Chapter 2 - Angel
She woke from a deep sleep, from a dream that Angelus was gone, Angel was back, she'd stabbed him and fled, and that finally his soul was bound to him, no ands, ifs, or buts. She woke to familiar surroundings, to scarlet sheets, and a darkened room. She realized with a sob that the dream was a reality, with the exception of the soul being bound part. She quickly dressed, and got ready for patrol, as it was after sunset. She opened the door, and bumped into a broad, muscular chest. She raised her head to see who it was, and found herself drowning in deep, serious brown eyes. She wished she could stay like this forever, but knew she couldn't. She went to move past him, but he blocked her, and pushed her back into the now dimly lit apartment. She noticed he was limping slightly as he moved to sit down opposite her, and she choked back a sob. But he must have heard, for he pulled her into a warm and loving, she noticed with joy, bear hug. He said nothing, just soothed her by rubbing her back and running his left hand through her silky hair. Then, she felt his hand squeeze one of her own, and pulled out of his safe arms for the second time that day. She averted her gaze from his face to look at their hands entwined in her lap. He put his free hand under her chin, and she was looking into his eyes. She immediately began to cry, and he held her, whispering,
"It's alright, it's okay, I'm here," and with that said she stood with her back to him, saying,
"No. it's not okay. I made you lose your soul." He was silent, and she spun around to face him. "You did know, right?" she asked him warily.
"I kind of guessed," he muttered. "I-I remember some of the things that I did-"
"That Angelus did," Buffy corrected him.
"What did you mean when you said you made me lose my soul? And how did I get it back?" Angel implored, trying to change the subject. Buffy hesitated before answering him.
"I don't know how you got it back. Probably Willow, as she tried it last night, but failed. You . you lost your soul, due to one moment of pure happiness, from the night of my birthday," she whispered so quietly, that if not for his vampire hearing, Angel wouldn't have heard her. "Ms. Calendar told us . she was a gypsy."
"Was?" Angel questioned, fearing the answer. She looked at him as she sat down beside him, the pain of the last few months clear in her young eyes.
"Angelus . killed her. She was trying to replicate the original curse."
"Oh God." Angel's eyes clouded over with grief and guilt. "Jenny. Oh God, Giles must despise me." He moved to leave, but a small, warm hand on his arm stopped him.
"I admit, upset doesn't even come close to what Giles felt-" she winced at the pain in his eyes, but continued. "I'd say he is still quite upset, but he hates Angelus, not you." Suddenly, she shot up off the bed. "Giles!" she said quickly. "And Willow and the others, too! We should go to the hospital to check on them. She moved into action, but Angel's soft words halted her.
"Did . did I do anything to you?" She hesitated. "What did I do? He prodded, knowing from her short hesitation.
"Well, you did tell my mom that we made love," she began, almost laughing and crying at the same time. "And . the night after my birthday, you . you acted as if that night had meant nothing," she finished, her voice cracking with emotion as she stood, walked a few feet away, and wrapped her arms around herself. She had her back to him, so she didn't notice him move behind her to come behind her, and wrap his strong arms around her tiny waist. She instinctively relaxed against him.
"I'm sorry," he murmured in her ear. "For everything. I'm so sorry." She whirled around to face him.
"You're sorry?" she said in a shaky tone. He went to say something, something she knew he would say, but she continued. "It was Angelus. Not you. Okay? I'm the one who should be sorry," she finished.
"For what?" he asked her. "For giving me true happiness that I've never experienced? For making me feel like a man again? For letting me love you?" She tried to interrupt him, but he didn't let her. "I don't regret that night. I regret the fact that the gypsies didn't curse me properly, and that Angelus was released ." he stopped for a moment, then continued. "But I do not regret that night, and I never will. Every moment I spent in your presence, I'll never forget," he said. She began to smile through her tears. "You know, that night . for the first time in my existence, I had hope of heaven and paradise." She smiled softly, and they both noticed how exhausted they both were.
"We should get some sleep before patrol," Buffy said with a yawn.
"Yeah," he agreed, and stood.
"Where are you going?"
"To sleep on the sofa," he said, his shoulders slumping.
"Don't you want to sleep with me?" she asked quietly. He winced at her choice of words. "Sorry," she realized her words, and silently cursed herself. "I mean, do you not want to stay here? I want you to," she finished almost shyly. He looked at her. She looked so fragile and vulnerable that he just wanted to collect her in his arms, and rock her to sleep. "Would you mind staying here and hold me?" she asked in a small voice. "And be by my side when I wake?"
"Okay. I will," he said, and they both slipped under the scarlet sheets of his bed. He held her and stroked her hair, as she laid her head on his chest, wrapping her arms around him, and soon both were in a deep sleep.
She woke from a deep sleep, from a dream that Angelus was gone, Angel was back, she'd stabbed him and fled, and that finally his soul was bound to him, no ands, ifs, or buts. She woke to familiar surroundings, to scarlet sheets, and a darkened room. She realized with a sob that the dream was a reality, with the exception of the soul being bound part. She quickly dressed, and got ready for patrol, as it was after sunset. She opened the door, and bumped into a broad, muscular chest. She raised her head to see who it was, and found herself drowning in deep, serious brown eyes. She wished she could stay like this forever, but knew she couldn't. She went to move past him, but he blocked her, and pushed her back into the now dimly lit apartment. She noticed he was limping slightly as he moved to sit down opposite her, and she choked back a sob. But he must have heard, for he pulled her into a warm and loving, she noticed with joy, bear hug. He said nothing, just soothed her by rubbing her back and running his left hand through her silky hair. Then, she felt his hand squeeze one of her own, and pulled out of his safe arms for the second time that day. She averted her gaze from his face to look at their hands entwined in her lap. He put his free hand under her chin, and she was looking into his eyes. She immediately began to cry, and he held her, whispering,
"It's alright, it's okay, I'm here," and with that said she stood with her back to him, saying,
"No. it's not okay. I made you lose your soul." He was silent, and she spun around to face him. "You did know, right?" she asked him warily.
"I kind of guessed," he muttered. "I-I remember some of the things that I did-"
"That Angelus did," Buffy corrected him.
"What did you mean when you said you made me lose my soul? And how did I get it back?" Angel implored, trying to change the subject. Buffy hesitated before answering him.
"I don't know how you got it back. Probably Willow, as she tried it last night, but failed. You . you lost your soul, due to one moment of pure happiness, from the night of my birthday," she whispered so quietly, that if not for his vampire hearing, Angel wouldn't have heard her. "Ms. Calendar told us . she was a gypsy."
"Was?" Angel questioned, fearing the answer. She looked at him as she sat down beside him, the pain of the last few months clear in her young eyes.
"Angelus . killed her. She was trying to replicate the original curse."
"Oh God." Angel's eyes clouded over with grief and guilt. "Jenny. Oh God, Giles must despise me." He moved to leave, but a small, warm hand on his arm stopped him.
"I admit, upset doesn't even come close to what Giles felt-" she winced at the pain in his eyes, but continued. "I'd say he is still quite upset, but he hates Angelus, not you." Suddenly, she shot up off the bed. "Giles!" she said quickly. "And Willow and the others, too! We should go to the hospital to check on them. She moved into action, but Angel's soft words halted her.
"Did . did I do anything to you?" She hesitated. "What did I do? He prodded, knowing from her short hesitation.
"Well, you did tell my mom that we made love," she began, almost laughing and crying at the same time. "And . the night after my birthday, you . you acted as if that night had meant nothing," she finished, her voice cracking with emotion as she stood, walked a few feet away, and wrapped her arms around herself. She had her back to him, so she didn't notice him move behind her to come behind her, and wrap his strong arms around her tiny waist. She instinctively relaxed against him.
"I'm sorry," he murmured in her ear. "For everything. I'm so sorry." She whirled around to face him.
"You're sorry?" she said in a shaky tone. He went to say something, something she knew he would say, but she continued. "It was Angelus. Not you. Okay? I'm the one who should be sorry," she finished.
"For what?" he asked her. "For giving me true happiness that I've never experienced? For making me feel like a man again? For letting me love you?" She tried to interrupt him, but he didn't let her. "I don't regret that night. I regret the fact that the gypsies didn't curse me properly, and that Angelus was released ." he stopped for a moment, then continued. "But I do not regret that night, and I never will. Every moment I spent in your presence, I'll never forget," he said. She began to smile through her tears. "You know, that night . for the first time in my existence, I had hope of heaven and paradise." She smiled softly, and they both noticed how exhausted they both were.
"We should get some sleep before patrol," Buffy said with a yawn.
"Yeah," he agreed, and stood.
"Where are you going?"
"To sleep on the sofa," he said, his shoulders slumping.
"Don't you want to sleep with me?" she asked quietly. He winced at her choice of words. "Sorry," she realized her words, and silently cursed herself. "I mean, do you not want to stay here? I want you to," she finished almost shyly. He looked at her. She looked so fragile and vulnerable that he just wanted to collect her in his arms, and rock her to sleep. "Would you mind staying here and hold me?" she asked in a small voice. "And be by my side when I wake?"
"Okay. I will," he said, and they both slipped under the scarlet sheets of his bed. He held her and stroked her hair, as she laid her head on his chest, wrapping her arms around him, and soon both were in a deep sleep.
