Once upon a timewarp...
In a galaxy very, very, very, very, very, far, far away…. Man who came up with this, oh yeah-there lived a ruthless, and self-absorbed race of beings known as...Spaceballs!
Chapter Seventeen, or was it Eleven
Anyway back to the main story, the evil leaders of Planet Spaceball, having foolishly squandered their precious atmosphere, have devised a secret plan to take every breath of fresh air away from their peace-loving nieghbor, Planet Druidia.
Also today is Princess Gwen's wedding day. Unbeknownist to the princess but knownst to us, danger lurks in the stars above...
In the dark places of space a massive grey ship, travelling through the blackness of space, at the back of the starship was the sign "Total Drama Forever!". Aboard the bridge was Colonel Hatchet standing before the large window.
"Colonel Hatchet!" A spaceball officer stood up from his chair and approached him. "You told me to tell you from the moment planet Druidia was in sight, sir."
Hatchet's eyebrow arched to his hat, looking at the officer. "And?"
"Planet Druidia is in sight, sir."
Hatchet glanced at him, glared at him for the moment. "Your really spaceball, you know that?"
"Thank you, sir."
"Have you notified lord McLean?"
"Yes, sir, he is on his way now!" The officer replied.
"Make way for Lord McLean!" A booming voice echoed throughout the bridge, Hatchet groaned and narrowing his eyes of how a big of a pain this is going to be. "I sometimes hate my life." He sighed. "All rise in the presence of Lord McLean." Not bothered to sound prideful but little annoyed. All the spaceballs stood up to their positions as the doors opened for a man in black clothing and a large helmet, walking forward as each spaceball were scared, trembling, or just being clueless of the situation. McLean took each step and the heavy breathing increases until he struggles for air, pulls the helmet out to gain his breath back in the nick of time.
"I have got to get this thing fixed! I couldn't even breath!" Chris was slowly recovering from his breathing, walking to where the Colonel stood. "Chris, we're approaching planet Druidia, thought I might let you know how close we are to our destination." Said Hatchet
"Good, I'll call Spaceball City and notify President Geoff immediately." He picks up a phone in his gloved hand. "I went over your helmet, sir." The Officer who spoke to Hactchet earlier informed him, Chris's eyes widened, as the Colonel was dumbfounded when he did something too predictable, the evil lord puts the phone back down and glares at the officer.
"What? You went over my helmet?" He said in a low hiss.
The officer felt intimidated by the way he spoke, backing away a little while trying to explain himself to Chris. "W-Well, not exactly over it, sir. Just to the side but it won't happen again, ever!" But when the dark lord lifted his hand with a ring around his finger, the officer was trembling and sweating in fear of the ring. "Oh, shit! No, no, no, no, no! Please, anything but that!"
Chris and Hatchet grinned, showing a menacing and mischievous look on their faces.
Pulls down his helmet back over his face. "Oh yes, that!" His ring illuminated with green light, stabbed out and engulfed the victim around the groin, causing him to hold onto them and letting out a high pitch pain. Falling on his knees as the agonizing pain much to their sense of humor until Chris decided it was enough and let him go, gesturing to the guards to take him away to be taking care of.
"I love this ring." He laughs with the colonel. "Hatchet!"
Hatchet immediately placed his hands over his groin for protection. "Sir!"
"You said we are in Druidia's home star system, where is it?"
"We don't have visual contact yet, but will have it on radar, sir, shall I punch it up?" Hatchet basically informed him and offered to show him the display.
"Nah, never mind, I'll do it myself." Both walk to the radar machine. Doesn't show any thing of the radar on the screen. "What's wrong with this thing, why do I get the turning and bubbling thing on the screen?"
"Uh, Chris, that's Mr. Coffee we bought recently before leaving Spaceball City." The Colonel informed him, showing the sign above them as he said. "Oh, then I shall have coffee! I always have coffee when watching radar screen, you know that?"
"Yep."
"Everyone knows that!" At the cue everyone planted their hands protectively over their crown jewels. "OF COURSE WE DO, SIR!" He takes a cup of coffee from the colonel. "Now that I have my coffee, I can now watch radar. Where is it?"
"Right here." Hactchet gestures to the radar machine next to the coffee machine with the name "Mr. Radar".
"Cool, switch to visual." The screen switches to a beautiful lush green planet with a glass dome surrounding it. "There it is: Planet Druidia and underneath that shield is the 10,000 years of fresh air." Chris proclaimed in awe by the sheer structure.
"Whew! How did they build something like that?" Hatchet asked, almost amazed by the shield as well.
"I'm just as clueless as you are which is why we must breach that air shield!"
"No problem." Hatchet stated. "Once we have princess Gwen in our hands, we will force her cousin, King Trent to give us the combination of the air shield; thereby destroying planet Druidia and saving planet Spaceball." He grins.
Lord McLean turns to the screen. "Everybody got that?" Turning back to the colonel. "Good, so when will the princess be married?"
"Within the hour, marrying the sleeping beauty, prince Justin." Hatchet answered, Chris grinned as evilly of thinking of the plan. "Good, I hope it's a long ceremony for her royal highness, cuz it's gonna be a short honeymoon." Both laughed darkly but Chris stopped and had thought of something. "Wait. Why is Prince Justin nicknamed sleeping beauty?"
"Because he is adored by countless babes but sometimes falls asleep and keeps his body adored." McLean snickered by the comment before taking a zip of his coffee. The moment he fileld his mouth with it, his face changed to a colour of red while holding his breath until spatters it out. "Hot! Too Hot!
Meanwhile on the peaceful planet of Druidia where the kingdom prepares for the princess Gwen to Prince Justin as also tomorrow would be Bingo Night. Inside the church Gwen dressed in a beautiful wedding dress, although unlike many she has greenish blue hair and pale skin. Thinks this is how she suited despite many think of. Beside her was her cousin Trent.
"Hey thanks for doing this, Trent. It would've been difficult." The Princess smiled at her cousin.
"Man, I wish your parents were here to see this, if they were still alive. Hey is everything ready?" Trent asked the staff preparing her dress.
"Yes, your majesty."
"I'm not, where's my maid in honor?" Gwen asked without her maid of honor present before the ceremony begins.
"Oh, yes that's right, where L? Leshawna Matrix!" Entering inside was a golden female robot rolling with roller blades.
"Easy there, this booty was just built last week! I didn't got myself dented before my best friend's wedding." L said, gesturing her golding butt cheeks.
"OK, people be ready it's magic time!"
Gwen groaned. "Ugh, I wish I wasn't here!"
"I would know the feeling if I was in your place!" The wedding music started on and all the guests stood up. Trent taking his cousins' arm, walking down the pathway until, Gwen stops and grabs hold of her cousin's arm. " Wait! " The music stops to take notice of her hesitation. "Must I go through with this?" She asked him, not liking the idea of marrying a complete stranger.
"I'm really sorry but you have to, unfortunately this dude is the last prince in the galaxy!" The king whispered to her, noticing Prince Justin waving to her and then yawns with his hand over his mouth before holding up a small mirror in his other hand to admire himself and winking at some of his female fans. The bride and the king continued moving forward, but stops again by Gwen. "But I don't love this guy, no offence to him, but he's just a dude who only cares about his looks and how attractive he is."
"I would know the same thing if that was a princess I have to marry, so come on, unless you want him dead." That thought would come to her mind but would not be her nature. They approach the vicar who was ready to marry her and the prince.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here on this joyful day, to witness the marriage of Prince Justin and Princess Gwen, cousin of king Trent-" But before finishing his sentence Gwen made a run for it along with Leshawna holding on to the end of her gown. "-Right past the Alter. Heading down the path and going to the front door!" Finishing his sentence of what she was doing, surprising everyone present in the church.
"Gwen! Where are you going? Stop her? Somebody stop her?" The king and a lot of people were now chasing after her. Leshawna was strolling down the pathway behind Gwen on her roller blades as she ran for her get-away. "Hey now, girl, what are you doing? Hold on, you forgot to get married first!"
Trying to make sense with her best friend as Gwen opens the small car-like starship.
"No time for questions now, Leshawna! Get in!" Before the robot continued her protest she was pulled inside before everyone in the church rushed out too late to find them in air. Justin was about to ask her to come back but his yawning caught up. Trent smacked his hand on his face while his cousin was now high as the shields were. Probably escaping into space.
Hope you enjoyed it! I had to stop there to make viewers get ideas for it of what will happen next, I am rewriting the fanfic, but not much as its only a short story. apologies for the short chapters but hope the clean up on the spelling and grammar will make up for it. I'm doing the same for the other chapters and correcting the spelling mistakes on them. Hope you all enjoy the fanfic and let me know what you think of it.
