Looking at you makes it harder
But, I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you wanna cry
Monday, March 23, 1987
Lee paced a small path in his boss' carpet. He wasn't back in the States for even a few hours and he was already feeling the tension. Billy Melrose's voice boomed, startling him from his thoughts.
"What happened, Man? Things seemed to be going so well between the two of you and then one night you call me at home and tell me you need to get out of Washington immediately to chase down some obscure lead."
"Bil-ly!" He tugged his hand through his hair and started to pace the room. "It wasn't obscure and you know it. They threatened –"
"There are always threats, Man! You were desperate, Lee. I could hear it through the phone. Did she want you to get too serious? Is that it?"
"No!" He mumbled under his breath. "Can't you just drop it?" He said through gritted teeth.
"I really thought you were finally going to allow yourself to fall in love this time. But I guess she's just another one along the way, huh?" The look of disappointment was evident on Billy's face.
"What? No, Billy. Noooo!" He sighed and fell into one of the chairs in front of his supervisor's desk defeated. How could he explain it so that the older man would understand?
"Well, you begged me to leave; up until then you had been adamantly turning down any assignments that would take you out of the country." The stout man came around and perched on the edge of his desk directly in front of Lee. The concern was unmistakable in the deep crease in his brow. "Don't you miss her at all, Son?"
"Only when I breathe." He whispered mostly to himself and then looked up sadly.
Billy shook his head as if he was trying to make sense of it all. "I don't under–"
"The threats were real, Billy! Birol's team wasn't going to stop until they made me pay for the capture of their leader. And you know exactly how they were planning to do just that!"
"We could have sent someone else in. You should have stayed with her." Billy scolded.
"How is she? Have you heard from her since she left? Is she okay?" He rushed, hoping his supervisor had kept tabs on her. She always had a way of attracting trouble. He looked up when his supervisor didn't speak and saw the confusion in the older man's face.
"Left? She didn't leave the Agency, Lee."
"She didn't?" He was certain that she'd leave if he were out of the picture. "Please tell me you don't have her out in the field, Billy!"
The older man just nodded his head and shrugged.
SMKSMKSMKSMKSMKSMKSMKSMK
Moments later . . .
Lee silently observed her typing furiously on the keyboard in front of her. She hadn't even stopped when he opened the door. He took advantage of the fact that she was in deep concentration and watched her from the door for a moment. Her hair was swept up in a messy ponytail, with small wisps teasing the back of her neck. He wanted nothing more than to kiss that neck and the woman it belonged to. He was startled from his musings when she spoke.
"I think you're right, we should recheck the staff list again just to be sure," she replied absently, never taking her eyes off the screen in front of her.
"Amanda." Before he even got her name completely out of his mouth, her hands stopped mid-stroke. She raised her head from the monitor in front of her and she stared straight ahead, never looking back at him.
Lee waited for her to turn around but she didn't move a muscle. He wasn't even sure if she was breathing. "Can we talk?" When she made no attempt at acknowledging his presence, he walked further into the room and sat in the chair that was positioned in front of her desk. He sat watching her as she stared right past him. She never blinked. "Aman—"
"What do you want, Scarecrow?" Her voice was flat and emotionless.
"Can we talk?"
"We have nothing to discuss." She returned to her typing, hitting the keys much harder than she had previously.
"Please, Amanda. I know you're angry with me. You have every right to be. But, I need –"
"You need?" She snorted and shook her head in disgust. "Look, you take . . ." flustered, she yanked the bottom desk drawer open and pulled out a small, velvet black box. She placed it on top of the files at the edge of her desk and then slammed the drawer closed. Picking the box back up, she threw it at him. "Take it and get out."
"No," he shook his head vehemently while holding it out to her to take back. "No, it's yours, Amanda."
"Not anymore, Scarecrow. Not for, oh, let's see how long have you been gone?" Her eyes were like steel and pierced his heart. She pushed her chair away from her desk and stood before moving toward the door. Once she jerked the door open she indicated that he should go.
He stood and walked purposely to the door, reached above her head and closed the door before standing in front of it, essentially blocking her from either opening it again to force him out or escaping from it herself.
"Please move." She reached for the handle, but he blocked her.
He felt his jaw tense when he could feel and smell her as she attempted to reach around him. "We need to talk," he spoke with a gravely voice.
"Oh! We need to talk? Funny, I would have liked to have done that about . . . oh, four months ago when you decided to slip out of the country. So you'll have to excuse me when I say go to Hell!" The sarcasm nearly dripped from her.
"Amanda, why didn't you leave the Agency? It's not safe for you to be –" He was cut off by the rattling of the door knob on the other side, followed by an insistent knocking.
"Amanda? The door's jammed again. Can you let me in?" Came the disembodied voice from the hall. To Lee's ears the voice sounded like it belonged to a twelve-year old boy.
She looked at Lee expectantly. When he made no attempt to move, she tried to shove him out of the way. "He's got a key, Scarecrow. Now move!" She whispered harshly.
"Why would he have a key to our office?" He growled back.
"First of all, it's not 'our' office anymore. There is no more 'our,' don't you remember? And secondly, it's my office. Mine and my partner's."
'Partner?' Suddenly dizzy, Lee stumbled back when she attempted to push him aside to open the door again, this time more aggressively.
Lee watched the much younger man rush into the room, wielding his gun as soon as Amanda had unlocked and opened the door. 'Rookie!' Lee grunted.
The dark-haired man appeared to take in the room quickly before settling his eyes on Amanda. His hands taking hold of her upper arms.
"Amanda, what happened? I heard yelling as I approached and then I couldn't open the door. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, Willie." Amanda answered as she glanced sideways to Lee. "The door must have been jammed."
'Willie? You've got to be kidding me!' Lee thought as he watched the exchange.
"Uh, hello. I don't believe we've met." The young agent stood straighter and held out his hand to Lee. Lee took a moment to sum up his replacement. The man stood about six feet tall with dark, almost black hair that was kept quite short, almost that of an Air Force cadet. When Lee shook his hand, he squeezed it tighter than necessary and was surprised when the man-child returned it ten-fold. "Willie Matthews, Amanda's partner."
"Lee Stetson. And I'm afraid you're mistaken, Willie. Amanda is MY partner."
"I believe you're the one who is mistaken, Mr. Stetson. Mr. Melrose partnered Amanda and I together several months ago." He smiled brightly, as if challenging Lee to argue with him.
"Oh, Mr. Melrose did, did he? We'll see about that, Willie." Lee spewed through gritted teeth.
"Okay, Fellas. That's enough. Scarecrow, please excuse us. We have work to do." She indicated the open door. "You know your way out."
He knew that tone in Amanda's voice. It was the 'don't mess with me, Stetson' tone that he hadn't heard in a long time; so long that he almost missed it. Almost. He stared down the man in front of him before he felt her pushing him from behind to guide him out the door. He grabbed the door jamb before she could shut the door on him. "We're not done with this conversation, Amanda."
"Oh, I'd say we are. Goodbye," she retorted.
Before he had a chance to argue, the door was slammed in his face and he heard the distinct click of the lock being put in place. He stared blankly at it, disbelieving what had just occurred.
