AU: What if Tony spent his "last" birthday exactly the way he really wanted to?
This my first multi-chapter pepperony fic. Please read and review, it really helps to get your comments- honest!
NOTE: This chapter is rated M*
Chapter 3: The Confession
"Pepper, I'm dying," he confessed under shaky breath.
He explained everything in detail. This was worse than anything she could have imagined him telling her. She knew he could die every single day he put on the suit- but to know he was actually in the process of dying was even worse. There was a death sentence he was living out every second he sat calmly on the couch beside her. And there was nothing either of them could do about it. It was just this inevitable darkness that they knew waited for him. She was devastated. This thing that had saved him, that had changed him for the better, was actually killing him. She felt angry at the world for the irony of it. The arc had given him a new life and now it was taking it back from him.
She didn't know what to say, on the verge of hopelessness she finally spoke up "Tony, I always take care of you, I would do anything to take care of you now-but I can't take care of…this. I don't know how to fix this."
And then she started to cry. She felt guilty that he was busy consoling her when he was the one who was facing death but she couldn't help it, she couldn't be the professional, proper one in this moment. He was holding her tightly in his arms, letting her cry as he consoled her; he stroked her back and kissed the top of her head while he wondered how many times he had made her cry before without knowing it.
He was hurting her with this confession. But it was strangely cathartic to him to know that someone cared about him enough to be this upset.
After a few minutes she finally calmed down a little bit, enough to pull away from him and wipe her nose on her sleeve. Then she asked Tony if she could see it. Tony wasn't expecting this request, she said needed to see this thing that was killing him, she needed to see what it was doing to him.
He swallowed hard. No one had seen it. He felt grotesque and didn't want her to remember him that way. He was usually pretty confident in his appearance, but not now. He could see in her eyes that she was desperate to reconcile in her head what was happening to him, and he couldn't seem to deny her now that she was bearing the weight of this truth with him.
She reached over and grasped the bottom of his shirt, she hesitated and looked at him for reassurance. He lifted his arms over his head in consent and she slowly pulled his shirt up his torso, over his head and off. She made no reaction to what she saw, she didn't want to upset him, but tears flowed freely down her cheeks as she examined him and took in the angry puzzle-like veins that rambled across his chest.
She still had hope that his death sentence could be reversed, but the simple existence of it now seemed to remove all barriers for her. It was like there were no consequences, no concerns because they actually didn't know what tomorrow would bring. And all she wanted to do was be close to him, to seek comfort in him and give it in return, to express the love and affection she had for him but was afraid to show.
She reached out and gently traced the marks with the pads of her fingers before looking back to his eyes. The sadness from earlier in the day had returned to his eyes- mixed with a little something else. He may be a dying man, be he was still a man. And a gorgeous woman who he loved and longed for was gently touching his chest and the skin-to-skin contact overwhelmed him.
He didn't know what this was, he didn't want to react and frighten her away but he was having a hard time sitting still. It was then that she bent over and began to place gentle kisses around his chest, it was sweet and it felt so loving and intimate but he had a hard time letting her examine the marks up close. She felt him tense under her lips.
"Tony is this okay?"
He nodded just a little and she continued cautiously. She poured as much love and affection as she could into each soft kiss, hoping to ease his pain.
When she was done she sat up and angled his chin to look her in the eyes. She looked at him long and hard, trying to read his expression before she leaned to kiss him-but before their lips could make contact he pulled away to look at her again.
He cupped her jaw and spoke "Pepper, I want this. I really do. I want this more than I have ever wanted anything, but please, please tell me this isn't about pity or consoling me. I don't want it like that."
"Tony it's not that. I care about you too much to do that to you. I promise. I just want to be close to you right now, is that a good enough reason?"
He leaned forward and closed the distance between them. His lips landed on hers and he coaxed them open as he scooted her into his lap, one leg on each side of his hip. After weeks of sadness and anger, fear and pain, it was like she was breathing air into his lungs and giving him just a little more life to cling to.
They stayed together like that for a long time, just kissing and lightly caressing whatever skin they could find. They were finally giving in to the closeness they had been denying themselves. Intense arousal was building slowly, but they were soon becoming desperate for more contact. She ground her sex down onto him, feeling his hardness as he pulled her shirt up and over her head. He wasted no time undoing her bra and tossing it behind the couch. He latched on to her neck and slowly kissed down to her breast and she gasped as he sucked her. His free hand was anchored to her butt, encouraging the rhythm of her grinding in his lap.
After a few minutes she pulled away from him and began kissing down his chest again, softly kissing every mark that she swore was killing her as much as it was him in that moment. When she reached his pants she unfastened them as he lifted his hips to assist her, she stroked him firmly and he watched her with rapt attention, barely breathing. She stood and shimmied her jeans and panties down her legs before he reached out his hand to her. She took it in hers as he pulled her back to him and laid her down and on the couch. It was his turn to kiss and nip at her skin and he was grateful for every healthy freckle he encountered.
He lowered his head and tasted her, he steadied her hips and she undulated against his hungry mouth while panting his name as he lapped at her wetness. Tony was incredibly hard, he ground into the couch cushions to seek some relief as he was tasting her but he didn't want to touch himself or this was all going go be over way too fast. Lucky for him it had been a long time since she had sex and it wasn't going to take much to make her reach orgasm. When his fingers joined the mix and carefully thrust into her in perfect concert with his tongue on her clit, she lost it. She quaked into his mouth and griped a fistful of his hair until the assault finally relented.
He backed away and leaned forward to give her a deep, desperate kiss. She had never tasted herself before and it was a little erotic to have the taste flood her mouth. She could smell her own scent on his goatee as he continued to suck and nip on her bottom lip.
It wasn't long before he pulled back and looked at her for permission to proceed-which she practically begged for, "please Tony, please. I need you inside of me. Please now."
He rolled on a condom, he was concerned about the extent of his toxicity, before he situated himself between her legs and guided himself into her without much hesitation. When they were finally united Tony almost lost his breath, he was overwhelmed. She was so hot and so tight and so beautiful below him. A gentle blush had crept up her chest to her neck and her cheeks and her puckered nipples rubbed against his chest with every deep stroke against her. He had never taken his time like this. It was a combination of disbelief that he was actually with her, and wanting to savor every second in case it never happened again. He maintained eye contact, they both wanted the connection, except when a particular thrust made their eyes flutter closed briefly.
Pepper grabbed hold of his butt and directed him just how fast and hard she wanted him, letting him know when she wanted him to hold still and simply grind against her in the right spot to make her groan. Despite this being their first time Tony could read her really well, he could tell she was getting close. It was fairly clear, as she was completely breathless and having trouble maintaining eye contact.
His left hand was laced with hers on the cushion above her head, but he was angled just right to support himself on that hand and his legs so he could move his free hand down and caress her hard clit and provide her some relief. It was almost immediately that he felt her clench around him and throw her head back, she arched her chest to the ceiling and curled her toes-pulling his orgasm from him as well.
Afterward they lay together, sweaty and panting. He was still embedded inside her but it was turnabout from earlier in the evening when this had all started. This was her chance to cradle and comfort him instead. His head was on her chest, her long legs enveloped his waist while her hands rubbed his back and the back of his head soothingly.
He was finally able to let go and he began to softly cry in her arms as she continued to cradle him and stroke his back. She whispered words of encouragement and let him know it was okay, fighting back tears of her own.
