*Thanks to everyone who has given me kind and motivating words, so far. I know the movie made a mess of mistakes, so with a lot of things I'm just having to suspend disbelief and work through them as if such flaws can ever be completely overturned. The most prominent character flaws pertain to Gladys so it's really hard to overcome her spying days. Gladys has always been dear to me and I know her so well that the spying is sort of inexcusable. The writers had her do the same bad thing twice and both times it made absolutely no sense. Trying to fix inconsistencies in character development is almost impossible because you can't take back public mistakes like that. You'd have to completely rewrite history and that would take a loooooooooooooong time. Honestly, I'll think about it but I can't see having the time to start over from the beginning of season two. So for now, I'm brushing over some things while addressing others.*
Fallout Shelter: Chapter Two
The drive was peaceful but not for all of them. There were no bumps or conflicts but Betty cried silently with her eyes peering away where her friends couldn't see. Kate purposely kept a quiet mind, as quiet as she was able. And Gladys hated the silence, hated the empty space in need of words and explanations. She drove her car rather swiftly, stopping only slightly at each sign. The hour was late and the streets nearly empty.
When they got close, Betty signaled Gladys to turn until they were all there on Betty's street.
"Last one, just there." Betty said, it was the house nearest the woods.
"Oh, Betty. It's beautiful." Gladys said. It had to be beautiful and it was beautiful, to all three of them, all at once.
When Gladys pulled into the drive it felt right. She parked and waited, wanting to be inside.
Kate got out quickly and opened Betty's car door.
"Come on," She said, offering her hands for Betty to take. Betty took them. It felt good to Kate, to have Betty in her grasp.
Taking pains to be careful, Kate slipped a hand behind Betty's waist and held at her side while they walked. "Do you hurt?" Kate asked.
"Everywhere." Betty admitted.
In the meantime Gladys stared on, fully aware that the two might want to be alone. When her friends passed her together on the drive she wondered painstakingly if maybe she should just go.
"You comin' princess?" Betty asked.
"Of course." Gladys smiled. Of course there is a place for her here, even today.
Inside the house, it smelled fresh to their deprived noses. Kate had brought Betty flowers after work, earlier in the day. The two of them traveled together to the wake. It was the worst of days really.
"Sorry I've been such a mess." Betty mumbled to Kate, seeing a perplexed expression cross her face once inside of the house.
"Don't be, please." Kate hadn't quite found a way to talk to Betty McRae. So many things just needed to be said and she was ready for them now, ready for it all.
"I can't believe it's yours, Betts. It's a dream. A whole house!" Gladys walked before them and touched at the walls. "Your wall," She smiled and moved to the table that Lorna had brought with Bob earlier in the day, before the wake. "Your table." In a rush she hurried into the kitchen and turned on the water, yelling "Your sink! Your water! Your faucet!"
"Alright, princess, I think I get the point!" Kate smiled over at Betty who had been yelling to be heard and trying hard not to move. It must've hurt all day, but Betty hadn't shown it until the wake. Kate noticed now and the thought almost buried her with concern. All afternoon Betty looked strong in her red dress, strong up until the breakdown at the wake. In her mind Kate was almost sure that Lorna was watching Betty just as closely as she had been on this particular night.
"Can I draw you a bath? It'll help, I know it." Somehow that admission just stung at Betty. Kate would know pain like this. Kate's father had been monstrously abusive to her on numerous occasions. Betty knew that the evidence of these brawls of her own would all but disappear from her body when given good time. Meanwhile Kate had living scars, scars that took over a year to even heal an inch. She had seen them again today when Kate was changing. It had been an accident but one they were both used to from one another. Those scars were better, but they were still there. As present as the sweltering sun on a cloudless day.
"I'd like that, thanks." It was hard to cover it up. The pain of knowing something so horrible had gone on. More important, the pain of knowing that the past could never be changed.
Betty's mind flashed back to Vera and then to Theresa. When would it end? When would any of it just end.
"Betts?" Gladys called, she had been opening cabinets in the kitchen and then slamming them closed like a determined policemen who had been ordered to quickly snoop about.
"Hmm?" A peculiar expression crossed Betty's face and Gladys saw it and she calmed.
"What're you gonna do with all of this space?"
"I've been meaning to talk to you about that, Princess, honestly."
"Oh really?"
"Come on, help me up stairs." Now that she was home, Betty was limping.
"You really are hurt. God, Betts! Why didn't you tell me?!" Betty had looked so good tonight at Vera's wake. Her hair perfectly in place and her bruises finally disappearing for the first time since they had appeared. Gladys had no clue there was still pain there. But now, it was obvious.
"Nothing you can do. I was going to say bye to Vera." The grief hit them both again. Gladys moved through it, taking Betty by the elbow.
"Come on, fighter, I've gotchu." She pulled Betty's arm around her own shoulders and braced Betty's weight against her own just as Kate had done before by the car.
"Ain't no palace in the world with better company than mine."
"Darn tootin'!" Gladys joked, almost snorting. She hated cowboy talk and Betty knew. It was a new joke of theirs, ever since something Clifford had said. His misguided fascination with the American west had been glaringly apparent on a particular outing long before Gladys went away. He was a closet fan of those western television programs that the United States seemed to churn out as often as pilgrims churned butter.
"I'm sorry about today, 'bout before." Betts admitted.
"We're all falling apart." It was a truth that Gladys had been meaning to admit for a long time. She had gotten in too deep with Clifford at the helm. After his death she had just about lost herself, again.
"Why'd you do it Princess? We all heard about the girl before you caught Helen. The one who was just trying to escape." Betty had heard alright and keeping quiet about it had been a task. In Betty's mind that girl could've easily been her. What would Gladys do if she knew? Betty hated to think of it. She hated to think that Gladys would just turn anyone in just for hiding who they were. She thought of Kate again and of Chet and how she herself had handled a similar situation differently. But then she thought of the pickles and that nazi, he had been violent and it was the only reason she yelled.
"I guess I was lost." Gladys admitted, snapping Betty from her daze.
"Scared?" Betty asked.
"Scared… That too."
"Would you do it again?" Betty asked, wanting the truth in the madness. Wanting to know that Gladys hated what she had done and how her actions had ruined lives.
"No. Not any of it." She wouldn't do it again.
"Not even Clifford?" Betty asked.
"Especially not Clifford."
"You slept with him?"
"Would I have left with him if I hadn't?"
They knew each other so well, it was disturbing how little conversations was actually necessary.
"I'm glad it's over. Glad you're back."
"I should've stayed here, should've fought for you more." Her voice cracked, thinking about Betty in jail.
"There was nothing to be done. Really."
"I could've at least tried." Gladys said sadly.
They were talking now about that horrible prison. Betty never should've gone. She never should've committed herself like an idiot but what was done was done. At least now they were all safe and it was over. Vernon Rowley had been a horrible man but he'd never bother Kate again and that was all that really mattered to any of them.
"Sometimes I feel like life is just a test."
"For the afterlife?" Gladys asked. She had never really heard Betty talk much about God.
"No, not really. If there is a God, he's testing us here and just for fun. People talk about the man in the clouds and I just think they need their heads checked." She thought about Kate though and knew that she was all talk. If Kate believed, it could all make sense to Betty. But with most people, in Betty's experience, God was just an excuse to do bad things.
"You might be right." Gladys offered.
"I might be wrong. I never claim to know a thing. How can anybody know what isn't known?"
"You sound prophetic, Betts. What's gotten into you these days?"
"I guess prison changes a girl…" She mused with a soft smile. That was a new thing she could say. A new angle she could spin on all further conversations. It was true but it was odd.
"What was it like?" They were in her room now. Betty had forgotten that Kate was drawing her a bath.
"The big house?"
"Was it horrible? Were they mean?"
"Of course! House full of criminals, like that? Only few women were actually like me."
"What do you mean, like you?" Gladys asked innocently.
"Not. Guilty." Betty enunciated just for her.
"So there were murderers?"
"They thought I was a murderer." Betty reminded, lighting a cigarette with ease. The simple things felt great now. To have a job. To have a cigarette. To have friends who she didn't have to instantly mistrust.
"Were there any girls like Kate?"
"Well, there was me…" It was odd to think of herself like Kate but Betty often did. Deep down Betty knew that Kate was a better person than she could ever be. That being said, both her and Kate had been good as much as a girl could be without gettin' stomped on. "There were a few girls who seemed similar, one in particular, we became friends."
"What did she do?"
"She was framed."
"Was it murder?"
"She's still in there Gladys, still, right this second. Do you have any idea how that hurts? Justice ain't real. So many women killed people just to save themselves, or their kids. Stole bread to eat when jobs were scarce. Told their husbands to drown in fast rivers and then got sent to prison just for standing up for themselves. Out here people don't talk about it 'cause it's shame. And now it's all I see…" Betty used her fingers to squeeze at her eyes. There was pain there, so much of it. All mental and all threatening to encroach on her sanity. Not many people dealt with these truths, certainly not anyone she knew. Betty's eyes stung from all the crying and all the bitterness. It had been a hard year. Maybe even her hardest.
With her old friends, prison talk hadn't happened. There was a girl Betty befriended right after her time, a woman who helped her throw the fights each night in the ring. Betty had told her once about Kate, not using any names. She had told her about the girls in prison and about the trial and how she wanted to die. She had told her a lot of things.
That woman hated her now but not for any of those reasons. It was better that way. Betty didn't know how to tell the people she loved about all the horrible things that had changed her.
"Betty?" Kate walked towards them now, her arm damp up to the elbow. "It's ready now, I left you a towel." They didn't have much but they had soap enough to clean and privacy in which to rest. A bath of ones own was knew to them all.
Kate shot Betty a glance as Betty left and she turned to Gladys now with time to kill.
"So, you lookin' ta stay?" Kate asked, making conversation.
"What do you mean? Stay here?"
"Did Betty not tell you? She's offering you a free room." Betty hadn't told her and worse yet Gladys hadn't even felt that she might be invited.
"I'm a terrible friend." Gladys said, scooting over. When Kate sat down she felt her body sink into Betty's old mattress from the rooming house. They had stolen it cause Lorna said to. It was one of the many things Lorna could impact and let slide.
"We both are." Kate agreed.
"She was in prison, Kate. Actual prison."
"And it was my fault." Kate said, "but it's over now…" Kate wasn't meaning to downplay the horrid experience. What she did mean was that they could move on now and talk about it, live together and heal as other people did every day in their own different ways.
"Can things like that ever really be over?"
"They can, for the most part." Kate confessed. She had escaped a worse prison. Her home life had been cruel. "I spent many years at my father's hand. He can't touch me now. Not ever."
"Has she talked to you about prison?" Gladys was overly curious. She wouldn't rest until she knew it all. It was an ingrained piece of her personality to be constantly digging for more information.
"There hasn't been any time." Kate sighed, feeling awkward and almost upset. "Every time we talk, it's like she isn't seeing me. I want to take everything back but I can't..." It was true, she did hate it. Betty had been through a traumatic experience and it had all been her fault, at least, that's how she felt.
"I think I know what you mean…" Gladys agreed. There were many things she herself would like to take back.
"I never wanted her to go to the police. If I could've stopped her, I would've."
"Me too…" Gladys said, almost whispering.
"And you with Clifford? I hated all that. You should've stayed here and waited with me, waited for Betty to come home."
"She was ignoring us both, there was nothing left to do. I came back in the end, made sure of it. I'd never really leave you two, I hope you know that, Kate."
"Is that why you stayed with the spies?" Kate wasn't angry but she was curious. Gladys had been a different person for so long but Kate understood that sometimes people change just to escape their demons, even just for a little while.
"I stayed because I was an idiot. When Clifford died I thought I could avenge him. Once Victory Munitions came into the conversation that secured fate. I would end up back in Toronto either way. At least with the spies I had a job for a little while."
"Did you love Clifford all that much?" Kate was more interested in the love of it all.
"Not really, no… But his death was unnecessary and I had been there, I was the only one to be there."
"I'm not saying you were wrong." Kate made sure to explain.
"I was wrong, Kate. I was an idiot. And a jerk."
"We both were." Kate corrected, for the second time in one night. As far as she was concerned, her and Gladys both had some atoning to do.
"You haven't gotten anyone killed." Gladys said bitterly, the self-loathing in her voice, so strong, that both of them could almost see it before them hanging freely in the air.
"Gladys…" Kate thought hard at the right way to put things. "... Where to start? I killed my father. Sent my best friend to prison. And Ivan died because he was talking to me-"
"Kate, you can't think of it that way." Gladys Witham was so stuck in her head that she had forgotten she had been talking to Kate Andrews. She felt instantly horrible.
"I can and I will. It's what happened, isn't it?" They both knew it to be so. Gladys only squirmed under Kate's knowing eye.
The two of them sat there wanting to speak but hating all of their words.
In the bathtub Betty soaked, her eyes sore from crying, her body sore from the fights. In a perfect world none of them would be sad. Secretly, Betty was only taking a bath because Kate had suggested it. She wasn't dirty at all, in fact, far from it. But Kate said it would help so Betty was sure that it would.
A knock came at the door and Betty pulled the shower curtain so that only her head could been seen.
"Can I come in?" It was Kate.
"Sure." Betty said, remembering the rooming house and how little privacy there actually was there. If there was one thing they were all used to it was being naked and pretending they weren't. VicMu had taught them much, this was just one of their learned things to ignore.
The water felt hot on Betty's skin and she loved it.
"It was a good idea, the bath."
"I knew it would be. I'm glad." Kate walked to the edge of the tub and lowered herself to the floor, sitting indian style with her arms up on the side near Betty's head. Kate rested her face on her arms so that she could look on Betty fondly whilst she soaked in the tub.
"Do you think you'll stay?" Betty asked. Whenever Kate was close, she panicked just a little and spoke just to fill that air.
"For a while at least…" It was good enough for now. Before, Kate had been sounding like she wanted to take off. Betty didn't know Kate had waited for her. If the answer was guilt, she'd sooner wished that Kate had already gone.
"I don't want to keep you." Betty said, truthfully. If Kate stayed for her sake she'd hate herself more.
"You're not keeping me, silly. I'm keeping you." Kate smiled at Betty and watched her face change as it had often been doing. Those expressions were so open and readable and Kate wondered if she should speak some more and maybe try and get Betty to calm all her nerves.
"Sorry, about before."
"That's twice, McRae. You apologize one more time and I'll scream." Kate slipped her hand in the warm water and let it float back and forth with the steam.
There was a moment where Betty moved to speak again but all her words had been wrong. Everything she said was a mistake. She closed her mouth and sat there rather nervously.
"Your house is beautiful." Kate said after a short while. Silence didn't frighten Kate. Silence was enjoyable to her now that it was shared.
"Our house."
"Our house…" Kate agreed. "Gladys told me about the fights. I know now how you could afford it."
"Does it matter?" Betty asked.
"Not really. As long as you're alright. And you've stopped now?" So often Kate found herself leading the conversation. After Betty came back from prison she was broken, unsure. Even now, with her house and her job back, Betty was still just a shell of herself, a wounded animal and Kate couldn't help her. When she talked to Betty now it was almost like trying to shake a ghost.
"Never again…" Betty said, knowing full well that if there was ever an emergency she probably would slip right back into it. It may have hurt to throw the fight but it hurt more to do absolutely nothing and watch her life just slip away, everything that mattered, everything that meant a damn.
"I wish I could go back. Keep you from prison. And fighting…" Kate added as an afterword. Here with Betty, she wasn't sad but she could reflect on things and see how they had gone wrong.
"But then where would we be?" Betty asked with a smile, looking up at the ceiling and pointing her eyes at the closed door as if she could see through it into her house.
"Together." Kate said simply. It would be worth it for her to go back.
"Well, that's all done." Betty wanted to forget but she knew she never would.
"You never wrote me from prison. I thought you were dieing. You could've been dead…" In her mind Kate knew that no one would tell her if Betty died. The prison had no contacts for Betty's family and even Lorna hadn't been getting letters. When Vera told her, when Kate heard that Betty had wrote SOMEONE, it was a gift from the gods. She nearly lost herself in happiness, the next month went by like a pleasant dream.
"I'm sorry Kate."
"Dammit Betty-" Kate stopped herself with an angered smile, she really never swore. Again Betty had apologized. That was three times in less than an hour.
"What?" Betty asked, sitting up a little before remembering herself. She sunk back into the bath so that Kate wouldn't have to see her.
"If anyone gets to be sorry, it's me."
"But Kate-"
"No! I'm telling you now. You can't be sorry for me. I've caused you hardship. I've changed your life."
"I love you though."
"Maybe so…" Kate thought, smiling at Betty's indignance. "But I love you too, and I didn't want this for either of us."
"Someone had to fall."
"You tell yourself that."
There was still bitterness there between the two. Kate was certain that the police would've left them alone. Betty, being what she was, an open deviant, the prison sentence was heavier, and for absolutely no reason. Kate was appauled that Betty still had no idea how sensless that gesture had been. But Betty had a hard head and explaining the situation to her would take more time then they could ever find between them.
"I killed him, you know? It was my sentence. My crime."
"He hurt you. He deserved it."
"But I killed him. I don't regret that one bit."
"It was an accident." Betty reminded.
"But I wanted it." Kate confessed, all anger about him temporarily lost.
"Kate… Why are you talking about this?"
"I've missed you, all this time. There's been so much I've wanted to say."
"I got your letters." Betty confessed.
It was enough to make Kate scream. Tears rushed her eyes. She had been writing to Betty, every week without fail. It didn't matter that Betty wasn't writing back. If there was even a chance that Betty could hear her, it was worth it just to try.
"I thought I was kidding myself." Kate scoffed, a tear escaping swiftly, and then another. She moved to wipe it from her face and there was a long pause between them in which Betty took Kate's hand and they both held on tight and stared knowingly, Kate in exacerbated frustration and Betty in plain adoration and seriousness.
"They saved me in there. Kept me alive." She was talking of the letters.
"I'll never forgive you for taking the blame." She was angry but she couldn't help her smile.
"Well, I won't do it again. Next time, it's yours." Betty joked.
"I do wish you'd tell the truth." Kate smiled more serious now. Betty was full of lies. Betty would always try to save her and Kate knew that just as she knew that she herself would always try to save Betty. They were a horrible pair. Horribly lovely.
"The water's getting cold." Betty said, it was a shit thing to do, take comfort from the letters but never write.
"Goodness, I'm sorry." Kate said sadly. She hadn't noticed how Betty had stopped moving with her right there next to her. It all just seemed peaceful for once and she loved it.
"We're full of apologies today…" Betty smiled.
"I'm just glad to be talking again." Kate stood up and looked down on her friend. Thinking about leaving felt painful, even if it was just to sit in the very next room. When Kate turned to go, Betty stopped her.
"Kate, what I said before about you not being able to survive prison?"
"What?" Kate was caught off-guard, she hadn't remembered such a queer statement.
"You're stronger than me." Betty said it but it made no matter to Kate. Sometimes people say things without thinking and before Betty had been in a world all her own, forgetting almost everything just to grasp at what she could hold. Kate knew that about Betty. She knew that prison had stolen things from Betty, just as it would've stolen things from her.
"Come on, hurry up. No use soaking in there like a dirty dish."
The conversation had gone all sorts of places. Kate walked to her room and changed rather slowly, hoping that maybe Betty would intrude so that they could talk some more even just for a while.
All-in-all the house was coming together. Their lives were piecing themselves again into full shapes of vivid color.
Betty dried herself and wrapped in a towel. There was something liberating about taking a bath in her own house.
She entered her room to find Gladys laying on her bed and reading.
"I love this book Betts." Gladys said, sitting up and facing the window to give Betty her privacy.
"I'm not much for readin'. It was a gift from Kate."
"Have you read it?"
"I tried but…" Her voice trailed off. She opened her dresser to pull out a silky pajama shirt and wrap it around herself, buttoning confidently.
"Oh, it's lovely." Gladys began to gush. "I read it a long time ago but I forgot how perfectly it speaks to girls like us."
"Like us?"
"Crazy families. Only girl."
"Ahh-" Betty sighed, pulling her matching silky pants on, not bothering with underwear since Gladys was all up in her space.
"In the beginning everything is grey." Gladys said.
"Grey? The color?"
"Sort of, it's not just that though. Dorothy is on the farm and everything moves slow on the farm. The farm is her whole world but she's out of place. There's no color there."
Betty walked to Gladys and sat down beside her. They both stared down at the book since there was a pen and ink picture inside of Dorothy in that checkered dress. Just like Dorothy's grey world, there was no color in the sketch, just black and white, so plain.
Kate walked toward Betty's room. She heard talking and knew that Betty would be decent. When she got to her door she saw Gladys and Betty, their backs toward the door. She heard Gladys's voice and smiled, not wanting to interrupt them just there.
"Dorothy had to leave to see how different her life could be."
"And then the munchkins."
"You told me you didn't read it!" Gladys exclaimed.
"Never said I didn't see the movie."
Gladys pondered hitting Betty hard, it would be fun and she knew now that Betty could take it. She thought about it but she stopped herself, letting out a huge sigh.
"What?" Betty said mischievously. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you were about to murder me just then." Betty smiled.
"You give my life color, Betts."
"Oookay…" Betty said. Understanding only basically what Gladys was trying to say.
RING A LING A LING!
The phone cried out from downstairs, it was one of those features that none of them were yet used to and they all jumped just a little at that sound.
"Who could that be?" Gladys asked, turning back to spy Kate in the door frame, holding her chest, with a bit of panic on her face.
"Betty, did you give anyone this number?" Kate asked.
"Well, you three, and Lorna…"
The phone rang again.
"I better go get it." Betty jumped up. She had been so distracted by Glady's story that the ring of her own phone sounded completely alien to her, like an alarm from somewhere else. Secretly it reminded Betty of that day beneath the factory when they had that bomb scare and they were all hiding underground in fear for their own safety.
Kate stood aloft, walking back towards her room so that she might watch Betty from her upstairs vantage point.
"H-Hello! It's Betty!" Betty yelled. Kate looked to Gladys and they both smiled softly, relieving their own tension.
"Betty? It's Lorna, Lorna Corbett."
"Lorna! I know your voice!" Betty yelled happily. But something in Lorna's tone was off. There was a graveness there and Betty's expression dropped just in realizing.
"Betty, we've heard word."
"Word from who?" Betty yelled, she always talked too loud on the telephone. It was one of those things she would probably never stop doing.
"It's Vera, Betty. She's in the hospital."
A bolt of electricity ran through Betty's body. She felt herself stun and then shake.
"But-, Lorna-, they said-"
"I know what they said. They were wrong." Lorna said shortly. "Vera Burr is alive. Vera Burr is unconscious. And Sheila is seeing to her right now. She went in special. I can hardly believe-" Lorna's voice trailed off.
"Can I see her?" Betty asked. From the top of the stairs Kate looked to Gladys again this time with pain in her eyes. Who could Betty be wanting to see? What was this all about? Betty's voice didn't sound happy or sad, it just sounded dire. As you can imagine, this did nothing but worry the two girls. Gladys got up to walk next to Kate. She took Kate's hand in her own and they both waited for the call to just end.
"I think you should see her Betty. Sheila says Vera's got pneumonia. I'm sure you can imagine. She hasn't said a word."
"I-I'll go now."
"I knew you'd feel that way."
"Thanks Lorna. This means the world to me."
"I'll see you soon."
"Okay. Bye Lorna."
She clicked the phone down onto the receiver and stood in the kitchen, swaying, noticing how she was shaky and almost hot.
"Well?" Kate asked, yelling down toward the silence. Betty clenched her fists and wandered out toward the landing.
"You're not gonna believe this but-"
"What is it?" Gladys asked, noticing the graveness on Betty's face.
"It's Vera... She's- She's alive."
When she said it aloud, the realization hit her like a ton of heavy bricks. Betty found herself wanting to laugh with the relief of it all. She may be sick at the hospital. She may have been through a terrible time. But Vera Burr was alive and Betty McRae was determined to see her, even if for only a moment. She was going to see her and Vera Burr was going to be alive again.
"I have to go to her. She's in the hospital."
"Oh Betty," Gladys smiled, tears in her eyes and her hand flying up to cover her overwhelming smile. "I'll drive!"
From the top of the stairs, Kate and Gladys laughed and hugged each other desperately in thier happines, clinging to one another as if life would have it no other way.
It only took a moment for them all to grab coats and rush out the door.
