At it again, folks. I dunno know if it's just me but, I think Rie Tanaka would be a great character voice for Sanae (if Touhou ends up with an anime adaptation). Ya know, she has that sultry big sister kind of voice. Ah well.
TOUHOU PROJECT
2 And A Half Gods
CHAPTER TWO
The Great Upset
"Ah. Most interesting," the mistress of the Scarlet Devil Manor scrutinized. The mistress was a renowned individual in Gensokyou. She hails from Europe, more than likely from the eastern part of the continent. "Sa-ku-ya, I vill allow the girl to be our guest for dinner tonight."
The Perfect Maid was surely a bit surprised by her mistress' decision. "Milady, are you sure about this? Can we trust this woman?"
"Vat? Are you kidding me?" The mistress replied to her subordinate with a growing grin on her child-like face. "Goodness, Sa-ku-ya, be vise of what fate brings to us. The infamous Scarlet Devil Mansion has a woman from the very depths of hell as tonight's guest. She is most appropriate for being a guest tonight. How astonishing is that?"
Sakuya nodded, "I agree, Milady. However, considering she's from hell, wouldn't you think that our guest would be more... you know, terrifying?"
The Lady of the manor delivered a frown to her ever loyal maid. "Sa-ku-ya, take a look at me." The silver haired servant did so. "I am Remilia Scarlet, reputedly known as the Scarlet Devil. I may be a force of living nightmares, but do I look pure evil to you? Or a devil for that matter?"
Sakuya suppressed a grin. Damn that little vampire was adorable! "Unfortunately, I haven't an answer for that, Milady. I cannot say for certain."
The vampire pouted. "Tch. Very vell. I'll be down in the dining room shortly." Short, charismatic, adorable, and (oddly) at the same time, menacing, Remilia flashed a fang in delight. With Koishi being tonight's guest, Remilia may very well be a devil. Standing at a miniature four feet eleven inches in height, her appearance is nothing to be trifled with. Because of her misleading appearance, it was often a fatal mistake for those that are foolish enough to underestimate her. Many of her deceased enemies can tell anyone that. Unfortunately, dead men tell no tales.
Remilia noticed that her servant was now staring at her. "Just vat are you looking at, Sa-ku-ya?"
Sakuya giggled a heavenly sound. "That dress is very becoming of you, Milady. Good choice."
The Scarlet Devil blushed in appreciation. Instead of her usual pink colored gown and 'shower' cap, Remilia was dressed in a long blood red sleeveless dress with black trimmings on the edges and her powder blue hair was up in a French bun. She was also wearing a pair of stylish arm length black gloves. "Vatever. I just thought I should go for a different look for tonight's meal, that's all."
Sakuya then laughed. HHHHRRRNNG! "Milady, you have to pardon my jibe, but it seems you're preparing yourself for a date with a handsome young vampire." Remilia's face became red as her dress. "Or a date with a beautiful young she-devil."
Steam escaped from the vampire's ears. "Sa-ku-ya! You're embarrassing me!"
Remilia gave Sakuya chase, and the Perfect Maid ran out of the master bedroom while laughing like a schoolgirl.
MORIYA SHRINE
"Wow," Sanae said in a disapproving tone. "I never would have thought that you could be so... devilish."
"You may call it devilment, my friend," Suwako lectured in a mock sagely voice. "I, however, call it prosperity. This is what is known as a win-win situation, sweetie."
Sanae didn't like this proposal at all. "So, in exchange for Koishi's safe return to the Earth Spirits Palace, you want utmost faith from all the citizens residing in hell."
"Exactly." Suwako confirmed.
Sanae actually seemed a bit frightened. "You're insane."
"No I am not!" Suwako hollered.
"Suwako-sama, please reconsider your plan." Sanae pleaded. "I'm fine with Satori, Koishi, Okuu, and the others gathering faith in you but... but... faith from countless lost souls and evil spirits in hell... doesn't that notion unnerve you in the slightest?"
Suwako nodded her head haughtily. "Not one bit. I'm a god. Even evil spirits should know their place."
Sanae backed away from Suwako slowly. She could have sworn she saw a dark aura enveloping Suwako. The darkness reminded her of the countless tales of the Mishaguji told to her by Kanako. "Indeed you are a deity, Suwako-sama. But you are on the verge of becoming a demon!"
"Eh? Why so scared?" There was an evil grin on the mighty midget's face and she started creeping towards Sanae ominously. "It's okay, baby. Your great grandmother is here to take care of everything." With a gesture that may have inspired Yuka Kazami, Suwako outstretch her hand. "Don't be afraid. Soon, even hell itself is going to worship me. You will finally see why I am known as the Highest of the Native Gods."
"Don't come any closer to me!"
"Ya! Ha! Ha! Ha! Come to mama, my little pretty!"
Sanae was backed into a corner of the room. From there she unleashed a truly horrified scream that may as well be heard for miles. "LET GO OF ME! KYAAAAH!"
Suwako grabbed her frightened descendent by her hair. "Oh! Ho! Ho! I love it when ya scream for me!"
"I want my mommy!"
Suddenly, Sanae was saved from her wretched fate. "Girls, I'm back," Kanako announced as she entered the den. "What's with all the ruckus? Why is Sanae screaming like the world's coming to an end?"
Suwako halted in terrorizing her poor great granddaughter. She released Sanae's hair and told her, "Sanae, get a handkerchief and dry your eyes. What's wrong with you? I can't believe that you actually thought that I was going to harm you."
Kanako put two and two together. "Were you, Suwako?"
The storm goddess' ancient frienemy suddenly looked like a deer. "Uh, n-no. I was letting Sanae know how much in a good mood I am in right now."
If Suwako Moriya was in a good mood, it's like Hina interchanging someone's good luck with somebody else's misfortune. In other words, something wasn't right. "Why is that child in tears, Suwako? And I just saw Reiuji leaving the mountain. That means you have some explaining to do."
"Koishi Komeiji is missing!" Sanae shrieked and ran towards Kanako. She hid behind the storm goddess and glared at Suwako. "Okuu came over to let us know that Koishi's missing and Suwako-sama had something evil in mind."
Kanako's interests were piqued. "Evil? What is the little froggy up to now?"
"She wants Satori to come over so she can negotiate with her!" Sanae tattled.
"Sanae..." Suwako grounded dangerously.
The teal haired miko kept crying. "If we're able to find Koishi and return her to Chireiden safely, Suwako-sama wants faith from every last being in hell in exchange!"
"Ugh!" Suwako grunted in annoyance. "You are such a snitch, Sanae!"
Kanako glared at Suwako. "You've lost it, you know that? Just... what in the world were you thinking? Is that amphibian brain of yours finally drying up inside your noggin?"
"Eat a dick, old hag!" Suwako retorted.
"Old hag? You're older than me," Kanako remarked cruelly. "You're even older than my mother, little Miss Methuselah. During the beginning of time, when He said 'let there be light' I bet your ass was there to turn on the switch."
"Okay. That was low..." Suwako growled, "Even for a snake in the grass like you."
Kanako sighed, cradling the sniffling Sanae in her arms. "Have a little grace. You was scaring Sanae with another one of your far-fetched plans for mass faith."
Sanae glared at Suwako and lolled out her tongue at her. "Nnnngh!"
"You ungrateful, traitorous child!" Suwako shouted.
"Rather a traitorous child than a future demon queen!" Sanae replied flippantly.
"Another smart ass remark from you... I'm going to slap your faithless butt into next Friday." Suwako threatened. Honestly, she fed, clothed, entertained, and provided shelter for this girl for almost twenty years! Is this is how Sanae is going to repay her? Hell to the no! "I'll give you a good reason to cry about!"
"Hey! Hey!" Kanako commanded. "Stop this nonsense, the both of you!" She held the little mountain goddess at bay. She's successful in preventing Suwako from reaching Sanae but she was struggling in this ordeal. "Suwako, I refuse to let you put your hands on this child! I won't allow you to hurt Sanae!"
Realizing that Kanako was serious, Suwako cooled down. "Fine. I wasn't going to hurt her anyway. I was, however, intent on disciplining my granddaughter."
"Same difference," said Sanae. Suwako used to whoop her ass a lot when she was a child. Ironically, after moving to Gensokyou a few years ago, many people thought that Suwako was indeed Sanae's little sister/niece/daughter/younger cousin. But in reality, Suwako was the one doing the child-raising.
"Stop cheeking your ancestor, Sanae." Kanako advised. "You're making the situation more worse than it already is."
Humbled, Sanae bowed. "H-hai. I'm sorry."
"Anyway," Suwako returned to the television in the den. "Since you already know what I'm up to... mind telling us what you were up to while you were gone for nearly half the day." She dug into her bag of apple chips and silently cussed when she realized it was empty. "That damn hell raven… That was my last bag of chips."
Sanae resumed watching the television as well. The anime adaption of Iron Man was on. Kanako sat in front of her fellow goddess across the small table. "So you do know that I was brooding over something these last few hours," Kanako chuckled.
"Ya think?" Suwako retorted lamely. "I've known you for far too long to know whether or not when you're up to something. Sheesh, Kana, I saw the rain clouds you made earlier today."
"Sharp as ever, old friend," Kanako admitted. "Very well. I will tell you what I was up to. The matter at hand concerns Sanae's training."
Sanae glance towards Kanako at the sound of her name. "My training? Do you mean my youkai extermination regime?"
"Indeed." Kanako replied.
Suwako shrugged. "Don't try to fix something that's not broken. Sanae is doing quite well in handling any youkai that may be a threat to the Human Village. Along with the Hakurei child and the witch to help out from time to time, any concerns would be in vain."
"Understandable," Kanako allowed the older goddess' words to sink into her mind. "But as both of you may be very well aware of, that not all youkai are created equal…"
Sanae's mind instantly went back to an unpleasant memory. "That's the very same thing Yuuka said to Marisa and me when she last visited the Human Village. She was only garden shopping so we didn't bother."
"A wise decision," Kanako told the young godling. "Yuuka Kazami is no ordinary youkai, but we all know that by now." Sanae and Suwako both nodded at that simple fact. "Okay, allow me to rephrase that 'not all youkai are created equal' line: Not all youkai are evil. Nor, all of them aren't intent on inflicting harm or outright killing humans for that matter."
Suwako nodded. Sanae agreed with Kanako's words. "I see. For youkai, common sense may not be so bad after all in this land."
"Yea," Suwako added. "And just like humans they also have this irritating habit of overestimating themselves. That delusion is contagious among both humans and youkai."
Kanako suddenly beamed. "That is one indefinite similarity between the two species. Well said, Suwako. Spoken like a true goddess."
"Tch."
Sanae grunted. "Okay. Okay. So maybe it's true that both we humans and youkai tend to think we're a lot better than our actual selves. What does this has to do with my training?"
"While I was out, I gave the Myouren Temple a visit," Kanako revealed. "Actually, it was the mystical ship, Palaquin. Anyway, Sanae... You may very well be familiar with one Byakuren Hijiri. Correct?"
That name brought a slight frown to Sanae's face. "Byakuren... the infamous Youkai Savior. Yes, I know her. Mystic ship, UFOs, that little karakasa … yea, I'm fairly familiar with her. Why do you ask, Kanako-sama?"
Kanako prodded her fingers together in a capricious manner. "I spoke with Byakuren-san today - very down to earth kind of person, by the way. She's extraordinary unexpected for someone that has been sealed beneath Makai for nearly a millennium. She has my utmost condolences."
"Yea yea," Suwako spat impatiently. "It was mighty fucked up what the humans did to her back in the day. Sap story. Why am I not surprised that humans would do something so messed up? Now, can you get on with what you and Byakuren were discussing about? Please!"
Kanako had to stop herself from giggling at Suwako's pouting face. "Ahem. Byakuren and I were negotiating for a few hours... and she decided that the Myouren Temple may need additional human interactivity and influence besides herself."
"Hah?" Suwako said dumbly.
Sanae mentally absorbed the bit of information and her heart rate suddenly quickened. "Human interactivity... at the Myouren Shrine? Wait, what are you saying?"
Suwako sensed the growing discomfort from her descendant. She went into a frog's stance. "Kanako... so you're saying..."
"We agreed for Sanae to live there for a while," Kanako confirmed at last. "It will be excellent for her training. It will be a good opportunity for her to interact with youkai. In addition to that, Byakuren would be a great teacher for Sanae, for she is well adept in mysticism." There was a sudden chill in the den along with an awkward moment of silence. "Well?"
Sanae's eyes were hidden beneath her bangs.
Suwako looked like a poisonous frog that was ready to leap on its next victim. Pyonta looked extra creepy than it already was because of it's... crossed expression.
"Girls? What's wrong?" A giant bead of sweat was hovering near Kanako's head. "Orin got your tongues?"
Suddenly, Sanae amber eyes revealed themselves and they were flashing in anger. "I..." she grounded angrily. "…am... not... your... personal test subject!"
Kanako was appalled by the godling's exclamation of rage. "Sanae, calm yourself!"
"I have to agree with my baby, Kana-chan," Suwako followed in an ominous tone. "I ought to choke your ass out with your own damn shimenawa rope!"
Kanako's irises shrunk immensely as her eyes widened in fright. With snake eyes, she tried to reason with the older goddess. "But Suwako, I thought that- ACK!" It was a little too late. Suwako has already leap-frogged over her and tightened a rope around her neck from behind. "YAAAAAH!"
"Now, what in the hell were you thinking?" Suwako yanked on the rope slightly and there was this squeezing sound that followed. "And you thought that my plan was far-fetched."
"Argh!" Kanako was screaming like a little girl. "Suwa- let... let go of me!" She gripped the rope that was tightly constricting her throat. "HHHWWWAAAA! I'm... going to suffocate! HHWWWWAAA!"
Suwako didn't give a damn. "Isn't it ironic? I'm choking the life out of your snake ass!" She glanced at the satisfied Sanae and gave a command. "Sanae! Come get some of this action!"
The two-faced miko nodded in agreement. "With pleasure, Suwako-sama!"
And that night, there was a great ruckus among the Youkai Mountain. The source of the disturbance was coming from the divine Moriya Shrine. Not too far away, a lone figure was witnessing the great upset that was going on in the abode of the highest native gods.
"Holy crap!" A rather speculative girl exclaimed while viewing this event through a pair of binoculars. "There's a rumble of godly proportions going on over there!" The stranger took out a writing pad. "With great power, comes a great beat-down." She scribbled down the entire scenario on her pad at an amazing speed. "This is going to be the headline in tomorrow's paper! Ooh! This is so win!"
The sexy Aya Shameimaru, otherwise known as the Wind God Girl, was both the photographer and chief editor of Gensokyou's very own Bunbunmaru newspaper. With her trademark grin on her face, she took pictures of the Moriya Shrine. Though she wished she had her cell phone (recently got from Kourindou's) with her because the shrine was literally shaking and rattling due to the novel event. "Whoa! They're really going at it over there."
She was currently standing on a tree branch. The tengu was slender in frame and she was actually shorter than the five foot eight inches height her platform loafers indicated. She wore a white colored button-up blouse with black trimmings on the edges of the sleeves. The black miniskirt and thigh highs adorning her shapely legs were simple yet ultra hip. The red tokin cap on her head indeed identifies her as a tengu. The heavens know that she was sexy.
"Why thank you!" Aya voice her appreciation to no one to particular. With a flip of her semi-long black her she took on a pose, her deep brown eyes twinkling with mischievous curiosity. "Hey, does this miniskirt make my butt look big?"
Somehow, Aya managed to get an answer. Don't ask.
Um... yes. Quite lovely, in fact.
The tengu giggled like a love-struck schoolgirl. "Tee hee! I bet you say that to all the Touhou girls!"
Uh... she really shouldn't be doing this. And so, for the sake of protecting the fourth wall, a voice from below said, "Evening, Aya."
"Hmm..." Aya gazed towards the ground and laid eyes on a rather attractive green haired girl that wasn't Sanae or Yuuka. "Hey, what's up Hina?"
"It seems the peace of Youkai Mountain has been broken," Hina Kagiyama mentioned, indicating towards the violently shaking Moriya Shrine. Hina was one of many of the goddesses that inhabited the Youkai Mountain. While she is indeed an innocent creature, she was also potentially the most dangerous. Her height wasn't that impressive because she's only five feet even. She actually looks like a living decorative doll. Her long teal hair was slightly wavy and it was tied in a ponytail above her chest. Her outfit consisted of a very elaborate crimson bodice that has a long white ascot around its shoulders. The rest of the getup was a flowing dress of a lighter red color along with a pair of dark brown boots. There was also a symbol of a swirl on the dress. The adorable goddess was Japanese but her wardrobe speaks of Victorian influences. "What in heaven's name is going on over there?"
"Heh. It's the main article of tomorrow's paper, that's what going on," Aya replied.
"Oh dear," Hina nearly lost her gigantic ribbon on her head due to a sudden gust of wind. "Are the goddesses at war with one another again? Isn't their lovely miko caught in the crossfire? I fear for that girl's safety."
"Nah, I'm sure that Sanae-chan can handle it," Aya shrugged. "By tomorrow, they're gonna be all buddy-buddy and at peace with one another like nothing happened. I guess this is the god's way of having fun. So no worries, Hina. Everything's cool."
Hina looks sad for a moment. "If that is their way of having fun, then that is very unfortunate."
Aya tilted her head in confusion. "Hah?"
"A good evening to you, dear Aya. I shall return to the base of the mountain." After her courteous farewell, the Apotropaic Goddess starts to spin. Seriously, she started spinning like a human top. She started at an extremely slow pace and then... a moment later, she was spinning so fast that she looked like a miniature red, green, and white tornado ripping through the forest.
Hina's voice echoed throughout the forest. "How unfortunate indeeeeeeeeeeeeeed..."
Back on the tree branch Aya was standing on, she scribbled into her notepad again. "Hmm... 'Mysterious Red-Green Tornado Spotted In Youkai Forest'. Hey, that sounds like an excellent Bunbunmaru article since not many people know of Hina's existence. Yea, this is so another interesting scoop. Big Foot, Loch Ness Monster, Rin Satsuki... eat y'all hearts out."
CRICK!
"What was that sound?"
CRACK! CRICKITTY-CRACK!
The branches were breaking beneath Aya's weight. "Holy..."
CRACK!
"Ayayayayayayaya!" The tengu's scream was heard throughout Youkai Mountain.
THUD!
"I'm okay!"
The fortune goddess was right, this is an unfortunate event. Aya was lying on the ground with her shapely derriere in the air. Plus, the miniskirt was hiked up so far over her waist that her secret was revealed: she's commando. The unfortunate part was that there were no further details on her bareness. Sucks, doesn't it?
"Don't worry," Aya plucked herself from the ground. "I'll be happy to appease to the audience. Allow me to go into extreme details about my nether-"
Next scene, please!
SCARLET DEVIL MANOR
"Wow,"Koishi expressed in awe. "This is a very nice place you live in, Miss Meiling."The satori was following the mansion sentry throughout one of the many corridors of Remilia's abode. The corridor they were in was partially dark with chandeliers providing light. The marble floor was a dark green in color and it had an elaborate scarlet rug on the center of it. Every few yards on the rug were the golden symbols of a bat-like figure. Adorning the hall were many authentic knight armors from a time long before even the mistress of the mansion was even born. These corridors in the Scarlet Devil Mansion were definitely something straight out of the dark ages. "It's nice and dark, just like how it is back home."
"Ah. I'm glad you like our place, Koishi." Meiling replied with a genuine smile. She was getting along so well with Koishi. Right now she kinda wished that she didn't confront the mysterious girl earlier. Koishi was... in many ways, like the mistress' younger sister. "This place may look spooky, but it's surprisingly peaceful."
Meiling and Koishi approached a detailed blood-colored door at the end of the hallway. Before going through this door, Koishi noticed a house painting to her left. On the painting was a young girl with short lilac hair with intense red eyes. The expression on the girl's face was unreadable and it seems that her eyes could be gazing at one's soul. The portrait of the mistress very much reminded Koishi of Satori. "So this is the Scarlet Devil."
Meiling took a glance at the depicted mistress as well. "Yea. That's her alright. That would be Remilia Scarlet, owner of this Mansion. I think that painting of her was made before I was born."
Koishi tilted her head in curiosity. "I take it that it's been ages ago then. I guess she doesn't look much like this picture anymore."
Hong glanced at the painting again, this time with intense scrutiny. "I guess not. Though Remilia-sama still has those haunting, beautiful red eyes." The gatekeeper suddenly chuckled and tapped Koishi on the shoulder. "Hey. Just between you and me, I think Remilia-sama has the most beautiful eyes that I have ever seen. Goodness. Her eyes are like that of a mighty tiger back on the continent. This bust painting of her doesn't do her justice."
"Meiling," a voice spoke as the large door suddenly opened. "What was that about Remilia's eyes again?"
"Ack!" Meiling laughed sheepishly while scratching the back of her head. "It was nothing, Sakuya-chan."
"Right," Sakuya dismissed with a ghost of a smile on her face. "Come right this way, ladies." Beyond the door was a very large lobby. The floor of this spacious room was golden brown and the marble it was made of was flawless. There were at least fifteen different murals adorning the walls of this area. Six huge chandeliers hung from the ceiling overhead and one could tell from the visible staircases that this was the 'tower' part of the mansion. If anything, calling this place a ballroom is far more appropriate.
"Remilia-sama should be here shortly," announced Sakuya. "Once she's arrived we can congregate in the dining hall for tonight's feast."
Meiling sniffed the air. "Ooh. Is that garlic bread I smell?"
"Of course it is," Sakuya nodded. "No Italian dinner would be complete without it."
Koishi caught the scent as well. "Oh my gosh! It smells heavenly in there."
Rather ironic for a girl from hell for saying something like that.
"Good evening, friends." Someone announced from a corner of the ballroom. "That's quite a tantalizing scent emanating from the kitchen. I sure could go for a big feast tonight because I think my blood-sugar just fell."
"It's not that, Patchouli-sama," a mischievous voice sang. "You just haven't eaten anything in nearly two nights."
"Tch," the one called Patchouli responded. "I was so immersed in my readings that I must have lost track of time." Patchouli 'Patchy' Knowledge, The Great Unmoving Librarian, was nothing like her moniker suggested... specifically the unmoving part. She was a small cynical girl with long purple hair. Her hair was styled like that of a Far East princess and the longest of her bangs were tied with large blue bows. Her violet eyes were large but they seem narrowed because of her misanthropic nature. It was very difficult to tell whether she's a very small woman or a medium sized adolescent. She wore a simple sleeping robe; cream colored on the outer layer and white-purple striped on the inner layers. "Surely you understand, Koakuma."
"I can understand, Patchy-sama," Koakuma giggled while tilting her thin framed glasses. The mysterious (and sexy) girl was Patchouli's ever loyal familiar. Presumed to be a creature from hell, Koa was probably one of the easiest girls to get along with in Gensokyou. She's actually a succubus, and knowing that fact, she is indeed someone to look at. She was about Sakuya's height and build- only she was a tad shorter and having a bigger bosom. She has long dark red tresses with a pair of bat wings on the top of her head. Koa wore a black two piece business dress with a Victoria white blouse underneath it. The skirt part of her outfit was sub tight and rather short. Heading further south, she wore black thigh highs and a pair of dark brown loafers.
She looked very much like a fabled 'sexy secretary' that her threads suggested. "Those were rather steamy romance novels you were reading."
Patchy blushed. "Wow. Tell the entire world, why don't you?"
Koakuma's golden eyes gleamed mischievously and the wings protruding from her back fluttered. "It was rather cute, Patchy-sama. I don't see why not."
Sakuya took the opportunity to gather the two librarians' attention. "Ahem. Evening, ladies… We have a guest for tonight's meal. It would be nice that she doesn't catch the impression that you two are always bickering like siblings."
"Ah..." Patchouli gazed at Koishi for a moment. "Well what do you know? We have a satori among us. A rather powerful one at that."
"Huh?" Koakuma suddenly looked nervous. "Oh my gosh! Why haven't I noticed sooner? Concentrate..." Her mind suddenly went into a mantra: Think un-sexy thoughts! Think un-sexy thoughts! Think un-sexy thoughts!
Koishi noticed the shaky expression on Koakuma's face. "It's okay. You don't have to worry about me reading your minds. I am unable to do that if that's what you're thinking."
"Really?" Koakuma was astounded by this revelation. "You can't read anyone's thought? Seriously? Not even the ones from me about Patchy-sama having a big rack under her cloak?"
Patchouli's entire being became boiling red. "What? How do you kno- I mean, Koakuma! Stop speaking nonsense!"
From the corner of the librarian's eyes, she saw Sakuya glaring at her. Got-damn it!
Koishi gazed at Patchouli curiously.
Patchouli crossed her arms over her chest subconsciously.
And then, the devil herself arrived at last. "Good evening, ladies." Remilia greeted as she entered the lobby via a flying throne chair with large bat wings on it. Like a miniature version of Doctor Doom, she got off the chair and it disappeared once she was off of it. Her eyes widened in delight when she spotted Koishi. "Velcome to my abode... vat a beautiful evening this is! I am Remilia Andrea Scarlet, the Scarlet Devil and Eternal Queen of the Night. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!"
Remilia Andrea Scarlet? Koakuma, Meiling, Patchouli, and Sakuya thought coincidentally with a bad case of the skunk eyes.
On the other hand, Koishi was thinking, Wow! Meiling was right. She does have pretty eyes. I thought she would look much different from the portrait in the hall but I'm glad I was wrong.
"Likewise. It's very nice to meet you, Miss Scarlet." Koishi greeted, surprising Remilia a bit with her psionic voice. "My name is Koishi Komeiji, younger sister of Satori Komeji of Old Hell. I'm honored to be your guest."
A swaggering laugh escaped the little vampire. Game recognizes game. "Ah! Ah! Ah! Ve devils have to stick together. Am I right? Ah! Ah! Ah!"
There was something... odd about Remilia. And it wasn't her outfit for tonight. Sakuya reluctantly spoke up on the issue. "Umm... Remilia-sama?"
Remilia regarded the silver haired servant. "Hmm, vat is it, Sa-ku-ya?"
The other girls of the mansion noticed it too. Sakuya was the only one courageous enough to address the matter. "Forgive me if I seem a tad rude, but... I can't help but notice how raspy your voice is this evening. Are you coming down will an illness, MiLady?"
"Vat?" Remilia glared at the maid. "Vere did that question come from? Ve vampires never get sick. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Girl, you're the vorst! Ah! Ah- holy shit!" Remilia's eyes suddenly gleamed in realization. She began coughing violently. "Kghk! Kghk! Guhghk! Gah!"
Patchouli grimaced. "That sounds like a rather nasty cough."
"Ya think?" Remilia rasped. "Ugh! Why didn't any of you tell me that I sounded like one of my ancestors?"
Sakuya smiled, feigning innocence as she fiddled her fingers together. "Admittedly, you sounded totally cute talking like that."
"Vat!" Remilia's hand suddenly went to her mouth in shock. Peals of laughter filled the lobby. "Stop laughing already! It slipped!"
Meiling was about to pass out from laughing. Patchy and Koakuma were giggling like gossip mongers. Koishi was nodding her head with a blushing smile on her face. And a guffaw escaped Sakuya. "Milady, you would indeed make an excellent arithmetic teacher."
Meiling couldn't resist. "Ah! Ah! Ah!"
Remilia was not amused. "Okay! Okay! Would you all stop lollygagging now? Let's head over to the dining room." She eyed the group and noticed it was all of the mansion residents and tonight's guest... so that would leave only one more person. Something gave the Scarlet Devil pause as a look of dread made a guest appearance on her face. "Hey, isn't my sister on her way?"
A red mist suddenly 'poofed' in the huge lobby. Speak of the de... well, her little sister. "You rang, Sis?"
Koishi sensed an ominous presence. It somehow reminded her of evil spirits back home... but not as sinister. The new presence may very well be more potent than any evil spirits she encountered in hell but it's not pure evil. "Hmm?"
Remilia addressed the presence with a sigh. "It's about time you've showed up, Flandre. What took you so long?"
"Oooh," Remilia's younger sister cooed. She had a novel of some sort in her hands. "Big Sis, what does 'running a train' mean?"
Everyone in the room blanched (including Koishi). Remilia sighed again. Flandre's gone through puberty recently (of the vampire variety). She had a feeling that Flandre knew what the term meant. She just thought her little sister was just teasing her with the innuendo. She cursed the day when Flandre was (inadvertently) introduced to romance novels and, dare say, manga. "Look Flan, I'm pretty sure you know what that phrase means."
Flandre Scarlet feigned innocence, all the while with an evil smirk on her face. "Ooh. I can't say that I remember."
That's it. Remilia had to help Flandre recall a particular incident a few years ago. "Flan, remember that night when me, you and Sakuya ventured out to the Misty Lake on a full moon? In fact, it was your birthday."
Recognition flashed across Flandre's features. "Ooh! I think I remember! Tee hee!"
MISTY LAKE
TWO YEARS AGO
"What a lovely night this is!" Remilia exclaimed as she gazes at the full moon. She, Flandre, and Sakuya were having a late night picnic on the shore of the Misty Lake. A small cloud of darkness slowly descended onto the scene and it somehow didn't see the tree it crashed into. No worries though, it was only Rumia's monkey ass. Nothing important people. "What do ya think, ladies? You agree with me?"
"Agreed. It's a wonderful night to be out for a picnic," Sakuya replied and then she took a bite off a slice of chocolate cake.
"Yep-yep! The big red moon is awesome!" Flandre sang and tossed a pebble at the lake. The pebble skipped along the surface of the lake at a very impressive speed. Then it exploded all of a sudden, causing a slight downpour. "Whoops!"
"Well... at least you're having fun, Flan." Remilia commented as she began drying out her mob cap.
"It is her birthday, Milady," said Sakuya. "And this is her party."
"And I can kyuu when I want to!" Flandre exclaimed. And then...
"I'm the strongest! I'm-"
BOOM!
"That's a thousand points!" Flandre announced in triumph. "Keeping it stylish! Kyuu for the win!"
Sakuya gave her applause. "Excellent kill, Flan-sama! And you have done it on Lunatic difficulty."
Remilia had a bit of sympathy for Flandre's victim. Emphasis on 'bit'… "Oh well. At least she has unlimited tries."
"That's a good one, Milady." Sakuya guffawed. She opened a bottle of tea and she nearly spilled it from giggling.
Flandre yawned and look at the stars in the cloudless sky. And then, a peculiar sight caught her attention. "Hey! Looks like I can rack up more points tonight!"
Remilia looked towards where her little sister was paying attention to. Several yards away she could see the forms of two animals among a patch of shrubbery. "Hmm. Wolves. I guess the beasts came out this evening to enjoy the sight of the moon as well."
Sakuya glanced at the wild dogs and then... "Wait. I don't believe tonight's moon would be the reason they venture out near the lake this evening." The maid's silver eyes narrowed in order to get a better view and her eyes suddenly registered surprise. "Eh! My goodness!"
Remilia noticed what the wolves were doing too. Her face suddenly colored red and steam escaped her ears. They're humping! Oh no! I hope Flandre doesn't realize what's going-
It was too late. The act piqued Flandre's curiosity. "Say, Big Sis, what are they doing over there? It looks like they're... wrestling."
Got-damn it! A pox on those senseless hounds! Those beasts should be more discreet with their copulation! Remilia really didn't want to put the burden on Flandre. She thought Flandre was not yet ready for the concept of the birds and bees. "Uh... shit... the wolf in the rear hurt his leg... and... uh... and the friendly wolf in the front is carrying him... yea," Remilia explained lamely. "That's... what friends are for." She glared at Sakuya for support. "Right Sa-ku-ya?"
The maid almost dropped the sweet potato she was munching on. "You would be correct."
Flandre brought her hand to her chin in deep thought for a moment. Over the years, the blonde vampire has developed a perception of the word 'friend'. Suddenly, a devilish grin appeared. She swiveled her glance towards both Remilia and Sakuya and said, "Damn. Isn't that just like a friend? You try to help out and he'll fuck you every time, won't he?"
C-C-C-C-CHARISMA BREAKER!
The sweet potato in the maid's hand hit the ground after all.
Remilia was deathly still and white as a sheet of paper. "Uuuuuu~..."
SCARLET DEVIL MANOR
PRESENT
Flandre was shrieking with laughter. "Gyah! Ha! Ha! Ha! I remember now! You were speechless, Big Sis! We left you standing near the lake for hours!"
Sakuya was blushing from the memory. "You totally looked like a deer after your sister's... sentiment that evening, Mistress."
"Right," Remilia said with a frown. "Children definitely grow up fast, don't they?" She stared at Flandre and took in her physical features... which has significantly changed since that incident from two years ago. Flandre has semi-long golden hair and it was still tied to a ponytail on the left side of her head. She wore a red sleeveless shirt with a whitish-pink shirt underneath it. The skirt she wore was the same color of her shirt. The younger vampire also wore her trademark pink mob cap. Her odd maverick wings were made of iron and there were polyhedron shards of multiple colors on each wing. Flandre was the younger Scarlet, but she has grown a tad bigger and taller than Remilia recently. A hint of jealousy hit Remilia. She could make out the small mounds on Flandre's chest area. The thigh highs on her legs didn't help either.
Perhaps what upsets Remilia the most about Flandre appearance was... "Flan... are you wearing garters?" She noticed the lacy bands that lined her sister's inner thighs. "Since when did you start wearing such gaudy undergarments?"
"Aw," Flandre pouted, regretting the fact that she chose to wear her skirt short. "I thought they would look cool on me, Sis. Besides, I'm a growing girl. I don't need to wear kiddy underwear anymore."
Sakuya's nose suddenly started bleeding. "Please excuse me, ladies." She announced and ran off towards the nearest bathroom.
Remilia sighed. Puberty was a wonder sometimes! "Ugh... whatever, let's go eat tonight's dinner." She suddenly noticed that Flandre was now staring at Koishi intently. "Right, I nearly forgot. Flandre, this is our guest. She will be joining us for dinner."
Koishi bowed to the younger vampire. "Good evening. I'm Koishi Komeiji. How do you-"
"Are you a new toy?" Flandre interrupted, a tad disoriented by Koishi's way of communication. "You're a strange one."
Koishi tilted her head, baffled at Flandre's bluntness. "Excuse me?"
"Hey. How are you talking to me when your mouth isn't moving?" Flandre wondered. "That's kinda weird."
"Oh! Right! Sorry to alarm-"
"You're doing it again!" Flandre shrieked with wide eyes. "Scary toy! You scare me!"
Remilia was immediately alarmed of Flandre's unease. "Flandre, she is not a toy."
"Then why doesn't she talk like normal people then?" Flandre wondered with her heart racing. Tch. She said 'normal'. Taste the irony.
"That's because she isn't like any of us, Flandre." Remilia tried to explain.
Koishi nodded, "Your sister is right, Flandre."
Flandre pointed a finger at the doomed satori. "You! Shut up!"
Both Patchy and Koakuma feared for Koishi's safety. Meiling made an effort to calm the little vampire's rage. "Flan-sama, don't worry. Koishi's pretty friendly. She's not scary at all."
Flandre was hugged from behind. Still, the feeling of Hong's luscious bosom on the back of her head didn't help. "Get those big balloons off of me, Meiling! I want her gone!"
Remilia gasped in horror. "Flandre! Now wait just a minute- GYAH!" She was suddenly knocked back by an unknown force from Flandre. "Flandre! Don't do it!"
The devil's little sister was now surrounded by an ominous aura. She glowered at Koishi with horrifying shining red eyes. "Scary girl, it's time for me to kyuu you!"
Koishi was understandably frightened. "Kyuu?"
Meiling tried to restrain Flandre but she too was knocked away. "What are you doing? This is wrong, Flan-sama!"
Flandre raised her fist before her. "It's time for me to break the scary girl!"
"No! Wait a minute!" Koishi pleaded but her eyes grew in shock because of her body suddenly growing warm. It seemed like every fiber of her being is now getting hotter by the second. And like Flandre, there was a red aura enveloping her as well. Could this be the end of Koishi?
A horrible grin was on Flan's expression. "Kyuuuuu..."
"Welp..." Patchy gave her condolences. "It was nice knowing her."
Staring death in the face, Koishi began to cry. "Please! Please don't break me, Flandre! I wasn't trying to scare you! I don't want to die!" She gasped in horror when she discovered that she was being levitated by Flandre's mysterious power. "Why are you doing this?"
Flandre frowned. There was a vein bulging on her forehead. "Kyuuuuuu!"
"I'm so scared!"
Something unusual was happening: Flandre was actually struggling to break the satori. "Kyuuu! Grr... Kyuuuu... Rrrrrrgh! KKYYYUUUUUUU!"
Remilia noticed this too as she bear witness to this event. What in the world is going on? How is that girl still alive?
Koakuma's eyes were giant white dots and she was panicking. Patchy, on the other hand, watched the event unfold before her eyes with morbid fascination. This is rather peculiar. Isn't Flandre holding back? Or is it that- it can't be! Could that satori actually counter Flandre's wrath?
Flandre's face was now covered in sweat and there was a large vein bulging on her hand. She almost cracked her fangs from gritting them so hard. "Why! Why won't you break already! Kyuuuu!"
Koishi eyes were clenched shut. Her body was smoldering hot by now. "SATORIIIIIII!"
A small explosion occurred. The 'kyuu' finally happened. However, Koishi fell back on the floor in one piece. She gazed down at herself and sighed in immense relief. She was unharmed. The 'kyuu' failed... but how was it possible? "Oh! Thank goodness!"
Flandre, on the other hand...
"Flan!" Remilia cried.
The devil's little sister was breathing smoke from her mouth. Her clothes were burnt and tattered. Flande stood as still as a statue with her head tilted to the left along with a look of pure disbelief on her face. "K-k-k... kyuuu...
"Flan!" Remilia shrieked as she noticed the horrible burns all over Flandre's body. "Flan, are you okay? Answer me, Flan!"
"Ugh..." Flandre grunted as her body made a sizzling sound. "She... she... kyuu-ed me instead, Sis." With a demented smile, the stronger Scarlet passed out.
Absolutely astounding! Patchouli thought while making a note of the event. That girl actually managed to withstand Flandre's psychotic kyuu! She gave Koishi a thumbs up. "Congratulations! You've managed to mindfuck even Flandre. I guess there's a first time for everything."
Remilia cradled Flandre in her arms and stared at Koishi in wonder. "You... you're really are from hell."
That memorable night, a great upset occurred within the Scarlet Devil Manor. Realizing what she had done, Koishi bowed to the mistress. "I'm sorry, Remilia. Please forgive me!"
MYOUREN TEMPLE
Kogasa Tatara waited for the mysterious visitor to approach the temple. She was well hidden in one of the many trees surrounding the place. "Byakuren-san said someone was coming over for a visit today," the karakasa giggled. The morning sun gave her a sort of a purple color. The sun has yet to rise over the horizon. "I dunno who's the visitor going to be but I bet she won't forget about me anytime soon." She suddenly noticed a figure at the bottom of the towering stairs. Perfect.
"Heh hee," Kogasa guffawed mischievously. "I'm going to scare the daylights out of her."
The turquoise haired girl bounded from tree to tree like a ninja. She could see that the visitor was wearing dark clothing and was carrying a large duffel bag. She was also carrying a purse and a strange rectangular object that had the label Toshiba on it. Though the equipment the stranger lugged with her were weird, Kogasa didn't care. It was time for the moment of truth!
"Wait for it... wait for it..." the karakasa couldn't believe her luck. This is going to be such an easy spook! The ghastly girl wore a teal colored vest and and skirt. Her sleeves were white along with the design on the lower part of the skirt. She didn't wear any long socks nor thigh-highs. Rather, she wore a pair of geta sandals. She has heterochromia and her red eye gave the her the effect of having one eye. There was also this large creepy umbrella that she carries around with her that has one eye and a large tongue sticking out from it's mouth.
Kogasa's victim was getting closer and her heterochromatic eyes narrowed in pure mischief. "Here goes nothing!" She hopped off a branch of a towering tree and began twirling in midair like a spiraling plane.
On the temple stairs, Sanae Kochiya was royally pissed. She did not want to move in with Byakuren and her youkai troupe. What in the hell Kanako was smoking on when she came up with the idea? Oh right, she was having a meeting with Byakuren. They both were probably getting high off Thai reefer... popping pills... or munching on weed cookies or something. "I can't believe this. The nerve of that woman." Sanae complained. "This is worse than the time when we relocated to these super-boonies in the first place."
And by 'super-boonies', she meant Gensokyou.
"And then, despite the ass-whooping we gave Kanako-sama last night, my great grandmother agreed to it." The bad girl in Sanae was talking now. "I mean, what happened while I was sleeping last night anyway? Did she bought some dope over to Suwako-sama as well?"
Midway towards the peak of the stairs, a turqouise blur invaded the miko's vision. There, right in front of her was a cute heterochromatic girl dressed in all teal. She was hovering upside-down and the inverted skirt of hers revealed her long shapely legs and red bloomers. The freakiest thing about this girl was the huge tongue of hers.
"URAMESHIYAAAAAAA!" Kogasa bellowed.
Sanae was not frightened, nor was she amused. A huge vein bulged near her temple and a sick smile made it's way to her face. "You..."
"Ah?" Kogasa took a moment to recognize the face underneath the hood. After realizing who it was, she suddenly looked like a deer. "Uh oooh..."
"Heh heh heh... good morning to you, too." Sanae chuckled darkly. "Something tells me that I'm going to enjoy my stay over here immensely."
Kogasa's mouth was agape like a scared infant. "No! I-I-"
Sanae snatched the ghastly cutie with one hand. "You're the stress relief that I so desperately needed, toots!"
END OF CHAPTER TWO
And so, the Wind Priestess moves into the Myouren Temple. What will she endure when she begins training with Hijiri? What about poor Kogasa? Will she live through Sanae's stay at the temple? And then there's Flandre. How will she behave now that she has been humbled for the first time in her entire life? Is she going to wrest vengeance on Koishi?
Hey! What about Yukari? She didn't get to explain why she allowed some technology in Gensokyou.
Reimu: That's right, Yukarin. You have some explaining to do.
Yukari: Not so loud. Gosh! My head's still hurting.
Reimu: We're all waiting for your explanation.
Yukari: Okay. Okay. I just wanted to introduce this land to digital media. That's all. Since a lot of missing dvds, television sets and other gadgets somehow ending up at Kourindou's, I don't see why not.
Reimu: I see.
Yukari: Just be thankful that I didn't introduce a public transport system nor fast food restaurants here.
Reimu: Fast food? I didn't know food had speed.
Yukari: Don't worry about it. Seriously, you're better off not thinking about it.
And there you have it: Yukari's explanation. Although she may go into details about it next chapter… Emphasis on the word 'may'.
Until next time! And I may consider crack-pairings in future chapters.
