Chapter 3: Bad Decisions

Once inside the Mission, he sat at his desk and booted up his laptop only to stare at it blindly, the anger building. Finally he got up and headed to the gym. He changed into workout clothes and beat the hell out of the heavy bag which had suddenly taken on Paul Rhoades' face. After an hour, the anger was gone, only sadness and grief remaining. He showered and changed back into his street clothes and was back at his desk by 9:00. He started methodically working through the backlog of paperwork he needed to do. He was still planning on going to Tacoma tonight. He would stay until Janie was buried and only then would he return.

When Callen and Sam came in just before 9:30 they were surprised that the shaggy haired detective had beaten them in and was already hard at work. Sam said to Callen, "Look what we got here G, an early Shaggy. Did you feel the Earth shift last night?"

Callen responded with a "Nope. It must have been something major though to get him in here before 9:35." Waiting for Deeks to respond with some joke, the two agents were surprised when he didn't even look up. They looked at each other and were about to say something when Kensi strolled in.

She was also surprised to see her partner here early. "What's this? Why are you here?" she asked.

He finally looked up and quietly replied "I work here Kensi." He then returned to his work, in no mood for banter or teasing. The other three exchanged looks and shrugs and went about getting ready for their day.

As the day progressed, the normally talkative, sunny detective's lack of chatter and jokes had begun to have an effect on the other agents on his team. They began trying to get a rise out him, the teasing going from lighthearted to somewhere just short of mean spirited as he continued to not respond. At one last foray from Kensi, Deeks had finally snapped and said harshly "Shut it, Kensi, just shut it!" His partner had stared at him in shock, her mouth a perfect O. She had only heard that tone from some of his undercover aliases like Max Gentry and never aimed at her. Callen and Sam had instantly come to her defense. Callen calling him out for crossing a line, Sam ordering him to apologize. He had just looked at the two of them. Seriously, after all the things they had said to him over the course of the morning, this is the reaction the two of them had? Of course, they were always on Kensi's side, never taking his. He should really not have been surprised.

He got up and stormed out, not saying anything. On his way out he heard Sam ask Kensi, deliberately loud enough for him to hear "What's up with your partner Kens? Is it his time of the month?"

Callen had laughed and Deeks had waited for Kensi's response. Come on Kens, he thought, stick up for me for once. Don't take their side against me. He knew his partner always had his back out in the field, but it never seemed to make it back to the office. She always sided with "the boys" against him. The agents against the lowly cop.

He heard her laughing reply "I'm not sure. Let's go through his man purse and see if we find any sanitary supplies!" Her response broke his heart a little more and he made a quick decision. He knew it wasn't a good idea to make life altering decisions when in the frame of mind he was in but he couldn't seem to talk himself out of it.

Not knowing where to go, he found himself at the firing range. He put up a target, put on the ear protection and pulled out his gun. He had been practicing shooting with his left hand, figuring that at some point, he might not have use of his right and would need to be able to defend himself or his team using his non dominant hand. Again, he pictured the face of Paul Rhoades, this time on the target and was surprised to see the neat grouping of shots at the head and heart when he pulled the target back.

He headed back to the bullpen and stopped just inside. He looked at Kensi and said "I'm sorry I spoke to you like that Kensi, it will never happen again." in his mind he added "because I won't be here to do it." She nodded her acceptance of his apology and watched her partner sit back down at his desk.

Kensi knew something was up with him but she didn't know how to make him talk. He was always talking, it was usually her that withdrew into silence. She wasn't good at emotions and she hated seeing someone she cared so much about behaving abnormally and not knowing what to do about it. Maybe she'd take him out to dinner after work and get him to open up away from everyone. Satisfied with that decision, she went back to her own work.

Sam and Callen had spoken about the detective while he was out of the room, both speculating on what was up with him. Neither had any idea and it had been decided that Callen, as team leader, would try to get Deeks to open up about what was obviously bothering him so much. As he opened his mouth to speak to him, Deek's phone rang. The detective picked it up, looked at the number and answered "Deeks" as he got up from his desk and walked out of the Mission.

Callen decided to let the day run its course, and if tomorrow their Liaison and friend was still in a funk, he would deal with it then. He hated dealing with touchy feely things.

Watching Deeks leave the room to take a personal call was weird. Sam looked at Callen to see if the team lead had figured out what he was going to do about the tension in the room. Callen shook his head and mouthed "tomorrow" at him. He wasn't sure that was the right decision but it wasn't his call. He'd keep an eye on Deeks and see how things went. He thought about what he knew about the younger man and decided Deeks would tell them about whatever was going on in his own time, in great and annoying detail. Just like he always shared too much about what was going on in his life, always in too much detail.