Chapter 1. During Pregnancy
To fully bring your child up in a household supporting the Dark Arts, you must start even before you can even see the little brat who doesn't deserve to have a likeness of you. Some ways to do this are listed below, although I encourage you to think of your own also, in order to give your child a head start against any one else who might also be reading this for their child. Competition always helps out for your part if you break the rules!
One way to first introduce your child to the Dark Arts is to practice curses, preferably Unforgivable ones, while you are carrying the child, in order for them to feel the magnitude of power that you are wielding while you do this. This will also provide them with motivational and leadership skills later on, as they can stretch the truth during annual Death Eater rallies by announcing that they had been doing the Cruciatus Curse since before they were born.
Another way to enhance your child's powers is to brew and drink a variety of different potions. Some suggestions are anti-poison potions, which could help them be immune to certain curses or hexes later on in their life lest they be in a duel with Ministry wizards, Order members, or just anyone they happen to tick off, skele-gro to keep their bones strong and agile so they can have the upper hand in a Muggle fight, although I hope they would never have to stoop that low and could find something to hex them with behind their back instead, or a wit-sharpening potion, to hopefully cause them to bypass stages of utterly annoying baby talk. However, I advise you NOT to consume any invigorating potions while you are with child, as you will regret it once they reach their toddler stages. Aging potions also will not help the child develop faster, and will only result in your becoming more elderly and less capable of serving the Dark Lord, let alone raising one of his future servants right.
Also, you must also do the necessary things to prepare for the hideous creature's entering the world, such as setting up a certain room for them, which may also serve as a punishment room for them later on in life and will be discussed in upcoming chapters, buying special foods, as the worthless excuse for a wizard does not have the intellect past a flobberworm and must be force-fed foods day in and day out, and various other things to help tend to their every unfortunate whim. Don't be alarmed, you will only need to do this for a very short period of time before you can kick them on their own and continue with your normal life (even less time if you are an exceptionally good brewer of wit-sharpening potions.).
Some further Do's and Do Not's during this stage include
DO: keep your house moderately dark to encourage full meaning of the word 'dark' and to allow your being to embrace it from the moment they are brought to live under your household.
DO NOT: buy any special papers for your child's walls at this time, as this will promote their thinking outside the box and may lead to a dangerous place.
DO: take the time to abolish anything pertaining to the Muggle world you may have obtained perhaps from dull-witted coworkers or from Muggle-loving "friends" whom you have already promised not to see or hear from again if you refer back to the introduction
DO NOT: talk 'baby-talk' to it, as this will only lower yours and their IQs, leaving them less brain capacity to learn everything you are about to train them for, and also giving other hopeful inner-circle prospectives a better chance than yours.
DO: purchase a barred crib for the repulsive creature, in order to prepare it to practice ways of escaping once it ages and to teach it to go against their instincts or 'conscience' and break rules at an early age.
DO NOT: acquire any stuffed effigies of Billywigs, Fairys, Fwoopers, or any other sort of creature that could possibly fall under the category of 'fluffy' or 'cute'. This will distract the worthless slobbering infant and lead it down dangerous paths. If you feel you must own a plush or figurine of some sorts of a creature, consider an Acromantula, Chimaera, or Quintaped. I believe they can be found in your nearest Dark Arts Knick Knack shop, such as Borgin and Burkes.
DO: Force or Imperius your spouse to help you make necessary preparations for the little idiot in order to ensure that you re not the only one with this horrible yet eventually rewarding job. You shouldn't have to be the only one who must suffer on their behalf!
