chapter 2

''Castiel!'' Cas could hear his mother's voice, but he couldnt see anything. The kitchen floor was obscured by dancing black dots.
''Castiel, are you alright ?'' Now Cas felt his mother's hands grasping his upper arms, holding him anxiously. The pain was easing and his vision was coming back. As he straightned up, he saw Dean in front of him. His face was almost expressionless, but Cas knew him well enough to recognize the worry in his eyes. He was holding the milk carton, Cas realized. He must have causht it on the fly as he dropped it- amazing reflexes, Cas thought vaguely. Really amazing.
Gabe was on his feet. ''Are you oay ? what happened ?''
''I- dont know.'' Cas looked around, then shrugged, embarrassed. Now that he felt better he wished they weren't all staring at her so hard. The way to deal with the pain was to ignore it to not think about it.
''Its just this stupid pain. You know , something i ate.''

That was enough for Cas' mother. She gave Cas a litle squeeze and headed for the kitchen telephone. ''I know you dont like doctors. but im calling Dr. Singer . I want him to take a look at you. This isnt something we can ignore.''
''Oh, Mom, its vacation...''
His mother covered the mouth piece of the phone. ''Cas, this is nonnegotiable. Go get dressed.''
Cas groaned, but he could see it was no use. He beckoned Dean , who was looking thoughtfully into the distance. Gabe followed them into the hallway.
''Hey, Buddy, you wait out here while he gets dressed.''
Dean barely turned.
''Just keep your hands off my brother.''
Cas just shook his head as he went into his room. As if Dean cared about seeing him undressed. if only , he thought grimly pulling a pair of jeans out of a drawer. He stepped into them , still shaking his head. Dean was his best friend, his very best friend, and he was Deans. But Dean had never shown even the slightest desire to get his hands on Cas. Someday im going to make him see, he thought, and shouted out the door for him. Dean came in and smiled at him. It was a smile other people rarely saw, not a taunting or ironic grin, but a nice little smile , slightly crooked.
''Sorry about the doctor thing,'' Cas said.
''No. You should go.'' Dean gave him a keen glance'
He unwrapped the CD. Cas shrugged and flopped on his bed, staring at the ceiling. ''Anyway , i wish i could just have on day of vacation,'' he said. He craned his neck to watch Dean start the CD. He knew Dean better than anyone , but there was always something, something about him that was closed off to Cas. Something about him that nobody could reach. Other people took it for arrogance, or coldness, or aloofness, but it wasnt really any of those things. It was just-differentness. Just now he moved his eyes over Deans face, at his clean, carven profile and thought he looks sad.
''Deanie , nothings wrong is it? I mean , at home or anything ?'' He was the only person on the planet that was allowed to call him Deanie. Not even Jo or Lisa would have ever dared to attempt it.
''Nothing's wrong at home'' Dean said, with a smile that didnt reach his eyes. He turned away from Castiels gaze ''Maybe im just worried about you Cassie.''

Cas didnt know what had come over him but a cold seriousness had filled his voice as he found himself asking ''Are you really ?''
His seriousness seemed to strike a chord. Deans smile had dissappeared , and Cas found that they were simply looking at each other . Just gazing into each other's eyes.
''Cassie-''
Cas swallowed ''Yes?''
Dean opened his mouth - and then he got up abruptly and went to adjust the speakers. When he turned back , his green eyes were dark and fathomless.
''Sure, if you were really sick, id be worried,'' Dean said lightly '
Cas deflated. ''Right,'' he said wistfully, and then gave a determined smile.
''But your not sick,'' Dean added. ''It's probably just something you ate '' he added.
''Oh, shut up,'' Cas said.
''Here comes your mom,'' Dean said , glancing to the door which was ajar. Cas didint see how he could hear anything above the loud music. But an instant later his mother pushed open the door. '' Dr. Singer says come right in. Sorry Dean, but im going to have to steal Castiel away from you.''
Dean smiled ''Thats okay i can come back this afternoon.''
Cas knew he was defeated. He allowed his mother to tow him to the garage.