Chapter 3: Tears, Heartaches, and Distant Memories

Author's Note: So… I was not expecting almost 200 hits on the first day. Hopefully I can keep you all entertained. As for this chapter; I show what I think could've happened as the shuttle returns to the Normandy. As well as one of the things Shepard does to pass time between missions. Also so far only Kasumi and Mordin have been recruited. Messin with the timeline a little *he he*. And now without further delay, the story.

"People come and go, but the memories you have of them will always be there. And I'll be damned if you think you can dishonor them." -unknown

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The shuttle rocketed away from the landing pad; the eclipse guards there still firing at it, occasionally hitting it until it disappeared into the clouds. Kasumi stood in front of the shuttles holographic interface. Her own grey box in hand. She looked it over, afraid that it might actually be Pandora's Box in her hand. It had the potential to ruin a lot of people's lives. Shepard stood nearby. Kasumi looked over to her. She nodded and brought up the control console as Kasumi inserted the box and ran the program. Shepard keyed in several commands and the first message began playing.

And then Kasumi was alone; with Keiji and all their memories. He stood in front of her, his features exactly as she remembered; the combed black hair, the alluring eyes, the mark on his chin.

"Kasumi if your seeing this," his voice even sounded the same. Hearing it brought back a flood of memories to her mind. "It's because I'm dead."

The hologram of Keiji waved a hand, causing the frozen boxes of several dozen videos to appear to her left. "The information we found is all here," he continued. "It's big Kasumi. If the Council ever got wind of this… the Alliance could be implicated."

Kasumi turned and began walking beside the row of videos, searching for one particular memory.

"Kasumi I," he stopped. She passed several stills of them together, but still couldn't find the video for which she searched for. "I encrypted the information to keep it safe. And I uploaded the encryption key to your grey box, so no one could get the whole package."

She stopped. There it was; the file she wanted to see. She touched it with her Omni-tool and the video came to life. It was a video of the two of them, together on Illium.

"But if I'm dead," the hologram continued as Kasumi watched the video of her tackling him onto a bed. "And if anyone knows about this… then I've made you a target, my love. I'm so, so sorry."

She balled her hands into fists. He was fearful for her safety. "Keji," she stared at the floor, wishing he were still alive to let him know that she was safe.

The recorded message continued. "I know you Kasumi. You'll want to keep these memories forever. But you don't need neural implants to know that I will always be with you."

A pit formed in her stomach upon hearing the next part of the message. "Please Kasumi, destroy these files," Keji told her. She ran back to the hologram. "There's nothing more I can do to protect you."

"I," she stuttered whilst placing a hand on the holograms shoulder. "I can't do that! This is all that's left."

"Good bye Kasumi," the recording said. Ending with, "I love you."

Kasumi embraced the hologram in a hug, fearful that letting go of it would be letting go of all the memories she was surrounded with.

And then it was over, the program ended and she was back with Shepard aboard the shuttle.

"Is there anyway we can just destroy the information?" Shepard asked genuine concern in her voice.

Kasumi's voice, by contrast sounded defeated. "No. Keji was a master at encrypting files. He laced the information into his memories. You can't have one without the other."

Shepard rested her chin in one hand as she thought long and hard about her next few words. Finally she concluded. "You heard him Kasumi, he wanted you to destroy the information and save yourself."

"I know," Kasumi said. Slowly the realization of the idea set in as she walked over to the image of Keji's face; and the grey box. "I just, I can't. This is all that's left of him."

Shepard walked up beside her and offered her support. "If it's easier, I could do it for you."

"I," Kasumi whispered on the verge of tears. She slowly backed away from the grey box. "Okay. Just get it over with. Please"

Shepard nodded and pressed the delete key. The image of Keji flickered, before fading away. She turned around to see Kasumi, tears running down the girls face. Shepard quickly took the two steps to Kasumi and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"I'm here for you Kasumi," Shepard whispered. "If you need any…"

She was cut off when Kasumi embraced her. She began to cry on her shoulder. Shepard's arms froze where they were, as unsure of what to do as Shepard's mind was.

'She just let go of her old life,' she thought. 'She needs you right now. Do it.'

Shepard wrapped her arms around Kasumi, whose body now shook with sobs. Shepard rocked her back and forth.

"I'm here Kasumi," Shepard said in a whisper. "It's okay. You can let it all out. I'm here."

The sobbing only got worse. It went on for what felt like an eternity, until Shepard could hear Kasumi start to say something. She only managed to catch the end of the sentence.

"… He's gone," Kasumi whispered. "He's really gone."

The words hit Shepard like a bullet. She let go of Kasumi and brought a hand to the thief's chin. She brought Kasumi's face up so she could look into her eyes.

"I said those exact words once," she said. "And I'm going to tell you exactly what the man that brought me out of my pit of sadness said. Don't say they're gone. Don't you fucking dare say they're gone. They live on in here."

Shepard put her hand on her heart. "And here," she brought the hand to her head. "They live on in your memories of them. Through the good and the bad they will always be with you. Never let go of them."

The tears seemed to have slowed as Shepard wiped a single tear away from Kasumi's cheek. "Live for the lost."

Kasumi backed away from Shepard, rubbing her red and bloodshot eyes as she did so.

"That was," she began. She inhaled a calming breath to keep the new tears that threatened to escape at bay. "That was something. Was the man that said that, close to you?"

Shepard froze; a memory she thought was buried away came rushing to the surface.
"No," she whispered. Her eyes stared into the distance of the memory. "He wasn't. But that is a story for another time."

Shepard pushed the memory away and refocused on Kasumi. "Are you going to be okay?"

Kasumi nodded. The innocent smile she usually wore was back. "Yes, and thank you for bringing me out of my pit of sadness; and for helping me get revenge for Keji."

Shepard smiled. "Any time," she said. "Just remember, if you need anything. And I mean anything, you let me know."

Again Kasumi nodded. "I'll be fine."

The shuttle rocked a little.

"Must've just exited FTL," Shepard commented. She turned to Kasumi, who had gone to stare out one of the shuttles windows. "Kasumi would you be interested joining me for a drink?"

"Maybe later," Kasumi answered without looking at her. "I… need some time alone."

The shuttle soon docked with the Normandy and they went their separate ways, Shepard to the loft, Kasumi to the bar and her quarters.

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The silence that filled the bar was killing Kasumi. The picture on the wall by her bed reminded her that Keiji was gone. It was the way they had met, and now it was a memorial. She couldn't take it anymore. She got up from the couch that she had sat on for the past hour and made her way for the door. She cloaked as the door opened, and silently crept her way into the empty elevator. She punched the key for the top floor, the Commanders cabin. The ride was boring and way too long.

The doors parted and Kasumi fast walked over to the closed door and gently knocked.

"Shepard?" she queried. "Are you in there?"

Silence answered her. "Hello? Shep are you in there?"

EDI's blue orb materialized on the pedestal near the door. Kasumi jumped.

"Commander Shepard is currently not in the loft Miss Goto," the synthesized voice said.

Kasumi put a hand on her heart. "You scared the crap out of me EDI," she joked. "Next time beep or something to let me know your coming."

"Acknowledged Miss Goto, I will try your suggestion next time."

Kasumi shook her head. "It was a joke. Where is the Commander?"

EDI stayed silent for a second while she tracked down Shepard.

"The Commander is currently in the portside cargo hold. She gave explicit instructions not to be disturbedby any crewmembers until we arrive at our next destination."

Kasumi was already back in the elevator. She waved at the blue orb as the door closed. "Shep won't know I'm there."

She hit the button to take her to the bottom floor. This ride seemed to pass by in a blur. She cloaked before the door opened. Slowly she stuck her head out of the elevator and into the cavernous space. The portside cargo hold was filled with boxes full of extra cooking supplies and emergency rations. It also had several boxes of replacement parts for rifles, pistols, and shotguns. The coast seemed to be clear, so Kasumi stepped out of the lift. Its door closed quietly behind her and slowly went back up into the rest of the ship.

'If I were Shepard where would I be?' she wondered to herself.

A blue glow off to the right caught her attention. A small box hung aloft in the air several feet above the rest of the boxes. Its frame covered in a light blue. Until it was struck by a blue orb and flung across the hold.

'I'll try that way.'

Kasumi silently crept up to a box that was near the glows origin. Her eyes widened. In the center of a half circle of large boxes stood one Commander Shepard. Her body aglow from the scars that covered her body; on the right side of her neck a spider web pattern of orange, across the bridge of her nose a small sliver of light orange, and lastly a long splash of red ran down her left arm.

Shepard's body suddenly lit up in a blue flame. Her biotics sending ripples out across the hold. Kasumi could feel it from where she hid, several feet away. She watched as Shepard created five blue spheres of energy around herself. She reached down to her belt. She grabbed her Balisong and flipped it open with the precision of a sniper. Next she inverted her grip so the blade was pointing down to the deck. She took on a basic warrior stance, ready for an assault.

The orbs launched at her like bullets. With moves that Kasumi could barely follow she sliced one in half, whilst ducking below the trajectories of two others. One shot high into the sky, and then dove straight down on top of her. Shepard side stepped the attack, then brought her foot down on the orb. It exploded outwards like a wave, pushing the box that Kasumi was hiding beside a few inches. The three remaining orbs launched a relentless assault, forcing Shepard into difficult blocks and counters. Kasumi watched in awe as the practice seemed to come to a climax.

Two orbs flew evenly at Shepard. She dove over them. She rolled and met the last orb, slicing it in half with her knife. The two circled around, intent on hitting her from two sides. Shepard breathed slowly, calming herself. Just as the orbs neared she brought her right foot up to block one, whilst extending her entire body to stab the other. The stabbed sphere exploded, causing Kasumi's hiding spot to move a little more than she thought it could. It knocked her over, causing her belt to clank on the floor. She froze.

'Maybe she didn't hear it?' she thought.

Something flew into the box next to Kasumi's head. She looked to see what it might be. It was A Balisong buried into the box, up to its green handle. 'Uh-oh.'

"What're you doing here Kasumi?" a voice demanded. It sounded too close to be Shepard, who was across the way.

Kasumi looked to see who it might be. Her heart skipped a beat.

'I'm so dead.' it was Shepard.

The Commander looked down at her, the cybernetics in her green eyes burned as red as lava. The look was almost animal in nature.

"I was looking for you Shep," Kasumi gulped. "I was kind of hoping your offer for a drink was still open. Sorry I was eavesdropping. "

Shepard's implants faded. The almost animal look disappeared.

"Don't worry about it," Shepard said. The sharpness from before was gone, replaced by the usual controlled voice that she used. "And the offer is always open. Although you could have just waited in your room, since I was going to stop by after this."

She gestured to the area behind her. Pieces of boxes littered the area. Like a massacre had just taken place.

"I couldn't stay in there forever," Kasumi said. The picture flashed in her mind, followed by Keji. "Why do you do this? Surely the cook doesn't like his supplies being destroyed."

Shepard chuckled. "There are enough supplies in here to supply a dreadnoughts mess hall, so he won't even notice a few boxes are gone."

She offered Kasumi a hand, which she immediately took.

"As for why I do this," she said as she helped Kasumi up. "It's… to help keep my biotics strong, and keep my knife technique loose."

Shepard reached down and jerked her knife out of the box it had imbedded into. She flipped it closed with ease and speed. Kasumi watched the blade disappear into the handle.

'She makes that look easy,' she thought. 'If I tried, I'd probably lose a finger.'

Her eyes noticed the scar on her left arm. It was still a dark red.

"I didn't see that earlier," she pointed at the mark. "How did you get it, if you don't mind me asking?"

Shepard grabbed her arm, and stared into the distance.

"That," she began. Her voice shallow almost lost in the cavernous room. "Is a story for another time."

"Bad memories," Kasumi brought her hands up in front of her in a mock surrender. "I understand. You don't have to say another word."

Shepard opened her mouth to reply.

"Commander," EDI interrupted over the intercom. "We have arrived at Omega. Docking procedures are underway."

Shepard sighed. "Got it EDI, tell Mordin to meet me by the airlock."

"Understood Commander," EDI replied.

"Well there goes the fun," Kasumi joked. "Looks like that drink will have to wait till you get back Shep."

Shepard smiled. "It can wait till we get back," Kasumi looked at her with confusion. "What? Did you expect me to take one of those crazy Cerberus fanatics along? I need a reliable squad mate to help get Archangel out of the hole he's dug himself. Someone I can trust."

Kasumi laughed and shook her head. "I'll go get my things then . But trusting a thief is usually a bad idea Shep."

Shepard laughed with her. "Good thing I don't trust just any thief. I trust the best."

They both laughed their way to the elevator. As the doors closed Kasumi asked.

"How did you sneak up on me without making a noise?"

Shepard grinned. "Because I'm a ninja."

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Author's Note: Well there it is. Let me know what you guys think. Next chapter is full of action and explosions. In case anyone was wondering, I plan on doing a chapter on a few of the recruitment missions. Only the ones that I feel can help flush out Shepard's character because of the choices required in those missions. I plan on focusing mostly on DLC missions, made up places that I intend to send the crew to, loyalty missions, and time on the ship. Review subscribe, etc.

And unleash chaos!