As I speak her eyes flutter open, "I'm trying Elly, it's not easy to get over someone who makes you fall in love with them every time your with them though," I answer truthfully and drop my head into my hands, and slouch back against the bathroom door, cringing at my confession. Tears prick at my eyes, willing them to go away, I push my hands into my eyes. I feel the shift of Elly pushing off the sink counter, and her stepping across the bathroom to me. And then her hands are pulling mine from my face. When I don't look up her right hand nestles itself under my chin, and gently raises my head to look at her. I make a pained expression as I glance at her face, expecting to see pity for the girl who can't get over her brother's fiancé. That's hardly the emotion I find though looking into Elly's eyes. I'm met with a desire clouding her eyes that I've never seen aimed at me before. Then lips touch my own, and I only see the inside of my eyelids. Elly is kissing me. Not me kissing Elly, no, she initiated this, and I go up in flames. The room feels a hundred degrees hotter than before, and the cold tile of the bathroom door does little to keep me grounded to reality as Elly's hand that was under my chin slides to my cheek, and then to the back of my neck where her fingers rake over my skin there. Her other hand has found a home on my left hip, which is keeping me standing at this point I'd say, along with my hands that are gripping her hips for dear life. I feel Elly's tongue lick the seam of my lips, and my mouth opens in a moan. I'm screwed.
I pull her into me harder as her tongue enters my mouth and it's the hottest experience I've ever had. We are both quickly losing breath as our mouths are crashed together and our tongues duel for dominance. I'm the first one to pull back and gasp for air, but this doesn't deter her much because she kisses the corner of my mouth and heads for my neck. My breathing hitches and my head spins as she nips and then kisses up and down my neck. At some point she finds my pulse point and drags her teeth there and I moan so loudly, I have to capture her lips again or I'm going to die from being so turned on. I tug on her lower lip, pulling her back into me, and then slow down the kisses because the fog is starting to break as I hear people on the other side of the door. I'm so confused about what just happened, and I need to get as much distance between us as possible to figure this out, so with shaking legs I push past her to retreat to the other side of the room. I'm about to tell her to lock the door she's now leaning her head against catching her breath, so we can talk about this, when someone pushes on it to enter.
Elly stumbles back from the door, with a little lost balance, towards me. I right myself in case I need to catch her, but she just needs a steadying hand. I'm sure her balance has been compromised from the alcohol as well as our heated make out session. My hand went out to steady her by going to the small of her back, and that's what Bea sees as she enters the bathroom. "There you guys are, what the hell is taking you so long to pee, we were worried you'd disappeared for good, are you okay Elly? I know that lap dance wasn't your thing, I'm sorry she did that." Bea consoles her sister. "It's okay Bea, it wasn't your fault, I was just a little shaken up, and Chloe's been talking me down from the embarrassment of it," Elly laughs it off a little. Props Elly, that was some quick thinking, I acknowledge her. "Yup, she's all good now, as long as we're getting the hell out of here," I say cheerily and with way more confidence than I'm feeling at the moment. "Perfect, I'll order the car on the way out, let's go," Bea agrees. I step closer to Elly as Bea's opening the door out of the bathroom to leave, and rub my thumb that's still resting on the small of her back in small circles for a brief moment. She gives me a small, pained smile, and follows after Bea. I lead her through the crowd with my hand still on her back, I can't bring myself to break the connection until I absolutely have to, and it seems to be calming Elly in the slightest, she about looked as though she might hyperventilate the way her breath was coming out before Bea barged into the restroom. At one point, I put a little more pressure on her back so we're not severed by the heavy crowd and come into contact with skin, I can't help looking down at the newly exposed strip right above her skirt. The olive skin there is so soft and delicious looking that I lick my lips to attempt to get some of the saliva back into my dry mouth. All too soon I spot our group, waiting near the front doors, they all seem to be ready to go as well, only when I spot Mel not looking too pleased do I drop my hand and cut the contact with Elly, extremely begrudgingly though. I swear I hear an almost whimper from Elly at the loss before all her friends welcome her back.
"Onto the last pub of the night!" Bea announces, I think she's ready to reel the night back in. Mel hangs back for me, as I'm the last one out the door behind Elly. She gives me a look, like you're going to have to explain yourself when we get home, and I just keep walking toward the car. My emotions feel fried already from this night, I don't know how much longer I can stay, I might not have to lie about a migraine for an excuse after all. The last 2 seats open are one in back next to Elly and one up front, since I'm in front of Mel I have first pick, and I'm definitely not adding to Elly's guilt over that kiss anymore by making her sit next to my girlfriend for this car ride, so I quickly hop in back, and Mel is forced to take the front, which might make her angrier, but I really don't care right now. I squeeze in between Elly and the right side door, and then the lights go off in the car as we get going to our last destination. My bare thigh is pressed against Elly's bare thigh, and it's doing things to me. I have to lean my head against the window, but I still somehow end up glancing at Elly because I have to see if this is killing her too. Thankfully Maeve's pulled the same move as me, with her head resting on her window, since she's in the back with us as well, and isn't noticing anything. A glance over at Elly tells me that this is effecting her too. Her eyes are fluttering from the contact, and she drops her right hand that was resting in her lap to the very edge of her thigh. Her jaw is clenched, but she looks like she wants me to reach out to meet her hand, so I slowly move mine over, looking away and inhaling deeply as our pinkies come into contact. Elly bites her lip, and intertwines our pinky, ring and middle fingers over on my left thigh. The gesture as well as having her hand resting on my thigh is driving me wild, especially with the darkness in the car, and the quietness, everyone's starting to get drowsy. I want to know how romantic she'll let me be, and I reach my thumb out to the back of her hand and rub patterns there, not only to give reassurance to her that we're in this together, but also to stop my own mind from spinning out of control.
When we reach the pub that's our last stop for the night, my whole body's on fire. Elly ignites something within me even from the simplest touch, my body is so reactive and sensitive to her. Right before the driver puts the car in park, I run my pointer finger up the side of her thigh slowly, making her look at me. She inhales, and looks at me with a longing in her eyes. I give her a pointed look, trying to make sure we're okay for now. She reaches over and squeezes my hand before the car lights come on when the first door is opened, shocker its Mel huffing off to the front door of the bar. Well, she's clearly mad at me for earlier. Elly makes a sort of yikes face at me as we're unloading from the car and I giggle at her. As much as I don't want to, when my feet touch down on the pavement, I know I should go talk with Mel. I let them all know that I'll join them at a table in a minute, and give Elly an apologetic look as I set out for Mel. She's at the end of the bar, already downing a shot, and looking fiercely at me as I walk to her. I don't bother sitting down. "Look, I know you're not happy with me, I disappeared for bit there at the club, but I just wasn't about to watch Elly be super uncomfortable with some guy, so I just went to the toilets for awhile until I thought it would be over," I explain, not telling the whole truth, but not flat out lying to her either. Mel glares at me, "You've got a lot of explaining to do Chloe, clearly you're into her, which is 50 shades of messed up in itself. And don't tell me you didn't come back from that whole disappearance with her." She crosses her arms. I don't bother going into my attraction for Elly, and focus on the second part of why she's angry tonight. "Yes, Elly came into pee after having a drink, and I was asking her if she was okay from the lap dance when Bea found us, and let us know everyone was ready to go, it's not like Elly ran into the toilets to find me, she had no clue where I'd been," I answer. "Okay Choe, if that's all your disappearance was, we can talk about the rest of this conversation tomorrow, can we just go soon please? I've about had it for the night," Mel sighs. I feel terrible for lying to her, I'm just putting off our inevitable break up at this point, but my emotions can't handle anything more tonight, so I agree, and we walk back to the group. We'll probably be breaking up when we have our discussion, I'll tell her the truth about how I feel for Elly, no matter what this means for Elly and I. Either I'll end up fleeing the country for real before the wedding if Elly goes through with it, or Elly and I will have things to figure out so we can be together, no matter what, I don't see myself with Mel at all anymore, nothing can help me get over Elly now, except probably never seeing her again. She's too branded in my heart, brain, and soul now that I've gotten a taste of what being with her would feel like, I couldn't get over that.
Cocktails are being sipped at the table, as the girls eye the dance floor. Most people in the place are either dancing or chatting on the dance floor. Tina, sensing the energy level of the group has diminished, tries a last ditch effort to keep the party going by dragging us onto the dance floor. In my overt attempt at keeping my eyes off Elly, Mel is rolling her eyes at me. I am trying to dance on my own as far away as possible from Elly, just to get through the end of the night without any more arguing, but this is ridiculous, so I lean into Mel's ear and tell her, "why don't I walk you out and get you a cab, I'm just going to sleep at mine tonight Mel, it's been a long night, and we'll talk tomorrow, you're just going to get angrier at me no matter what I do right now." Mel gives in angrily, she lets me walk her outside and get her a cab, but slams the door of it in my face as I'm trying to say goodbye. I turn around and find Elly leaned up against the pub wall off to the side in the shadows. "I wasn't meaning to pry," she explains as I walk up to her, "I just didn't want you to leave without saying goodnight." I lean against the brick of the building next to her, "I'm sleeping at mine tonight, she's pissed and I just couldn't handle anything more tonight." "Right," Elly affirms, pushing off the wall to head back inside. I'm afraid I offended Elly by saying that I couldn't handle anything more tonight, but as much as I'm dying to get some answers from her about what this all meant, I don't think when we're both still inebriated is the best time for this talk. "Elly, I'm just not in the headspace to talk about this tonight, I didn't mean to hurt you at all," I clarify. She nods her head in understanding and comes to stand in front of me, "I don't think I am either, let's just get back inside to call it a night okay," she asks of me. I nod, and take her hand to upright myself, and give her sweet kiss on the cheek in passing. Once back inside, we dance a little more, which actually is a good way to unwind from the drama, and then everyone is calling it a night. Maeve and Tina are the first to snag a cab, bidding us goodnight. "I hope you enjoyed yourself tonight El, you deserve it, despite our little strip club pit stop, which will be some pretty good ammo to tease you with for awhile," Bea laughs at her sister when it's down to the 3 of us waiting for a cab. "I did, I really appreciate all that you did Bea, it's been a great night to unwind, and wow so not glad you have that in your arsenal to mercilessly mock me with now, but I enjoyed myself, so thank you," they hugged, and then a cab pulled up, Elly let Bea take this one to make sure she got home safe. And then it was just us, and I get shy and awkward because I don't know what to say at this point. "I got ready at yours tonight, so I'm just going to sleep in Mark's bed there, so we can share a cab back if that's okay with you?" Elly asks. "Of course," I say cheerily, trying to ignore the twinge of jealousy that she'll still be sleeping in Mark's bed tonight, even though he's not even going to be there. A cab pulls up and we scoot in, Elly gives the driver the address. I want to say something to her, I just don't know how to form the words to have them come out being anything short of me begging her to choose me, despite not even knowing if that's what I want, I mean mark would be devastated for Elly to leave him, let alone because and for me. I feel sick suddenly, and Elly must sense my inner turmoil because she reaches between us and takes my hand lovingly in hers.
When we step up to the house I find myself pausing because I have so much to say, but a lot I don't want to get into, and what I do want to say I have to say now because I'm sure Aaron and David are asleep inside. Elly turns to look at me. "Look Elly, I've got to just get this off my chest tonight because I don't know if I'll have the guts to say it to you in the morning, and you don't have to say a thing back to me. I get that this situation is complete rubbish, so here goes. As you already know, I'm completely, truly, madly in love with you, you are incredibly gorgeous, smart, kind, thoughtful, and you can take all my bullshit in stride. I don't know how you feel about me, but I see these looks you give me sometimes and my heart soars, and when you touch me I fall apart. I know I have a limited future and I can't give you everything you deserve, but I will spend every single day of my life convincing you and showing you how loved and special you are to me." I feel tears start to slowly stream down my face and I force out, "I don't want you to marry Mark, and I understand how selfish and awful that is, but don't we all get to be selfish sometimes. I don't know what I would do without you in my life Elly, you mean the world to me, and I love you." I can't decide if I want to see her face, or look at the ground because my heart will split open if she just walks away from me. I look up though when I hear a sniffle from her, and then I'm being enveloped in the most comforting hug. Her hand is rubbing my back and she's whispering in my ear, "I'm not going anywhere Chloe, I love you so much, I thought I wanted Mark, but I was hiding from what's been right in front of me. I'm in love with you Chloe." My heart leaps out of my chest and I cling onto her impossibly tighter, sobbing into her shoulder.
