Author's Note: Thanks for sticking with it for another chapter. In the previous chapter, we found out what was making The Doctor so... hot. Now, what's he going to do about it? Feedback is happily consumed.
FADE IN:
INT. TARDIS - AMY'S ROOM - DAY
Amy sits with her hands over her ears as the Doctor's
screams continue in the background.
AMY
Why are you doing this? What are
you doing to him? Please, let me
out. Please...
More screams. Amy steels herself and stands up.
AMY
Let. me. out. This instant!
After a second, the screaming stops. The ship stabilizes.
AMY
Thank you!
INT. TARDIS CONTROL ROOM - DAY
The ship is quiet and humming again. Amy walks cautiously
out into the control room.
THE DOCTOR
(as if through speakers)
Hello! Amy Pond? Hello?
She looks around and sees a display screen near the console
playing a video message from The Doctor. In the video, he is
still shirtless, but, for some reason, he wears his bow tie
again. It's cool. And hot. All at the same time.
THE DOCTOR
Hello! Amy Pond? Hello?
AMY
(uncertain)
Hello...
THE DOCTOR
Hello! Amy Pond? Hello?
AMY
I said "hello." Now, Doctor, where
are you?
THE DOCTOR
Hello! Amy Pond? Hello?
Amy notices a note stuck to the monitor. It says "press the
green button." She pulls the note off.
AMY
Just a recording then.
She hits the green button.
THE DOCTOR
So the TARDIS is going to do some
temporal permutations to hurry
along the time you have to wait in
your room. She won't be able to do
the same when I'm not a Time Lord,
I'm afraid, so you'll be forced to
wait the old-fashioned way.
AMY
What do you mean when you're not a
Time Lord?
THE DOCTOR
You're probably freaking out right
now... and that's understandable
because things are about to get a
bit freaky. Here's the thing: yes,
I was really, truly dying before-
well, that's now for me, but never
mind those superfluous little timey-
wimey details of chronology.
AMY
Get to the point, Doctor...
THE DOCTOR
The point is... I couldn't just do
that Time Lord-y thing to which you
alluded earlier because the new me
would still be a Time Lord. As long
as I am a Time Lord, the poison
from the Dominustempore Interfectus
will be slowly, painfully killing
me. If I regenerate, the whole
process will just start over again.
AMY
So what did you do, Doctor? And
where are you?
THE DOCTOR
I'm sure you're wondering about
what the alternative was... and
where I've got off to.
AMY
And...
THE DOCTOR
I am about to use a device called
the Chameleon Arch to alter my DNA
from Time Lord into something
more... well... human.
AMY
More what?
THE DOCTOR
Actually "alter" is the wrong word.
It's going to completely rewrite my
DNA. I'll be entirely human.
AMY
Entirely what?
THE DOCTOR
It's really, really, really going
to hurt. You're going to hear me
screaming. Or you have done
already. Sorry about that. Really.
If it helps, that temporal trick
the TARDIS is going to do-or did,
in your case-blimey, I never
realized how complicated consistent
tense use can be. Anyhow, it
probably made the hours seem like
just a few minutes.
He gazes into the camera for a long beat; he looks a little
scared. Amy looks back, sympathetically.
THE DOCTOR
Speaking of the TARDIS, she must be
getting more cooperative in her old
age-plus, I think she really likes
you-and so she's going to find us
a placement based on the parameters
you requested earlier. We'll just
sort of be integrated into this
life, and this is the best bit
here, I'll honestly think we've
been living it all along... because
I won't remember this...
(he gestures around)
at all.
AMY
What?
THE DOCTOR
Don't freak out.
AMY
What?
THE DOCTOR
I'll wait to allow time for
freaking out.
AMY
This is unbelievable! Unbelievable!
What do you mean you're turning
into a human? And an amnesiac one
at that! You can't be a human.
You're a Time Lord! You're the Time
Lord. Last one in the universe.
You're The Doctor... not... not...
THE DOCTOR
Okay. That should be enough time
now. Got it all out of your system?
AMY
Nooooo...
THE DOCTOR
Now, my whole Time Lordiness: my
heart, my soul... my hopes, my
dreams... my whole essence and my
awareness of who I really am...
it'll be stored in this locket.
(he holds up a beautiful
silver locket with subtle Time
Lord symbols engraved in)
It's there... by the time rotor.
He looks off screen toward the control console. Amy scoops
the locket off a hook and examines it.
AMY
It's beautiful.
THE DOCTOR
The TARDIS came up with it. She
thinks you should wear it. She
trusts you as much as I trust you,
Amy Pond. And I trust you loads.
He looks into the camera for another long moment as Amy puts
the necklace on. She runs her thumb across the locket, about
to open it.
THE DOCTOR
Oh, right! Right, I should say,
don't open it. Don't open it!
Amy stops and looks up at the screen.
THE DOCTOR
The poison in my system has a
half-life of about 3 weeks. That
means, to be at safe levels, I need
to be human for at least...
(he writes in the air)
three months.
AMY
Three months!
THE DOCTOR
You said you'd wait for me.
Amy huffs.
AMY
But for three months?
THE DOCTOR
All you have to do is keep me safe
and keep me alive... as a human...
for three months. If you open the
locket before that time, I'll die.
Amy's eye's widen.
THE DOCTOR
Noooo, I'm just kidding. Well, I
hope I am in case you accidentally
drop it or something. A right
butterfingers, you are.
AMY
You should talk, Klutz McClumsy.
THE DOCTOR
But, anyway, along with the
standard cloaking device and
containment chip, it's got an Amy
Pond-tuned psychic field activated.
That means if you open it just a
little-just a crack-we can
communicate for a few seconds.
There could be side effects so use
it sparingly and only if there's
danger (or if you miss me
terribly). When it's time for me to
return to you-this me, the real
Time Lord me-stand in front of my
human form and open the locket all
the way. But not until it's time.
AMY
What if-
THE DOCTOR
If there's an emergency, though,
open it if you have to, but only if
you have to. You're clever, Amy,
and you can handle more than you
think you can. I promise. And,
barring the human me isn't a
complete duffer, I might even be
able to assist. Imagine that! Me
assisting you. What fun!
Amy laughs and shakes her head at his enthusiasm. She looks
down at the locket then pauses the video. She takes a deep
breath and opens the locket just slightly... just a crack.
THE DOCTOR
(airy, from locket)
Hello, Pond. Miss me already?
AMY
No! I was just trying it out.
THE DOCTOR
You need to close it now. I'm not
nearly ready. Soon enough, though.
Amy closes the locket. She looks back up at the screen and
hits the green button. The recording starts again.
THE DOCTOR
Now, last thing: the rules.
AMY
Rules? There are rules for this?
Because you've done this before,
right? Of course you have.
THE DOCTOR
One: don't worry about the TARDIS.
In case you hadn't noticed, she can
take care of herself. Four... wait,
three... wait, we're only on two?
AMY
Tell me about it.
THE DOCTOR
Okay, two: we're set to live in the
nineties. Don't go trying to change
any major historic events.
AMY
The nineties?
THE DOCTOR
Three: have fun with this.
AMY
In America... in the nineties? What
am I going to do? Put on my
hyper-color t-shirt, hang at the
skatepark and listen to boy
bands... on my portable CD player?
THE DOCTOR
Number four: Please, please...
don't let me hurt anyone.
AMY
You would never-
THE DOCTOR
The human me isn't The Doctor me.
You'll realize that straight off.
It may be a good approximation...
but it may not. Be prepared. Try
not to hate the human-y me even if
he turns out to be a right git.
AMY
I doubt I'll hate you doctor.
THE DOCTOR
And corollary to the "don't let me
hurt anyone" rule: don't let me
fall in love with anyone.
AMY
Love? You? Please.
THE DOCTOR
Remember, human me: totally
different-much more... human.
AMY
Much more boy. Interesting.
THE DOCTOR
If I even look like I might start
to fancy someone-stop me.
AMY
And how am I supposed to do that?
THE DOCTOR
Distract me. Do whatever it takes.
Something occurs to The Doctor.
THE DOCTOR
Unless it turns out to be-well,
never mind, that would be highly
unlikely considering the details
are to be filled in by the TARDIS.
The Doctor winces and keels forward slightly. Amy frowns.
THE DOCTOR
(in pain)
Remember, Pond, I trust you.
Amy watches, concerned, as the on-screen Doctor seems to
recover. She breathes a sigh of relief.
THE DOCTOR
And I'm putting my faith in you.
Absolutely every drop of it.
AMY
All right, all right.
THE DOCTOR
Don't let me go off and meet some
woman with whom I'll fall in love-
AMY
Still on about love, Doctor?
THE DOCTOR
Because when I eventually cease to
be human... she'll be hurt.
AMY
Who cares? I hate her already.
THE DOCTOR
And I'll be hurt more.
Amy looks up at the screen, at The Doctor's sad face.
Suddenly, he brightens.
THE DOCTOR
Okay, I actually thought of
something more important than
anything else I've said.
AMY
Great.
THE DOCTOR
Now, then, what number were we on?
One, two, three, four... ah, yes,
five! V, as the Romans say. And,
when in Rome-but we're not. When
in New York... oh, that brings me
back on track. Apples.
AMY
Apples? The conclusion to that mad
rambling was actually "apples."
THE DOCTOR
As you may recall from the night we
first met, Amelia Pond, I think
apples are rubbish. Actually, since
that night, my distaste for that
disgusting, grainy fruit has
increased so substantially that if
I find out you let me eat one while
I'm a human, when I become a Time
Lord again, I may decide to drop
you back off in Leadworth and never
speak to you again. It's that
important to me, Pond. No apples.
AMY
No apples. Check. Now, is that it?
THE DOCTOR
There are only about thirty more
rules to go over and then-
AMY
Oh, you've got to be kidding-
THE DOCTOR
But I tell you what... you can come
back and watch the rest
later-you'll figure most of them
out along the way anyway.
Amy stares at the screen.
THE DOCTOR
All right, off you go.
AMY
Where? Where are you?
THE DOCTOR
Go on. Right out the door and into
our flat.
Amy wrinkles her brow.
AMY
Our flat?
THE DOCTOR
Or our "apartment" as they say here
in the Big Apple. Eugh, Big Apple.
Seriously, Pond, no apples.
Amy rolls her eyes and heads for the door.
FADE TO BLACK.
