Hurtful words chapter two
Hiccup slept well this night. Despite the difficulties of integrating the dragons to Berk, changing the minds of the Vikings and relearning how to walk Hiccup managed to sleep well because he knew he could count with the others. He could count with Astrid helping him, because she said she would be there for him.
The talk she had with him before he went to his house stirred inside him a desire to keep trying to make dragons and Vikings coexist, no matter how hard it would be. He hasn't felt like this since the Red Death's Battle, which wasn't much to say considering between that day and this night Hiccup was mostly in a coma.
Still, he was optimistic. And because of this the dead dragon did not come to haunt his dreams.
Hiccup awoke up feeling well rested, which was a surprise. It has been weeks since he had a good night of sleep. "Good morning Toothless." He said to his dragon, which returned his greeting with a gummy smile. It seemed that Hiccup's good mood affected Toothless as well, as the dragon happily bounced on his rider to lick him.
"Okay, okay." Hiccup said between laughs, "You can get your tongue off from me now." He said amusedly, helpless against Toothless' licks. "One would think that you thought I was a Haddock, literally, given how you were licking me." He joked, earning a disgusted look from his dragon. To him it seemed that Toothless wasn't fond of human meat, not that he had much on himself if Toothless was to eat him whole.
"Can you help me get up bud?" He asked. While he could fly Toothless sometimes, and even walk by himself, his leg wasn't strong enough to allow him to rise from bed all by himself. Usually he didn't like asking for Toothless' help, but he was in a good mood this day, so asking it didn't bother him.
He was mildly surprised, as he left his room and climbed downstairs, to find his father waiting for him, with breakfast on the table. "Morning dad." He said while sitting on the table so Toothless could be free to eat his breakfast. He had, once again, to resist the urge to flinch in disgust when the noise of fish falling off the basket reached his ears.
"Good morning son." Stoick replied, his tone happier than the usual, even though Hiccup didn't notice it. Their breakfast was quiet since, while they were making up for the years Stoick kept himself distant from Hiccup the awkwardness of speaking to one another was still present.
Hiccup left his house as soon as he finished breakfast. The sun was already up in the air, and the village busting with activity as usual. His first stop was at the blacksmith, since he has been visiting the blacksmith to relearn how to walk from the moment he awoke from his coma. He leaned on Toothless the whole way between his house and the blacksmith, more because he didn't want to tired quicker during Gobber's lessons than out of need.
"Ah, morning Hiccup." Gobber said, slightly surprised, when he heard the door opening. He had been half-expecting that Hiccup would not come this day to have his walking lessons after last night's event. But, as he studied his apprentice's face, those events seemed to not have unfazed Hiccup's determination on learning how to walk easily with the prosthesis. "Give me a moment while I fetch our stuff." He added.
The lesson was mostly uneventful, until the end. Hiccup was about to leave the blacksmith when he clutched tightly onto his leg while gritting his teeth in pain. Gobber, surprised to see his apprentice in such state after a smooth session, immediately sat Hiccup on a stove before unwrapping the ropes of the prosthesis from his leg.
"Ah…" he said after carefully looking at Hiccup's leg. "The leg is completely fine. No signs of bruises or anything of the sort. Yeh must be feeling phantom pain." He said with a faint hint of sadness. Hiccup groaned quietly when he heard his mentor's words. The phantom pain was not mysterious to none of them, but Hiccup was still not used to it, whereas Gobber, while no longer feeling it, felt sorry for seeing his apprentice dealing with it.
"Nothing will make it go away, not even Gothi's tea." Gobber said while placing his hand on Hiccup's shoulder. "But it also won't stop yeh from walking. Just don't extent yehrself too much or yeh'll get tired too quickly." He added, hoping that his words would stir some optimism inside the boy.
Much to his relief he earned a grateful smile from Hiccup. "Thanks Gobber." He said, seemingly with his good mood intact even though his voice carried a slightly pained tone. He left the blacksmith with the help of Toothless, and strode through the town on watch for any confusion that might involve dragons.
He spotted Astrid when he was passing near her house and waved. However she didn't answer him back, as she apparently didn't see him. Moreover she hopped on Stormfly and flew directly above him without even batting an eye, and Hiccup watched with a confused face as she was joined by Snotlout and the Twins, probably wanting to race a lap around the island.
He turned his head to look at his scaly friend and, as he expected, the dark dragon had an expectant look on his face. "Sorry bud." Hiccup apologized, "I don't think I'll be able to help you fly while feeling this pain. It's better if we don't risk it." He added, earning a croon from Toothless. The dragon wanted to fly, it was what he loved the most to do with Hiccup, but also didn't want to put themselves, especially Hiccup, at unnecessary risk.
They kept walking through the village for another hour before deciding to go to the forest. Curiously enough Hiccup saw no issues with dragons arise, and it was only because of this that he allowed himself to head for the forest to sketch a bit.
He mounted Toothless on the way only for the sake of taking less time to arrive to a section of the forest he wanted to draw. He didn't like straddling the dragon while they were on land, since he felt it demoralized Toothless to a mere animal like a horse. For him Toothless was as human as Gobber, with the exception of his black scales.
He arrived at home briefly before the sun was set, and the stars were shining above Berk. He found his father stroking the fire while cooking, and considering how the vast man was not holding a block of ice on his head Hiccup guessed that things kept calm during his stay. "Hey dad…" He greeted before yawning. The phantom pain had taken almost an hour to go away, leaving Hiccup incredibly tired for withstanding it.
"Hello son, dinner will be coming out soon. I decided to make us some stew, since today was unusually quiet." His father said, confirming Hiccup's suspiciousness that the village was quiet the whole day. He didn't know why, especially considering how the last day had been very agitated, but wouldn't dare to complain.
Before he could thank his father for making dinner for him (Hiccup forgot to have lunch as he was too focused on drawing a new section of the forest he had found with Toothless) his belly growled as the scent of stew reached his nose. Hiccup blushed while Stoick laughed at the sound. "Well, it seems it's a good thing I'm cooking dinner." The vast man quipped.
Dinner was quiet, but it had a comfortable silence instead of the awkward one. Stoick could see how Hiccup was tired so he resigned himself from trying to start a conversation, while Hiccup was only focused on eating his stew and filling his belly with the food he should have eaten throughout the day.
After dinner he collapsed on his bed, and barely managed to mumble a good night to Toothless before the land of the dreams claimed him. Toothless kept watching his friend for until an hour after Hiccup slept. It was usually when he started giving signs that he was dreaming about the battle. But, when the boy kept steady the Night Fury concluded Hiccup would have an easy night, and decided to sleep.
The next couple of days weren't too different from this one. And it would have been a good thing for Hiccup if not for one little thing.
Astrid didn't speak to him.
The phantom pain was as quickly gone as it arrived these days, but lasted long enough for him to be grounded by it, consequently grounding Toothless as well. The issues with dragons were few, and he unfortunate enough to be near when they arrived, except for a couple of times when it was his father who resolved it.
The teens kept flying around the island, and the few times Hiccup saw Astrid she didn't even acknowledge him. He reasoned that he always took off to join them without needing to be called, but after being grounded five days he was wondering why none of them, especially Astrid, bothered to check why he wasn't flying with Toothless.
The good mood he had after returning home slowly depredated as the days passed. Gobber would have noticed had he not been busy rebuilding the weapons and pieces for the boats. Since the issues with the dragons diminished he was bombarded with requests for boat pieces and weapons. It was reasonable, since he had not had the time to build them since their return from the Nest.
On the fifth day Hiccup barely ate the food before him and even the honeyed meat his father offered him did little to brighten his mood. Stoick would have been concerned, but he thought that Hiccup was simply tired again and decided to let his son alone.
Toothless crooned in worry when Hiccup tucked himself in the bed. He was, apparently, the only one to notice the slow change in Hiccup's mood, and was slightly scared because he didn't know why it happened. Hiccup didn't have a nightmare for almost a week, and was hanging around in the forest just as he liked to do. The Night Fury found odd that the blond one didn't speak to either of them these past days, but brushed this fact aside.
"Thanks bud…" Hiccup murmured with a sad voice as his hand weakly patted Toothless' head. "At least someone still remembers me…" He mumbled while shifting his body so he could gaze to gaze at the ceiling. "She said she'd be here when I needed, that I had her and the others now. That things would be different from how they were before… before you…"
"It was supposed to be reassuring words, you know" He commented, and Toothless listened quietly. It seemed to him that his rider was finally letting out what was dampening his mood so much these days. "It was supposed to be comforting words… but in the end, it only became hurtful words. She isn't here as she promised. It's only you and me, as it was before the battle…" He quietly added.
Toothless crooned sadly, feeling both sad and angry that the blonde's absence was hurting his rider. Instead of sleeping on his rock bed as he usually did Toothless rested his head on Hiccup's belly and adjusted himself so he could sleep right at his rider's side. His eyes caught Hiccup smiling to him before slowly drifting into sleep.
He didn't leave the house the next day. Fortunately though, this day Stoick had not cooked breakfast. He rose earlier than usual from the bed to oversee the construction of Berk's fleet; they were in dire need of one.
His room was filled with sketches of numerous things, ranging from a forest landscape to ideas for saddles and improvements to Toothless' saddle. Hiccup did rise from his bed, but instead of going downstairs to leave the house he just grabbed a couple of breads and returned to his room. He sat on his chair and started to sketch some ideas on the journal on his table.
Gobber did notice this day that Hiccup had not come to his lesson, but decided to brush it aside. The boy came ever since he awoke from his coma, so he was bound to need some rest on day. The blacksmith mused that the reason of why Hiccup didn't come was because the boy finally wanted to rest some more, and instead of needless worrying he decided to focus on making the nails for the boats.
Astrid flew once again with the teens. Snotlout had had the idea of creating a Dragon Race, so they spent the last days deciding on a course to race. She had seen Hiccup briefly, and guessed that he had some reason to not be flying with Toothless. But this day not once she saw him when they flew over the village.
Understandably she was quite worried when night arrived.
The Chief was still busy overseeing the building of the ships. Unlike the rest of the village the harbor was buzzing with activity and illuminated as the Vikings kept working on the ships while under the light of the torches. Gobber, meanwhile, was still in his forge making nails and any other pieces they may required.
The teens were all tired from flying all day. And as soon as they landed every one of them went to their houses to eat some stew and get some sleep, all but Astrid. So, since everyone was busy, she decided to pay Hiccup a visit.
Even though she kept visiting Hiccup while he was in a coma Astrid still felt nervous and small when she quietly opened the door of the Chief's house. Had she not seen a faint light coming from Hiccup's room she would have thought he was asleep and left the house without even fully entering it.
"Hiccup?" she called to be sure he wasn't asleep. It would have not been unusual to see Hiccup asleep on his drawings while his candle was still lit. Gobber, when Hiccup was in a coma, told her some stories of Hiccup, and the sight of the boy asleep on his drawings inside the forge was one of Gobber's favorite.
She was surprised to find him sketching when she entered his room. She half expected him to be asleep since he didn't answer her call. "Hiccup…? Why didn't you say anything? I thought you were asleep." She spoke while studying the mess that his room was. Sketches were all over it, and there were a couple of mugs and bread pieces on his table.
Still, he kept silent.
"Hiccup…?" she said while slowly approaching him, "Did something happen? Did you and your father argued again?" She asked, only to be met with silence again. She glanced at Toothless, and felt her worry increase when the dragon looked at her with worried and angry eyes.
"Hiccup…" she said while placing a hand on his shoulder. Still, this wasn't enough to make him stop sketching, although to Astrid it didn't seem he was sketching one of his ideas. "Hiccup… stop and look at Me." she added while gently turning his head with her other hand.
Even when she turned his head he still didn't look at her. This simple action, or the lack of it, was enough to make Astrid's heart ache in hurt while she removed her hands. "Hiccup… why aren't you looking at me? Did I do something wrong?" she asked.
"You weren't here when I needed you…" he mumbled, his eyes glancing at every inch of his room but her.
"I weren't… Hiccup, what are you talking about?" Astrid said confused.
"I said you weren't here when I needed you!" He retorted. It seemed that he wanted to sound harsh, but for some reason could only sound desolate. Astrid felt torn between being angry, confused, and sorry for seeing Hiccup in such state.
"I was busy Hiccup. If something happened then why didn't you search me? I told you I'd be here for you." She answered slowly, since she was unsure of what Hiccup was talking about.
"I did!" he retorted, this time stronger. "It was noticed. I search for you but you were always somewhere else, if not flying. I waved at you, but you didn't even acknowledge you. I spent nearly a week not able to fly with Toothless because of this damned phantom pain and not once you thought of coming to me to ask why I wasn't flying."
"You said you'd be here… but you weren't. I understand you were busy, but no one is busy the whole day for several days straight. I'm not asking for you to be near me all the time. I just wanted you to keep your word…" He said quietly. "Now, please, leave me alone. I'm going to sleep…" He added.
Astrid opened her mouth, but no words came out of it. She wanted to be angry at him, to punch him in the arm for being such a fool, but at the same time a small part of her could see how he was right.
She had been so busy with creating the Dragon Race Snotlout suggested that she forgot to keep him in check. She knew he tended to bottle up things; it was a natural response he built up from years of being shunned by everyone, so she should have been more careful with him. After all he had gone missing for the entire day not even a week ago.
So, in the end, she closed her mouth, nodded and quietly left the house. She felt both angry and guilty, and felt like this even while eating, and later on her sleep. Hiccup, though, only felt miserable. To him, Astrid had broken her word, and therefore, the only support he had. She was his rock, his anchor on a raging ocean. And now he was alone against the ravaging sea.
Toothless could only do so much as a dragon…
In this night he wept until he fell asleep…
