He snorted. "That isn't surprising. But-" He scrunched his face up cutely. "I don't drink."

She ran her fingers through her strawberry blonde waves. "Anou…this time, you did. But you didn't mean to. It was an accident-"

He raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Just HOW do you accidentally drink sake?"

Matsumoto sighed, getting frustrated. Why did he have to keep interrupting her? Admitting it was hard enough already! "That's what I'm TRYING to tell you!" She settled herself further on the bed, her thigh brushing against his side. "I was out doing…doing- doing an errand!- " He snorted again, knowing this was Matsumoto code for chatting with other officers. "While you did the paperwork, and I'd left my teacup on my desk, only that wasn't tea in it-"

He could see where this was going. "Teacups are for tea. Tea. And you're not supposed to drink on the clock!" Hitsugaya pursed his pink lips. Was there no end to her sneakiness? Of course not- this was Matsumoto. A woman who lacked modesty and whose priorities were even more screwed up than her brain. Sake and sleeping were at the top, paperwork and being on time on the bottom.

"That's the whole point!" She exclaimed, throwing her arms up in exclamation, then frowned. Crap. Back to the drawing board- cute, grumpy Shiro-chan was onto that trail now. Ah, time to forge ahead and blaze new ones! Err…soon as he got better…well, soon as she thawed out after he froze her…

"That way, you wouldn't know." A muscle twitched, and she recklessly plunged on. "Anyway, I came back and you were pretty sloshed. I mean, it wasn't much- I wouldn't even get a buzz off it. Then again, you're too young to drink and you're body's much smaller than mine- sorry, Toushiro-taichou, but it's true- And you looked SO cute with your hair all messed up and uniform askew. Quite becoming, taichou. Wish I could see you like that more often. Preferably in my bed-"

"MATSUMOTO!!" His entire face turned crimson.

She grinned cheekily. "Yes, taichou?"

"Finish your explanation, and get your mind out of the gutter, you hentai!"

"Oh, alright. You're no fun." She sounded disappointed. "So, anyhow, you went to throw up, but before I could catch you, you tripped on-on…" She broke into a fit of giggles.

"On what?" He was really starting to loose his patience.

"On your own feet!" He blanched. "You're as clumsy drunk as you are graceful sober. Anyhoos, you twisted your ankle when you fell, and hit your head off the toilet." She snickered.

He wanted to die. Well, die again, that is. He prayed for the ground to open up and swallow him. He groaned and buried his face in his petite hands. He was never going to live this down. The great Hitsugaya, child prodigy, supposed reincarnation of a Heavenly Guardian, a Celestial Being, defeated by a toilet.

"It was a particularly vicious commode, sir, and you weren't in full form. You could barely stand, and the evil porcelain attacked out of nowhere." She tittered in mock-sympathy, patting his arm.

Crap! He'd said that out loud! Hitsugaya pulled the pillow over his head. He was going to suffocate himself. Laughing, Matsumoto pulled the pillow away before he really did. Stubborn brat. He glared at her, well, more at the titanic-sized tits being shoved in his face. She smiled, leaned down, and gave his nose a soft peck. He blushed and she suppressed a squeal- he as beyond adorable, and she had him in her bed, all to herself.

She continued with her tale- it wasn't even at the good part yet. "You were unconscious, so I took you to Unohana-taichou, who, by the way, gave me a stern lecture-" Here he smirked as if to say, 'good'. "And, well, cuz of your concussion, you couldn't be left unattended; too easy to slip into a coma. So she left you under my watch. You lay on the couch while I did paperwork ALL day."

Her tone grew pitiful, as if searching for sympathy because, for once, SHE got stuck with all of the tedious paperwork. Hah! Fat chance of him feeling sorry for her. In fact, he regretted not being conscious to enjoy it. See how she liked it when the tables were turned! He smiled like a cat full of cream, and the room slowly warmed back up.

"Then it was evening, and the paperwork STILL wasn't done, but Renji and Kira were going out for a nightcap and invited me. Then Yachiru burst in, running from Yumichika, who said that since he was keeping an eye on her while Zaraki-taichou was out, he'd watch you too for a bit."

His smile quickly turned into a scowl. "I believe the term he used was 'baby sit'. " Hitsugaya groused. "And that still doesn't explain this!" He gestured angrily at the pretty yukata.

Matsumoto snickered. "Thank Hinamori for that- it's her yukata." He paled visibly. "Yumichika was painting Yachiru's nails when she got the idea to make you feel better. So, she painted your nails. And Yumichika declared you looked like a little ghost with your white hair, white skin, and that white yukata. That's when Hinamori came in to get your opinion on which kimono she should wear for her dinner-date with Aizen-taichou. Yachiru asked for her help making you look.." Snicker. "..pretty. So in exchange for her help, Yumichika did her hair and Hinamori gave them an old yukata that she'd outgrown. Though, it's a bit big on you-"

"YOU'RE ALL INSANE!!!" Hitsugaya howled in rage, air chilling rapidly as his reiatsu gathered.

"Aw, taichou, it's not that bad-"

"I'm a boy! B-O-Y! In a girl's yukata!!"

"But you're adorable-"

"I'm not a cross-dressing, fairy peacock!!"

"Oi, can't ya keep it down, Ran-chan? Some of us, unlike you, DO work." Both heads swiveled to the door at the cool, oddly accented voice that belonged to an even odder man.

Tbc….

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