Hey everyone! So sorry this took so long. RL is being annoying. I've been so busy, if it hadn't been for Kitty, I probably wouldn't have opened this for another few weeks so thank her for incessantly nagging me. XD

Also because MJ told me to, I've been forced to tell you all that this is entirely my work. MJ is only a character and is not writing this with me. She said that she feels bad because people are giving her credit when she's not doing anything. XD I told her it's not a problem but here I am. Okies?

So thank you to Trinity, insanehouseaddict, HuddytheUltimate, Kitty, Volonta Forte, Shika, Gaby, HOUSEM.D.FanForever, Gigi892, MJ, Housefangirl35, and Cappy! You guys are the greatest.

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Chapter 3 – Chameron in a Closet

A knock on the door made them jump. The handle jiggled but when the door didn't budge, they heard an audible sigh.

"Wilson, open up. I know you're in there. I just heard you talking. Come on. I don't have all day."

MJ and HA exchanged looks of shock. Wilson turned to them. "Shit…it's Cuddy. Go! Out the balcony door! We'll talk later! I'll hold her off!" he whispered.

They scrambled out of the back door of the office and slipped on to the balcony. Wilson saw them out and relocked the door. He ran over to his desk drawer and pulled out his spare stash of medicinal marijuana and rolling paper.

"Wilson!"

"Coming!" He opened the door and gave Cuddy a shy smile. "Sorry." He let her in and sat behind his desk again. "What's up?"

---HA---MJ---

MJ and HA crept out onto the balcony, shutting the door as quietly as possible. They ran to the wall and were about to vault over it when HA stopped. She slowly crept back and peered in through the door. Cuddy was standing in front of Wilson's desk, looking as intimidating as ever and HA felt a pang of regret for leaving him there. They definitely should have taken him with them.

Suddenly Wilson's eyes snapped to hers. His eyes grew wide and he began to make small shooing motions with his hand while pretending to pay attention to Cuddy.

She ran back to MJ.

"What's going on?"

"Cuddy's in there interrogating Wilson like the Spanish Inquisition. We better get back down there before she does or we're totally screwed."

MJ nodded and they vaulted over the wall and onto House's balcony.

---HA---MJ---

She eyed him suspiciously. "What were you doing in here with the door locked?"

"Well, I was rolling some joints for one of my patients," he answered, holding up a joint. "She can't roll." She saw his eyes flick to the balcony door.

"Right…Were you smoking one as well?"

Wilson looked back at her and made a face. "What are you talking about?"

"Well you were talking to someone. I heard you. So either there was someone in this office or you were smoking one as well. So Wilson…what is it?"

"I wasn't talking to anyone!" Cuddy's eyes narrowed. "And I wasn't smoking them! I swear! I can't stand the smell of them."

Cuddy spun around fully in one quick movement to look at the balcony door.

Wilson squeezed his eyes shut and prayed that HA had gone. He looked around Cuddy.

She was gone.

---HA---MJ---

MJ pushed open House's balcony door, which was surprisingly unlocked, and they crept inside, closing the door behind them. The room was dark and after a quick scope out, they saw House asleep on his easy chair near the door. HA and MJ held their breaths and quietly tiptoed past the subtly snoring diagnostician and made their way to the door. MJ's hand was around the handle of the door when she heard a loud thud.

She quickly spun around and saw HA flat on her face, looking up at MJ with a nervous and slightly frightened smile. "Sorry," she whispered. "I tripped."

MJ was about to retort when she heard a grunt from her right. HA ducked down and MJ held her breath and looked at House.

---HA---MJ---

Cuddy turned back to him and glared. The glare didn't last however. She sighed and scrubbed her hand over her face. "Sorry…I guess I'm a little on edge. I came up here to get House's ass to the clinic but when I walked into his office, I saw that he was asleep and I…I just didn't have the heart to wake him up."

"So you saw the rings too?"

"How could anyone miss them? He looked like a raccoon. I had to assure three donors that this was definitely a hospital and not a zoo."

Wilson snorted.

---HA---MJ---

House let out a low grunt and shifted his neck a little but continued to sleep. MJ breathed a sigh of relief and gave HA thumbs up. "Let's go before we wake him up," she whispered.

HA nodded and crawled to the door. MJ rolled her eyes but held it open for her and stepped into the hallway after her. HA jumped up and they ran to the elevators. MJ frantically pressed the buttons to take them to the ground floor as HA repeatedly hit the 'Close doors' button. When they were safely inside the metal box, they collapsed against the walls.

"That was way too–" said MJ after a moment.

"Fun?"

"No."

"AWESOME?!"

"Ah…no."

"Then what?"

"Close."

"Totally."

"And it's all your fault, you know that right?"

"Yep."

---HA---MJ---

As the door swung close, House opened his eyes and looked around. He frowned.

What the hell was that about?

Why were HA and who he presumed was MJ sneaking in his office? Something was up. And Wilson definitely knew what was going on.

---HA---MJ---

Wilson nodded and Cuddy looked distant for a moment. He watched her for a second. "Cuddy?" he asked softly.

She blinked at looked at him. "Um…well thanks for letting me talk to you, as always." Wilson nodded and Cuddy turned to the door. "Oh, one more thing, ah…have you seen MJ and HA? They were supposed to be back at my office by two."

Wilson's eyes grew wide but he quickly masked his surprise. "Ah…nope I haven't seen them."

Cuddy nodded and closed the door. Wilson let out a sigh of relief.

God, he was a terrible liar.

---HA---MJ---

MJ plopped down in her chair, HA plopping down on the floor beside her. "We made it! Thank God."

"Uh…MJ?"

"Yeah?"

"I was just thinking…"

"Oh no."

"Isn't Wilson a terrible liar?"

MJ paled. "He is, isn't he?"

"Yep…"

"Crap…"

"Yep. Do you think that…"

"No…No way. We are not going think of that. Cuddy knows NOTHING, you hear me? NOTHING!"

"All right. But I'm just saying…she might be suspicious after–"

"Hello there, girls."

HA yelped and peeked her head out from behind MJ's desk to see Cuddy standing there, tapping her foot.

"Hello there, Dr. Cuddy. Did you have a nice lunch?" asked MJ pleasantly, trying desperately to avoid her death glare.

"Yeah, Dr. Cuddy, how was your lunch?"

"It was just fabulous, girls. I spent the whole time searching for House…and you two."

"Um…"

"We're sorry, ma'am. We were in the bathroom. MJ had a killer nosebleed."

MJ nodded dutifully. "I told HA to go back to you but she refused to leave me until the bleeding stopped." She'd said it so sincerely that they saw Cuddy's glare falter.

HA held back a snort.

Cuddy inhaled deeply. "All right, that's enough of that. Don't worry about it. I'll let you off easy this time, but next time I won't be this lenient."

"Yes ma'am."

"Anyway, HA, take these notes please, and both of you get back to work."

They nodded dutifully and Cuddy strode into her office. As the door slammed shut, the released the breaths they didn't realize they had been holding.

HA turned to MJ. "I think I better get going. I'll meet you back here at five so we can figure out what we're doing."

MJ nodded and HA ran off.

---HA---MJ---

Five didn't come soon enough. HA slumped into the elevator and made her way back to Cuddy's office. She'd be running her into the ground. There had been so many notes and things to do, HA didn't even have time to say hello to MJ, let alone discuss the plan. HA sighed. This was going to be much harder than she thought.

She walked into the clinic and saw MJ furiously typing away at her computer. She slumped into the chair.

"Hey. How's it going?"

"Pretty good. Cuddy's been running me into the ground. I think my legs are going to fall off."

MJ snorted but continued typing. "I stopped working for about 15 minutes and snuck into the cafeteria to pick up a salad for Cuddy. I felt bad that she missed her lunch. That's why I'm still working."

HA smiled. "What did she say?"

"Well, she looked grateful, if that's what you mean."

HA closed her eyes and began to doze when the door to Cuddy's office burst open. She jumped and hit her knee on the desk.

"HA!"

She cringed in pain but managed a half mumbled, "Yes, ma'am?"

"I need you to take this note to Dr. Moskowitz, please." She shoved the note at HA and stomped back into her office.

HA sighed heavily. "Damn it, not again."

MJ giggled. HA turned and gave her a death glare. "Not another word."

---HA---MJ---

By the time HA was done, two hours had passed. The night was young but outside the hospital was pitch black. MJ and HA stood by the sliding doors at the entrance of PPTH.

"HA?"

"Yeah…"

"What are we going to do now?"

"No idea."

"I know we can't initiate any part of the plan tonight."

"Nope."

"So I just have one question."

"Uh-huh."

"Where are we going to sleep?"

HA groaned. MJ sounded pleasant enough but HA could tell that she was trying to hide her annoyance about having been thrust into such a crazy but amazing situation.

"I'm working on it."

"Well, if you wouldn't mind, can you please work on it faster? My legs are gonna fall off."

HA rolled her eyes. "Stop complaining about your legs. I was the one running around the whole freaking hospital."

MJ giggled and HA shot her a death glare…again. "I have an idea. Come on!"

HA dragged MJ down the hallway. "Geezus…HA! What the heck are we doing? Where are we going?"

HA didn't turn around but instead, kept dragging her down the hallway. "We're going to find the nearest janitor's closet and–"

"W-W-W-WAAAIT a second!"

HA stopped dragging her down the hallway, to MJ's relief, and turned to give her an inquisitive look. "What?!"

"This isn't where you try to make out with me, is it? Because I have a guy at home waiting for me and I don't think it'll work out between you and me…we're just too different."

HA's face contorted into a look of such surprise that MJ couldn't hold it in anymore. She started laughing so hard she dropped to the ground, rolling all over it.

"Get off the floor! Geez, and get out of GutterLand while you're at it. You spend too much time with Krissy. Come on! We're almost there!" She grabbed MJ and half dragged her down the hallway before she was able to get a handle on her laughter and get off the floor.

"You should…have seen…your face! It was…priceless."

"Can it, girlie. We're here."

They stood outside the janitor's closet on the third floor near House's office. "What are we doing here?"

"Well, I think we're going to have to spend the night in the hospital. I mean, do you have any money on you?"

MJ dug through her pockets. "All I have is…a nickel, a paperclip, and this chibi Huddy comic that I drew while answering the phone. You?"

HA stuck her hands in her pockets as well. "Hmm…I've got…three dollars, a pencil, my house keys, and my set of House trading cards."

MJ raised a brow. "House trading cards?"

"What? They're AWESOME! There's one of every character and all these diseases and patients and you have to battle with them. House is the best, by far. And I have like, three of him, so I'm basically unstoppable."

MJ's face…pretty much looked like this: o.O

"All right…I officially think you're weird. Changing the subject, fine, we'll sleep in the hospital. But why in the janitor's closet?"

"Got any better ideas?"

"Uh…no."

"Exactly. So come on, we better hurry."

"What, do you think all the good janitor's closets will be taken?"

HA glared at her. "No, but if we want to get in there before someone sees us I suggest you hurry up."

The jogged toward the closet and HA was about the turn the handle when MJ stopped her. "Wait a second."

"What?"

"I think I hear voices."

"Oh my God…like…dead people?"

"NOOOO. Like…there's someone inside there already."

HA frowned. "Who could possibly be–?"

Against MJ's better judgment, HA turned the handle, flicked the lights and gasped.

MJ, who was right behind her, peeked her head around the door. "What hap—OH!"

The janitor's closet was already being occupied. Chase and Cameron stared at them wide-eyed. Chase's shirt was missing, as was his belt. His hair was tousled and he was slightly flushed, though growing pinker by the second as the two girls stood there, gaping at his bare chest.

"Um…"

"Well, this is a bit awkward," said Cameron, buttoning up her shirt and looking at them with mild amusement, trying to cover up her embarrassment.

HA sputtered. "Chase and Cameron…in a closet…IN THE SECOND SEASON?!?!?!"

Chase frowned. "Um…what?"

MJ elbowed her and HA coughed. "I mean…Chase and Cameron…in a closet…um…what?"

MJ rolled her eyes and tapped her foot on the tiles before narrowing her gaze at Cameron. "What are you doing here? In the hospital? With Chase?"

"HEY!" cried out Chase, indignantly.

Cameron frowned at her. "Who are you to ask me such a personal question? What Chase and I do on our own time in the hospital is our business, not the business of two teenage candy stripers," she replied haughtily, her voice dripping with disdain.

MJ pursed her lips and raised an eyebrow. HA's stomach flopped. "Well," replied MJ, coolly, "it may not be our business, but it is Dr. Cuddy's."

Their eyes widened in obvious fear. Cameron looked as if she was going to say something but thought better of it and raised her head in contempt. Before she could say anything to cover up their fear, Chase broke free from her evil, sleazy clutches and ran at them, getting on his knees. "OH PLEASE DON'T TELL DR. CUDDY! PLEASE! I'LL DO ANYTHING!"

"Anything?"

HA and MJ looked at each other and nodded. MJ continued. "Step outside, please, Dr. Chase." He was about to get up and follow them out of the closet but HA stopped him.

"And put some clothes on."

Chase blushed slightly and ran back inside, threw on his clothes and rushed out the door. Cameron was about the follow but MJ stopped her. "I'm sorry. We'd like to speak to Dr. Chase…alone."

Cameron growled indignantly and stomped back into the closet, slamming the door behind her.

Chase stared at them intently. "Well?"

"Dr. Chase, how long have you been…"

"…doing skanks in janitor's closets?"

MJ elbowed HA again. "Ow…sorry…" she said sheepishly.

"How long have you been…having sexual relations with Dr. Cameron?"

"Fine…be all proper and formal, why don't you?" mumbled HA before observing Chase.

"Um…probably for a few months now. On and off though, since she got high a while ago."

"Seriously?!" asked MJ and HA in unison.

He frowned at him. "What?"

"Um…nothing. Sorry. Anyway…"

MJ coughed slightly. "Well, we promise not to tell Cuddy about this little escapade…"

"OH THANK YOU! THANK-"

"IF you promise to stop banging Cameron in closets and just tell her how you feel. It's ridiculous. She's just leading you on if she doesn't actually have feelings for you and that's just…mean."

"And we love you, Chase. We really do," added HA and MJ groaned inwardly.

"Love me? You don't even know me."

"Oh but I do. I know more about you than you think," replied HA in a slightly sultry voice.

"Uh…"

"We'll just be going now," replied MJ quickly, grabbing HA and dragging her down the hallway. She pulled her into the nearest room and shut the door. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DO YOU EVEN THINK BEFORE SAYING SOMETHING?"

"What? I thought it would be funny…" said HA, pouting slightly.

MJ growled. "Do you WANT to blow our cover?"

HA looked away sheepishly. "No."

"Exactly."

"Sorry…MOM."

MJ sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Why do you call me that?"

"Because you act like it!" She stuck out her tongue.

"AND YOU ACT LIKE A CHILD SO THERE!"

HA's eyes grew wide. Her lip began to poke out slowly. MJ groaned. Well as long as it doesn't start todammit. Her lip started to quiver. "Oh…all right. I'm sorry I called you a child."

The lip immediately went back in and ceased its incessant quivering. She gave MJ a warm smile. "It's ok. Come on, I have another idea."

---HA---MJ---

Five minutes later, after a little bit of searching, MJ and HA were standing outside of Coma Guy's room.

"You're kidding…"

"You have a better idea?"

"Nope."

"Then we're bunking with Coma Guy tonight."

MJ sighed. "I'll get the pillows."

She left the room and HA looked around. She stared at Coma Guy's motionless form. It was sort of unnerving but if House could eat on him, sleeping in his room would probably be ok.

"Mr. Coma Guy, sir, I hope it's all right that MJ and I stay in your room for the night. We really don't have any place to stay here in Princeton since we're from…out of town and we're only here for a while to get House and Cuddy together. If we disturb you in any way, please just…" She stopped. What would he do? Groan if they bothered him? That's awkward…

"Well, I hope we don't bother you. But I heard MJ snores so…"

"HEY!" MJ walked in the door with two pillows and blankets. HA giggled. "So where are we going to sleep?"

HA pulled the visitor's chairs close to each other. Luckily there were four. They placed them together like beds and placed the pillows and blankets on them.

"Well, this will have to do," said MJ, observing their handy work, "Though I'll probably have a major backache in the morning."

HA shrugged and turned off the lights before climbing onto her bed. "'Night MJ."

"Night."

After a moment of silence, "HA?"

"Yeah?"

"Were you…talking to Coma Guy while I was gone?"

"Yeah."

"You know what?"

"What?"

"You're…a dork."

"I know."

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All righty…what'd ya think? Please review, guys, thanks so much!! I'll see what's going on with the next chapter of Desperation but enjoy this in the meantime.

Love you all.

HA