The Pizza Marathon

Jedi Goat

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars. However, I did create 'Girly Man'.

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Chapter 2: It's a Bird, It's a Plane… IT'S GIRLY MAN!

Padmé stuffed the pizza box in the garbage, and then headed to the laundry room to drop off the sock and her robes. On her way back up to the bedroom, she saw a man with gold-streaked hair standing in the front doorway. It took her a moment to realize he was one of Anakin's fellow Jedi Knights.

"Oh! Hello, Ferus," Padmé said, flustered that she hadn't noticed his arrival.

Ferus nodded, "Hello, Padmé. I'm here to speak with Anakin."

Before Padmé could reply, a voice screamed from upstairs, "PADMÉ! HAVE YOU SEEN MY CD?"

Padmé stepped to the bottom of the stairwell and called up, "Which one?"

Anakin poked his head out of the bedroom, his face red with embarrassment. "The one I was playing before you came home."

"Which was…?"

Anakin blushed even more. "My Shania Twain CD!" he hissed. Unfortunately, Ferus arrived at the base of the steps at that moment.

"What's going on?" he inquired. Anakin stared at Ferus in horror.

"NOOOOOO! He knows my secret!"

"What secret?" Ferus asked calmly.

Anakin opened his mouth and then closed it. "I'm a super hero," he declared stubbornly. "I can't reveal my secret identity."

Padmé gasped. "Annie! You're a super hero! That's wonderful!" she hugged him.

"That's right!" Anakin said proudly, puffing out his chest. "I'm…"

Anakin did a funky dance and struck a pose. "GIRLY MAN!"

While Padmé stared in awe and Anakin swelled with pride, Ferus fell to the ground, laughing hysterically. Anakin looked down, his bubble burst.

Suddenly Anakin ignited his lightsaber. "How DARE you laugh at Girly Man! I squish you now!" Anakin advanced on Ferus, who lay on the ground, no longer laughing.

Padmé watched in horror. Suddenly a brown and white form flew around the corner, heading straight for the blue blade.

"NOOOO!" Padmé screamed, jumping between them before the collision occurred. A five-year old child smashed into Padmé, and she quickly grabbed him protectively. Then she caught sight of his face.

"LUKE SKYWALKER! WHAT DID YOU DO NOW!" Then, in the same breath, Padmé turned on Anakin. "AND YOU! ATTACKING OUR GUEST! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!"

Padmé took a deep breath and stared at the terrified Luke. Her gaze softened and she kneeled down next to her son. "Okay, honey, tell mommy what happened."

Luke blinked at her, confused by her abrupt change in behavior. Then he said quietly, "The blender exploded, Mom."

Padmé absorbed this in shock. "Wh-what?"

"Don't be angry, please," Luke pleaded with puppy dog eyes. Padmé melted at the look and hugged him.

Meanwhile, Ferus slowly got to his feet. "I'll be going now," he said to no one in particular, inching toward the door. Then, seeing as no one was following him, he made a break for it. The door slammed behind him.

A few moments later, Padmé took Luke into the kitchen to get him cleaned up. She ordered Anakin to get back to work upstairs.

The front door opened and Padmé glimpsed a redheaded woman before both she and Luke were ensconced in a hug.

"Hi!" chirped Darra, another Jedi Knight, cheerfully. When she finally released Padmé and Luke, Padmé noticed with disdain that her clean clothes were now covered with the slimy stuff from Luke's face.

Darra's robes were also soiled, but she paid them no mind. "I brought cookies!" she announced brightly, handing a big container to Luke. He pried it open excitedly.

"Hope y'all like chocolate chip!" Darra grinned as she pranced out.

All was silent for a moment, broken only by the sound of Luke crunching on the cookies.

Then, another voice called, "Hello?"

Padmé snapped. She stomped into the living room and grabbed a shocked Obi-Wan by the braid. Even though he was a Jedi Master, Obi-Wan still wore the usual Padawan hairdo. "This – is – not – an – open – house," she snarled, dragging him toward the exit.

"But your house is listed in the 'Places Where Jedi May Go After A Jedi Turns To The Dark Side And Tries To Kill All The Other Jedi'!" protested Obi-Wan.

"I don't care!" Padmé yelled, pushing him outside. She slammed the door and leaned against it, panting. They really needed to get an unlisted address.

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Author's Note: Sorry about the short chapter...oh well.