Chapter 2

St. John has run out on a lot of things in his life, and he doesn't regret very many of them. He doesn't regret leaving the Mansion to go with Magneto. He wouldn't go back in time and stop himself from leaving his home and heading for the city. He's never once thought about cursing the day he blew up the cop cars at Bobby's house. John just isn't programmed to feel remorse for things like that. They were good decisions. The pros outweighed the cons and he did what he had to do. If John's feels bad about anything, it's running out on Bobby.

And maybe "running out" is even too strong a description. Bobby and he were just friends, after all. Best friends. But that's it. And in the scheme of things, the really big scheme of things, what the hell does that matter anyway?

A club isn't really the place one would probably come to philosophize. But John thinks best when he's in a place that's hotter than he is, that's moving faster, that's more alive. He can watch life pass him by and think about his own. 'Cause John's real problem is that he wants to fade into the crowd; he wants to be just another face, but he never can. He knows that. Even among the mutants at the Mansion he stuck out. He was a little too hard-edged, too much attitude and not enough control. He walked the line too closely for anyone not to wonder whether he'd cross it. And now that he had, well, there wasn't really any going back. John knew that he never would have fit in there. So somewhere along the way he decided that if he was going to stick out, then he was going to stick out, damn it. They'd all pay attention to how different he was.

He's obsessed with his lighter, he knows. Another odd little quirk. You'd have to pry this thing out of his cold dead fingers to get it away from him. Not a nice idea, but there's truth to it. Johnny doesn't get real attached to most things. Not that he doesn't like stuff, because, yeah, he likes his PS2, his computer, his clothes; but he could live without them. Not that living without clothes would be all that fun. And he is a bit of a computer junkie, he admits. But if he really, really had to... the point is, he could. His lighter? He freaks out when he steps out the front door and realizes that he forgot it on the bedside table that morning. Because John's other problem is once he finds something he really likes, once he gets attached to something, he won't let it go. Ever. That's why he never got into a relationship with anyone, not even the stupid goofy relationships of adolescence. Because it takes something incredibly amazing to make an impression on him, and once it does, he's sunk. Completely and totally sunk. He's too afraid that he'll end up mating for life. Like a fucking wolf or something. Or maybe that was penguins. Stupid animals. He never did pay too much attention in biology. And are his inner voices are rambling? Could be. Yeah. Kinda. He tries not to pay too much attention. Philosophy was never an exact science.

So St. John was just stumbling through life with his lighter, the lone wolf or the lone penguin or whatever, and then Bobby happened. And whoa, did Bobby happen. It was really weird too, because John can remember a time that Bobby was just a blip on the radar screen. John didn't even know his name. Bobby was the kid with the blue eyes, the ice boy, blondie. Jubes was more John's style because Jubes was the only other street kid around. Bobby and Kitty and the rest were still under the impression they were more or less normal, while Jubilee and John knew better. Of course, then came the fateful day John and Bobby became roomies. And if Bobby was still a blip at that point, at least he was a large and well-known blip. And then they'd started to hang out. 'Cause Bobby was fun to be around, even if he did walk about in a huge cloud of denial.

And things gradually snuck up on him, which was weirder still, because things just don't sneak up on St. John Allerdyce. Because at first, there was a time John didn't know about Bobby's addiction to ice cream. Then there was a time they'd hang out and watch movies together, followed by a time where John didn't go anywhere or do much of anything without Bobby. After which there was a piss-in-your-pants frightening time where Bobby was the exclusive star of John's fantasies and wet dreams. A time where whenever John got close to Bobby, he wanted to lean in and grab him, just snake his hands through Bobby's hair and kiss him senseless.

Chances are John never would have done that. Once Rogue arrived, the chances were smaller still. And when he left with Magneto, he blew any chance he had right out of the fucking water.

So. That's pretty much the summery of John's messed-up life. The high points, anyway, or perhaps it's the low points. Whatever. John's philosophy on life? Life is a bitch. Sometimes she's on your side, sometimes not, but she always screws you over in the end.

And John sighs quietly before throwing himself back into the writhing mass of bodies on the dance floor. He flirts shamelessly and dances boldly, accepting with good grace that he'll leave with some blonde-haired, blue- eyed boy. He doesn't know why he bothers. They're never Bobby and they can't be. So, when John catches a glimpse of blue eyes in a tanned face, he works his way through the crowd towards them, smiling wryly. But then the boy reaches out his hand and touches John's face. A cold hand, which is strange enough in a place packed full of sweaty bodies like this, but this hand is cold, like someone who just came out a winter storm. Cold as ice. Cold as only one person in the world is cold.

"Bobby...?"

And chances are Bobby can't hear him above the roar of the music, but he smiles and nods anyway. Yep. Same old Bobby. Though, to be truthful, John doesn't really remember Bobby as the type to go clubbing. And he never wore his pants that tight before. John's pretty sure of that. But that's not really the important thing here, as much as John wants it to be. Bobby's here. Here. In the middle of a dance floor of a club, far, far away from the Mansion. And John isn't sure why he's here exactly, but he thinks that's the important thing. One thing John is sure of is that he won't regret this. He's not going to let himself.


Reviewers will be given nekkid St. Johns and Bobbys. A maybe a Logan and Scott or two...