Eventually, Beckett managed to get her 'outburst' under control, dialling it down to a tight lipped grin and the occasional splutter that broke free when it was just too big to contain. Castle scowled at her but she didn't notice; every time she looked him in the eye she had to fight for control of her laughter again so she'd simply stopped looking and attempted to bury herself in the mountain of paperwork she'd accumulated.
"It wasn't that funny!" Castle hissed, unsure whether this was an attempt to convince himself or Beckett.
Giggle.
"Come on, it wasn't!" The '9 year old on a sugar rush' had definitely come down from his high with an almighty bump. Unimpressed at being the victim – as opposed to the perpetrator – of ridicule, Castle got to his feet and turned in the direction of Ryan and Esposito, who'd reconvened in the break room. "If you're going to act like a child I'm going to leave you here on your own for time out!" he said, wagging his finger at her in a half-hearted effort at discipline before walking away.
Beckett fought so hard not to laugh at him again that she ended up both spluttering and snorting as a result, surprising even herself. She threw an open hand to her mouth to create an extra barrier for the sounds to break through.
Hearing this, half way to the break room, Castle stopped and doubled back on himself to return to the side of Beckett's desk, "and this…" he announced, snatching the pen from her idle hand as he narrowed his eyes at her defiantly, "…this is mine!" he added as he stomped away with his now fully-unleashed toddler temper in tow.
'No wonder Alexis is the parent in that relationship' she chuckled to herself, returning to stare at her paperwork in a bid to regain self-control.
Castle sidled into the break room and toward the seat between Ryan and Espo.
"Hey man, careful there. Want me to hold on to the chair for you so you don't fall off?" goaded Esposito.
"Yeah, wouldn't want you to hurt yourself now would we?" Ryan joined in. Castle let out a sarcastic laugh, now way past seeing the funny side of things. As he began to let himself fall into the chair he was startled by the simultaneous shouting of the boys.
"Woah!"
"Wait!"
He tried to stop himself but it was too late, he'd already dropped too far and couldn't help but land in the chair. As soon as his cheeks touched the seat his reactions caused him to bounce straight back up again, much like a bouncy ball thrown against the pavement. He spun round to face the source of his confusion.
"What? What is it?" he said, the adrenaline coursing through his veins causing his voice to sound shakier and more desperate than he had intended. Without a word between them and in perfect synchronisation, Ryan and Esposito each grabbed a leg of the chair Castle was about to sit on.
"Now, you may sit" declared Ryan, donning his best straight faced detective look.
"Only looking out for you, dude" finished Espo, complete with matching poker face.
"Ha, ha, ha." Castle's words were slow and deliberate, a mocking smile upon his face. "You're so funny", his last words coming out short and fast and the smile falling from his face, replaced with childlike scorn as the guys sat about cackling to themselves like two little girls in a playground. The detectives turned to one another and engaged in a congratulatory fist bump.
"Only messing with ya, bro." Espo teased, "You wanted to be one of us, now you are; perfect banter fodder. Gonna take a lot for you to live that one down!"
"Hmmm." Suddenly being 'one of the guys' wasn't so appealing to Castle if this was what he was going to have to put up with until the next time he did something stupid. 'Thinking about it, it probably won't be that long until the moment arises' he considered.
"What were you doing in Beckett's desk anyway?" Ryan asked, swigging at his 'cleanser'.
"Oh, er, yeah." Castle stuttered, remembering why he'd come to see the guys in the first place. "I was looking for something, something that will help me work out her magic number."
"Her magic number? Does she know about this?" This time it was Esposito doing the questioning.
"Of course! As if I'd look for something like that without her knowing." The guys just looked at him, eyebrows raised. "Yeah, okay. Point taken. But it was her idea, well sorta." Ryan and Esposito sat back in their chairs and crossed their arms, Castle's cue to continue. "She said that she wouldn't tell me her number but," he turned to Ryan, "I have until you say 'I do' to work it out for myself." He paused a moment, let the boys get used to the idea. "Now, I may not have come through the Academy, but I reckon I'm capable of a little detective work."
Ryan and Espo scoffed and Castle could swear their mumblings were something along the lines of 'Sure you are, Sherlock' and 'With that haircut?' but he pretended he hadn't heard and continued.
"I had no luck with her desk but I reckon you two, my men, can be of service." He draped an arm round each of their shoulders, a pleading smile on his face.
Esposito brushed Castle's hand from its resting place, "Dude!"
Castle reclaimed his limbs and placed them on his knees. "Ah, too far. I got it" he whispered sheepishly raising his hands in apology.
"Wha'dya wanna know?" Ryan interjected, 'detective mode' fully established.
"Well," Castle began, his self-assured confidence creeping back in. "You've known Beckett how long…7…8 years?" he chanced.
"About that, yeah" Esposito was beginning to get a little suspicious. "So…"
"So…" Castle drew a deep breath, "So, I want you to tell me what you know, or rather who you know." Ryan and Esposito just stared at each other and rolled their eyes. Castle continued, "So far, I know about Demming, Josh and Sorenson" he counted the men off on his fingers "…there's gotta be more that came through here before I was around. You guys have years on me round this joint, you've known her longer than I have therefore you know more than I do."
Ryan's eyes widened. "Did you just admit that we know more than you do?"
"No, no" Castle desperately tried to backtrack, recant his statement. "No, I just meant that you know more about Beckett's past because…because…" drat, his words were disappearing again. "…because you were part of her past before she even knew me." He sat back in his chair, smugly satisfied at his navigation around that potential pit fall.
"Let's see…" Espo began.
"There was that 'actor'" Ryan recalled, complete with air quotes. Castle pulled out a notepad from his inside pocket and clicked the top of the pen still in his hand from when he stole it off of Beckett. He poised it over the crumpled paper ready to take notes, 'just like a real detective' he decided.
"What was his name again?"
"Nathan! It was Nathan."
"Yeah, that was it. And she saw that guy Dale briefly." Espo started counting off on his fingers.
"Not Dale, Dan."
"Dale!"
"Dan!"
"Dale!"
"Dan! Dale was just some guy she worked out with after hours." Castle's ears pricked up at this and he lifted his eyes from his notepad. "In the gym! Jeez Castle, get your mind out of the gutter."
"Oh, yeah." Esposito brushed off his mistake, powering on with the list "And then before him there was…Mr T! "
"Matthew T. Kirkwood." Ryan mocked as he remembered the man.
"People ask me what the T in my name stands for." Espo joked, "If you're a man it's 'tough', if you're a woman or child it's 'tender'." The two partners howled in laughter at their own anecdotal gag.
"Stop yo jibber-jabba!" Ryan just couldn't help himself and caused the guys to double over in amusement, their sides aching at the workout. "He was a douche but one hell of a prosecutor."
"Ha, yeah. I pity the fool who defends criminals!" Espo exclaimed as he caught his breath, doing his best 'Mr T' impersonation.
"Gotta teach the fools some basic rules!" Ryan managed through his hysterics.
"I pity the fool!" Castle jumped up, shouting rather over-theatrically. The guys stopped laughing and rested their eyes on Castle. Ryan shook his head, Espo looked disapproving and their straight faces and seriousness returned, the moment of humour dissolving instantly.
"Too far."
"Yeah. Break's over."
With that, the partners took their leave and headed back to their desks.
"Aww, come on guys! Don't be like that. Come back, I'm not done! …Guys?"
A/N I want to say thank you to all of you that have read/reviewed/alerted this story so far. The reviews/messages really put a smile on my face and help me to know what people are after and what you'd like more of, so keep them coming! It seems the general consensus is that it's nice to put some fun back into Castle after all the angst of recent episodes and I hope that I'm managing that. This has been really fun to write and I can't wait to get the next chapters up and running for you guys. Also, sorry to those of you (if any) that unfamiliar with the A Team, the end of this chapter probably went right over your head!
A
