A/N: Told from Castle's point of view.
Rick stood at the back of the bullpen of the 12th looking across at his partner's back. He could see by the way she was holding herself artificially erect that the blow she'd taken earlier in the day from that thug Samuels had hurt her more than she was willing to let on. Rick grimaced; for once he'd done as instructed and tried to hang back as Kate, Ryan and Esposito had taken Samuels down but when he had hit her like that his resolve had been shattered and he'd piled in with the others until they'd eventually wrestled the guy to the ground. Rick had a bump or two of his own from the struggle but nothing that would bother him for more than a day and nothing like the blow Kate had taken. She'd brushed him off when he'd asked her about it, told him she was fine, be he knew then that she was lying to him and he could see the evidence of that lie in the way she sat now.
Despite her stubborness, or perhaps because of it, Rick marvelled as he so often did at her inner strength, her willpower to keep going no matter what the cost. This case had been a tough one and had put them all under a lot of strain. None of them had had much time to sleep and he had no idea when Kate had last managed to grab some shut-eye but it was definitely more than 24 hours ago. He was sure he looked as shattered as he felt but probably to most people's eyes Kate simply looked like she always did, perhaps a little tired but certainly not someone who had been up and active for more than 24 hours straight. Rick however had seen the way she'd pulled herself together, summoning the energy from some inner depth before they'd interrogated Samuels. It was a sign of just how tired she was that Kate had let him see that much, she normally hid any sign of weakness (or at least of what she percieved to be a weakness) behind one of those damn walls of hers.
Rick sighed, he knew she would stay until she physically collapsed unless he did something to try and get her to stop, at least for a few hours. She would no doubt chew him up and spit him out for mentioning it but if he let her carry on she'd pass out from exhaustion at her desk and it was not good for her. Rick had not spent the past few months watching her health and her strength slowly improve day by day to have her put her recovery back months by working herself into the ground. Taking a deep breath for the battle that he suspected was ahead Rick walked up behind Kate and looked over her shoulder at what she was typing. As he suspected it would be, it appeared to be some kind of report relating to the Samuels case, no surprise there. Kate was no doubt determined to do everything to wrap this case up before she finally packed up for the day and allowed herself to rest and recover. He shook his head in resignation, Oh Kate you don't need to do this now.
"Beckett," Rick said quietly, wanting to catch her attention but trying not to startle her.
Kate's head whipped around to him. He'd obviously made her jump which told him two things: He'd failed in his attedmpt at not startling her and that it really did confirm just how tired she must be. He firmed his resolve, he needed to get her to take a break, regardless of the cost to him – and he feared it would probably cost him quite a lot.
"Castle, don't creep up on me like that! Are you trying to give me a heart-attack?" Kate said.
"Um...no," Rick replied, slightly taken aback by the anger in her voice. This was a really bad idea. But it had to be done and he knew he had to be the one to do it. She might listen to him but she certainly wouldn't listen to anyone else! He stood there, unsure of what to say when Kate looked up at him and said, "Sorry, I didn't mean...just don't creep up on me like that ok?"
Rick blinked in surprise. Kate rarely apologised for anything, believing it to be one of those 'weaknesses'. He looked more closely at her for a long moment. There was a definite tightness about her eyes which spoke of suppressed pain and exhaustion. To him she really looked like she was on her last legs and he deperately needed to get her out of here. He stepped towards her and leaned down so that only she could hear, he was willing to risk her chewing him out for trying to get her to take a break but if he let anyone else in the precinct hear, well, she may never talk to him again!
"Kate," Rick said quietly, trying to sound as inoffensive as possible. "You look exhausted. You should go home, get some rest."
"I'm fine Castle," Kate responded and Rick cringed inside at the irritation that was clear in her tone. He really was going to pay for this. "Unlike you," Kate continued, "I've got to do this paperwork before I leave otherwise all of our hard work from today will go to waste."
"Hey, I'm still here aren't I," Rick protested, not willing to concede she had a point. True, normally by now he would have left her to the paperwork but normally by now she hadn't been up for a day and a half straight and she didn't look as if she was going to pass out at any moment. He tried a different tact. "Anyway, by the look of what you have written on that screen if you try to file this paperwork as it is you'll only be doing Samuels a favour."
This had the desired affect as her head whipped around from his to study her screen. He could not see her eyes scannig the document but he could see her hands twitching as she reviewed what she had written and he knew her well enough to know she was probably grinding her teeth in irritation at her own sloppiness.
"Kate," Rick said again, trying to press this small advantage. "The paperwork can wait until tomorrow. Samuels isn't going anywhere and this doesn't have to be filed tonight. You've got until three o'clock tomorrow which is plenty of time for you to do this in the morning, after you've had some rest."
She turned to look at him with an all too familiar look of surprise on her face. "When did you become such an expert on police procedure?" she asked.
Rick grinned, it was nice that after the last few years he could still surprise her on occasion. She really did think that he sat there for hour after hour playing games on his phone and paying no attention to what she did or said. Well, she was often right but in reality he spent as much time watching her as he did playing games on his phone and he heard pretty much everything she said. "Well, I've been following this detective around for a while and despite what she may think I do actually pay attention to what she tells me...every now and again," he told her. "You've got 24 hours to file that paperwork detective which means you don't have to do it right now, especially as it is clear you can barely keep your eyes open."
"Funny Castle, real funny," Kate muttered in response but Rick saw a small ghost of a smile on her face before she turned away and it was enough to make his heart skip a beat. He spent a great deal of his life these days simply looking for ways to make her smile and every time she did it lifted his heart and his soul in ways nothing else every could. Kate didn't look at him or say anything more but Rick was pleasantly surprised to see her saving her work and locking the files away in her desk. Wow, that had been much easier than he had thought it would be, she must really be feeling it to give in so easily! Not wanting to give her the opportunity to change her mind, Rick grabbed her jacket so that when she turned to reach for it he was there waiting to help her into it.
And because he was waiting for her as she turned he saw the grimace of pain on her face and the unconscious movement of her hand to her side, right to the spot where Samuels had hit her earlier on in the day. The grimace was brief but Rick saw it and his anger at the man for hitting her flared anew. How dare he hurt Kate like that, how dare anyone hurt her! He closed his eyes briefly to get control of his anger, Samuels was locked in the cells and after all the evidence they had gathered on him he would be going to jail, hopefully for the rest of his life. He would never hurt Kate again. Her jacket now on Kate turned away from him and headed towards the elevator, without a word or glance in his direction. He stood there for a moment, his anger at Samuels for hurting her still burning inside of him before he realised she'd moved away and he hurried to catch her up before she reached the elevator.
As he stood there beside her, waiting for the doors to open, Rick watched Kate out of the corner of his eye. He could see that she was not standing there easily, there was a slight hunch to her shoulders which told him her ribs were making their displeasure know to her. She'd probably been running on adrenaline ever since the arrest but that didn't last for ever and was no doubt starting to wear off. Looking at her standing there Rick wasn't sure she was in a fit enough state to drive home. The blow to her ribs combined with her acute lack of sleep was a dangerous mix in busy New York traffic. A sudden bump over one of New York's hundreds of potholes would probably be agonising for her right now and that momentary distraction could be all it would take for her to have an accident. He turned to towards her intending to tell her that she should get a cab home but her jaw was set with such determination he knew that she'd reject his suggestion out of hand. So instead he said nothing and looked away again.
"What Castle?" Kate asked him, impatience clear in her voice.
"Uh..." Rick said, wondering whether he should just tell her to get a cab home.
"Spit it out, I know you want to say something."
The elevator bell dinged, saving him from having to answer. There was no way she would get a cab if he just asked her too; she had far too much pride for that. No, there was only one thing he could do and that was to not give her a choice. She'd given in to him once already today and maybe he could get her to give in to him again. Of course, it was more likely that she would give him a piece of her mind but he had to try, just for the peace of mind it would give him knowing that she would get home safely. He stepped in to the elevator and deliberately reached across Kate to select the ground floor, ignoring the button for the basement garage where Kate's car was parked. As he suspected she would, Kate reached over to press the 'B' button herself so he gently caught her arm in his, preventing her from reaching the panel.
"Castle, what are you...?" Kate said warningly, trying to free her hand from his grip.
"I don't think you should drive home tonight, let me get you a cab instead," Castle said, hoping she would understand.
"Castle, I'm perfectly capable of driving myself home..."
"Under normal circumstances I completely agree, but not tonight. You're clearly exhausted and if that grimace of pain I saw earlier is any indication that blow to your ribs you took from our brutish friend is hurting you a great deal more than you're trying to let on." Castle looked at the woman he loved, seeing the tiredness and pain in her eyes that she was trying so hard to hide from him. "Please Kate, just let me get you a cab home, just this once."
Rick saw her jaw set and he knew she was going to fight him. Kate was never willing to back down or admit to the fact she wasn't superwoman. It was one of the many reasons why he loved her. "Castle, I'm fine...," she started to say but he cut her off.
"No Kate, you're not fine," he said, frustrated at her sheer stubbornness. "You've been up for God knows how many hours, running on coffee and not much else. I don't think you've had anything to eat since yesterday. And to top it all that thug hit you so hard in the ribs that you can barely stand up straight. So for once will you please not fight me and just let me make sure you get home ok!"
The words were out of his mouth before he'd had chance to think about what he was saying and who he was saying to. 'Idiot,' he thought to himself; if there was one sure way to guarantee that she would do the exact opposite of what he wanted it was to tell her she couldn't do it. Tell Kate that it was impossible to fly and she'd find a way to do it just to prove him wrong. He saw her eyes narrow and was waiting for the explosion when the elevator suddenly jolted to a halt. The expression on Kate's face went from anger to pain in the blink of an eye and she gasped out loud. Rick moved forward without thought to steady her, all anger forgotten in the moment she had cried out.
"Kate..." He said, wanting to know if she was alright but she waved him to silence with her hand.
"I'm fine Castle," Kate said weakly after a moment or two. She looked up at him and he almost saw one of those walls crack behind those eyes as she reluctantly gave in to the inevitable. "But you may be right, perhaps I shouldn't be driving."
"Perhaps," Rick muttered under his breath. Even on the point of collapse from pain and exhaustion she wouldn't admit that she was hurting, and hurting bad. He tried to assist her out of the elevator but she shook his hand off and walked straight-backed out of the precinct and down the steps, holding herself erect. Rick watched her go, marvelling once again at her inner strength, stupid though she was being, before hurrying up beside her shaking his head in disbelief. He waved a cab down, when he'd tried to get her to take a cab home he'd initially only intended to put her in the cab and send her home but after the way she had almost collapsed in the elevator there was no way he was going to let her out of his sight until he knew she was safe at home. As the cab pulled up he opened the door for her before scooting around to the other side. He gave the driver her address and the cab pulled away from the kerb, into the hustle and bustle of New York traffic.
Kate had not said a word since leaving the elevator, even when he had sat beside in the cab and gave her address to the driver. Rick had expected her to complain or at least question why he was in the cab beside her but she said nothing, keeping her face set ahead until the precinct was falling away behind them. Then she suddenly slumped forward in her seat and Rick saw her hand once again cradle her bruised ribs.
"Fell better now," Rick said, looking across at her from his seat.
"No," she replied shortly.
"It's ok to admit that it hurts sometimes, you know that right?" Rick said quietly.
"Oh, you're just full of insights tonight aren't you Castle," she replied.
Judging by her tone his efforts to see her home and rested were not being appreciated. Hoping to lighten the mood, or at least to change the subject he said, "Only as far as you're concerned, my dear detective." Kate simply ignored his comment and Rick sighed inwardly. 'It must be love,' he thought. 'why else would I put up with so much aggravation?'
When the cab finally pulled up outside Kate's apartment block Rick was almost relieved. The short journey had seemed to take forever through the busy New York traffic and the huffy silence in the back of the cab had been getting to him - silence was not a natural state of being for him. He got out and quickly went round to her side to offer his arm to help her out of the cab, as any gentleman should do. He half expected Kate to push his arm away in disgust so he was pleasently surprised when she gripped his arm quite tightly before gingerly extracting herself from the cab. The smile of gratitude that she gave him for his assitance caught him completely off-guard, given the awkward silence he'd had to endure in the cab and he just stared back dumb-founded into her eyes, suddenly lost in her beauty.
She broke eye contact with him after what was either a moment or a lifetime, he really couldn't tell. He closed his eyes trying to put a lid back on those feelings for her which bubbled ever more often to the surface these days. Rick was pretty sure that she felt something for him, that there was something between them more than just a frienship or a partnership but those walls she had spoken of her shooting were still there and whilst he might see a crack in them, here and there, she wasn't ready to let him in, to let him love her in the way she deserved. He didn't know if she would ever be ready, but he'd promised himself long ago that he would keep turning up for as long as it took to find out, one way or another.
But that wasn't going to be today, so Rick cleared his throat before saying, in a rather husky voice, "Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then detective."
He turned to get back into the cab, to head home to his loft and his dreams of a life with Kate by his side knowing that he would have to be patient if he ever wanted those dreams to become reality. He was therefore surprised when Kate's grip on his arm tightened, preventing him from turnig away further. He looked up at her and was shocked to see a look of near panic on her face.
"Castle," Kate said, her normally strong and confident voice sounding weak and frail to his ears. "Uh, can you...um...help me into my apartment..."
Rick stared up at her in amazement, was she really asking him to stay? Five minutes ago they'd been sitting next to each other in a huffy silence but there was no mistaking the look she was giving him now. He had spent long hours studying every detail of Kate's expressions and what he saw now spoke to him much louder than words. He could see the pleading in her eyes, a message unspoken but being shouted loudly at him. It didn't last long, that moment of pure vulnerability in her eyes passed as quickly as it had come but he had seen it there, seen her need for him in that moment and it tore at his heart. He smiled at her, managing a rather feeble, "Of course," whilst his brain reeled from the naked emotion he had just glimpsed.
He paid the driver, not really paying much attention to what he said and probably tipping him way too much. However, the momentary distraction was enough for him to regain at least some of his composure so that when he took her arm again, to help her towards her apartment, he managed to do so without shaking too much. They rode the elevator in silence to her floor, thoughts racing to and from across his mind as he tried to understand what he had seen in her eyes in that moment. Was it simply down to her exhaustion or the pain from her injury or was there something else there? Was this the right time for him to push her about their complex relationship? That haunted look in her eyes when she thought he'd been about to leave her, what did it mean?
Lost in his thoughts Rick walked into Kate's apartment and closed the door absentmindedly behind him. He opened his mouth to ask Kate what was going on when his eyes refocused on her and he saw her standing there in front of him. She just stood there, saying nothing and looking so skittish that Rick wouldn't have been surprised if she'd run away if he tried to talk to her about what he had seen and what it meant. He also saw that her hand was once again pressed to her ribs and she looked so fragile that he was afraid a slight breeze would be all it took to knock her down.
"Shall I, uh make us a drink?" Rick asked, trying to think of something safe, something normal to do.
"Yeah, yeah, sorry Castle," Kate said after a moment, her voice still sounding weak and uncertain.
"Sit down Kate," Rick pleaded gently as he headed towards her kitchen. "Before you fall down." The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them.
"Hey," He heard Kate protest but there was no heat or strength in her tone. Castle breathed a sigh of relief, the last thing he wanted to do right now was to upset the delicate balance between them.
"Only telling it like it is detective," he said from her kitchen, trying to keep the mood light. He looked around him, suddenly unsure what to do. He'd been here several times before of course but he didn't really know where Kate kept anything in her kitchen. The only time he'd spent any real time in her kitchen previously had been at her old apartment, and that was two years ago. Oh well, she'd given him permission to make some drinks so he'd better do what he could. He opened several cupboards and drawers before he eventually found some hot chocolate. He flicked on her kettle and whilst it boiled he grabbed a couple of mugs from a stand and opened the fridge to grab some milk. A minute or two latter he walked back into the lounge with two hot mugs held in either hand.
"I didn't think you'd want coffee...," Rick started to say but stopped as he looked at Kate and realised that she'd fallen asleep on her couch. He stood there for a moment just taking in the sight of her before the pain in his hands reminded him he held two very hot mugs!
"Ow, ow, ow," Castle said quietly under his breath as he placed the mugs on her coffee table and blew on his hands. He looked across at Kate, fearful that he had woken her but she just lay there looking peaceful with her eyes closed. He stepped a little closer to kneel at her side, telling himself it was to ensure she was ok but knowing that for a lie. He reached out and gently pushed her hair behind one ear and just sat there looking at her.
"Oh my love," Castle said softly. "You really did push yourself too far this time didn't you. Now what am I supposed to do with you eh? I can't leave you here like this, but if I wake you..." Castle sighed, she looked so peaceful there that he was loath to wake her but if she slept in that position for any length of time her bruised ribs would stiffen so badly she'd barely be able to move.
"Kate, Kate, you've got to wake up. You need to go to bed," Castle said, shaking her should softly.
Kate's eyes fluttered slightly and she mumbled something which sounded like "Comfortable, go away." Castle grinned at her, even when she was asleep she still fought him, that was his Kate. He tried gently shaking her shoulder again but this time she didn't even stir and he eventually sat back on his heels. The way he saw it he had a few choices, all of which ended badly for him. He could go find a blanket and just leave her there, which with her bruised ribs she'd regret in the morning and take it out on him. Or he could keep trying to wake her, but she was so far gone that he'd have to be quite forceful in doing so and then she'd blame that on him! No, the only sensible choice was to get her into bed without waking her, so she could get some much needed rest without casuing any further damage to her ribs. She's definitely going to take that one out on him, but at least that would be a problem for tomorrow morning after she'd had some sleep and right now he was more concerend for her welfare than he was for the rolicking he'd get tomorrow.
Decision made he stood up and looked around her apartment. He'd never been in her bedroom but he knew which door it was behind. Rick took one last look at Kate before squaring his shoulders and walking over to open the door. She's probably going to kill him for this but what choice did he have? He flicked a light switch he found next to the door and looked around the room. He'd imagined being here many times in his dreams but those fantasies had not involved an unconscious Kate asleep on her couch! He therefore couldn't help but feel like he was invading her privacy so trying not to pay much attention to the room itself he quickly walked in and pulled back the covers on her bed. He walked straight back out again into Kate's lounge and over to the woman he loved. 'Please don't hate me for this Kate,' he thought.
Rick bent down and gently worked his arms under Kate's sleeping form, being careful to avoid her bruised side. He'd carried Alexis to bed more times than he could remember but she was a good deal shorter than Kate and he'd not had to do it recently. Still, he managed to stand up with Kate in his arms without too much difficultly, although the feel of her hair against his arm and her gentle breathing against his neck were very distracting indeed! Walking across her lounge he turned sideways though her bedroom door and carefully, oh so carefully manoeuvred her in to the room and over to her bed. Rick went down on one knee and gently lowered Kate into her bed, sliding his arms from under her sleeping form. He stood and looked down at her. She had barely stirred as he carried her from couch to bed and even now her eyes did not so much as even flutter open.
She was still fully dressed but there was no way he was going to do anything about that! She might be prepared to forgive him carrying her to her room, God he really did hope she would be prepared, but there was no way in hell she would ever forgive him if he tried to undress her! Looking at her he decided that he was however probably safe in removing her boots. After all he'd done it before and he was pretty sure she'd be pissed if she woke up in bed with her boots still on. Fortunately the pair she had on today were much easier to remove than the one she'd worn last time he'd done this – or perhaps it was simply because his life wasn't in danger – so it only took a moment or two to for him to gently remove them and to cover her with her blankets.
Rick gently caressed Kate's forehead, the lightest of touches and just the once. He wished that one day soon he could sit there all night stroking her hair and holding her close but that day wasn't today and he would never take advantage of her current vulnerability. Talking of which, he really should get her some painkillers for the morning. Sleeping in her own bed would help but either way her side would no doubt be stiff and sore tomorrow and she needed to go back to the precinct to finish the paperwork on Samuels. He should also set an alarm to ensure that she was awake and able to get in to the precinct to finish that paperwork - she would definitely never forgive him if he allowed her to sleep in! He walked out of her room, trying to think. Painkillers and alarm, painkillers and alarm. He spotted Kate's phone on her table and picked it up. He swiped the slider and then swore; it needed a passcode and he didn't know what Kate's was. He thought for a moment and tried a couple of combinations which she might have used but neither one was correct. Rick put Kate's cell back on the coffee table, that was clearly a bust. He'll have to set the alarm using his own phone. He pulled his cell from his pocket and set the alarm for 0800 tomorrow. Right, that's sorted, now for some painkillers.
It took him a few minutes but he eventually found some in the corner of a cupboard in Kate's kitchen. He also dug out as glass and filled it with water from her tap. That should be everything. Rick started back towards Kate's room but stopped short after a few steps. No matter which way he did this, When his alarm went off Kate was still going to wake up, fully clothed, in her bed and probably be totally freaked out at an unfamiliar alarm! If he didn't want her to go ballistic at him in the morning before he had chance to explain he needed a way to let her know what was going on before she jumped to all the wrong conclusions. A note! That was it, he'd write he a note explaining everything. If he put it next to his cell she'd be bound to see it and read it. He put the glass down on Kate's table and reached in to his jacket pocket where he always carried a notebook and pen. He thought for a moment and then started to write:
Kate,
I know that you will probably be wondering what the hell is going on so I thought I'd get an explanation in really early! You fell asleep on your couch whilst I was making you a drink, in fact you were dead to the world. I considered leaving you there but I thought that sleeping on your couch would probably do your bruised ribs more harm than good so I eventually decided to carry you to your own bed so you could sleep properly. Please note that despite the obvious temptations in that situation you are still fully clothed!
I knew you would want to get to the precinct to finish off that horrible paperwork on our case. Rather you than me! Anyway, I couldn't get into your phone (what is your passcode?) so I set the alarm on mine – hopefully it wasn't too rude an awakening. Oh, and I also left you some painkillers as I'm pretty sure your ribs are going to be really stiff and sore when you do wake.
I hope you slept well,
Rick x
Rick read the note through a couple of times, pleased that he had managed to get the important points across whilst injecting a little humour. Hopefully it would be enough to put Kate's mind at rest and to prevent any misunderstandings that could take days to unravel. He folded the note carefully and wrote Kate's name on one side before picking up the glass and heading back into Kate's room one last time. He placed the glass, his cell and the painkillers on her bedside cabinet and propped his note up against the glass, so she would hopefully not miss it. He looked down one last time and whispered, "Sleep well, my love." before leaving her room, flicking the light switch off on his way out and gently closing the door behind him.
He returned to the couch, removing and draping his jacket over its back as he sat down and drank one of the now slightly tepid chocolate drinks he had made for them both. He briefly debated whether he should just go home but he'd rather be there to explain to Kate in the morning if something went wrong, rather than be stuck across the other side of the city. He rose to empty Kate's untouched drink and cleaned out the two mugs in her kitchen before making a quick trip to her bathroom. A couple of minutes later he settled back on Kate's couch, lying down with his head unconsciously resting exactly where Kate had drifted off to sleep. Rick closed his eyes and tried very hard not to think of the beautiful women sleeping only a few feet away, whose scent he could still smell on the cushion his head rested on.
-xxx-
It was a rattling noise which woke him. Rick's eyes opened and he blinked up at an unfamiliar ceiling. It took his brain a moment or two to engage and to recognise what he was looking at. He was in Kate's apartment and he'd been sleeping on her couch. He heard movement from the kitchen and guessed it must have been that which had awakened him. "Kate?" he said questioningly, still not sure if this was real or just a particularly vivid dream.
"Mm...hmm," Kate replied in a sultry voice which sent shivers down his spine. If this was a dream then he would be happy to listen to that sexy tone all night long.
"What time is it...and is that breakfast I smell?" He asked.
"It's half eight and yes, it is my breakfast that you can smell," Kate said.
Castle groaned quietly, half eight...this was definitely not a dream. He sat up and scrubbed his hands through his hair, trying to wake himself up completely. His hands suddenly froze and his awakening brain supplied him with memories of the previous night. Memories of Kate falling asleep on this sofa, of him carrying her to her bed, of writing her a note. He reviewed what she had said and winced. From the way she had said 'my breakfast' it didn't sound like she was best pleased with him. Had she found his note? If she had did she understand that he'd only done what was best for her? Well, there was only one way to find out. Rick stood up and walked over until he could see Kate sitting in her kitchen eating what looked like cereal. Her hair was wet and she was wearing a simple t-shirt and pants but despite his fears at was was to come Rick couldn't help but think that she looked more adorable than ever!
"Did you...ah...did you get my note?" he asked tentatively, praying that she had.
"Mm...hmm," Kate replied. Taking another mouthful of cereal.
'Mm...hmm, what the hell does that mean?' Rick thought as he stood there looking at her. Was that a good 'Mm...hmm' or a bad 'Mm...hmm'? She refused to meet his eyes and Rick felt his faint hopes fade. She was pissed at him. He stood there, his mind working furiously trying to think of something to say, something to convince her that all he'd been trying to do was take care of her when she suddenly looked up and smiled brightly at him.
"For God's sake Castle," Kate said. "Stop just standing there. Come and have something to eat."
Rick stood stock still as he tried to understand her words. There she was, the love of his life, sitting across from him and smiling at him in a way which just melted his heart. She looked surprisingly relaxed and, he couldn't help but note, infinitely more rested than the previous day. It seemed that, despite all of his worries from the previous night and this morning Kate was not upset or angry with him. Rick let out a sigh of relief and smiled. Today might not be such a bad day after all.
"There's some toast over there and some cereal on the counter. No pancakes this time Castle," Kate said as walked into the kitchen, causing his step to falter. Had she heard what Esposito had said the one and only other time they'd shared breakfast in her apartment. No, no she couldn't have. She was just referencing that day, not commenting on Esposito's not so subtle innuendo.
Rick grabbed a couple of slices of toast from a plate and took a seat next to her. "Did you sleep well Kate? How's your side?" He asked.
"I slept very well thank you," Kate replied. "and my side is stiff and sore – although I suspect it hurts a lot less than it would have done if I'd stayed on the couch." She surprised him then by reaching over and handing his phone back to him, her hand soft and warm in his as she placed his cell into his palm. "Thank you Rick," Kate said, causing his belly to flutter at the warmth in her tone and her rare use of his first name.
Rick closed his hand over his phone, deliberately ensuring that he squeezed her fingers gently in his before slowly withdrawing his hand. "You're more than welcome," He managed, his heart in his mouth. This tenderness between them was so unexpected that Rick had no idea how to react. He'd spent so much time thinking of moments like this with her that now one was actually here his mind had gone blank and he had no idea what to do. And so his brain resorted to his default coping mechanism and he heard himself say, "I'd be happy to carry you to bed anytime detective."
"Don't push your luck Castle," Kate said, sounding resigned at his somewhat tactless, if very true, comment. "At the moment I'm feeling quite forgiving but I might just find some excuse to arrest you."
Panicking slightly now, Rick answered without thinking. "Handcuffs again Kate," before he could stop himself. He flushed a little and held his hands up in apology, "Joking, I'm joking!"
"Uh, huh," Kate said in reply.
Rick clamped his mouth shut to prevent any other half-arsed comments escaping and completely ruining the moment. He counted slowly to five under his breath and very deliberately changed the subject. "Soo," he said. "You're going to go into the precinct today, to finish up the paperwork on the Samuels case?"
"Of course, you know I've got to." Kate replied. "You're always welcome to join me to do your share."
This was more like it, Rick felt on much safer ground indulging in their usual banter. "Uh, much as I would enjoy spending my day watching you type on your computer I don't think I can really add much to that part of your job," he said.
"It's amazing how that whole aspect of police work never manages to find its way into your 'research' or one of your books Castle."
"Writing about someone sitting there typing up reports and filing documents doesn't make for good reading detective, you know that." Rick said, enjoying the relaxed byplay between them. "I have to give my readers what they want. Murder, mystery and danger, yes; paperwork and filing, not so much."
"Ah, so it's your readers' fault that you never help out with the paperwork?" Kate countered.
Rick smiled at Kate's question, he really enjoyed the to and fro of their teasing, appreciating how it had changed over the years from biting comments designed to sting to comments designed to simply challenge or amuse. "Well, that and it's as boring as hell," he said, settling for simple truth. "I also do have to find some time to write otherwise there won't be any more Nikki Heat books and I wouldn't have an excuse to grace you with my company...don't you think that's a better use of my time than watching you do paperwork?"
Rick grinned at her. That had been one of his better retorts, combining her love of his books with a threat of him leaving the precinct, a threat they both knew was so empty it could be double as a vacuum! He expected her to shoot him down in flames for that one but she just stared at him for a few moments before saying "oh, shut up Castle!" The comment was so weak that it was all he could do not to laugh out loud at her. Rick sure as hell didn't know what had gotten in to Kate this morning but he was loving this side of her. Relaxing Rick asked a question about the Samuels case that led to a story about Ryan and Esposito which had them both cracking up. Rick marvelled at the woman he was so casually sharing breakfast with, as if this was something they did every day. She was so relaxed, so natural, so comfortable that Rick forgot about everything other than talking to her. He didn't care about what it was they talked about, just that it was so unbelievably great to be sitting here sharing this time with her. It felt like a huge step forward in their relationship and he was both bemused and joyful at this sudden turn of events. Time passed and he was halfway through a story on how Alexis had gotten a tiny 'L' shaped scar on her leg, and how he had freaked out about it much more than she had, when Kate suddenly jumped to her feet.
"Castle!" Kate exclaimed. "The time, I've got to get to the precinct!"
Rick looked down at his watch and blinked in surprise, it was almost half nine which meant that they'd been talking for almost an hour. He looked guiltily up at her and said, "Kate, I'm sorry – I didn't mean..."
"Oh button it Castle," Kate replied. "It's not your fault. I should have been keeping a closer eye on the time."
Rick's eyebrows lifted in surprise at how easily Kate had taken the blame on herself rather than blame it on him. He was the one which had been doing most of the talking, revelling in the simple pleasure of spening time with Kate. But he shouldn't have gotten so carried away to make her late for work. He looked guiltily at her as she moved their breakfast things to one side of her kitchen counter. "I can do that for you..." he offered.
"No, no, it's fine. I'll do them later." Kae said smiling up at him. "Castle, I'm sorry but I really do have to get ready to go to work."
"I understand Kate," Rick said, jumping to his feet. He was just getting in her way here and she needed to get ready for the precinct. He really did understanf just how vitally important that aspect of her job was in ensuring scum like Samuels were not free to pray on innocent victims. "I'll just grab my jacket and get out of your way." He headed back into her lounge and picked his jacket up from where he had left it on the back of her sofa before walking beside her to her door. Kate opened it for him and he turned towards her, "Are you going to be ok today Kate, with your bruised ribs I mean?" He asked.
Kate rolled her eyes at him. "Yeah Castle, they're sore but I'll survive."
"Well, stick to your paperwork and don't go chasing any bad guys without giving me a call first, ok?"
"What, are you my nanny now Castle?" Kate asked.
"God no!" What a horrifying thought - if he was her nanny he would never be able to do some of the things he so desperately wanted to do with her! "I just don't want to miss out on all the fun!"
"Go home Castle," Kate said, laughing at his feeble attempt at humour.
"Going, going," Rick said casually. He stood there for a moment, taking in her smile and the relaxed and happy look on her face. He really would give up everything he owned to see that look on her face each and every day for the rest of his life. It took all of his willpower to stop himself from leaning forward and gathering her up in his arms. With a supreme effort he limited himself to a simple nod and turned away, walking out of her apartment and towards the elevator.
He only got a couple of steps before he heard Kate call his name. He turned to look at her, wondering if he had forgotten something but she simply said "Thank you, for looking after me." He stood there transfixed by the way she was looking at him. Her whole body seemed to be calling out, to be demanding something from him and whilst his immediate instinct was to run back to embrace her he somehow knew that it wasn't physical contact that she wanted from him right then but something else, something deeper. And for once his usually chaotic thoughts when it came to Kate Beckett and his feelings towards her were clear and pin sharp. He knew exactly what she wanted to hear from him and he tried to convey, with one simple word, all the love and affection he felt for her; his detective, his life.
"Always."
Well that's it! I've no idea whether writing the same story twice but from two different points of view was a good idea but it certainly was a challenge! Hopefully the two stories fit well together and make sense.
C.
