HA! See? This story isn't dead! Just... delayed... a lot... :P
Chapter 3: The Saharan Spy
Secret Lair, 6:05 P.M.
"Falilcane! Falilicane!" A black-robed man said, running past several bandits. The Secret Lair was called "The Shadow Cove," and was the Headquarters of the Shadow Guns. They had sentries and agents everywhere in the city. One happened to be watching Link and Zelda conversing, and had returned to the commander of the Shadow Guns Operations; Henry Falilcane.
The robed man walked up to his superior. Like many of the bandits, he had a black cloak. He was equipped with dual daggers, and his cloak had the Shadow Guns Insignia on the back. His body guards were both equipped with AK-47s, making one wonder where they had set up operations before.
"What is it?" Henry asked.
"Sir, the man who had defeated our small party yesterday was seen today. I later followed him to his home, and he's going to buy a sword. We must ambush him now if we are to eliminate this threat."
"Very well. Send in our Elite Party to silence this fool." Henry said.
The bandit nodded as he bowed and left.
"Luke Hero..." Henry said quietly. "You have picked the wrong guild to fight..."
Weapon smith, 6:15 P.M.
Link smiled as he stepped out the shop with his new, iron sword. "I finally have a new sword. I better find a way to find these bandits."
He sheathed his sword and started his trek home. It was quite dark, but it did not bother him. He was quite atoned to nighttime ever since that "Twilight Princess" incident.
On his way home, all he could think about was how he could get more intelligence on these bandits. Perhaps interrogate people they have mugged. Or try and find their headquarters in the city. If all fails, he could just let them capture him and sabotage them from the in-side-out.
His thoughts were interrupted when he heard a knife being unsheathed. Even though there many people out, he could hear the knife, most likely because of his giant ears. He quickened his pace. He knew that even if there were bandits around, if he gave out his position it would be the end of him.
He soon escaped the hustle and bustle of the city. Only a few more blocks until he would reach his house. Link looked around and saw no one. He assured that his hood was tightened, and continued his merry way. Again, he heard a knife unsheathed. But this time, he also head a gun being loaded.
He quickly drew his sword and faced behind him, but no one was there. "Whoever you are, show yourself!" He commanded. Obviously, no one dared to come out. Link checked his surroundings, and continued his walk. He knew what would happen. He silently counted down in his head.
5... 4... 3... 2...
As soon as he counted down to "1," he turned around and met a bandit with his fist. The bandit flinched as he stumbled backwards. He regained his consciousness as he gestured his partners. 5 more bandits surrounded Link. They all had black and red robes and red capes with the Shadow Guns emblem on them. One, however, had instead a red suit and a cigarette in his mouth. He had a black ski mask on, and a red Fez and sunglasses on.
"Well, well, well." The formally dressed bandit said. He had a distinct, French accent. "It seems we have a challenge for once. Before we begin ze bloodshed, let me introduce myself. I am known as "Ze Saharan Spy," leader of the elite squadron of the Shadow Guns, known as the "Blood Forgers." We have been sent to exterminate you."
"Don't frickin' tell him dat!" One bandit said irritably. He had a wooden bat in his hand. He looked only about 17 years of age. "I know it's like da law er somethin' to tell people ya evil plans, but COME ON! This guy took out 5 frickin' soldiers the other day, don't ya think he might beat us? He's got a sword for God's sake!"
"Silence." The Saharan Spy said. "Someone should cut your tongue off."
Another bandit, who had a shotgun in his hands, snickered. "I'd second that."
"You want me to do it?" A bandit with a large knife asked. "I got this Rambo knife right here!" He laughed.
The bandit that Link hit earlier, groaned. "My face hurts."
"SILENCE!" The Spy commanded again. His team fell silent. "Now, I would love to carry zis conversation on, but Henry Falilcane wants your head. On a silver platter."
Link drew his sword. "Come at me, you wretches!"
The Saharan Spy suddenly disappeared with a glance at his golden watch. The other 5 bandits readied their weapons. The bandit with the shotgun fired his gun. Link jumped to avoid the gunfire, but 2 bullets managed to hit his right leg. He fell back to the ground in pain, but got back into his fighting stance.
"Take this knuckle-head!" The jittery bandit said, throwing a baseball at Link with deadly accuracy. Link could not react in time and was nailed in his face. "Bam! I betcha you got a nice look at that!" He taunted.
Link fell to his knee, dazed. His vision was blurred and he swore he could taste blood. But not the time for lingering on his pain. Now was the time for fighting. Link quickly leaped out of the way of another attack. He swung his sword forward, barely missing the knife-wielding bandit.
"I have to disarm that gun using mobster." Link said to himself, seeing the shotgunner reloading his gun. As quickly as he could, he rushed up to him, kicked him in his stomach, and sliced his gun into 2.
"Why you little..." He said in an angry tone. He pulled his hand back, ready to punch Link. However, he gasped as he looked down, to see that Link had stabbed him in his stomach. He lifelessly fell to the ground as Link pulled his sword out.
Note to self, clean sword. Link thought.
"Oh God, he killed Ivan!" The young bandit said in fear.
"No kidding, Sherlock." Another bandit said. He pulled back his sledgehammer, read to smash Link's head in.
Link rolled out of the way, which was quite painful, considering there were 2 bullets in his right leg. He quickly grabbed a piece of the shotgun he broke, and threw it against the hammer bandit's head. If he learned anything from the Super Smash Tournaments, was that ANYTHING could be used as a lethal weapon. He learned that lesson after Samus defeated him in one tournament by throwing a broken piece of her armor at him.
The bandit was hit in the groin. After squealing painfully, he fell to the ground in shame, humiliation, and sheer manhood-pain.
2 down, 3 to go. Link rushed up to the bandit with the large knife, and quickly disarmed him. He followed up by hitting him with his sword hilt, and elbowing him in his stomach. A bandit with a broken bottle swung his weapon. "I may be drunk, but I can still fight like a- AHHHHHH!" Too late, as Link had took his sword and slashed the bandit's chest 3 times, causing him to fall and die. Link turned his head towards the last bandit.
The young bandit's face was full of fear and despair. "P-P-please don't murder me! I d-don't wanna dieeee!" He pleaded. He curled up into a ball, hugging his legs.
"You're pathetic." Link spat. "I'll spare your life now, but if we ever cross paths, it will not be the same outcome."
"Oh God! Thank you thank you thank you!" The teenager said.
Link raised his eyebrow. "You're not like these other bandits, are you?"
"Phhfft..." The bandit said, standing back up. "Please... I was abandonned when I was a child. These bozoes took me in, so what otha choice did I have? I just want ta live as somethin' other than a thief. Crook. Two-timin-scum-sucking-back-stabbing-scumbag." The bandit paused. "Hey, tongue twister! 'two-timin-scum-sucking-back-stabbing-scumbag!' 'Two-schiming-scum-scucking-bank-scabbing-sctumgag!'"
Link studied the teenager's features. An thin face, brown eyes, slightly tanned skin... "Hey, what's your name again?"
"Da name's 'Jake.'" He said. "Although you were about ta kill me, I like ya. Whats yer name?"
"Luke." Link replied. Realizing that Jake is in an elite position of the Shadow Guns, he might have information on them. "Hey, can I ask you something?"
"Sure. But not now. Looks like da boss is back." Jake said.
Link turned around to see the Saharan Spy from before, clapping slowly. "Well done, Luke... Well done... I've expected you to defeat our squadron."
"You set me up?" Jake yelled with boiling anger.
"But of course. You didn't really think you had any real skill, did you?" The Spy said without remourse.
"I outta kill ya right now!" Jake rushed up at devastating fast speed, and smashed the Saharan Spy's head in, killing him instantly. "Bam!"
However, a loud, electric noise went off, and the Saharan Spy reappeared at a far ally. "This is not the end! The Shadow Guns will never stop hounding you!" He ran off into the night.
Jake raised his fist up angrily. "Great! Now I got no place ta go!" He angrily kicked a can away.
Link walked up to the angry teenager. "Would you like to stay over at my place?" He asked.
"Really? Sweet! Thanks man! I owe you big time!" Jake said, spirit lifted.
Link took the opportunity to ask him for information. "Well, actually, I do have something in mind. Do you have any information on this bandit guild?"
"Hell yeah!" Jake replied. "All sorts of stuff. Their weaponry, their tactics, their favorite foods, everythin'! Why?"
Link started walking. "It would be best if we get back to my home."
"Yeah... that'd sound good right there." Jake replied. "But what about the bodies?"
"They have the Shadow Guns capes on. The cops know that they don't have to go looking for the killers if they are part of that guild." Link replied. "Also, lose the accent."
"Accent? What frickin' accent?" Jake asked ignorantly, as he took off his own cape and tore it to pieces. The two started their trek back home.
The Next Day, Smash Mansion 11:00 A.M.
Zelda curiously walked into Ike's room. Ike had to go back to his homeland for the week, much to Zelda's dismay. However, he promised that he would come back 2 days before the wedding. Ike lived in his room alone. Before he had shared his room with Link, who had been banned.
Like any other room, there were 2 beds and plenty of space for each person to put their belongings. One half of the room was colored red, while the other half was green. The green side of the room was completely empty, minus the hardwood drawer, while Ike's side had many pictures and relics from his home, and several more pictures of him and Zelda.
She walked towards Link's former side of the room. She looked around, making sure no one was around, and opened up Link's former drawer. Perhaps he had left something that would give her a clue on where Link had gone.
"Nothing... nothing... nothing... one of his earrings... What's this?" She picked up a small book with nothing labled on it. "Link has a diary?" She opened it up, with several things jolted down.
October 5th, 2008
Recent rumors of the Shadow Guns are starting to spread panic in the Smashville civilians. Master Hand said that we shouldn't be interfering with this, but I think otherwise. I've gathered up a few up fellow smashers: Mario, Meta Knight, Pit, and Snake. Pit suggested that I bring Ike, claiming his 'firepower' would prove useful. I strongly went against it. My roommate is not my friend, nor would I even greet him with a 'hello.' Zelda's been falling for him, I could tell. I would love to punch that swordsman in his face, but he's not my enemy right now. I must first deal with these mythical Shadow Guns.
As for our party, we heard commotion of these bandits from the citizens, but we never fought any that night. We had to abort when Crazy Hand started to stab a hot dog with a sword made entirely out of bells and whistles. That would have given us away, had we been near him. Crazy Hand's... craziness continues to boggle me.
Zelda raised her eyebrows. "Back then, the Shadow Guns were just rumors... Link was investigating them under everyones' noses." She had already (sort-of) figured out that Link had loved her, mainly because of letter he had sent her with the sword. She turned the page.
October 10th, 2008
Damn it all! That idiot Ike asked Zelda out yesterday for a nighttime walk. Despite my own morals, I followed them stealthily. Well, stealthily until I stepped on a rubber duck that Crazy Hand had littered around the lake. I've never seen Zelda's face that red in anger and annoyance in my life. As for Ike, well, he locked me out of my room afterwards. After that day, I was wondering 2 things: 1: Have I really lost Zelda? And 2: Why the hell did Crazy Hand throw rubber ducks around a pool at 11 P.M.?
"Oh right..." Zelda remembered, her face turning slightly red. Nervously, she turned the page.
October 25th, 2008
Well, that's it. I've lost. Game over. Ike has Zelda, and I don't. I caught them kissing. To top it off, it turns out that Master Hand found out that I snuck out 3 weeks ago. After cleaning up the Final Destination, repairing the mechanics in the Alloys, and giving Crazy Hand a bath, I confronted Zelda, and she flung me out of her room. I've lost any chance of getting together with Zelda. Well, at least it wasn't a total loss that day.
To take my mind off of them, I took a walk around the city. Some people were talking about the Shadow Guns. I evasdropped on one of their conversations, and perhaps this bandit Guild is real. But for now, it's been a very, very long, painful day for me. Dammit Ike, I will have my way, one way or another.
Zelda's eyes looked down shamefully. While she would have never hurt Link directly, she apparently must have half-killed him indirectly. "He must have really loved me..." She said quietly.
She knew that she couldn't just sit in Ike's room for the whole day, so she used Farore's Wind and teleported to her room with Link's Journal. She placed the book carefully into her drawer, which was filled with several other books from Hyrule. "I'll take a look at you, later." Perhaps she could possibly find a few more things out about Link, maybe even where he had gone to.
The End...
... of chapter 3. Anyway, long-time-no-read. 3 things. 1: Cookie to anyone who guesses who I based the "Saharan Spy" off of. 2: Another Cookie to anyone who can guess what 1 + 1 is an extremely profound way. 3: No more cookies!
... okay, fine. The real number 3: This fiction won't be updated often, but I promise you all that I'll continue it. I'm more of a humor author, so this isn't exactly my cup of tea. *holds up a... cup of tea that says "HUMOR" on the side* Anyways, I'll see you all later. Critisicisisism is appreciated. Telling me that I spelt "Critisicisisism" wrong is NOT appreciated. So, tune in, and (possibly within 2 months) find out what happens next in "Remember Me?"
