Yours is the first face that I saw
I think I was blind before I met you
Now I don't know where I am
I don't know where I've been
But I know where I want to go
by Bright Eyes
Time passed quickly once Ellie started working with Carlisle at the regional hospital. Every day, she still woke up with the sense of dread that she still couldn't pinpoint whether it had to do with Edward (supposedly) coming home at any moment, the loneliness that had grappled her at the docks weeks ago, or whether it was just a natural reaction to waking up, day after day, to another gray day.
She seemed to have found her calling here—for whatever reason, the patients loved her at the hospital. She wondered if there was a similarity between the patients and the animals in the woods, but was hesitant to voice that opinion aloud. Maybe she would offend someone by suggesting the humans and animals were close to the same? Carlisle, at the very least, would be quick to point out the difference.
Another plus of working at the hospital was the bonding time it gave her with her father. It was amazing to watch him in action—his devotion to his job and his patients was awe-inspiring. Ellie was also impressed by his incredible will power. The first time she had seen a patient bleeding in front of him, she had been nervous, but Carlisle didn't even hold his breath. He called it mind over matter, but in Ellie's opinion, it was nothing short of a miracle. Luckily, the nurse she had been working with chalked her overreaction up to her being squeamish.
"So how do you like it here so far, sweetheart?" Carlisle asked her one day. The pair had taken to spending the lunch hour in Carlisle's office, pretending to be sharing lunch.
"It's amazing," Ellie answered after a long moment of consideration. "The patients here are so fragile and so breakable. On one hand, it makes me feel so different from them, but on the other it makes me feel like they absolutely need me here. I guess it's nice feeling needed."
"Yes, I agree," Carlisle chuckled. "It's humbling to realize how our special… gifts, I suppose you could call them, are truly special." Carlisle grew pensive. "For me, at the very least, I feel as though this makes up for what I've done. Saving a life for the lives I've taken makes me feel less of a monster, I suppose." Ellie stared at her father figure. There were several adjectives and metaphors she could use to describe him, but monster was nowhere near close. Did he really think of himself as that? Deity, angel, miracle worker were closer to what he really was. And the four lives he supposedly took were already on their way out—and all four of them would have died within minutes if he hadn't saved them.
"Carlisle, I don't think anyone views what you've done as taking a life. You saved them."
Carlisle looked at her with a funny smile. "And the lives they've taken?"
This stopped Ellie. She was thinking of Edward, out wherever he was, killing whoever he was. Instantly, she adopted the blank, detached mask she took on whenever he came up. There was a long pause.
"I think you're viewing this the wrong way," she said softly, ignoring the pain in the pit of her stomach. "You've saved us all from whatever mundane lives we were living before. We are all infinitely better off having known you. If you weren't the exact way you are now and hadn't made the exact same decisions you have, I know my life would be significantly more miserable."
Carlisle smiled at her. He reached out for her hand and rubbed it between his icy cement ones. She shivered, but smiled nonetheless at the display of affection.
Suddenly the door was thrown open, and a small boy, around three or four, Ellie guessed, came running in, shrieking with joy. Both Ellie and Carlisle laughed as he made a few laps around the office before running headlong into Ellie's knees. In one motion, Ellie scooped him up as he giggled. The sound resonated deep inside her—she guessed it had just been a long time since she had been around a child.
"Now where do you belong?" Ellie couldn't help smiling at his round, happy face. He had a big piece of rock candy in his hand, which Ellie presupposed was the reason behind his rambunctiousness. His entire mouth was lined in red stickiness. The little boy pointed at the door, and Ellie guessed someone was missing him in the lobby. She made to head out, before sharing a warm look with Carlisle.
As she turned around, she ran into someone enormous standing right outside the doorway.
"Shit," the man mumbled, running his hands through his silky black hair and taking a step back. Ellie stood speechless, face-to-face with the man she had stared at weeks ago on the dock. She blushed bright red as recognition dawned on his face, and glanced down at her feet.
Carlisle, being the ever-graceful Dr. Cullen, maneuvered around the pair on his way back to make rounds. Ellie didn't miss the grin on his face.
"There you are, Isaiah. I was just looking for you." The man reached out for the little boy, and Ellie fluidly handed him over, careful not to make any kind of contact with the man. He was at least a head taller than her, and she was even wearing heels today, courtesy of Rosalie. He still had that curious, one-dimpled smile. They stared at each other for a long moment before she turned around to where the nurse in charge of her was waiting for her at the end of the hallway.
"Eleanor, there's a casting and stitches that need done. Room three; tell Anita that you're taking over."
When she turned back around, the mysterious man was gone. Ellie got the paperwork and the plaster from the nurse's station, before turning and walking to room three. She was in a daze over the encounter, and was kicking herself. She had so many questions for him, and all she could do was stand there, staring at him stupidly.
"Well, luckily, you just got a little scratched up. Your forearm is a clean fracture, which means it will heal quickly. You'll still need to wear a cast for a few weeks, and you'll need a few stitches over your eye." Ellie heard Carlisle's soothing "patient voice" billowing out of room three.
The man from the docks was sitting in the corner of room three, taking up the majority of the free space. Isaiah, the little boy from before, was climbing the man like he was a tree. The patient in question was a seven year old boy, who was sitting on the examining table looking slightly guilty. Carlisle was filling out paperwork. The man from the docks had been watching Carlisle with his brows slightly furrowed until Ellie walked in.
"Ellie, perfect timing," Carlisle said, smiling broadly as he began deftly setting the plaster around the boy's arm. "This is Joshua. He was trying to fly when he fell out of a tree and broke his right arm. As you can see, he also needs stitches above his left eye." Carlisle then went into the more medical explanation, and Ellie tried as hard as she could to pay attention. She was all too aware of the man staring at her, and it was hard to concentrate with her heart pounding in her ears. Was it her, or was it really warm in the small room?
"Why don't you finish the cast while I do the stitches?" Carlisle suggested. Ellie guessed he heard her heart racing, based on the curious expression he was giving her.
In moments, they were done, and Carlisle left Ellie to sign them out. As soon as they were alone, the man wasted no time.
"You were on the docks a few weeks ago, weren't you?"
Ellie gulped, and started to get angry at herself for her reaction to this man. She tried to concentrate on finishing Carlisle's paperwork so they could leave and she could be left in peace once more.
"Uh, yes."
"Was that your family?"
"Yes, I'm Dr. Cullen's sister-in-law." Ellie winced as the words came out like an excessively rehearsed line in a bad play. She blushed again, but couldn't tell if it was from embarrassment or because the room's heater seemed to be on the fritz.
"So, Joshua," she continued, addressing the boy. "You're going to have to keep this cast dry for the next six weeks. Come in for a checkup, and then we'll see if you can take the cast off." The boy was nodding. "And no more flying, okay?" She smiled weakly at him before shoving the paperwork toward the man.
She watched from a safe distance as they said goodbye to Carlisle and then walked out to their truck in the pouring rain. The man took off his jacket and wrapped it around the older boy, being sure to cover the cast. She looked down at the crinkled carbon copy of the boy's forms in her hand after they disappeared from her line of sight, searching for a name. Noah Black. Noah, like the ark. She smiled to herself at the irony of having a name like that in a place this rainy.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The days continued to pass, and soon enough, it was summer. Not that the weather seemed to notice—it still rained almost daily, and it was only slightly warmer. In addition to waking up with that deadening feeling every day, Ellie now had vivid dreams to go along with it. They all involved her silver wolf to some extent, and the dreams were almost always the same. She was running as fast as she could to catch up with the wolf, who just turned around and smiled a familiar one-dimpled grin. Then the wolf turned into Edward, who disappeared as soon as she got close to him. That's when she would wake up, short of breath with a suffocating sense of loneliness, and would be unable to go to sleep until she heard one of her family members in the house. She kept these nightmares a secret.
One Saturday, she, Rosalie, and Emmett decided to head back up to Port Angeles for the morning. Rosalie had some dresses made that she wanted to pick up, and Ellie had found a bookstore there that she wanted to explore more thoroughly, without the distraction of her family there to hurry her along. Rose and Emmett had dropped her off with the promise of picking her up at noon.
By the time she realized how long she had been in the bookstore, it was well past noon. She cursed her luck as she exited the store into complete sunshine and a crowded main street. Apparently a few hours was all the sky needed to immediately clear out for the first time in the few months she had moved here. She stared helplessly up and down the street, realizing she had no way of getting home until sundown. She could probably kill time in a diner or something, but then remembered she didn't eat. Frowning, she started walking in the direction of home. Maybe once she got into the cover of the forest, Rose or someone could pick her up. Then again, how would they know where she was?
That was when she saw Noah across the street, who looked just as distracted as she did. It surprised her that he wasn't wearing his signature smirk. Apparently he caught sight of her, too.
"Hey! Hey—Ellie, was it? Wait up!" He smiled a heart-stopping smile, holding his hands up in surrender as he approached.
"What do you want?" She hadn't meant that to sound mean, but he frowned slightly at her response.
"Well, I wanted to thank you for taking care of my nephew—he's as good as new now." If the rest of her family's voices were like bells, his was like the roar of an engine. It was a deep, guttural sound, exactly the opposite, but just as magical. Ellie blushed a deep red and looked at her feet.
"Oh. You're welcome." She frowned slightly as she looked up at him. Was that really all he wanted?
At this, he broke into a wide grin. "I thought we should get off to a better start. I'm Noah Black." He stuck out his hand. It was more of a paw, really.
"Eleanor Cullen." When they shook, she tried to seem professional, but her hand all but disappeared into his as a little kid's would.
"Nice to meet you, Eleanor Cullen. So you're part of the new doctor's family?" They had started walking slowly down the sidewalk together.
"Yes, yes I am."
"I like him, he's seems like a good guy. You said you were his sister-in-law?"
"Yes. He and his wife, my sister, took my twin brother and I in after our parents died." She was thinking on her feet, and all she could do was recite their Rochester story. She hoped it didn't come out as fake as it sounded to her.
"I'm sorry to hear that." Ellie nodded wordlessly, trying not to notice the pain it caused her to mention her brother. "So a twin, huh? I always wanted one of those. Instead I just get a pain-in-the-ass older brother."
"Older brothers can be that, on occasion," she said, smiling as she thought of Emmett.
"Whoa, there. That smile could put the sun out of business. And the sun is actually out in full force today, too, for once. Show some respect!" She laughed at this, and he smiled in response. "Great, now you're going to shame it away, and it's never going to come out again. Not that it does too often any way." There was an amicable pause as they ambled down the sidewalk together.
"Say, what are you doing right now?"
"Right now? I'm walking home."
"Well, have you ever been to First Beach?"
"Is that on the reservation? No, I haven't--"
"Great!" he interrupted enthusiastically, and began walking backwards, facing her. "There's a place I always like to go to when the sun's out and I don't have anything to do. You've never seen anything like it, I bet. Trust me, it's amazing."
"Oh, no; thank you, really, but I should be getting home…"
"Shh." He actually put one large, warm finger across her lips, shushing her. His sudden closeness made her heart skip a beat. "Trust me," he repeated, softly this time. "'Sides, I won't make you walk home. C'mon."
Noah smiled his knee-buckling smile at her, and grabbed her hand. Even if she had wanted to resist, she wouldn't have been able to bring herself to do it. The combination of his charming smile and strong, warm hand could have moved a mountain, and she trailed behind him in a daze as he led her to his beat-up truck.
