OH MY GOD. OK, I want to say thanks to everyone that reviewed this story and... well I can't describe what I felt when I read every comment. You're awesome! I want you to know that I consider every advice that you've given to me and that's why I've decided that this story won't be g!p, I'll write one, don't worry ;) Hope I didn't screw this story with this chapter lol. I'll be waiting for your review! Thanks again!
All mistake are mine, ups.
I can hear you knocking at the front door
And I know exactly what you came for
Try to say goodbye but it's hot and heavy
Try to say goodbye but it's hot and heavy
You hate it. You hate knowing that it could be your last night with Santana, you hate the way that this is happening. You hate Brittany for ruining your life. You hate everything but your lover-best friend. And maybe, you should hate her, you think, because you're not sane at all. You don't even have a real life, because you should be happy like every girl should be in her twenties… but here you are, trying to not let your heart crash in pieces in front of Santana… and you hate her right now. You want to ask her if she really doesn't see how she's playing with your heart, but you're scared. Yeah, you're fuckin' scared because her answer could be 'I'm sorry, I didn't know you wanted more than this' and you know if that happened… you'll live the rest of your life with those words torturing you. And that's not life.
So, you swallow all the things you want to shout at her and start to kiss her angrily and Santana lets you do whatever you want. 'Maybe she does know', you think but it doesn't matter because that ring is telling you that she's chosen another blond before you, so –
You grab her hand hysterically and Santana tries to break the kiss to ask you what are you doing but you keep kissing her with your eyes closed because you don't want to see how beautiful that ring could be. When you remove the ring you immediately threw it away and you grab her face sharply so you can kiss her passionately. You felt for a second that Santana wanted to complain about what you did, but she didn't. And you don't know how to feel about that reaction. Is she being respectful or is she feeling sorry for you? A bit of both, perhaps. And, well… you feel sorry for you too.
Your head is piercing you by telling you that you should stop this and talk to her, to confess your feelings, to demand what she wants from you–
But you can't.
You don't do this feelings thing and the Latina either, so you shut your mind off and start to take her clothes off. You want to give her the best last night of her life and you know you only have this night to show her that you belong to her and she… she should belong to you and not to Brittany.
"Quinn –", you already know what she's going to say. You know that she's going to stop this and say goodbye, but you can't let that happen right now. You won't let her say those words, so you pushed her towards your bed and straddle her so you can kiss her furiously and you managed to stop her talking, but, then… her smooth hands grab your face and her eyes melt in yours. You can see the sadness in those chocolate eyes, you want to ask her why she's feeling like this. If she doesn't want this to end or to leave you, but when she gives you the saddest smile you've ever seen … you understand her somehow.
"I know", you whisper against her lips and she leans forward to kiss you so slowly that it almost kills you inside. She's not saying goodbye to you verbally but she does it through her loving actions. Yes, this time she has the courage to prove that whatever this thing is, it means something to her and you can't control how your heart and you open yourself to her once again. Your heart misses a beat when she looks at you like you're a fallen angel from heaven who came to save her from her meaningless life.
If there's one thing we all want it's to feel loved, and you want to feel deeply connected to someone, fully seen and appreciated by that person, and secure in that relationship.' Is that so hard? Am I asking too much?' you always ask yourself and God before you close your eyes to sleep at night.
You say you love Santana, of course you do. You love her with all your heart and you swear that you've never felt like that before and that's why you say you love her, but… they say that the first step to having a close relationship starts with meaningful, engaged conversations. They just need to be honest, authentic, and reciprocal. You simply have to ask about the other person, fully listening to what they have to say, and then finding common ground. So… how can you say that you love her if every time Santana comes to see you, you do everything but talk? You think that maybe you're that kind of 'non-couple' that don't need words to understand each other. You've always managed to read what your eyes are trying to say to each other. Maybe you're that close? You don't really know and you won't ask her that.
"I know", you repeat, kissing her lips once more. This time, she kisses you deeper and more passionately and you can't help but moan into the kiss as Santana forces her tongue into your mouth. Then you feel the Latina break the kiss, "Quinn I–", and you don't want to hear it. You don't want to hear whatever she has to say. You can't. You're so fucking terrified that she's going to tell you she can't do this, or she feels like shit for doing this to her future wife … you're scared that maybe you'll hear those three fucking words that you've waited so long to hear from her lips, because, what would you do if she said that? You know that she won't leave Brittany for you and that's why you can't listen to her say that, because you will never be happy living in a world without her. If she's going to say those words, she has to be single and able to promise you that she'll be yours forever. But she's not.
So, you closed your eyes and shut her up by kissing her. The brunette gives in and lays on top of you and starts to trail kisses down your neck as she slowly takes your clothes off. This is the first time you feel like she's taking her time with you, like she's going to make love to you in slow motion and it's too much for you. You can't help but let some tears fall down your cheeks, and suddenly she's kissing them away as you start to shake uncontrollably. You thought you could hide your emotions but you've failed. You can't open your eyes because you're afraid that she would look through you and realize that you love her –although you think she already knows– and that's why she put her forehead against yours and both of you are breathing the same air. You can't stop shaking. It's like your body is convulsing all your hiding feelings and you've never felt that vulnerable before. It's horrible. You hate feeling like this and you hate even more that Santana knows how this is affecting you now. Then you feel kisses all over your face until those puffy and delicious lips are demanding attention from your lips. So you open your mouth and welcome her tongue. It's when the both of you are kissing like that, that you feel your head spinning and your skin burning beneath her fingers. You half-open your eyes to find out that Santana's eyes are closed too, and you can't explain how unbelievable that feels, because it's seems like you don't need communication, you just feel each other. After three seconds, the brunette opens her eyes and you've never been watched like that. You were used to Santana looking at you hungrily, not like you're the most precious thing in this world, or like… she loves you. You feel like you're about to explode and she kisses you again, you gasp, you let her hands travel down your naked body and you want more. You want her to take you, to make you hers, but she's taking her time with you. She's so soft, so sexy, so beautiful...
You feel her hips press down and your back arch when you feel that exotic pressure. She attacks your sweet spot on your neck again and you moaned loudly this time. You close your eyes so you can feel her flicking her wet tongue against your hardened nipple and her mouth enclosing around it so she could suck on it. You guide your hand to the back of her neck so you can press her harder into your chest. You love all the things Santana does with her tongue.
You grab her perfect ass and she moans against your breast. The air in your room has changed and you need to feel her inside you, but the Latina ignores you and maintains her rhythm. You start to play with her hair anxiously when you feel her fingers stroking inward and up the inside of your trembling thighs. You are breathing so hard, you can see your stomach's movements every time her fingers touch your skin and it's driving you mad. She lifts her head to look at you so deep and you know she can hear how your heart is beating so loud and so excited –like you hear hers– and then she kissed you as if there was no tomorrow and the next thing you feel is her fingers running along the length of yours and–
You know you're so wet and so warm and that's why Santana groans against your lips. You press your fingers on her cheeks because, well, it's so hot and you can already feel the pressure building in your stomach, although she didn't do anything yet. She continues kissing you as she draws circles and presses on your entrance. You have to break the kiss at that, because you are going to yell at her for being so–
"Ugh Santana", you can't help but pant against her ear, you can hardly focus in what you're saying because her magical fingers cause that in you. You could swear you heard a 'god' escape from Santana's mouth but you're not really sure. Your hands snap back to her hips when she bites your neck, your hips are jerking into hers meeting her fingers as they move inside of you so slowly and every time she enters you, she's so deep and hits that spongy spot that makes your legs shake and your head fall back on your pillow with your mouth wide open.
"You're so–", you know what she's going to say and it breaks you when she doesn't finish it. You push away what your mind is trying to tell you and you nudge your nose against her cheek because you want to feel her as close as possible.
It's ironic that you feel so complete when you are with her in this way but you can't feel utterly heartbroken at the same time, because, well… this is–
You can't say it or think about it.
So, you bring your hand between your bodies and start to guide it down her stomach. You can feel how ready she is, how wet she is for you as she grinds forward. You enter her and you can't help but clench around her fingers because it always feels amazing being inside her.
"Fuck, Quinn", she moans and then she flicks her tongue against your bottom lip in the way she knows you love and drives you crazy. Your hands travel around her back, squeezing the flesh, trying to speed up the movements, and you win.
"Fuck!," you're kissing wildly and sloppy as you can feel both of your bodies starting to shudder, knees giving out, trying to maintain and deepen the rocking motion you two had set. Your hot, heavy and shaky breathe mixes with hers and you can feel it coming.
"Quinn- ugh look at me baby, open your eyes ", and you obey her, your hazel eyes fuse with brown and you read those loving words in them. You feel your heart expanding so much like it's going to explode when you see that she's going to confess that to you.
But you can't let that happen. You couldn't take it.
So you lean forward and kiss her hard and curve your fingers inside her once, twice as you rock your hips faster. You bite her bottom lip so hard when you start to feel you're coming and curl your fingers around her jaw. Your orgasm hits you like a train when you feel her walls clench around you so hard that you're afraid that it would break your fingers.
And the next thing you remember was her body laying down on you exhausted.
…
..
.
The time has arrived, and you try your best to not break into tears against your apartment door once you saw her leaving your place.
You didn't talk, you didn't demand anything because…what was the point? None. You weren't a couple, you weren't anything. So, she set you free and you didn't have another choice than to do the same.
You couldn't contain the massive pain that was expanding in your chest, so the first thing you did when you closed that door was to find anything to drink away the pain.
Maybe, the best thing you could do was to go into an alcoholic coma, so that way you couldn't suffer anymore. But when you started to drink, you heard someone knocking on your door. 'Could it be Santana? Maybe she regretted it and she chose me!' your mind was screaming hysterically as you run to open the door. You could already imagine how high you would jump straight into her arms and the countless times you would say 'I love you' to her against her lips and–
"Rough night?"
And none of the things that you've imagined would happen because the person that was standing in front of you was the one and only Brittany Pierce.
