What the Fire Flower?!

Author's Note:

Inspired by the videos "Why Mario is mental part 1", "Why Mario is mental part 2", "Rosalina UNMASKED pt. 1 (Super Mario Galaxy)" and "Rosalina UNMASKED pt. 2 (Super Mario Galaxy)" by The Game Theorists. Special thanks to MatPat, for inspiring me.

I own nothing, this is just a story based off a theory I found from YouTube. The "Super Mario Bros." series is owned by Nintendo. This story will NOT be cannon towards my other stories and so-on. This story was NOT meant to be taken seriously, just embracing a theory that inspired me for this story that you are reading right now. This takes place before "Super Mario Galaxy". Special thanks to YouTube series "Sonic for hire" for inspiring me for this chapter.

Luigi and Yoshi arrived at the front doors of The Mushroom Kingdom. Luigi knocked on the door.

A few minutes passed by, as Luigi knocked again.

"Yo, hurry up, motha****a. Toadsworth, I know that you're a ****ing toad but I KNOW that you ain't THAT slow." Yoshi mumbled.

"Yoshi, be nice-a. You never-a know, Toadsworth probably just got attacked or-a something." Luigi replied.

"True that, Mario just came from here..."

Toadsworth opened the door, holding a towel and ice-pack on his shoulder. "Greetings, Master Luigi and Master Yoshi."

"Uh, hey-a, Toadsworth. The princess invited us-a here." Luigi greeted.

"Oh yes, the princess is crying in her room. Go see if you can cheer her up, she said that she needed to talk with you two." Toadsworth said, letting the green plumber and dinosaur enter.

Luigi hooped off Yoshi, as he followed him to Peach's room.

Toadsworth went to sit at the royal table to finish his tea.

The scene cuts to Peach in her room, sitting on her bed, still looking through Mario's Mailbox SP.

She heard a knock on her door. "Come in."

Luigi and Yoshi came into her room, as Peach ran over to hug both of them.

"Yo, Peach, you said that you wanted to talk?" Yoshi asked.

"Yes. Luigi, Yoshi, something HORRIBLE'S happened; Mario's become evil." Peach cried.

"Nothin' new, can't believe you didn't notice he was hidin' somethin'," Yoshi replied. "Y'see, I've been keepin' a low profile because I figured that if Mario trusted me, I could pry a lil bit. Apparently, he just loves violence and sex a lil TOO much..."

Peach cried more. "Sex? Who has he ****ed?"

"Pauline and...word on the street is that he did Daisy. Not by her choice either...Not pretty."

Luigi started to steam, as he got pissed off. "WHAT THE ****-A!?"

"Yeah, Daisy only did him because she thought that it would shut that nigga up. But APPARENTLY...he wanted more and she found that just DISGUSTING, so that's why she don't come to our house no more; because Mario lives there too." Yoshi answered.

"I WILL-A KILL THAT SON OF A B****! He did-a Daisy against her ****ing will, I'm-a get him back!" Luigi yelled.

Peach wrapped her arms around Luigi. "Luigi, please calm down. Getting mad at him won't stop him...we just need to warn as many people as we can."

"Yea bro, calm da **** down for a sec. Just chill." Yoshi agreed.

"I-I-I'm-a sorry. I just can't-a help it. I've liked Daisy for QUITE some time-a now..."

"It's okay, brotha. I feel you. BUT...at da same time, if she would **** Mario JUST to shut him up...isn't that not loyal to you or some sh**?"

"I-I-I...I DON'T-A KNOW!" Luigi started to cry again. "Maybe?"

"So...who should we warn? The Mushroom Kingdom probably already knows about this..." Yoshi wondered.

"We should-a probably start-a with Mario's-a friends from-a Rouge-a-port." Luigi suggested.

"Good idea," Peach said. "A few of the girls have crushes of him...so we better move QUICK. I have Toadsworth get the boat ready in the morning."

"Yo, I'll call me cuz that lives there." Yoshi got on his Mailbox SP.

Peach let go of Luigi. "Luigi, you know anyone personally that could help?"

"Well...hmmmm...besides all of-a Mario's friends from all the Paper-a Mario games."

"I think you know at least TWO more..."

"NO! N-N-Not-a THEM."

"We have no choice."

"B-B-But my rude-a cousins probably would j-just make everything-a WORSE."

"Yo, Louie!" Yoshi called.

"Yeah?"

"Dress up as Mr. L from "Super Paper Mario" and that should get em to help."

Luigi let out a groan. "...Fiiiiine..."

Just then, a Bob-omb with a note attached to it came flying through the broken window.

Luigi and Peach let out a scream, cowering under the bed.

Yoshi toke the note and threw the Bob-omb back out the window.

"It says..."Dear Peach, I want you, the pesky green plumber and that obnoxious dinosaur at my castle tomorrow. Signed, Bowser.". Yoshi read. "B**** ass fire-breathing reptile."

"Okay, so Bowser wants to meet up with us..." Peach thought about it.

Everyone heard an explosion outside, along with Bowser roaring and screaming.

"Ignore dat f***a, we gotta talk with him tomorrow."

"Good-a point."

"Y'know, before we go through da argument sh** with the Rougeport people, we should think of people that actually COULD help..."

"...I know a few-a guys."

"Who?" Peach asked.

"Sonic and his-a friends."

"Great idea," Said Yoshi. "If it's ANYONE that Mario HATES...it's Sonic."

"Okay, we need ALL the help we can GET to stop Mario and get rid of him once and for all." Peach added. "Sonic should be easy to find, probably still in station Square."

"Okie-a dokie. Let's-a go in the morning." Luigi said, opening the bedroom door. "Hey, you still have-a sandwiches?"

"Yes, Toadsworth made a whole platter of them earlier. I'm coming with you." Peach answered, following Luigi and Yoshi to the royal table.

"OH MY GOD!" She shrieked. "Toadsworth! Are you okay?"

"Y-Y-Yes, princess. I'm fine, just got a knife thrown at my shoulder before Mario left earlier."

"Can you steer the boat tonight?"

"I-I...maybe, but I wouldn't recommend sailing tonight. Mario's-"

"Getting ****ed by Pauline as we speak. Lez go." Yoshi cut Toadsworth off.

"Please refrain from bad language in front of me, master Yoshi. Either way, are you SURE that we NEED to sail right away?"

"Mario is a psycho on da loose and will probably soon plan to kill us all...we kinda NEED to now."

"Aw, yes. M-My mistake. I'll get the boat ready right away, princess." Toadsworth went outside.

"So...iight, I'm gonna warn the other yoshis and birdos. Luigi, you go warn Sonic and his friends and Peach, you go warn Mario's partners in Rougeport."

"B-B-But shouldn't we-a go all together?" Luigi worried.

"Oh c'mon, them partners from Rougeport like Peach too so...they oughta believe her. Sonic and his friends should be cool, so...yea...no risks whatsoever."

"Just in case..." Peach walked to her room and came back. "Here, take these. I toke them from Bowser's castle."

She gave Luigi and Yoshi Special Koopa Scepters. "These will be like cell phones, we can talk on it AND teleport each other. All voice-activated too."

"Sweet." Yoshi responded.

"Nice-a. Thank you, Peach." Luigi said.

"Princess, our boat's ready." Toadsworth called.

"Coming." Princess Peach ran to the boat, as it departed.

"Well...guess I'm getting my own-a ride."

"Iight, see ya, Lou." Yoshi ran off.

Luigi started walking away from the castle.

The scene cuts to Mario, slipping his s'penders back on.

"You were awesome." Pauline kissed Mario.

"Yeah, that's-a...kinda my thing." Mario chuckled.

The two heard Donkey Kong walking up to Pauline's house.

"Quick, hide under the bed!" Pauline pushed Mario under the bed, as Pauline grabbed a book.

Donkey Kong came up to Pauline's window. "Ooh-ahh-ahh."

"Hiya, D.K.!" Pauline waved fast to the giant ape.

"Ooh-ooh?" Donkey Kong asked.

"N-No...not hiding anything or anyone."

Mario sneezed.

"AHH AHH *** OOH OOH AH!" Donkey Kong was pissed to see Mario.

"No, Donkey Kong, NO!" Pauline cried.

Donkey Kong reached under the bed and had Mario in his palm. "OOH OOH AHH AHH **** YOU! ****ing OOH AAH AAH!"

Mario punched Donkey Kong in the right eye.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Donkey Kong cried, as he threw Mario.

Mario landed on the moon. "Owwwww..."

A moon cleft came up to him.

"Aw ****-a." Mario cussed, as the moon cleft jumped on him.

"This is what you get for killing my brother!" The moon cleft stabbed Mario in the butt with his spikes.

"YEEEOWIE!"

"Yeah, you like it? Wants some more? WELL HERE YOU GO! YOU CAN HAVE ALL MY SPIKES EVERYWHERE!" The moon cleft jumped up and landed on Mario's head.

"OOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

The scene cuts back to Luigi, still walking.

"Darn-a it! I wish I were in Sonic the Hedgehog's-a house-a right now." Luigi whined.

Just then, something strange happened; his Special Koopa Scepter started to glow. "What the-"

Luigi was transported right into The Blue Blur's house. "W-W-What the heck just-a happened?!" He looked around. "I-I-I must-a be in Sonic's house-a."

It was 2 in the morning and Sonic had heard something in his living room, as he came speeding down the stairs. "What the- Luigi? What are YOU doing in my house at two in the morning?"

"It's-a Mario, he's gone-a CRAZY."

"What happened?" Sonic yawned.

"Mario is a psychopath. Everyone he's ever-a talked to including-a me...he doesn't care. He actually wants to kill us-a all." Luigi cried.

"W-W-What?...Huh..I knew SOMETHING was up. Well...what are we gonna do about it?"

"Tell EVERYONE. We're gonna band together and-a either kill-a Mario or at least-a get him arrested."

"Well...alright. Let's kick his butt if not kill him."

"Good-a idea...he needs to learn a lesson."

"Okay Luigi, leave it to me. I'll get everyone."

"Great. Thanks-a, Sonic."

"No prob. I just need ONE thing from you."

"What's-a that?"

"Is there a way that I could get a hold of a few items from your world?"

"S-S-Sure...l-like-a what?"

"Some Mini Mushrooms, Fire Flowers, Ice Flowers, Stars, Mega Mushrooms and any other power-ups you got back in your world."

"Basically...a little bit of-a everything?"

"Yeah, pretty much. Tails could experiment with them and stop Eggman for good."

"Okie dokie, Sonic."

"Thanks, bud. I'll get callin people right now." Sonic got on his cell phone and put it on speaker. "Silver, bro, we gotta stop Mario."

"What? Why?"

"He's a psycho trying to kill us."

"Holy crap!"

"I know right!"

"I wish I were with-a Yoshi!" Luigi commanded, as the Special Koopa Scepter transported him.

"Sonic, what was that?" Silver asked over the phone.

"Luigi was just here." Sonic answered.

"I'll call Shadow, you call Tails."

"Alright."

Sonic hung up and called Tails.

The scene cuts to Yoshi, talking to a blue yoshi. "Yeah, so get the others in on it."

"Yoshi!" Luigi greeted. "Got Sonic and his friends-a in!"

"Cool. The yoshis are gonna help us out too." Yoshi answered.

Luigi grabbed Yoshi's hand. "I wish that-a we were wherever Princess Peach-a is!"

The Special Koopa Scepters activated and transported Luigi and Yoshi, as the scene changes again.

The two were now transported to Rougeport.

"And that's why you need to help us." Peach finished.

"What's that, Princess? Mario ol' boy's a landlubber? ARRRRG I don't believe it." Bobbery grumbled.

"Hi-"

Yoshi cut Luigi off. "Yo, Captain Crunch!"

"What is it, Yoshi?" Bobbery asked.

"You remember how Mario reunited you and your old lady?"

"Aye. What about it?"

"My cousin, The Great Gonzalez Jr. said that Mario actually only did that so yo raggedy ass would help out."

"ARR?!"

"Yeah, THAT lyin' son of a b**** said all of dat sh** just so you would help him out. He only stopped da Shadow Queen because y'all was trippin'. He originally wanted to harness her power for his own sh**."

"YEEEARRRG! Mario ol' boy duped us?"

"Yeeup. Pretty much."

"ARRG! 'Oy, Princess Peach...sorry that I doubted you. I suppose that me darling Scarlet would want me to help ye'. Count me in."

"Also, Mario said and I quote..."Scarlet can go **** herself"." Yoshi added.

"WHAT THE F***?! MARIO THINKS HE CAN TALK ABOUT MY SCARLET LIKE THAT?!"

"Yea, I think that we should teach him a lil lesson." Yoshi cracked his knuckles.

"I'LL BOMB THE SH** OUT OF HIM AND I'LL GET CORTEZ TO SUCK HIS SOUL FROM HIM! Get the others."

"Yea, iight. Aye, aye, Captain."

Luigi walked into Professor Frankley's house.

Professor Frankley and Goombella were reading about Bonetail.

"Luigi!" Goombella hugged the green plumber.

"Hiya Goombella. Hello-a, Professor Frankley."

"Why Luigi, what a nice surprise. How are you, my boy?" Professor Frankley greeted.

"Not-a good."

"Why, what happened?" Goombella asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Mario."

"What about him?"

"He's-a gone insane. He's always been but still, he's trying to kill us all. He's never liked ANY of us."

"Don't say that, Luigi. He's always been heroic and brave and good."

"But it's-a true."

"What makes you say that?" Wondered Professor Frankley.

"Because he said so himself-a. He's after EVERYONE and EVERYTHING." Luigi answered. "He's cheated, murdered and all kinds of-a crazy crap."

Goombella started to cry.

"Are you okay-a Goombella?"

"Yeah...just..."

"Hm?"

"I kinda liked him before...but NOW you're saying he's as bad as The Shadow Queen?"

"Yes-a. I'd NEVER lie. He cheated on Peach with-a Pauline and-a Daisy. And threw a knife into Toadsworth's-a shoulder."

"What shall we do, Luigi?" Professor Frankley asked.

"Crystal Stars?"

"OH NO...too dangerous. Besides, Mario has them, remember?"

"Oh yeah." Luigi sighed.

"-CONTROL!" Shadow the Hedgehog came with a flash.

"Shadow!" Everyone gasped.

"I heard what you said about the Crystal Stars with a device I stole from the doctor."

"What about them?" Professor Frankley asked.

"Well..."you know who" said I just HAD to make an appearance and joke before the whole "meet up with you guys and Sonic's friends" scene." Shadow answered calmly.

"And what's that?" Yoshi asked.

"SEGA DOES WHAT NINTEN-DON'T, BIT**ES! CHAOS EMERALDS BEFORE CRYSTAL STARS! WE BEAT YOU ON THAT ONE!" Shadow yelled. "See ya, d*cks! CHAOS...CONTROL!"

Shadow disappeared.

"Well...THAT was unnecessary.." Peach commented.

Luigi looked into the shadows, noticing Jack Daniel Flame and smirked with an eyebrow raised. "Really? The "Sega does what Ninten-DON'T" joke cliche?"

Jack Daniel Flame just nervously chuckled and shrugged his shoulders with a sweat drop on the side of his head. He then typed on his keyboard and disappeared with a flash.

"MMM-hmmm. That's wassup I guess." Yoshi just shrugged it off. "Yo, Luigi, we better get back home."

"I wish Peach, Yoshi and-a I were back at the castle!" Luigi commanded, as the Special Koopa Scepter transported them once more.

"Gosh, that was exhausting." Peach groaned.

"We need to do more tomorrow." Yoshi responded.

"Ooooohh.." Luigi fell on Peach's bed.

Peach and Yoshi giggled.

"Yo, Peach, is it cool that we crash here tonight?"

"Yeah, I guess that that's okay."

Luigi snored. "Peach, no worries. We'll protect you." He snored again.

Peach just got on the other side of the bed, as Yoshi just layed on the floor.

Yoshi fell asleep.

Peach looked around. She snuggled her head next to Luigi.

The Next Morning...

Luigi woke up with a stretch and a yawn. Yoshi was gone.

Luigi turned his head and saw Peach snuggling with him, as he smiled a bit. He closed his eyes again, for another minute.

"Yo, Luigi! Peach!" Yoshi called, making the plumber in green's eyes snap wide open. "You two love-birds comin' for breakfast or what? You people NEVER miss a pancake breakfast."

Peach woke up, as Luigi sprung from the bed.

"We're NOT-A love-birds. And yes, I'm-a coming."

"Iight, well, you better come FAST because..."

"Because-a why?"

"I'M GONNA EAT ALL OF THOSE DAMN PANCAKES IF YOU DON'T!" Yoshi and Luigi were play racing to the table.

"Hey, wait for me! I want pancakes too..." Peach giggled and ran after the two.

The trio hurried and sat at the table.

"Why, what a lovely surprise. Good morning, Masters Yoshi and Luigi. Good morning, princess." Toadsworth cheerfully greeted, serving them pancakes with butter, maple syrup and fruit.

They all ate up.

"So-a...time to meet up with-a Sonic?" Luigi asked.

"Yea." Yoshi answered.

They transported to back to Station Square.

"Sup, Sonic! My nigga." Yoshi fist-bumped Sonic.

"Hey. Guys, we're ready for anything." Sonic claimed, as his friends nodded and posed.

"I'm tougher then leather! I'm ready to kick that dumbass plumber in his wrap-pipe!" Knuckles banged his fists together.

Cream started to cry.

"What's the matter, Cream?" Asked Amy.

"Mario said that he liked my flowers. HE LIED!" Cream sobbed.

Shadow face-palmed himself. "So, when's the pain happening? I'm gonna make him REGRET calling Maria "a hoe"."

Luigi looked at Yoshi. "You're good with-a words, aren't you?"

"Shhhh," Yoshi answered. "Don't blow my cover."

"Hey, guys! Where the donuts at?" Vector asked.

"I LIKE DONUTS!" Big blurted.

"Yo, shut the **** up! There ain't no donuts." Yoshi snapped.

"So...is it too late to say Mario could be cured?" Knuckles asked.

"I...think-a so." Luigi answered.

"Well...time to take out the trash." Sonic commented, getting into battle stance.

"Let's-a look for-a Mario at-a Pauline's-a house. He was there-a last." Luigi announced. "I'm-a gonna go get Wario and-a Waluigi."

"Luigi," Peach started.

"Yes-a, princess?" Luigi asked.

"I lov-..." Peach cut herself off, as she blushed.

"Hm?" Luigi was confused, scratching his head. "What?"

"I'll...look for Daisy. I need to get her to...get uh...more toads?" Peach made up a cover quick.

"Oh, okay. I'll be right-a back." Luigi walked away.

"Yo, Peach...you okay?" Yoshi asked.

Peach ran away.

"The f***?" He said under his breath. "Meh. Yo, Sonic! You got everyone here?"

"Yep. I hope that we find Mario soon because my fists are ITCHING to punch his stupid-looking mustached face!" Sonic was stretching, preparing for battle.

"Nice. Knux, how's you and Rouge? Is it on and off in bed or what?" Yoshi teased.

Knuckles blushed heavily. "THE HELL ARE YOU TALKIN ABOUT, YOSHI?!"

"Nope...at least...not yet." Rouge winked at Knuckles.

"RRRRRRRRRRR! I HATE YOU PEOPLE!" Knuckles growled, punching a tree, making it fall down instantly.

Yoshi giggled. "Chill, nigga. Use that fury on Mario!'

Knuckles toke a deep breath, trying to calm down. "Fine...but we better hurry."

"You know you LIKE his idea though, Knuckie. Just admit it." Rouge flirted.

Knuckles crossed his arms and turned his back.

"Hey, Knuckle-head...why you all grumpy? Did ya miss your nap-time?" Sonic joked, earning laughs from the group.

"Let me re-phrase that...Fine...but we better hurry before I start punching blue hedgehogs." Knuckles smirked.

A sweat drop appeared on the side of Sonic's head.

The scene changes to Peach, sitting on a swing next to a beautiful cherry tree, crying.

Toadette walked up to the princess in pink. "What's wrong, princess?"

"N-N-Nothing...Mario's just a dick so I dumped him. And now I'm getting..."new thoughts"." Peach sobbed.

"What kind of new thoughts?"

"I...I...I think I love someone else."

"Who?"

"Luigi."

Toadette let out a fan-girl scream and started clapping. "Just tell him how you feel."

"But I don't KNOW for sure if I like him that way..."

"Okay, then compare him and Mario."

"How?"

"Heehee...you just have to find that out for yourself. Bye-bye for now, Peach. Toad and I are having a picnic today." She walked away.

Peach just sat there wondering about what Toadette meant.

Peach is getting...strange feelings now. Luigi's gonna try to convince Wario and Waluigi to help get back at Mario. What will happen next? Who's gonna stab whom in the back? And what the heck happened to those donuts Luigi and Yoshi were talking about last chapter?! Find out in the next chapter!