"You okay?" I asked approaching the room that Soda was in.
"Besides having a huge headache?" Soda asked. "Where are Steve and Curley?"
"Curley took off, didn't want to talk to the police. Steve is outside smoking. What happened Sodapop?"
"I have no clue. I did everything the guy asked. Then BOOM!" He clapped his hands together and winced. I felt like I got hit in the head with a pile of bricks, and everything went black." Soda fiddled with the frays off his shirts. "He held his gun right where he hit. For a second I thought I was going to die. Guess I'm lucky I just got pistol whipped."
There was a certain eerie tone to Soda's voice. He was a lot more shaken up over this than he lead on. He was okay thou. He had a headache and a huge stitches. Tomorrow this would be a memory. For me this would be etched in my brain.
Waking him up every hour on the hour was the doctor's instructions. I was happy I didn't have to work in the morning, because in order for me to wake up, I had to stay awake. I threw the last of my coffee in the filter.
"I can take over if you want?" Pony offered. He had fallen asleep in the couch around two thirty.
"Nah. I probably wouldn't sleep much anyways." I turned around to look at my youngest brother. "I thought you were out cold. Did I wake you up?"
He was pacing around the kitchen. "No, my legs keep like cramping or something he said. The only way I can get it to stop is to walk around. It's been happening for a few weeks." He started kicking his legs into the air. "Not to mention, I'm starving."
"You've got growing pains." I snickered when he shot me a look that pretty much said I was a moron. "I'm serious. I had them too for a while. Then I woke up one day my feet were huge."
Pony stopped kicking the air and stared down at his feet. "That's wonderful to know."
"Want a grilled cheese?" I asked taking out the butter and cheese.
"Sure." He plopped down still staring at his feet. "That won't hurt my track season will it?"
"Do you remember that summer Soda broke four bones?" I asked but I didn't wait until he answered. "He was in a growth spurt then."
I glanced over at him as I threw a sandwich on a skillet. He was still starring at his feet. I immediately regretted saying anything like that. He started hitting puberty a short while ago. Lucky for him he was just grew a few inches. He started to take notice to girls, but for right football and school is what he lived and breathed for. I put a plate and his food in front of him and then rubbed the top of his hair. For now he wasn't awkward.
"I can't afford for to break anything." Pony finally said.
"Kid, you're doing just fine. You're a lot more graceful on your feet than Soda or I. You're just becoming a man." Even I cringed at that phrase. God, I was awful with words. I wished more than ever that Sunny were here. He was a lot better with words and explaining stuff. It was getting close to having to have that infamous talk with Pony.
Ponyboy just shook his head at me. "Think I should lift weights. You and Sunny put that weight bench up in the garage."
"No, don't even go near that. Not until you voice changes it will stunt your growth plate." I warned.
"How?" Pony asked.
"I don't know. It just does." I answered honestly.
"What do you want out of this?" Tom asked after fifteen minutes of silence. He shifted around in his leather chair. The chair made a strange sound underneath it; kind of almost like it was the dead animal it once was.
"I want to go home and live semi normally." I answered. I hated this talk therapy crap. I didn't trust strangers. I'd go to group therapy, anger classes and even the alcoholic classes. I'd draw all that they wanted me too and write. However sitting in an office while an abnormally fat man tried to make some explanation of my feelings. I had been at this place for two weeks. The first week was the detoxify week. I threw up constantly, and my entire body shook violently. I wasn't allowed to smoke that week, my entire body hurt. My head still hurt daily, but my hands stopped shaking.
"Are you ready to talk about the war?" He asked.
I shook my head. "No." I wasn't sure if I was ever going to be ready to talk about that part of my life.
"You understand that just because you ignore it verbally, doesn't mean it can be ignored mentally. Why don't you write about it; when you are ready we can read it."
I nodded in agreement. "So what do we talk about now?" I asked.
He looked down at his papers. "We talked about your family in California. How about your brothers?"
"They are chaotic. The youngest two can literally drive a person to a heat attack." I stopped. I felt my lips curve into a smile for the first time in two weeks. "They are amazing and inspirational."
"When you say home; do you mean Tulsa?"
"Yeah. I can't go home. They don't deserve to have to deal with my problems. They already had too." I eyed the tissues on his desk. At some point here you cry. I wasn't there yet.
"That's the part of raising children, especially those like your brothers. Problems like the ones you have reflect on those of your brothers. See children grow up to be like the people that raised them. Well in many cases." Tom was the psychologist or psychiatrist or what ever the correct name was. To me he was an over weight man with beady eyes who pried into my life. I hated talking to strangers especially about feelings.
"I'm well aware of the nature versus nurture argument." I said sitting back into my chair. I could tell this was going to be one of the longest hours in my life.
I was standing at the lockers after gym class. My towel was wrapped around my waist. I hated this part of the day. I hated that I had to change in front of people. Usually, I did my hair and by the time everyone was finished changing and out is when I were only two greasers in my gym class me and Nick. Nick is boarder line hood, he was like a mild version of Dallas Winston. He was always in an out of trouble with the police. He came into art class stoned everyday, but he had tried every drug in the book. This was the socs time to gang up on me. I started putting grease on my hair.
"I'm surprised your football helmet stays on with all the grease." Jackson wanted my position on the team. He was second string. It was supposed to have my spot, but I could out run him any day of the weak.
Jackson wasn't staring at me, but I was looking through mirror, and I saw him and five others in a circle. I caught Nick's gaze, he moved his hand, and I saw his blade on him.
"I'm surprised you can even fit your fat in head in yours." I mumbled.
"Watch it grease." A different soc walked close to me. "I hear you and water don't get along very well." He was friends with one of the guys who tried to drown me the night Johnny killed Bob. "Don't worry grease. I'll make sure you get your hair washed real good before you go to hell for murder."
I threw extra grease in my hair, and turned to face him. He was bigger than me and I had to admit; I was afraid of him but I couldn't show that.
"Hurry it up." Coach Carter threw open the door. "Ya'll aren't a bunch of ladies so do your business and go to class. Curtis quit fixing your hair, and put your clothes on."
When I was lying in bed that night I wished that Soda and I still shared a bed. The socs threats were a normal thing but they were slowly getting worse. I knew how Johnny felt now, and it wasn't a pleasant feeling. Darry had rearranged our furniture after the rock came through the window. I couldn't even concentrate on Soda snoring. Those threats were echoing in my head. I couldn't believe that Johnny had the guts to sleep outside by himself on these days. I wasn't sure when I fell asleep, but the next thing I knew I had just came out of my dream world.
"Whoa, easy Pony." Soda said. I nearly bucked him in the head when I sat up in my bed.
"Turn the lights on." I said. I could feel the tears on my cheeks already.
The lights came on but it was Darry because Soda hadn't moved from my bed. "What happened?"
"One of those dreams." Soda explained. "Well I think. What happened Pony?"
I brushed him off when he went to hug me. I wasn't ready to deal with these dreams again. I didn't want too loose sleep. I was overwhelmed.
"It's okay." Soda said. He tried to put a hand on my shoulder.
"Don't touch me." I snapped at him. I didn't mean to do that. I pulled my knees up and buried my face in them. I hated this. I felt like a little kid.
"You have to tell us what you want." Soda said.
"Give him some air, little buddy." Darry said. "Go get him some water."
"Ponyboy draw your breath in and count to ten." Darry ordered. "Don't it Pony."
I did what he told me. It didn't fully work but it calmed me down enough. Soda handed me the class of water.
"What happened?" He asked.
I just shrugged. Soda sat next to me and threw his arm around me. "Well it's over now."
The past few days had nearly gave me a heart attack. I hadn't even slept yet. First the rock incident that kept me up. Next came Soda getting robbed at work. Then Pony got suspended for two days. He had gotten into a fist fight with some soc. Suspension meant he couldn't play this week. This past month's events had built up one heated visit from the state. They checked my house up and down. Of course it wasn't clean. They then questioned my brothers. It didn't help that Sunny was "visiting" relatives, and I didn't have the number to get a hold of him. The worst is they questioned each one of my brothers until they were crying. It was like they needed to co horse them into admitting something. I stirred the pot of mushroom soup.
"It's ready?" I said to Maria. She was sitting on the couch with her head between her legs. That was the other thing; my girlfriend was puking her guts up for the past couple of days.
"Maybe you should see a doctor." I said sitting next to her with a bowl of soup.
She pinched her nose. "Darry, I can't take that smell right now." Maria she turned away from my soup like it was the plague in a bowl.
"Have you drank anything?" I asked.
"Yeah. I'm sorry." She said. "You look horrible."
"Thanks." I mumbled. Nothing like hearing that come out of your girlfriends mouth.
She put a tan hand on my knee. "You know what I meant. I feel bad it's all about me. You just had a bad day or days."
"I'm just tired, and I don't get why it's my family that has to go through hell." I rubbed my face.
"Do you miss Sunny?"
I twiddled with my thumbs. "Yes, because we could be at your place right now. I wouldn't be babysitting Ponyboy, while Soda is at a show."
Maria started tying her hair up."I don't mind being here. I just feel bad you have to see me like this. That isn't the reason you miss Sunny."
She had her way of just pulling things out of me. "I don't want to deal with this alone." I said.
