The Will to Live:

I awoke the next morning with my eyes still swollen from crying the day before, and a terrible headache just to make a bad day worse. I squinted at the sunlight streaming through the window and rolled away from the light. Or tried to. The fact that Legolas was taking up over half the bed was making that quite difficult. He grunted as I accidentally rolled onto his arm. He sat up, rubbing the offending limb.

"Did I actually say you weigh next to nothing yesterday?" he groaned. I swatted at him and finally got turned away from the sunlight. He stood up and stretched. "I am going to be black and blue from the beating you gave me last night," he complained.

"I gave you a beating?" I asked, confused. Legolas grinned.

"Yes, in your sleep. I had always thought the point of sleeping was to rest, but you seem to think it a chance for a workout. You nearly kicked me out of the bed at one point." Now I cracked a small smile, despite my dismal mood.

"That was probably intentional, considering the fact that you took up the majority of the bed and caused me to nearly roll off the edge." He made a face, but I continued. "And as for the thrashing about in my sleep, I had a terrible night mare which probably explains that." I looked down at my hands which I had folded in my lap. "I kept seeing my father being killed by a terrible orc, and I knew what was happening each time, but I could not get to him in time, no matter how hard I tried. It was like somebody, or something, was holding me back. It was horrible." Legolas quickly moved to my side, once again putting his arm around me to comfort me. I had never known that he could be so understanding. Then again, nothing like this had ever happened before, either.

"I am sorry, Mara." He stayed there for a few minutes before asking, "Are you hungry? I could bring you something if you want me to." I raised an eyebrow at him.

"I am not hungry, but if I were, I could get it for myself. I am grieving, not an invalid. But I do appreciate the offer," I said with a half smile, not wanting to sound too harsh. This was when Aldeon walked in, looking very weary, his dark hair messed up and his clothes dirty. He gave Legolas an odd look when he saw his arm around me, but I ignored this as I rushed to embrace him. "Aldeon! I was worried about you." I leaned back to look at him. "Are you alright?" He nodded.

"I am sorry I ran off like that yesterday, but I just needed some time to think." I hugged him once more, showing that I understood.

"Did you sleep any last night?"

"No. Where is Mother?" I frowned. I would not let him get away that easily.

"She is in her room. I doubt she will come out any time soon. You need to go to bed, but only after you have had something to eat," I said I as I grabbed his hand and began to pull him towards the kitchen. He resisted.

"No, I am fine. I am not hungry, and although I am weary, I cannot sleep just yet. They are having a memorial service for the fallen soldiers at noon, and I must change. I will tell Mother," he said, though he looked as if he dreaded the task. I shook my head.

"It is a few hours yet until noon. You go sleep, and I will wake you in enough time to get dressed. I will talk to Mother." He began to protest, but decided that it was not worth the effort and kissed me on the cheek before turning to go to his own room. I stared at his retreating form until his bedroom door closed behind him. "He is really out of it," I said to Legolas. "He did not even acknowledge that you were here. But I suppose that is understandable. He was much closer to Father than even me." Legolas nodded.

"I suppose I should go home. Father will no doubt be wondering where I was all night. Do you need anything before I leave?"

"No, I am fine. Will you be there at the service later?"

"Yes, I will see you then." He turned to leave, but when he reached the door he turned back to face me, uncertainly. "Are you sure you are okay? Aldeon and your mother may not be themselves for a while. If you need anything, you will tell me?"

"Of course," I said with a smile that showed more confidence than I felt, or so I thought. "Thank you for being here last night. I really needed someone to talk to."

After he had gone, I quickly changed clothes and took a deep breath, not exactly ecstatic about going to speak with my mother. I was kind of nervous about it, to tell the truth. I had seen how grief-stricken she had looked yesterday, and why should she not be? Her husband was dead. I did not know how I should handle the situation.

I knocked softly on her door, but when there was no response I opened it to see her sitting by the window. She did not even spare me a glance as she continued to stare out the window. I was startled by her haggard appearance. I knew she would not be herself, but she looked so worn. She was pale and she looked frail, as if she would break with a single touch. I took a deep breath.

"Mother?" She did not respond. "There is a memorial service today for the fallen soldiers. It is at noon. Would you like me to bring you anything, some food or something?" she looked at me for the first time since I had entered the room.

"He is dead," she said simply, her voice cracking. I did not know how to respond to this, so I knelt in front of her and placed my hand over hers, which were clasped tightly in her lap. She was silent for several moments before she continued. "I have no husband, you have no father. How can we go on?" I squeezed her hands tightly. She was beginning to frighten me, with the way she spoke, as if there were no hope, but I would not allow her to see my fear. I had to be strong, she needed me to be.

"We will go on as we did before. We were fine alone, even though we thought he would return. We will be fine." Mother shook her head slowly.

"There is nothing for me here without the hope of his return." My eyes widened at this as I realized what she was saying. I had never known an elf that had died of grief, but I knew that it was possible. But my mother was so strong, surely she could not mean what she was saying. She was simply in shock, too deep in her grief to realize what she was saying, I decided.

"You need to get dressed for the ceremony," I said firmly as I stood and pulled her to her feet. I could not sit by and watch her sink into the depths she was headed for, and she evidently was not going to do anything for herself, so I helped her change and led her to the kitchen where I fixed luncheon for her and Aldeon, who I woke up an hour before we had to leave. I made sure they both ate well, though I ate nothing myself, then took my mother's arm to lead her as we left.

The whole of Mirkwood had arrived for the ceremony, for everybody seemed to know someone who had died. It began with someone reading a list of names of those who were lost. I grew paler and paler as the list seemed to go on and on. How could this many elves had died? Legolas had nodded at me when we arrived, but he could not come to sit with us as he was now the prince; he had to sit by his father at the front. Some people were weeping throughout the service, but others were simply silent as it progressed. My mother was one of those. She stared straight ahead the entire time, never shedding a single tear or showing any emotion. I, however, was crying long before they reached his name on the list. Such a great loss of life never should have happened. And these were only the elves from Mirkwood, what of those from the other elven realms? They surely had lost just as many, if not more. After the names were read, King Thranduil stood and spoke of how bravely they had all fought, that their loss was not of no avail, that the enemy had been defeated and that those of us who were still here could be safe, thanks to the valor of those who had fought to defend Middle Earth.

After the service, I took Mother home and made sure she got in bed, as I was quite sure she had not slept the night before. Aldeon was sitting in the kitchen when I came out.

"How is she?" he asked.

"Not good," I admitted. "She seems to be in a sort of daze. I would expect no less, considering the circumstances, but it is still kind of disconcerting." I had decided not to mention what she had said earlier about nothing being left for her here. Unfortunately, my brother was more perceptive than I gave him credit for.

"And?" he prompted. When I did not respond, he sighed. "She lived on the hope that he would return. Now that that hope is gone, I fear that we will lose her." I felt the familiar pressure behind my eyes, but I held my tears back. I had cried enough in the past two days for a lifetime.

"She said as much herself this morning," I said quietly as I sat in the chair beside him. Aldeon set his elbows on the table and rubbed his hands over his face hard before looking back up at me.

"I am sorry I was not here with you yesterday. Were you alright?" He looked concerned and had placed his hand over mine on the table.

"Yes, I was fine. Apparently, I passed out when I found out about Father. Legolas brought me here and stayed with me."

"All night?" I raised my eyebrows at his strange tone.

"Yes, all night. I told him he could go home if he wanted to, but he said he would rather stay with me because of all the things that would be going on at the palace." Aldeon said something under his breath that I could not quite catch, then looked at me hard for a few moments before looking down at the table.

"I am glad he was with you. I just needed some time away from.everything." We were silent for a few moments before I spoke again, hesitantly.

"Aldeon, if the worst happens, what will we do?" Upon hearing this, Aldeon stood abruptly, pulling me with him and gathering me into his arms for a tight hug.

"We will still have each other, Mara. I will take care of you, I swear it." He pulled back to look at me, wiping away the tears that had stubbornly insisted on spilling over. "We will be fine, no matter what happens." I nodded and held him tight. He had been far too distant lately, and I was relieved to have him close again. I soon pulled away, though, when I noticed through the window that the sun was setting.

"I need to start dinner," I said as I started for the cupboard.

"Oh no," came Aldeon's quick reply as he grabbed my arm to stop me. "I will take care of dinner tonight. You go relax." I turned to face him.

"I would but for the fear that you cooking will not be edible, brother," I said, tongue in cheek.

"Bah, it will be edible enough," came his reply, along with something that he may have considered a smile. In any case, it was the closest thing to a smile I had received from him since yesterday. I went to my room, not quite as despondent as I had been when I had left it that morning.