Chapter 2:

Road Trip (Of Death)

Snow shot out from under the tires as Zer0 expertly navigated the vehicle across the snowy terrain of Three Horns Divide, bullets pelting against the back of the car as bandits cursed at him. His destination was The Friend Ship Gulag in the Dust. That's where the Assassins are hiding, and it may not be long before they move again.

Zer0 was debating about how he would kill them, deciding that steal may be the preferable approach, when a rather large Psyco charged in front of the vehicle.

The Assassin wrote it off as no big deal and that he would run it down. The Psyco proved smarter than most, leaping and landing on the hood of the car, caving it in.

"Why do you bug me / I must complete my main goal / Get off you bastard."

Zer0 called to the Psyco, turning the wheel left and right, trying to shake the Psyco off. He leaned to the left as the Psyco brought its Buzz Axe down through what could only be described as the wind shield of the car, firmly planting the Axe in the driver seat. With one hand on the wheel, he used the other to keep the deadly weapon where it was, in the seat.

The Psyco tugged furiously, and as he leaned far back, Zer0 released it while simultaneously stopping the vehicle, sending the delusional giant flying off of the hood of the car.

Zer0 boosted the car forwards, crushing the Psyco under the tires as he continued forwards.

"Stay out of my way / I am on my own mission / I will cut you foo'." Zer0 claimed in a bored tone.

You know.

The usual one.


Clap-Trap sat alone, and almost forgotten, for you can never forget Clap-Trap. It was at that time an idea popped into his… Thing…


The Assassin soon arrived on the bright rocky plains of Three Horns Valley, stopping when his echo communicator forwarded a call. A mechanical voice cut through the static.

"Hey! Buddy! You took off without telling me where you were going! I am throwing a second party, in honour of me saving Pandora!"

Zer0's blood ran cold as the small robots voice came through. The mood throughout the area shifted.

"I just wanted to see if-"

Clap-Trap was abruptly cut off as Zer0 turned off his echo communicator, before the suicidal thoughts crept in. It was then that the vehicle began to shake and rattle, perhaps in dismay. Maybe it had heard Clap-Trap, and was just as depressed as Zer0.

This proved not to be the case, as when he looked back, 4 Skags had latched onto the bumper of the car.

Zer0 glared at them, and they would be quite terrified if they could see it through his mask.

"You guys suck so much / I cannot get a moment / of peace or quiet."

It was then that The Assassin noticed the blue glow radiating off of one of the creatures. Electricity.

He looked down at his scrap metal vehicle. A perfect conductor.

"Shit" Was all the time the poet had to calmly state before the electric charge traveled through the vehicle, igniting the fuel and causing it to EXPLODE! Boooooooom!1 It was awesome.

Well, maybe not for Zer0.

I haven't played Borderlands 2 in a while, so it was kinda tough doing the descriptions. If you don't like the way I'm writing it, lemme know, so I can see if I can fix it. Also so I don't look like an idiot.

Chapters will come out, say, every 2-4 days. I intend to make them longer as my writing improves. I also tend to fuss over the story for 1-3 hours, so it can take time. Sorry?

Kay bai