Author's Note- Hello. This chapter just sort of wrote itself. I love that. Enjoy, and please feel free to leave a review.


Caged

Chapter 3

Desolation


Aoshi bounded out of the stables, intent on the path beneath him. The setting sun beat warmly at his back, highlighting a green land that would someday be his. The worn dirt beneath his feet he had traveled over hundreds of times, and the strong scent of grass and horse hung in the air. At twelve he found himself in the precarious position between childhood and adulthood. His increasingly long limbs swung in a deliberate motion, marking his position in society as noble. Although still adjusting to these changes, his moves were smooth and showed a comfort with the beginning alterations. He had been out riding Rindela for most of the afternoon, a pretty mare that loved going for long periods, stopping to practice when the sun was at its highest point.

His father had told him just last week that he had more promise in magic skills than anyone in the area, and if he studied hard enough he'd be able to go south for training in a few years. It was thrilling to him, astounding.

Turning a corner, he approached his large home. Although he cared for it greatly, the very thought of going south made his heart pound. He wanted so badly to gain skill. He was young yes, but even he could see the importance of magic in the world. He only knew a handful of older individuals that studied it in the area, and he had gone to each of them, asking politely for instruction. Two had given him lessons, and he could feel it being honed within him, getting stronger and clearer. He would become a great warrior and protect his father's lands. He didn't want to rule himself; even now he could see that he had no patience for politics. Sitting in financial meetings with his father was absolute torture. But Kaoru his sister was young, bright, and he would gladly support her claim to rule.

A small smile worked at the corner of his mouth. If he hurried maybe he could join his family for dinner. Then he could eat with his father and sister and tell them the great news. While training today he had successfully cast a sensory charm. He had been able to 'see' all the large life-forms to the edge of the lake! Everything from a fox hidden in the distance to a frog bathing on a rock he had been able to discern. His father would be thrilled, and Kaoru was sure to be jealous.

After dinner he'd promised to take Kaoru outside to the wishing well and read to her. His sister was a hassle at times, always wanting to hang out with him and pestering him. But he could never say no to her. Her big eyes would look at him imploringly, and he would inevitably find himself agreeing with her request. His father had told him multiple times that he needed to be kinder to his younger sister, that she needed more care because she had never known their mother.

She had just begun to show signs of her own magic, dreams and visions happening periodically over the past six months. It had worried his father, who'd looked high and low for a source of guidance to the magic world. His father was old, with little knowledge of the subject. This magic was even rarer than Aoshi's strong talent. His father however wanted what was best for his changing children.

Aoshi didn't really like Lady Yumi, the woman his father had brought to stay with them. It was true that she knew magic, but she was…unsettling. She was nice enough, but watched them both with eyes that seemed calculating and cold. He had tried to tell his father, but his father had smiled and said that he was probably just complaining about the work load. Lady Yumi deserved respect and kindness and it was up to Aoshi to set a good example. He wasn't sure if his father really believed that, or if he was willing to put up with her for his children's' sake.

If that were the case however, he felt his father should simply stop. He did not like her and Kaoru certainly didn't either. She hid to avoid her lessons, and had even cried one or two times. When she came to Aoshi, telling him how scary Lady Yumi was, how she couldn't sleep anymore, he'd began to go to her lessons with her. She had been grateful.

Running up the last few steps to the entrance he stopped at the flurry of movement. Servants were rushing through the large entry way, seemingly frantic and random in their movements. An odd hush had fallen over the place, and he felt something like lead settle in his stomach. The scene was too familiar. A unit of guards directed the crowd, blocking the way to the upstairs. Rushing forward, he ignored everyone and focused primarily on his pathway. His family and guests were the only ones that lived in the upper floors of the building. It was just like before.

Placing himself directly in front of the two stationed guards, he frowned.

"Let me upstairs."

His father always told him that asking kindly would never have the same result. The two guards, both unrecognizable, exchanged a look between each other before allowing him through. He ignored them, taking the stairs two at a time. He couldn't remember exactly what it had been like when his mother had died, but he had heard the stories. After giving birth to his sister she'd grown weak and delirious. Less than an hour later she'd died. For days the whole place had been chaos. The atmosphere was eerily reminiscent.

Reaching the top step he froze at the sight of his sister in the middle of the hallway. Crumpled on the ground, her small hands clenched at her lavender dress as she openly sobbed. He took a tentative step forward, unsure of what to do. Hearing the movement she looked up at him. Her young face was red from crying and her blue eyes were bloodshot and tear filled.

"Aoshi." the voice cracked, "Daddy…Daddy is…"

Her hands reached for him even as she broke down again. Not knowing what else to do, he reached forward and picked her up. She was still relatively small for her age, and she fit within his two arms.

"What happened?"

He was shocked to hear the odd tone in his voice. He sounded close to tears. But the very notion was ridiculous. His father had told him many times that Aoshi was nearly a man. And Aoshi knew without a doubt that men did not cry.

Kaoru made a noise against his chest before breaking down again, wetting the front of his tunic with her tears. His hand moved up and down over her back, trying to do something he knew he wouldn't be able to. She needed to be taken care of, protected. She needed Father.

"Kaoru," he spoke quietly, "I have to go…I have to go see what's happening. Will you wait here for me?"

"I…" he strained his ears to hear her, she was buried in his shoulder, "I saw it yesterday, but I didn't say anything…It's my fault…it's all my fault."

He froze at her words. Kaoru didn't like to talk about her magic, she said it was stupid and made everyone sad. When it had first appeared she would cry for hours after an episode. But he had gotten her to admit that she rarely saw good things…only bad.

Setting her against the wall, he lowered her boneless form. She continued to cry, her hands covering her face. He wanted to stay with her, but he had to know what happened. He spun briefly, glaring down both sides of the hallway. It was dimly lit, the candles on the wall casting a sinister glow. Where was her nanny? Where was everyone else?

"I'll be right back Kaoru, I swear I'll be right back."

He left her against the wall, tearing down towards his father's bedroom. Her hiccupping and crying followed him. The door was wide open, the inside dark and uninviting.

"Father?"

Out of the darkness a shape emerged, and his heart started beating again. Of course his father was fine; Kaoru was overreacting about something else. Something was wrong, but father, he was fine. Father was big and strong and good. He wouldn't leave now. Kaoru and him didn't have a mother anymore, they needed their father.

But it wasn't Father that emerged. Lady Yumi stepped out of the darkness, her emerald gown glittering in the dark. Her hair was pinned carefully to the top of her head, matching jewels placed in an elaborate design. Her lips, painted a startling red, were in the shape of a small frown.

"Aoshi." her voice was like oil and he felt sick listening to it. It was supposed to be Father, not her!

"Where is my Father?"

His voice barely shook.

"Oh." Her hand reached out and rested on his shoulder, "I'm very sorry child, but he passed on just after lunch."

The dim lighting coupled with her pale skin made her look like a corpse.

"Liar."

He pushed her hand away, wanting to throttle her neck. She lifted a perfectly styled eyebrow, than leaned toward him. His magic rippled uneasily. Lady Yumi didn't feel…right.

"Oh, but he did Aoshi. We were eating dinner and then…well…I don't want to seem cruel."

He felt the lie twist out of her mouth and wrap itself around him. The bitch. He didn't know how, he didn't know why…But Lady Yumi had played some part in his Father's demise.

"I want you out." He turned his head and yelled for the guards.

They could arrest her, they had too. Aoshi was in charge now; and he could see the woman hang for her crime.

Her quiet laughter spilled into his train of thought, and he turned towards her in anger.

"Be quiet! You will pay for your actions."

"You sound like a petulant child my dear Aoshi. I have done nothing wrong."

The two guards from the staircase appeared, and Aoshi let out a sigh of relief. Finally, something was going his way. He could have her put into the dungeons, and then he could go back to Kaoru and meet with his Father's old advisors. This was all happening too fast, and a numbness was beginning to steal over him. The knot in his stomach twisted harshly. His father was dead. First his mother, now his father.

"Arrest her."

They looked at each other, than to Lady Yumi. The lead within his stomach seemed to cramp up. They didn't move. They each gave a slight bow to Lady Yumi instead.

"My Lady?"

His head whipped back to her, and he saw triumph gleaming in those cold merciless eyes. NO! Things were not supposed to happen like this!

"Restrain him."

The guards reached forward and twisted his arms backward. Using the hand to hand lessons he had been learning, he dropped into a crouch and managed to throw one off. The other guard brought his hand down hard on the side of Aoshi's face, and he staggered from the blow. Stars dance behind his eyelids, and a heaviness filled his skull. When he finally recovered enough to fight back, he was held by both guards in a move he couldn't break. He was still too small, too weak.

Crouched over, he watched her through the fall of his bang. If only he was able to use more magic, if only he had studied harder. He had never felt so much hate for another human being in his entire life.

"Bitch."

He didn't even recognize his own voice. She smiled wickedly at him.

"Poor Aoshi, trying so hard already to fill your Daddy's shoes? Well, don't worry, I'll take care of everything." She glanced over his shoulder, "Speaking of everything, look who has decided to join us."

Aoshi froze as the sound of feminine crying reached his ears. Kaoru. He renewed his struggles, throwing himself forward and to the side, determined to help the only family he had left. The grip on his arms tightened painfully.

"Brother?"

He glanced over his shoulder, his heart thudding painfully in his chest. Her voice was hesitant, and the tears on her cheeks were fresh. She stood in the center of the hallway looking small and delicate.

"Kaoru run." He could sense the mounting hysteria in himself, "Run Kaoru, run away now!"

Kaoru may have been distraught and in pain, but Aoshi knew his sister. She turned around and took off down the hall, not asking questions. Her dress swished as she turned the corner out of their sight. Good girl. Even if he wouldn't make it…maybe…maybe Kaoru could.

Another guard came out of his Father's room and took off after her. He jerked forward again, and the guard to his right hit him hard. He lurched to the side and for a moment nearly fell forward limp. Turning his head back to Yumi he wondered how deep her claws had gotten. Was there anyone left loyal to the family? Who could he possibly go to for help? Anger, fear, and sorrow welled inside of him. How could he protect his sister? He wasn't good enough, wasn't tough enough, not yet.

If Kaoru was fast enough she could probably get to the hidden staircase that led outside. But even if she got there, then what? The castle was filled with traitors. She was still young, innocent in the ways of the world. She needed someone to guard her, take care of her. If there was no one to help her, she wouldn't last long outside the castle. He needed to escape.

"You seem to be thinking such deep thoughts my dear child. Would you like to share them?"

Her silken voice cut through his thoughts and he turned his head barely in her direction. Aoshi didn't bother to say anything to her, she was deliberately being cruel. He really wanted to hurt her.

"Such anger Aoshi, I can see it in your eyes." Her hand reached for him and he jerked away, "They give you away."

She stepped back from him and he could practically feel the smile on her blood red lips. It ran over him like in a thick heavy wave. Yumi turned and began down the hall, her steps reminding him of a snake's slither. This didn't feel natural, this didn't feel real.

His sister's cry cut through the sudden stillness.

Something inside of him began to die. He pulled against his restrainers in a futile effort.

Yumi stopped partway down the hall and glanced over her shoulder. She looked incredibly satisfied.

"Bring him."

He didn't fight the guards that hauled him roughly by the arms. If possibly he would have dragged them. Anything to get closer to Kaoru. Yumi turned at the end of the hall and went into her own room. He and the guards followed. Aoshi's pulse beat erratically in his ears, an uneven sound that seemed louder than it could possibly be.

Aoshi had never been into Lady Yumi's room, had never wanted to see her chamber. The walls were a deep burgundy, with heavy golden drapes covering the windows. Dark wood was used in the cabinetry and woodwork, and instruments of all sorts lay throughout the room. He took in a deep breath and nearly gagged. The room smelled revolting, causing his already tight stomach to roll with nausea.

The door closed behind him and with it so did his hope. Yumi had him right where she wanted him. He wasn't sure what she wanted with him, but he was in her claws. His father was dead. He was pathetic. What could he do? Glancing across the room his heart froze within him.

No, please…no.

Kaoru sat in a chair, a thick rope holding her in place. She cried quietly.

He moved toward her instinctively, the men holding him not registering until he found himself unable to go.

"Kaoru."

His voice was soft, but loud enough that it broke through to her. Her large eyes opened to him, and he was lost in a sea of blue misery. She looked delicate and even younger to him, and the urge to protect was so strong it was painful.

Yumi walked over to his sister and stood behind her, resting her hands on his younger sister's shoulders. Kaoru shuddered before beginning to cry again. He wanted to scream at Yumi.

"Get your hands off of her."

His voice was low and shook with fury.

"Aoshi, my child, you really must be more aware of the words you speak. You simply have no manners."

She leaned forward so that her head was level with Kaoru's.

"What do you think my sweet?"

Kaoru twisted her head away from Yumi's and continued crying. Yumi made a small frown before brushing a stray face from his frightened sister's face. She straightened herself and turned her attention back to Aoshi. He could see the calculation in her gaze, and the immense pleasure it was coupled with.

"Aoshi, you seem like a very smart boy, at least, that was what your father always said." He didn't rise to her bait, "So I'm going to let you make the decision concerning your fate."

He felt the tension increase within him, so that he was nearly trembling. What did she have up her sleeve?

"If you like, I can have a horse readied for you and you can leave immediately." She glanced appraisingly at her nails, "Otherwise you are more than welcome to stay and serve me."

She spoke sweetly, and one of her hands returned to his sister's shoulder. A feeling of dread filled him.

"What about Kaoru?"

Yumi's smile turned sickly sweet.

"You know your sister is much too young to travel. And she really needs a maternal influence at such a young age. No, I think she will need to stay with me."

As she spoke, Kaoru's crying grew harder and Aoshi saw her imploring look. She was terrified, scared, and within Yumi's grasp, she would suffer. What was he supposed to do?

Yumi motioned with one hand and a guard carrying a bowl came forward.

"I can't leave Kaoru."

Her actions didn't pause.

"Somehow I knew you would say that Aoshi. You have so much honor and duty; it reminds me of your father."

He bit the inside of his mouth to keep himself from saying what he wanted to. He watched her dip her hands into the bowl and they came out a dark red. It looked like…blood.

"Well, then, of course you must stay with her. But, if you do stay you are mine Aoshi." She stressed each syllable, "If you remain, from this point forward you belong to me."

He couldn't fight the shudder. Looking at Kaoru, he tried to weigh his options. Her eyes flickered between each of them and her tremble had grown to full out shaking. They were more than backed into a corner.

"I will stay with you…but only for Kaoru. If I stay it is only for her."

Yumi pursed her lips.

"Alright Aoshi, you may stay and guard your precious Kaoru. But you will never raise a hand against me; you will never talk out of turn to me. You two will no longer be noble, no longer be special. You will only be mine."

As she spoke she drew on the far wall a series of loops and designs. They were unfamiliar to him. But he felt the change in the room, the sudden weight that seemed to fill the air. He recognized it as magic. What was he supposed to do? He stood and watched in silence as the design grew more and more complicated. The design finished in a last loop and she dipped her hands again in the bowl. A low humming filled his ears.

The air felt charged with a heavy layer of malice.

"Remember Aoshi," she stepped up next to his sister, "You chose to stay. You chose this."

Her hands came up, putting themselves against the young girl's temple.

Kaoru screamed.

Aoshi jerked awake, his entire body trembling. His breath was heavy and uneven, and his body covered in a cold sweat. He remained still as the last vestiges of sleep fled from his mind. The sheets that had been so straight when he'd fallen into bed were tangled with his legs, pulled from his twisting and turning. Sitting up he brought a hand to his forehead. His other hand clenched the bed beneath him. His sightless eyes opened and the blackness they showed was all encompassing and unending.

He let his magic flare out. The room was still secure. Furnished at the bare minimum, Aoshi could hear the creaks and groans from the old building. He could identify each of them. Someone was pacing in the hall, there were three people in the kitchens washing dishes, and the drapes near the garden had been left open and were moving restlessly. Not moving his body he sent his magic to the room down the hall from him. Kaoru's doors were still secure. Inside he felt her low energy and knew she was in a sleep caused from exhaustion. The wards he had set up were still functioning and in place. He could practically see her form curled protectively around itself, thick blankets piled up to her chin. He hastily wiped the sweat from his brow, shaken and furious with himself.

It hadn't mattered how much he'd trained, how much stronger he had grown. The memory turned nightmare still plagued him at least once a week. The chaos of his home, his sister openly sobbing on the hallway floor, and Yumi's wicked smile all came back in a rush of disturbing clarity. Each night the nightmare crept on him, it would play out the same and he would wake the same. And he deserved it. Every awful gut wrenching moment that left him weak and nauseous. He pulled at the entangling suffocating sheets even as he reached out to Kaoru again. Aoshi let himself get lost in sensing his younger sister's presence even as the last remnants of his nightmare passed. Kaoru.

Late at night, when it was just him, he often found himself thinking of the past. The evening that had destroyed his sister and left him enslaved would play in front of his sightless eyes. And through it all Kaoru grew more innocent, more in need of him; and Yumi's viciousness grew sharper and stronger. 'If only' had become a mantra he repeated and prayed nightly. Under the cover of darkness he let himself wish and worry, and say those two damnable words. They were foolish words, words that could lead to nothing but more despair. Aoshi knew that. But his despair was already never ending, it was already a heavy suit he never removed. He knew that everything was his fault, knew that because of his feeble attempts Kaoru was now daily mocked and miserable. And there was nothing he could do about it. He, like her, was trapped.

He pulled himself up and let his feet rest on the cold stone of his floor. Although the chill bit into his body, he ignored the uncomfortable feeling. His physical discomfort was something that he reveled in. He didn't deserve to feel good, didn't deserve his sister's unwavering love. Kaoru with her wide blue eyes, and shy smile. He wondered how time had changed her. They didn't come into physical contact much, but he knew that she wasn't a young girl anymore. She had grown into a young woman. His hands stilled in his lap. He couldn't imagine it. Whenever Aoshi sensed her, guarded her, all he could see was his frightened sister sobbing in the middle of the hallway.

It was silly, he knew that. Even the lavender dress that he could recall so vividly was now ridiculous. His sister didn't wear lavender or any other color for that matter anymore. She wore black. Thick, heavy, constricting black. He hadn't known that immediately after his eyesight had been sealed away, but eventually as he grew more accustomed to his handicap he had heard the talk. Kaoru, so young and full of life, now nothing more than a carnival act. God, it was agony. To want so much for her, and to be unable to do anything for her. He shook his head at the thought. That wasn't completely true. He could do one thing for her. Aoshi had gotten unbelievably strong despite both his magical and physical handicap, and he used all his strength to keep her safe. He'd killed countless threats to her life, assassins sent by enemies of Yumi and haters of magic. Though he could not kill the one person he longed to.

Yumi. With her black heart and malevolent mind he longed to end her life. Those were his dreams, the best things he could see in his sleep. Snapping her thin neck, choking the air from her red lips as she strained against him, pummeling her with his fists until she was nothing more than a puddle of blood. And then he would take Kaoru and run away, finally freeing her from the life she was living. She would laugh and giggle and wear lavender again. Aoshi closed his sightless eyes and took a deep breath.

Those dreams were as bad as they were good. To see his sister again, to free her from Yumi.

He would feel shaky for hours after waking from them. The elation, the happiness. To open his eyes to never ending darkness and know that it was nothing more than a far fetched fantasy nearly destroyed him. Yumi was alive, and he couldn't kill her. Kaoru was entrapped, and he would never see her again. He deserved that misery too.

Aoshi stood up, knowing that sleep wouldn't visit him again tonight. Opening his dresser he pulled out a pair of trousers and a shirt. He was smart enough that all of his clothing matched each other. Shrugging on the shirt and pants, he brought a hand up through his hair.

This was his life, and he needed to accept its ultimate futility. He could not raise a hand to Yumi, he could not free his sister. Aoshi could get a hundred times stronger, and it still would not be enough.

Opening then shutting the door behind him, he set up wards then set off down the hall. It was empty at this time, but still he let his magic flare up and down in sweeps. With all the people visiting for the fair he needed to be extra attentive. This was a prime opportunity for someone to try and hurt his sister.

Approaching Kaoru's door he slouched on the wall across from it. He knew that she would more than likely sleep late into the day. The unsealing and resealing of her magic weakened her drastically. For the next few days he would have to pay careful attention to her, make sure that she didn't push herself. She always did. Kaoru would get up earlier than she should and try to act like it was nothing, that it didn't hurt her. But he knew. He could feel Yumi lift her spell when she did, feel all the power that usually hovered ominously over Kaoru arrow in and consume her. He knew that it wasn't natural; his magic could feel just how ill his sister's magic was, how much it had been altered.

And it was starting to take longer for her to recover. The longer she was like this, the worse it was getting for her. He had tried to shrug it off at first, but he simply couldn't deny it anymore. Kaoru was getting weaker and weaker. The cycle would kill her.

She was so close, only a door and the length of a room away. But it didn't matter. Yumi was a hawk, and she loved to exploit any weakness he showed. Every bit of kindness he gave to Kaoru would cause her to show double the amount of malice. When they'd been younger and he had tried to be the brother he wanted to be, Kaoru had almost always been in tears. Yumi would find innumerable reasons to punish her, and it destroyed him every time because he knew the truth. Aoshi could see it in her eyes, in every gesture she made. Although she was hurting Kaoru, she did it to hurt him, to make him feel helpless and weak. And he had. His entire youth he had struggled to love his sister and hid that love from Yumi.

Aoshi had learned quickly to make himself a blank empty shell. Never again would he let Yumi use Kaoru to upset him.

He inwardly grimaced at his thinking.

Aoshi was still stuck in a fantasy if he truly believed that. The course of his life had been shifted from that night so long ago. Everything Yumi did made his blood boil, and no matter how blank he was now, he hadn't been that way always. And his own eyes, though they weren't able to reveal a thing anymore, had given away the depths of his feelings for Kaoru on that night.

So he would forever dance to whatever tune his tormentor played, because he hadn't been strong enough.

Knowing that the hall was empty, he didn't stop his shoulders as they slumped.

If only.


AN: Next time- Misao does some exploring and Kaoru escapes for some alone time.