"Run far away, so I can breathe,
Even though you're far from suffocating me.
I can't set my hopes too high,
'Cause every hello ends with a goodbye."
The sound of Mercedes' heels on the hardwood floor of her parent's tidy home echoed down the hallway. She cringed, hoping no one heard, and quietly slipped off one shoe and then the other. If her parents were sleeping and she happened to wake them up, she would never hear the end of it. She was already tired and still in a partial daze due to the night's events, and just wanted to take a hot shower and head to bed. She didn't think now was a good time for a lengthy conversation with her sleep deprived parents.
But she had only placed one foot on the step to go up to her room, when she heard a voice from behind her.
"Well, aren't we home late?"
Mercedes turned to see her older brother, Marcus, standing in the doorway to the living room. He was leaning against the frame with a sly smirk on his face. He folded his thick arms and glared at his younger sister.
"Fun night, Cedes?"
Mercedes grinned and rolled her eyes. "Marcus, what are you doing here?" she walked over to give him a hug. "I thought you didn't finish classes for another week."
He smiled, ruffling her hair playfully. Mercedes swatted his hand away.
"I was, but my professor came down with a bad cold. He decided to cancel our final and gave us our grades early. It was my last one, so I came home early as a surprise." He eyed Mercedes thoughtfully. "And imagine my surprise when I get home and mom and dad tell me that you were at prom."
Mercedes let out a heavy breath and turned away from him. She wasn't in the mood to deal with Marcus' jokes and teasing. And besides, she didn't want her memory of the night tainted by her older brother.
"Aw come on Cedes, don't be like that." He grabbed her arm just as she started up stairs and pulled her back down. "The Mercedes I know would have never gone to prom. So what made you decide to go? Was it a dare?"
"Shut up, Marcus. And no, it wasn't a dare. I went with a group of friends. We agreed to go together. It's not a big deal."
"Was it with those glee club kids mom was telling me about? What are you called? The Nude Erections?"
"Oh my god," Mercedes groaned. "Thanks a lot for that mental picture." She shook her head fiercely.
But it's not like she was suddenly picturing every guy in New Directions or anything. And she was especially not picturing Sam.
Sam.
She felt a sudden rush of heat to her cheeks, and turned away from her brother again. Her next few words came out in a rush. "Look, I'm tired. You know, prom…dancing…heels. Gonna go to bed. 'Night." And she headed upstairs as quickly and quietly as she could.
It wasn't until she was in the comfort of her own room that she allowed herself to go into full on girl mode.
She dropped onto her bed, beaming from ear to ear. Her shoes fell onto the floor with a soft thud and she tried her hardest to suppress a delightful squeal.
"Did tonight actually happen?" she whispered. She thought back through everything. Starting from when she and Rachel had brought the idea up to Sam, through the actual prom, and then ending with him waving goodbye. Her mind was racing.
She brought her hand over her chest and rested it on her heart. Was that racing too? She couldn't tell. Memories kept flooding back to her, too distracting to think of anything else. She remembered little instances where his hand had touched the small of her back or when they brushed against her arms as they danced or the smell of his cologne as he leaned in close, to speak into her ear over the loud music.
It honestly seemed too good to be true.
She suddenly realized that she was filled with too much adrenaline to go to sleep. That and a part of her was afraid that if she did go to bed, she would wake up only to find out that it really was a dream. And she didn't think she could deal with that.
Instead, she righted herself on the bed and pulled her phone off of her nightstand.
She had to tell someone. This was a big deal for was no way she was going to keep this in without letting someone know.
Without thinking, she immediately punched in Kurt's number and held the phone up to her ear.
Kurt answered after three rings.
"Hello?" Mercedes smiled to herself as the familiar voice rang in her ear. He sounded a little breathless, not like the usual composed Kurt she knew.
"Hi!" she said brightly, still smiling. She couldn't stop herself.
"Hey." Kurt said happily, but not with as much enthusiasm as Mercedes.
There was silence.
"So…" Kurt's voice trailed off. Mercedes leaned in closer to her phone. She thought she heard a voice, whispering in the background, but whoever it was, Kurt shushed them and his voice came back louder. "Uh…so how was your night, Miss. Jones?"
Mercedes sat up straight, ready to fill Kurt in. She didn't even know where to start; she had so much to say.
"Well," she began. "After-"
But she broke off almost instantly, as a series of images flashed in her mind. Her smile faded slightly as she pushed past each one. Rachel and Jesse together. Rachel and Puck together. Finn and Rachel. Quinn and Sam. Finn and Quinn. Artie and Tina.
She sat on her bed in silence, her thoughts bouncing from one couple to another.
"Hello? Um, Mercedes?"
Relationships never lasted long in the New Directions, she knew that. She saw it. There was constant bickering, whispering about each other, gossip. Couples broke up and in turn, hearts were broken. She loved being a part of the group, of course, but she knew that it wasn't the safest place for a new relationship.
The thought made her cringe in embarrassment. Who was to say that Sam was even looking for a relationship? Maybe he just needed a friend, and Mercedes just happened to be available. Was she looking for one? She spent so long denying that she needed a man, and was one night at prom going to change that?
"Mercedes?"
And there was the simple fact that it really was only one night. Maybe she was looking too much into things. Maybe she interpreted what was just Sam being his normal self for something more.
Her heart twisted painfully as this realization hit her. She was being delusional about a guy. Again.
"MERCEDES JONES."
"Huh?"
"What has gotten into you? Did you drink? Were you out drinking after prom? Oh my god, are you drunk dialing me?"
Kurt's hysterical voice brought her back down from her thoughts and she laughed softly. "No, Kurt. Calm down, I'm not drunk."
"Oh. Ok, good. Because I can't come and get you if you were."
"Why? Where are you?"
He hesitated before answering. "Um, nowhere. Uh, home. I'm home." He sounded so flustered. She narrowed her eyes, though she knew he couldn't see her.
"Kurt, are you-" she stopped herself short. She was going to ask if he was with Blaine. But something told her that it really wasn't any of her business if he was, and Kurt didn't seem like he wanted to talk about it anyway. "Never mind. But hey, I'm going to bed. Had a big night. I'll call you tomorrow?"
"Yes, ok. Sounds good."
"'Night Mr. Hummel."
"Goodnight Miss. Jones. Sweet dreams." And he hung up.
She tossed her phone onto her bed and collapsed forward, burying her face in a pillow. A big part of her wanted everything that happened with Sam to be real. Another part of her wanted to tell Kurt, to gush and giggle that she finally had someone to gush and giggle over, but she couldn't. She was scared. What if, on Monday, she walked into class and Sam totally ignored her? She couldn't risk psyching herself up for something, only to have it come crashing down on her. She didn't want a repeat of what happened last year with Kurt, when she created a whole relationship with him inside her head, only to find out that he wasn't interested in her in that way at all.
As strong as she is when having to face the world or even just McKinley High, she was relatively sure that her heart was nowhere near as strong to be able to deal with that kind of disappointment. And for a second time too.
With a sigh, she climbed off her bed and moved over to her dresser. She changed out of her dress and into pajamas, and went to turn off the light.
She lay in bed for a few minutes, just staring up at the ceiling.
And she promised herself, that this time, she wasn't going to let her feelings for a guy get the best of her. She would keep her emotions in check. Even as his voice played over and over in the back of her mind and his words pulled at her thoughts, she was going to ignore it. For the sake of her heart, she had to.
It took her a while, but eventually, she drifted off to sleep.
"I think that possibly,
maybe I'm falling for you."
Sam woke with a start on Monday morning, his father's alarm clock blaring on the other side of the room. He lifted his head off the pillow and glanced over at his dad. He had reached over to hit the snooze button and fell back to sleep almost instantly.
It was 7:30. Time to get dressed.
Groggily, Sam pushed himself out of bed, careful not to wake Stevie, who had climbed under the covers next to him in the middle of the night, and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth.
He stared at his reflection in the mirror. His blond hair was growing past his ears now and it stuck out every which way. He ran his fingers through it, trying to force it back, but it was no use. They fell right back down and hung just above his eyes. He was going to have to get it cut, soon. He promised himself that as soon as he got some cash, he was going to do just that. It was annoying the heck out of him.
Not long after, he was dressed and ready for school. His mom had woken up, already making breakfast for Stacey and Stevie. They were both seated at the table, chatting quietly to each other over their bowls of cereal. Sam grabbed a few slices of toast from another plate his mom had set out, and threw his book bag over his shoulder.
"Dad outside already?" he asked. His mom looked up from the dishes and nodded.
"Yes, he's waiting for you."
"Okay, I'll see you later." He said. He ruffled Stevie's hair and kissed Stacey goodbye and headed out the door.
His dad sat in the car, his face looking tired and old. Sam couldn't help but feel that his parents were aging faster than they should, with every day that passed. The stress of job hunting was getting to them, he knew, but yet still they never reacted negatively to him or Stevie and Stacey. They were living in a one room motel, but the truth was that one room was filled with just as much love as a houseful of the stuff.
"Morning." He said as Sam got in and sat next to him.
"Hey." Sam closed the door behind him, and Mr. Evans took off, heading toward his son's school.
"So how was prom? You know, I never got a chance to ask. You got in pretty late on Saturday and I was out most of Sunday."
Sam was quiet for a second, thinking hard. He honestly didn't know where to begin. So he settled on something easy.
"It was great." Yep, that pretty much summed it up, however simple it may sound. He looked over at his dad with a grin. Mr. Evans' eyebrows narrowed as he watched his son.
"Hey," he said, with a lopsided smile. "I know that look. That's not the first time you've had that look." He nudged an elbow at Sam. "Who's the girl? And I thought you were supposed to go with a group."
Sam laughed. "Yeah, the group kind of got smaller as the night went on. But other than that, you're not getting any more out of me. Not yet, anyway. I don't want to spoil anything." He said with a shrug. "Like, you know, jinx it."
"Well, Sam, how's your old man going to know who she is anyway? You can tell me."
This was true. If he was being honest, the thing he loved most about his dad was that he could go to him for just about anything. Their family went through a lot together in the past few months and it really did bring all of them closer. Especially since Sam had decided to keep his financial problems a secret from the glee club, he had no other choice but to confide and trust in his parents. He had no one else to turn to, at the time. Of course, now the entire glee club knows, but that doesn't change the fact that his relationship with his father is a strong one.
However, his feelings for Mercedes were new. They were strong, he wouldn't deny that, but they were definitely new. He didn't want to jump the gun and make it into something big without knowing where they both stood.
"I know. You don't know her. She's just beautiful and confident and funny and understanding and…and I just don't want to mess this up before we even get anywhere. You know? I want to take this slow. Get to know her a little more."
Mr. Evans shook his head and laughed.
"I'm serious, dad. I mean, I did things way too fast with Quinn. I rushed into a relationship and look where that got me." Sam shook his head too, causing his hair to fall into his eyes. He pushed it back, annoyed. "But anyway, I'm serious this time. I really like her and…and I just don't want to ruin it."
With one last look, Mr. Evans decided to give in to his son's request and he dropped the subject.
They had arrived at the school in less than no time, with Mr. Evans making idle conversation to avoid talking about his son's relationship issues. Sam opened the door, but before he could step out of the car, his dad pulled on his sleeve.
"You seem serious about this girl. I really hope it works out for you, son." Sam gave him a small smile, nodded and got out.
He watched as his dad drove away, the car bumping along out of the parking lot and onto the highway, until something, or rather someone, caught his eye.
Mercedes had gotten out of her own car and was walking towards the school, a stack of textbooks in hand. He turned his head away, acting as if he didn't see her.
But a sudden thought came to mind. Would it be incredibly cheesy if he asked to carry her books? He looked her way again and a smile spread across his face.
With just another thought, he realized he didn't care.
