it was going to be like until the baby was sleeping in that very crib.


He had to use a map to get himself to Columbia County General Hospital, because he'd never been to that one before. The few trips he'd taken had been to Benton Memorial, but Columbia County was bigger and better, so that was naturally where Jenny's father took her.

He parked his car haphazardly in the visitor parking lot – his parents were coming along behind him, lagging because Jackson had to lock up the store – and he went in to find the waiting room, looking around for a nurse or – someone to tell him something – his beeper had gone off about two hours ago –

"Leroy," called a stern voice.

Gibbs turned, and found himself face to face with Jenny's father. The Chief of Police considered him for a long moment, his expression gruff and tight, and then he lifted his chin, and checked a watch on the wall.

"You cut school, son?" he asked.

Gibbs gave him a look of disbelief. That's what the Colonel was worried about now? When his daughter –

"Yeah," he said, a little too brazenly. "You don't think I should be here?" he asked, bristling.

The Colonel's expression didn't change.

"These things aren't emergencies," he said firmly. "You didn't have to leave school."

Gibbs glared at him stubbornly.

"I wouldn't have gone at all, if you'd have told me this morning!"

It was Jenny's best friend who had paged him, because the Colonel had called the school, and Alison was an office worker – and then Gibbs found out the Colonel had paged his parents, and his mom was on his way to tell him when he'd shown up.

"Your education is important," Jasper Shepard said stiffly.

"You want me to step up to the plate or not?" Gibbs growled confidently. He glanced towards the doors, and then started towards the nurse's station near triage.

"Where do you think you're going?" Jasper asked.

"To see her," Gibbs fired back.

"I don't think that's a good idea," the Colonel said sharply.

Gibbs shook him off.

"Shouldn't you be in there?" he asked angrily. He pointed. "She's been scared of this for months, Chief," he snapped sarcastically, forgetting himself. "You think she wants to be alone? She's only sixteen!"

He felt like he was watching himself, suddenly – there he stood, only seventeen himself, and berating his girlfriends' father publicly, in the middle of a hospital waiting room. It felt surreal, but he was on edge – and he felt like he needed to be an adult, and somehow, fighting with Jenny's father made him feel more in control.

"I know very well how old she is," the Colonel said icily. He paused for a very long moment, and then unclenched his teeth. "She does not want me with her," he said finally.

He turned sharply, walked over to a chair, and sat down stiffly – his back straight, his shoulders back, his hands clasped between his knees. He took to staring at a clock, almost ignoring Gibbs' presence.

Gibbs swore under his breath. He turned his back, gritting his teeth – at least the Colonel seemed to be hurt by that, though Gibbs didn't blame Jenny. She wouldn't want a goddamn drill sergeant at her side, looking down on her, while she did this.

Gibbs strolled over to the nurse, and cleared his throat warily.

"Can I – uh, you know anything about Jennifer Shepard?" he asked bluntly. He had not clue what he was supposed to ask, or how to phrase what he wanted. "She's having a baby," he added helpfully.

The nurse looked at a chart full of names and times, and then she peered at him.

"Family only," she said in a short, falsely cheery voice. She pointed. "Her father is right over there."

Gibbs stared at her balefully – surely she'd heard he and the Colonel taking pot shots at each other just a minute ago. He stared at her a moment, watching her kind of turn away, as if trying to shoo him away, and he leaned forward.

"Look, Ma'am," he said, trying some charm. He flashed a stuff smile. "She's having my baby," he stressed.

The woman gave him a clipped sort of judgmental nod, and pointed again to the Colonel unhelpfully, refusing anything else. Gibbs shrunk back from the counter, a narrow look on his face. He felt useless - how could he not be considered family? He turned in time to see his parents walk in – his mother gave him an encouraging smile and then walked straight over to the Colonel, and Jackson strolled up.

"How is she?" he asked neutrally.

Gibbs shrugged violently.

"Her dad won't let me back," he snapped. "Nurse won't say anything, 'm not family."

"Ah." Jackson said stiffly. "Well, no news is good news, Leroy," he said.

Gibbs looked over. His mother had taken a seat next to Jasper and was leaning close to him, talking softly. The Colonel seemed to be listening to her.

"What's she doing?" Gibbs asked curtly.

"Talkin' him off a cliff, I s'pose," Jackson snorted. "Man's got to be a wreck, she's just a baby. He's worried."

Gibbs snorted derisively.

"He doesn't care about her," he lashed out.

"Leroy," Jackson said sharply. "That man loves his daughter more than you can imagine – ah," Jackson broke off. He gave Gibbs a look. "Well. You'll understand today, I 'spect." He sighed, and glanced at the Colonel again. "You got to understand, Gibbs…this is always gonna hit her harder. Don't matter what you think, or what you do. She had the baby. Ties her closer to it than you'll ever be. You hear me?"

Gibbs shrugged. He didn't think that was true. Men could take care of babies – at least they should, if they had them. That's what he thought. He glanced at his father, wondering if that kind of thinking was why Jackson was only really involved when he was disciplining him.

"He was tryin' to raise him a girl whose only options weren't marriage, and stayin' at home – but he wanted to give her a good upbringin', too, not some sleazy city life," Jackson muttered. "This ain't ever what he wanted for her."

Gibbs considered the Colonel, vaguely unsure how Jackson knew so much about Shepard. Jasper had grown up in Stillwater, left for the Army – then come back, divorced from a small town girl in the city over who'd tried to be a dancer and ended up staying in California.

Gibbs set his jaw.

"Doesn't matter," he said finally, his voice tense. "He doesn't have to treat her like she's got no more chances."

Jackson considered his son intently, a little impressed by the comment. He started to say something, but quieted; Ann stood up, and was coming over.

"Jasper says that if Jennifer agrees, you can go back," she said to Leroy. She held out her hand, indicating he should take it and follow her to the nurses' station.

Gibbs stared, suddenly feeling small – afraid to face it. He started to reach out, but before he could commit, the same nurse who had treated him so coolly leaned forward, a phone to her ear.

"Is one of you a Gibbs?" she asked. "Jethro Gibbs?"

Gibbs leapt forward, holding up his hand. The Colonel stood up. The nurse nodded.

"One of the OBGYNs is coming to get you," she said primly, hanging up the phone. "Wait patiently, please."

"What's that mean?" Gibbs demanded immediately. He turned away from the nurse before she answered, and caught his mother's eye. "What's that mean?" he repeated.

She rubbed his arm.

"It probably means she's had the baby," she soothed.

"They came and got me, when you were born," Jackson said, slapping him on the back. "Hadn't even had time to finish a cigar."

The Colonel approached them stiffly, reaching into the pocket of his windbreaker. He pulled out a cigar case with a curious expression on his face, and nodded his head at Gibbs' father.

"What do you say we take these outside?" he asked gruffly.

Jackson looked surprised, but grinned.

"Hell, I don't mind celebratin' a granddaughter," he said, relaxing a little.

Jasper flinched slightly at the reminder, then tried to relax himself, tried to feel at least a little happiness – even if it was less than ideal, he shouldn't be darkening the mood – especially since he had no plans to treat Jenny's baby with anything less than affection.

"I asked her not to bank on that damn California ultrasound being right," muttered the Colonel.

"Wait," Gibbs said abruptly, staring between them. "Don't you want to see her? Jen?" he asked sharply. "And the baby?"

They looked at him, and he flushed a little, bristling defensively again.

"You can't refuse to see her," he said coldly. "It'll make her feel like – dirt, if you don't – "

"Leroy," Ann interrupted.

But the Colonel cut her off.

"You're that baby's father, Leroy," Jasper said bluntly. "Only person who's got a right and a responsibility to be in there's you."

Jackson nodded, and Ann cleared her throat.

"We thought you and Jenny would like a moment alone," she said. "Time to meet your baby."

Gibbs swallowed some of his pride, feeling sheepish – but he couldn't help it; he was anxious, irritated – just generally emotionally charged and edgy. How else was he supposed to feel – this was very real; very defining.

"No one's refusin' to see her," the Colonel added.

"Last person a woman wants seein' her during or right after childbirth is her father," Jackson added, arching a brow.

Ann gave Gibbs a slightly confirming nod, and Gibbs turned away, stepping towards the hospital doors when he heard them open. A middle-aged doctor in scrubs, with long blonde hair in a ponytail, was walking towards him, a calm look on her face.

"Jethro Gibbs?" she asked.

He nodded, extending his hand. She looked bemused, but she shook it – and then glanced around.

"You brought her in?" she asked, directing her gaze at Jasper. "Her father?"

He nodded.

"And you're her…?"

"Boyfriend," Gibbs muttered.

The OBGYN nodded. She rubbed her hands on her scrub pants and wasted no time.

"Well, she's fine – she did great, no complications. Mom and baby are healthy," the doctor told them smoothly. "You, Mr. Gibbs, have got yourself a lovely baby girl."

Gibbs stared at her – it wasn't shock; he was prepared for there to be a baby, prepared for it to be a girl, even – he just had never imagined himself hearing those words when three hours before he'd been making a paper airplane in trigonometry.

The feeling of his father slapping him on the back jolted him back to reality – and he, in a moment of unexpected excitement, broke into a smug grin. He turned and glanced at his mother, who beamed at him. Jackson even ran a congratulatory hand over his son's shoulder – and last but not least, the Colonel gave a short, careful nod.

Still grinning, Gibbs turned back, raising his brows.

"Can I – ?"

"Yes," the doctor said, reading his mind. "She wanted to be moved first, and cleaned up, but I can take you to her."

Gibbs started forward, and the Colonel opened his mouth.

"She's only asked me to see Jethro," the doctor said firmly, cutting him off. "I'll have a nurse let the rest of you know – I think the ordeal has been overwhelming for her."

Jackson laughed good-naturedly at that, and Gibbs allowed himself to be swept away – down immaculate white hallways that smelled like antiseptic and plastic, around corners, through doors – past, even, a clear window that looked into the nursery – until the doctor stopped him outside of a room and smiled at him.

"I know how hard this is going to be," she said kindly. She gave him a small wink. "Try to take a moment to just enjoy the baby," she advised.

Gibbs swallowed hard, and nodded. The doctor slipped away, and he was still standing at the door, knowing that the moment he opened it, he was stepping into some yet unfathomable life with Jen. He steeled himself for it, tried to prepare himself for it, and then he went in, and he quickly turned to shut the door.

Jenny was sitting up in bed – not just sitting, propped up tiredly on pillows like most women on television were after they had babies, but sitting up, her legs crossed, with pillows behind her. She looked up when he came in and smiled at him – her hair was loose, tangled, and a little damp, and she looked red-eyed and pale – but somehow, he thought she looked prettier than he'd ever seen her.

He came to stand by the bed, and she shifted towards him, lifting her arms.

"It is a girl," Jenny said breathlessly. "She's seven pounds – and she's warm," she said quickly.

He stared down at the bundle of pink blankets in Jenny's arms, the tiny sleeping face. He couldn't look away – her eyes weren't even open, and her skin was so pink and fragile – one little fist was curled near her chest.

"Sit down, Jethro," Jenny said, patting the bed. "It's okay – she doesn't cry very loud, yet, its little high-pitched sounds," she told him earnestly. "Sit," she said again.

He sat down gingerly, afraid he'd shake her – hurt one of them. He moved closer, resting his hand on Jenny's knee, and he leaned in, getting a better look. He swallowed hard.

"She's small," he said hoarsely, finally finding his voice. He reached out, and then pulled his hand back and just rested it on his leg.

Jenny tilted her head, holding her closer to her chest.

"She's perfect," Jenny murmured softly. She smiled slowly, and looked up. "I named her Natalie," she told him. "Nat."

Gibbs smiled at her, and nodded. Jenny arched her brows anxiously.

"You pick her middle name," she encouraged.

Gibbs frowned, giving her a look.

"I'll screw it up," he muttered.

"You can't screw up a name, Jethro," Jenny said.

He tried to think quickly – he hadn't really thought about it at all, because he'd assumed she'd just pick the name, no matter what she'd said. He tried to think of names for girls – he knew his mother's name, but he also knew his mother hated her name, so he didn't pick that – Jenny didn't like her mother much, so he didn't choose that – and then, he only knew girls at school, or the pin-up women of the day, so he tried to think of something more unique.

"Winter," he grunted finally.

Jenny tilted her head. She looked at him a long time.

"Winter?" she repeated. "Why - ?

Gibbs shrugged.

"'Cause, it's cold out," he said, smirking.

She gave him a funny look, and then leaned over.

"Winter doesn't actually start until December," she whispered.

Gibbs shrugged at her, and looked down.

"I like it," he muttered. "November feels like winter," he added defensively.

Jenny looked down at her baby. She smiled – she even felt like laughing a little. She should have known Gibbs would come up with something like that – and she didn't hate it.

"Okay," she agreed softly. "Natalie Winter."

Gibbs was quiet a little longer.

"Gibbs," he added assertively.

Jenny nodded. That was fine, too. She didn't have any love for her last name – and she loved Gibbs, so she had no problem being traditional. She smiled again, and then shifted closer.

"You want to hold her?" she asked carefully.

Gibbs sat up a little straighter, swallowing hard – he did, he really did, and he hadn't realized how much until she offered. He nodded quickly, and reached out hesitantly.

"You won't hurt her," Jenny comforted matter-of-factly. "She'll fit perfectly – and just support her head."

In the next moment, Natalie was in his arms, and he was sitting there looking down at a tiny thing that – he was responsible for, he and Jenny. For the rest of their lives, they had her to worry about, and her to take care of – and she was so little, and so breakable, and so dependent.

Gibbs swallowed hard, adjusting his arms more protectively. He looked at her, and he didn't feel like he'd made such a mistake anymore. Too early, maybe, and too young, definitely, but while he felt like he had a lot to learn, he wanted to do it – seeing her, holding her, made everything feel different; it was still scary, and still hard to comprehend, but it felt real – and when he had focus, when he had purpose, he found confidence.

He smirked, and looked up at Jenny. She smiled at him, her tongue caught between her teeth.

"It won't be so bad," she said lightly.

He shook his head, swallowing hard. He looked back down at Natalie, and Jenny moved closer, snuggling up to his arm, and reaching down to uncurl the baby's fingers, and hold her daughter's hand.

She rested her head against Gibbs' shoulder comfortably, and felt him breathing – it made her feel stronger, like she wasn't alone – she knew she was inundated with endorphins at the moment, and she was experiencing a lot of intense emotions she hadn't at all expected, but she felt optimistic, and for the first time in a while, she didn't think she was so doomed – and she clung to that, and to this moment of happiness, because she still didn't want to think that her whole life was going to be stuck in Stillwater – though now, it wasn't just about getting herself out of the small town, it was about making sure she and Jethro could get Natalie out.


"Young and wild, like they said we should've never been
and still a child, filling those nights with grown up sin."
-Eric Church; Young and Wild


-the feedback on last chapter was super awesome guys, i'd really appreciate if you kept it up!
-alexandra :)