The Secrets We Hide

We struggle to have meaning
In this world which we all know
We try but yet we wonder
Where we all should go
Hidden in the questions
Which we can not find
The answers are all hidden
Deep inside our minds
Hidden in our soul
Is the life we try to hide
But in time it will find you
And it will release
All of its secrets hidden beneath
So before it ruins the life you have made
Release those dark secrets
And the memories will fade
Hidden in our lives are stories left untold
Of the things we didn't want them to know
But once you tell somebody
And make your feelings known
The struggle will be over
And you'll finally be home

- Tiffany Franklin

Chapter Three:


Kazuo Kiriyama had murdered someone last night and I witnessed it. What was worse even, was that he knew I witnessed it.

I lay shivering in my bed all night, not getting a wink of sleep and fighting a fever that had ascended way over the 38ÂșC mark. I had several hallucinations that night and all of them included him. He never moved from the spot by the wall but in each hallucination he wielded various knives. Turning knives, boning knives, pairing knives and he even presented a huge, rusting cleaver at one point. Then there was that horrible silver switchblade that was still stained with that boys blood. I didn't feel afraid though, I wanted him to move from his position against the wall and come closer. I wanted to utter my feelings to him, to ask him why he killed that boy and if he regrets it. To ask if he believed in any form of a divine presence and to beg for forgiveness from God. To at the very least show some kind of remorse.

His face was beautifully stoic, creamy and unaffected by the events that had played out. He was of transcendental beauty and radiated a wispy white aura that coated and outlined his form making him appear angelic regardless of his sins.

It was when he pushed slowly away from the wall, his eyes transfixed on me did the fever finally break - rendering me a weak, pathetic, wreck on my bed. No one was in my room, just me and my labored breathing and that's when I felt the familiar pang of longing. I knew I shouldn't have longed so much for his company, especially because of who he was and what he had done, but I did.

Did that make me as bad as him? That I hadn't even thought about telling anyone about his acts of injustice. My mind was as fragile as his, warped and twisted not by what was neither right nor wrong. I no longer let morality fuel my decisions but my inner most desires were of more importance.


The next morning I fought admirably with my mother to stay off school but she refused to relent and my efforts weren't recognized at all. It was sad really, because I needed that day to think over how I would face him if he were to confront me. I was deeply afraid that he would brutalize me to teach me a lesson about sticking around. I was even more afraid he would threaten Takako in an effort to keep my mouth shut. I had no intention of telling anyone, mind you so he needn't worry really.

Upon entering the classroom I was strangely welcomed with the ordinary atmosphere. The excited buzz of chatter encouraged relief to watch over me, but I didn't allow myself to let my guard down just yet. Scanning the classroom effectively I noticed that Kazuo was not amongst his friends who were engaging in some kind of rough play. I frowned at this. Perhaps it was he who was too frightened to make an appearance in school today. Maybe he was the one who had decided to stay at home. I smiled widely at this, that meant I wouldn't have to face him but really, I should have reconsidered that thought immediately. Kazuo was not afraid of anything, least of all - me.

Leaning casually against the door frame, I began my second inspection of the class. Takako wasn't here either. I could see Shuya and his friend, Megumi and hers, Mitsuko - all of them, everyone but Takako. I swallowed thickly and wiped my sweaty palms on my skirt. I decided to ignore the feeling of nausea and conclude that I was prematurely judging. She was probably just late.

"Hey Kazuo, over here!"

My ears perked up at that horribly familiar name and I felt electric shivers run down my spine. Turning slowly around, I came face to face with Kazuo. Well, not exactly face to face as his height loomed significantly over me. He stared down at me. His face was identical to that of my hallucinations. I had foolishly thought that maybe he would come in looking tired due to the lack of sleep he had received from his excessive worrying but he looked as fresh and radiant as ever.

His black eyes looked down at me, they held a glimmer of curiosity but that was it. No murderous intent, just a faraway inquisitive stare. I glanced from his face to the floor. He leaned in slightly, resting his hand on the door frame and still staring down at me.

"Kazuo!" they called again.

The breath stifled in my throat, I had forgotten for a moment that other people were present in the class. That it wasn't just us. This suddenly reassured me that he wouldn't do anything to me in front of this many people, but the close proximity of his body to mine was far too much to take. I darted around him and hurriedly made my way down the hallway to the girls bathroom.


I spent the most part of the morning in the girls bathroom, my legs propped up so as no one could see me. Girls, came and went, the chatter was evidently something I desired to take my mind off of the latest horrific events. I thought it best to just head home or ditch the rest of the lessons. I wasn't in the focusing mood today, and I was sure that for some horrible reason Takako hadn't turned up either.

My parents were workaholics thankfully. Which resigned me to being able to enjoy the peace my small house provided. I needed to think things over, and decide what the best approach would be. Nausea kept bubbling away in my stomach and refused to relent until I picked up my phone and dialed Takako's number. I just needed to know she was OK - that Kazuo hadn't done anything to her.

She answered on the third ring, sniffing indecently in to the phone.

"Hello?"

"Takako? Hey, it's me, uh, Evie. Is everything ok?" I asked. I wanted to sound casual, not like I was giving anything away. Not like I had witnessed a murder or anything.

"Oh Evie, hey. I'm sorry, I'm not really up to talking right now."

I felt a pang of reject and disappointment pierce through me. What did she mean she didn't feel up to talking. What was wrong? I should have been the one who didn't feel up to talking.

"Are you sick?" I asked.

"No, no. I'm just - Did you read the newspaper this morning?"

"No." I replied, I could feel that horrible nausea returning again and a heavy sinking feeling in my heart.

"My cousin was murdered last night." she stated her voice cracking. I half expected her to burst out crying, but knew that this was far from her hardened interior.

I felt dread gnaw at my nerves now. I knew immediately that the boy she was talking about what the boy that I had seen last night, guilt whirled around in my stomach.

"Wh..what happened?" I asked. Of course I already knew what happened, but I had to make it appear as if I didn't.

"He was beaten up and then stabbed to death." she replied. "I.. We were very close. He never approved of my school or choices, but we were still very close."

"What was his name?" I asked, my voice was barely audible. I'm surprised she could have heard me.

"His name was Aiko."


A/N: Bit of a short chapter. Hope you enjoyed none-the-less though.