A/N: I wanted to confess something, my friends actually asked me to put in some cheating stuff into this story, but I just could not! I have gone through the pain, seeing my parents making that mistake and I just could not write it, this is my escape from reality so I am keeping it sweet and mushy. LOL! I hope this does not disappoint you. Enjoy and review (:
"Good morning Daddy and Mommy" Evie greeted us with a big smile.
"Morning Angle"
"Morning Evie dear" Ana replies and gives her a hug.
While I am eating my breakfast which consists of two toasts, two bacon and eggs, I remember that I have to go to Phoebe's apartment by 8.15am to pick up my grandson, Danziel, as Phoebe has morning classes today.
"Ana, we have to hurry up, Phoebe has morning classes today, and we need to pick up Danziel at her apartment."
"Oh okay, I'm almost done." Ana replies as she finishes up her scramble eggs.
Evie has already finished her breakfast; she gets up and bid her goodbye to us before she leaves the house.
"Bye Daddy and Mommy, see ya later." She smiles.
I reply her with a smile and Ana give her a kiss on her cheeks.
Twenty minutes later Ana and I are in the car on our way to Phoebe's apartment. My precious Phoebe is still alive, no words in the universe can describe how I felt when I found out that she is still alive, she was presumed dead three years ago, and that news devastated everyone.
Phoebe Gracie Grey, my strong, beautiful and talented daughter. She is so special, she is just like a star or even a sapphire that always brighten up the darken sky. She is very talented in Arts, with a voice like angel and a body that can sway to any music, she is amazing. But life is not always fair; life will always give before they take.
It all happened when Phoebe broke off her engagement and demanded to go to England to further her studies. I, at first was furious at her, and thought that she was being a brat and also very inconsiderate towards everyone, including her shit ass fiancé Nicolas. In fact everyone was angry at her, even her best friend and Ana; they all thought that she was being very irresponsible. I tried to stop her, but as a Grey, nothing can stop her from getting what she wants. In the end, she applied into an Arts university in London, and left with everyone in the family disappointed with her attitude and her behavior. But she did not say anything; she just kept silent all the way. Even after she had reached London, she did not utter a single word to anyone in the family except Teddy and Ava. However, as her father I still care about her welfare, so I hired a bodyguard, Phil, to take care of her. Phil would have to report everything about her to me every day. Surprisingly, all she had done there was study, dance and nothing else. She hardly goes out and she was very hard working.
The trouble started six months after she had gone to London, when Phil reported that she went missing. It was as though she had just disappeared into thin air. I went frantic, I tried my best to search for her, using both my money and power, but still I could not find her. That fateful came, when Phil called me to tell me that Phoebe was dead. I was enraged and exasperate, how could he said that Phoebe was dead, she could not be dead! However, I knew I was just in denial I just did not want to believe that my precious Phoebe was dead. At that point, I still had not told anyone about Phoebe's suppose death, so I went to Taylor and asked him to get the jet ready to leave for England in a few days. After reaching England I contacted Phil and questioned him on what happened on the night of Phoebe's disappearance. Lastly, I asked him the most important question of all, how did he know that Phoebe was dead? He told me that he had done a lot of underground search and found out that there was a clash between two mafia groups and Phoebe was caught between their fight. She was accidently murdered and then burned to make sure no one could find her. One of the men gave her bag to an old lady not knowing that it contains her passport and ID.
I felt hopeless, despair and despondent. My daughter was dead… DEAD! How was that possible, it was impossible! The control I had snapped and I charged towards Phil, I felt outraged, how he could have let my daughter die! He was supposed to protect her! Taylor had to held me back while Phil closes his eyes and then apologized, saying that he was very sorry and that he never wanted this to happen. I then calm myself down, and went to report this to the police, since the accident happened few weeks ago, it was very difficult for them to track down the people who was involved in killing Phoebe, but with the help of Phil, they managed to catch the boss and a few of his man.
After I had taken care of everything in London, I flew back to Seattle. I was tired and I felt drained, but there was one more task I had to do, which was telling the news about Phoebe death to my family. It was a very difficult thing for me to do, I just wanted to close my eyes and escape reality but I could not. I never thought I would lose any of my children, but I did, and I never thought I could felt that degree of pain, it felt like a knife that was repeatedly stab into your heart, but you can never die, you can only feel the agonizing pain. I knew that I had to tell Ana about Phoebe's death before I told anybody else.
I brought her to Escala that day, she knew that something was not right but she did not say anything throughout the entire car ride. Once we reached Escala, we went to the dining area and I poured some wine for the both of us. She took a sip before looking into my eyes. My heart was breaking, how could I have let Phoebe died, I kept berating myself. Atlas, I found my courage to tell Ana about Phoebe's death.
"Ana I don't know how to tell you this, but please just forgive me… don't leave me Ana." I broke down; I did not expect that it just happened.
"What's wrong Christian you're scaring me, I promise I'll never leave you!" Ana gave me a hug and comforted me.
"Phoebe… phoebe… phoebe is…dea..dead." tears like a broken pearl necklace flowed down my cheeks before I could even finish the sentence.
Ana eyes were wide and her mouth was trembling, she took a deep breath before she spoke.
"How… Christian please do not lie to me! You're lying right! My Phoebe is not dead, don't joke with me on this!" she sobbed. Her tear-streaked face just made me felt worst about myself, how could I…
"It's true Ana, I'm so sorry but Phoebe is dead, and I'm just so…" I covered my face with my hands, ashamed of myself; I kept blaming myself for what had happened to Phoebe.
"Christian, I'm sure you're not at fault, I was at fault too. I should have not been so angry towards her, I just… I should have told her I love her, why didn't I do that! Please just tell me how all of this happened?" she whispered her voice barely audible.
I explained to her all that I knew and she continued to sob and cry, that night we slept together on the floor where we had drunk about 10 bottles of wine.
The following day, I had arranged for the whole family to meet me at my house. We had eaten the dinner prepared by Gail before I gather them at the living room. Slowly, with Ana by my side, we broke the news to them. They could not believe at first, but slowly the came to accept the truth. Two weeks later, the funeral for Phoebe Gracie Grey was held. It was calamitous day, the sky was dark and everyone attending was feeling sad and mournful. It was especially painful for me as I did not even have a body to burry, just an empty casket, filled with all of our love for her as we buried the casket deep into the ground.
Phoebe's death had affected Ana and I greatly. We started to become more distance with other people even towards each other. My need for control was increasing and Ana just kept defying me and rejecting me. I was angry, desperate, and just confused. What the fuck was I doing with my life, I kept asking myself. Another big fuck up came when I lost a big client, shitty asshole. I just needed control, I needed more. And I had an idea in my mind, a sub. I was tempted to get a sub to release all of my stress and just beat the shit out of her. As more troubles arose, the idea of getting a new sub was getting more and more tempting. I actually reasoned with myself that getting a new sub was not having an affair, it was just business.
A week had passed and Ana still kept ignoring me, Evie was busy with her school work and I just felt so lonely and tired. I made my way to Escala that day to get myself a new sub, I told myself that I needed one and I will get one, and that I am not cheating, definitely not cheating. I went up to my office and took out my phone to arrange for a new sub that will be able to fulfill my needs. As I was about to call, I saw a framed photo, a family photo of my whole family at my mother's house, it was taken last year during Thanksgiving. And I remembered one line that I had gave thanks to. "My dearest Ana, for giving me everything I need and much more."
That was the break point, I felt wrong and I was disgusted with myself. How could I even think of getting a new submissive, how could I have convinced myself that this was not cheating. I could not believe that I was about to arrange for a new sub, I am truly a monster. My legs felt numb and I collapsed onto the hard wooden floor. I could never do that to Ana, I love her, I just forgotten how much. Memories about our first year together flooded my mine, my beautiful and wonderful Anastasia. I was about to destroy our marriage! I should not have even thought about getting a new sub, it was beyond wrong!
I took out the key to the playroom as I reminisce the memory of the time when I first brought Ana there, she was so innocent then. How much she had changed me. She had made me feel things that I never thought I would feel. I fell in love, and I was about to ruin everything. I was glad that I managed to stop myself from making the biggest mistake I could ever make, that day I promise myself one thing, to all be truthful to myself; and to never make any shitty excuses.
I drove home immediately as I wanted to see her, my Ana. I went up to our bedroom and found her crying on our bed. She heard me and looked up at into my eyes, blue eyes to grey. God how much I love those eyes! I went up to her and engulfed her with my hug, she then place her face on my chest and sob. I continuously stoke her head to comfort her. I know that I had to talk to her, to resolve our problems.
"Ana we need to talk." I tilted her chin to make her look into my eyes. She reply by nodding her head
"I almost make a very big mistake today, and it made me see that how wrong I was. I need you Ana, stop avoiding me, stop ignoring me! Just talk to me."
"I so sorry Christian, I just feel so useless… I don't know what to do! I kept thinking that I had done everything wrong! I am not a good mother." She covered her mouth with her hands, trying to stop herself from sobbing.
"No you're the best mother in the world. Things just happen, we may be able to prevent Phoebe's death, but what makes you so sure that nothing will happen to her the next time? Maybe her time is up, she needs to go. Let just stop blaming ourselves and move on, it's not easy but we have to try, and I will always be there for you, I love you so much Ana." I placed her hand on heart, the once forbidden place, the place where only Ana could touch.
"Oh Christian, I love you too and I'm sorry for my behavior, let's start moving on."
That night we made passionate love to each other.
Then about three years later, a phone call that shocked me and almost took my life(in a good way…), it was Phoebe and she wants to come home.
"Christian! What's wrong? We've arrived at Phoebe's apartment let's go." Ana voice woke me up from my memories. Sigh again…My without memories had once again taken over my brain and awareness towards the surrounding…
"Nope, nothing's wrong, let's go." I smile. Yeah, I am glad we had that talk. I love you so much Ana, thank you for everything.
