When he woke up, Hitsugaya wasn't surprised to find himself lying on a bed. He remembered falling. Either that or he had shrunk to Yachiru's size, making the floor seem closer than usual. Hitsugaya prayed that never happened. He had enough trouble as it was.
The 10th division captain sat up, grateful that his head didn't hurt anymore. Must be Unohana-taichou, he thought.
The white-haired shinigami wondered if it was Matsumoto who brought him in. It was most likely her. He recalled a vague memory of talking with her about something. Probably about her drinking habits. He just hoped no one saw him being carried to the 4th division. Or whichever way he had come. He needed respect and support more than ever; he couldn't afford to lose that. He didn't want to hear their versions of what happened.
The door to Hitsugaya's ward opened, revealing a 4th division vice captain.
"How are you feeling Hitsugaya-taichou?" Isane asked. Hitsugaya watched the tall shinigami approach him timidly with tea. It was rare to see her tending to a patient. She usually did more critical work with Unohana. Bending down considerably, she set the tray in front of the captain, waiting for an answer.
"Fine." Hitsugaya grunted. It was somehow always embarrassing to come to the 4th division; he wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. He licked his parched lips while Isane poured him therapeutic tea.
"That's a relief." Isane knew the captain disliked visits to the 4th division; she kept her answer short, afraid of some unknown hissy fit that a long answer may bring. "Unohana-taichou will be with you shortly." She bowed before going out just as timidly as she came in.
Turning to the tea, Hitsugaya contemplated the large mug before bringing it to his lips to drink. Though he tasted it rarely, Hitsugaya adored Unohana's tea. Although he wouldn't admit it readily; he found it contradictory to his personal statement that he disliked going to the 4th division.
The short patient sighed as he felt the tea working to relax his body; he hadn't felt this relaxed since… forever. Waking up early today didn't help either, he thought. He then noticed a glimmer of sunshine coming through the window to his right. He sighed again, but this time with frustration. Yesterday morning, he corrected himself. He had slept through the night without finishing paperwork. He would regret that when he got back to the office.
Just when he began to formulate a plan to catch up, the captain of the 4th division herself came in.
"Hitsugaya-taichou." Unohana said, her eyes smiling. Hitsugaya craned his head slightly higher than when looking at Matsumoto. Unohana always had a motherly quality about her, or so he felt. Not that he thought of her as a mother. Just more of a gentle figure representing a mother.
"Unohana-taichou." Hitsugaya said as a greeting. They both nodded in acknowledgment.
Unohana moved a little ways to pull a stool to Hitsugaya from the far wall to sit beside him. She had no medical equipment and young patient knew she needed none.
"Are you feeling better Hitsugaya-taichou?" The fourth division captain smiled reassuringly at him. It did nothing to 'reassure' her current patient; he needed no reassurance.
"Hai." He answered stiffly. He hoped his slightly crackly voice wouldn't betray him.
Unohana merely nodded in understanding. "It seems you had a migraine and a fainting spell."
She watched as white eyebrows made themselves to a frown. Unconsciously, his mouth formed a small pout. The woman inside her wished to chuckle. It was not short of adorable. But the captain inside of her held her back; she had to do her job and show her respect to the young captain.
"Unohana-taichou, who brought me in?" The healer woke from her small reverie to once again face the serious boy. She smiled before answering.
"Your vice-captain. She was quite concerned too."
She watched as his eye wandered as if he was in deep thought. Whatever he was thinking of, he dropped the subject and opted to drink his tea instead. She had no idea that he was thinking of asking whether he had been carried in or not.
"Hitsugaya-taichou."
The said captain looked up, his green orbs questioning the healer's intentions.
Her serene face serious, Unohana held his gaze. "Did you happen to remember anything?"
Taken aback, Hitsugaya suppressed a shudder crawling up his spine. Red on white. That's all I remember. Keeping his face straight, he stared back defiantly.
"No."
The healer said nothing, her serene air disappearing fast. Hitsugaya didn't flinch. Silence lay between them heavily.
"I see."
Unohana stood up, pushing her stool to the wall. "I will return later on in the day. In the meantime, please rest. I will have someone bring up a book for you if you would like."
"Please do."
Having done her duty, or part of it, Unohana nodded politely before closing the door.
You lied. Hyourinmaru said as soon as the door closed. Hitsugaya put aside the tea on the night stand beside him.
No. I just didn't want someone involved in private affairs.
That is a poor excuse Toushirou.
Hitsugaya paused. He couldn't remember the last time Hyourinmaru called him by his first name. The name seemed so far away; hardly anyone used it anymore. He felt bitterness rise in his mouth.
Reaching for help is not cowardly. Even a dragon cannot do things by himself sometimes.
Hitsugaya sighed. Hyourinmaru had decided to be talkative today of all days. It wasn't as if he didn't like the zanpakutou. That would be ridiculous. He just wished Hyourinmaru wasn't right all the time.
Sensing his frustration, Hyounrinmaru withdrew, leaving an icy chill in the air.
He was alone now. Setting aside the tea tray, he hopped down from the bed; he didn't feel like sitting and doing nothing. Running his hand through his hair, he approached the window slowly. Water gently flowing into a pond could be heard though not seen. He wished he could just sit and listen to that. But now wasn't the time for that. He needed to contemplate the sudden memory he had: the red on white.
He was sure it was a memory. He didn't believe in visions and the scene in his mind was so clear. Like something he had known a long time ago. He couldn't put it in another way.
But why now?
Hitsugaya couldn't recall having done anything that would cause sudden recollections. Or… no... Nothing. It felt like a conspiracy but what good would a conspiracy against him do now? The biggest blow had been Aizen's betrayal. It wouldn't do any good to kick an enemy while they were still down. Aizen probably wanted the satisfaction of destroying Soul Society in its full strength.
He leaned against the window. Someone else had stood beside a window too while talking to another person. Wearing funny clothes from the human world.
His green eyes widened as he realized he had remembered yet another event. This time he had a clue: the human world.
Hitsugaya immediately tried to remember anything that had happened the few time he had been sent to the human world. But the times he had gone… none of them had windows like the one he was looking for. Then again, it was silly to base everything around a window.
Tip-toeing slightly, he peeked out the window. Just as he suspected, a garden came into view. He narrowed his eyes as the plants moved in and out of his focus. The young captain rubbed his eyes with his right hand, allowing the back of his head to connect to the wall.
Accompanied by the soft thud of his head hitting the wall, memories flooded in. A father, a mother, a sister, family, house, photo, everything. His life. He was seeing his life. And his head was going to crack from the pressure!
Cradling his head in his hands, he breathed heavily. No one was there. Not even Hyourinmaru. No one could help him.
I don't understand…
A lily for the death of an innocent.
