Bella

Um... wow.

I wanted Edward Cullen to do terrible things to me.... or vise versa.

The kid was good looking the way male models are. Beautiful and delicate, yet strong and powerful.

Fuck me Jesus, I sound like smutty romance novel.

I wiggled my ass around uncomfortably on the hard cement behind one of the portables. I was alone of course, I didn't want to go and see this Emmett just yet... I had to prepare myself.

And preparing myself concerned smoking a cigarette for lunch.

There was no rain today. A sign? Maybe, but probably not. I was going to have to walk through the cafeteria of judging teenagers and try to find who this fucking Emmett was. What the hell is 'you'll know who we are' supposed to mean? Did they have like raging genital herpes? Cold sores covering every inch of their mouths?

I sighed as I stubbed out the hardly dragged on cigarette into the pebbly concrete beside me. I rose slowly to me feet, wiping the dust from my ass and smoothing my skirt down.

Rule one when coming to a new school?

Show leg.

I walked down the almost empty halls, the only occupants long lines of freshmen sitting along the lockers. Their stares were almost worse than the ones I would surely endure in the cafeteria.

But I had perfected the art of ignoring and indifference.

I got to the large double doors of what I assumed was the cafeteria. I could hear the loud and boisterous talking and laughter seeping under the small crack of the dirty teal green door.

I took one deep cleansing breath and then pushed it open with my eyes closed. Trying to stop the inevitable by not looking? It would seem as though.

The cafeteria's noise level only faltered for a few short moments. I didn't open my eyes until I heard the noise resume to the previous volume.

When I did open my eyes, I saw table upon table filled with poorly dressed and mediocre looking teenagers. They were all eating more than they probably should have been.

Then my eyes stopped.

How could I not know who they were?

They were gorgeous, all four of them. No cold sores, no apparent genital herpes. Just smooth skin and shiny hair.

My legs moved forward before my brain told them too. My body was practically being pulled toward them. I wanted to tell myself to stop. That I didn't have to do this. They didn't know who I was, I could just... not talk to them. I didn't have to do this shit anymore. I could be normal.

But then no one would care about me. No one would care about me if I wasn't bouncing around on some guy's junk. No one would care about me if some guy didn't have to steal a couple fifties off his parents, hoping to God that they wouldn't notice. No one would care about me... if I wasn't getting rid of their awkward virginity so that they could please the girls that they loved a lot better.

Those thoughts, and those thoughts alone pushed me forward until I was standing in front of the table, two pairs of brown eyes and two pairs of blue eyes staring up at me expectantly.

"Um, hi. I'm Bella," I mumbled, blinking back tears, which just further lubricated me eyes, which just made everyone in front of me even more blurry.

"Oh, hi! So good to finally meet you! I'm Emmett and this is Rosalie, and Alice and Jasper..." I kind of tuned out for the rest of the conversation. Not sitting down, just nodding when they told me things.

Blow Jobs/ Hand Jobs: $100

Full On Intercourse: $200

Both: $250 - that's right, there's even package deals where sex is concerned.

"So... is everything um... in order?" Jasper asked, me. He was the cocky blonde with the southern drawl.

"Yeah, that sounds... fabulous," I put on the most warm and alluring smile I could. It felt fake to me even. I could feel the muscles beside my mouth protesting. It had been a while since I had smiled without sarcasm.

"Okay, well... I'll call you when I have a client. Here, take this pager. My number will pop up and then you can just call me. The clients do get kind of specific, and for an even bigger tip I would do what they say, for the most part." Emmett said, handing me a small black electronic thing, it felt cold and hard in my hand. It kind of fit the whole personality of everything.

"Unless you're uncomfortable with anything that is!" Alice, the chipper bouncing short one informed me quickly. Her smile was huge, like a billboard showing me how to be happy.

"Right... and how much do you guys get in return... like a percent?" I asked, I was careful when I asked, I didn't want to upset any high school pimps.

"They don't get anything. They're just like us. We get to keep all the money we make," The stunning blonde Rosalie told me, picking at her salad with a cheaply made plastic fork.

"Really?" I asked with slight disbelief. It never really occurred to me that girls would actually pay for sex... but looking around at the girls that sat awkwardly in their over sized empire wasted tops and their jeans with high spandex content, it wasn't that hard to believe.

"Yeah, someone's got to eat a bitch out now and again," Jasper smiled, picking nonexistent stuff out of his left bicuspid.

Ha. I might just get used to this.

Edward

If you dragged your pencil across the slightly textured paper just the right way, you could ghost over all the indents and see the pulp perfectly.

Worlds little imperfections.

Think about it. Nothing will every be perfectly smooth, have no texture, have no feel. Even with out highly desensitized fingertips you could feel the bumps and rises of the seemingly flawless faux wood laminate.

I was sitting alone in the library... well, mostly alone. Lauren and Jessica were on either side of me, talking about texting or something and I was pretending to be even a little interested.

"She is such a total slut. Like I mean, did you see how short her effing skirt was? And that hair!"

"Ugh, I know right? The girl needs to get a flipping tan and fast. She's not a vampire or some shit!"

It doesn't really matter who said what, I could barely distinguish one nasally high pitched voice from the other.

"Who are you guys talking about?" I asked, trying to keep up the listening facade. I couldn't really care less, those girls hated people like Hitler hated racial equality.

"Isabella Swan. I mean, she cannot get away with makeup like that, I'm the only one who can pull that look off," Jessica said, flipping her fried and died hair over her shoulder and glaring ahead. If that was her doing her makeup well, then I dreaded to see her on an off day. I looked up from my now vandalized copy of The Catcher in The Rye (an awesome book, no matter what Isabella Swan says), and Bella was indeed there, looking at the meager collection of literary classics.

Her shadow stretched perfectly over the rows of books, all jagged and shorter than reality because of the obstructions. I tried to stop staring at her shadow, I tried really hard. But it was like, so... beautiful. It may sound cliche, but her shadow was hypnotizing me. It was like I was under a trance.

Pretty messed up right?

"Edward! Earth to Edward!" Lauren waved her heavily perfumed hand in front of my face.

"Yeah?" I breathed out, finally taking my eyes away from her shadow, and looking back down at my book.

"You seemed like you were thinking really hard about something. Tell us what it was?" Lauren breathed, snaking her hand under the table and running it along the outside seem of my jeans, along my outer thigh.

"It was nothing. I have to go." I said, stuffing my stuff in my bag and getting out of that library like a bat out of hell. I had to stop thinking that every little thing about Bella Swan was beautiful. She wasn't beautiful. Not in the right way.

It seems kind of weird that I could think that, when two days after I would be seeing the most beautiful thing in my life. And Bella Swan was a huge part of it.

The last two periods were filled of overly bleached paper and strong smelling ink. Chalk dust and blinding overhead lights.

The car ride home, shoved in the backseat of Emmett's jeep, gradually having more and more space as people were dropped off.

Eventually it was just me and Emmett, trapped in a metal cocoon with the water beating relentlessly on the exterior. Trying to make me a passage to escape I'm sure.

"Edward?" I heard his voice rumble from the front seat, seeming to be carried back to me from the artificially heated air.

"Hmmm?" I mumbled, watching two raindrops commingle until they were one.

Definitely the most beautiful element.

"I was wondering... like have you changed your mind maybe? Because we stopped taking percentages and you always are talking about traveling to Europe... and you would have the money. And I'm not going to lie to you or me... you would bring in business..." Emmett looked back at me through the rear view mirror. His image, backward, than forward, than back ward again until his brown eyes were meeting mine through the fake dimension.

"Emmett, I honestly have no interest, but thanks for asking... again." It was relentless with him, morning, noon and night he was asking me to join the 'family business' as he called it. There was no lineage in this whole company.

Basically, him and his friends were horny, good looking, and wanted money.

A business was born.

"Yeah... I'll try you later." He said that every time, kind of grave and dreading it. Like I was a stubborn car door that wouldn't close properly or something. He would try to make me work later.

I had never heard him actually say it... or anyone for that matter, but I always had this feeling that everyone thought that I was slightly screwed up.

I had heard my mom telling her friend on the phone one day that I was so good looking, why didn't I have a girlfriend? Was I gay? Neutral? Why didn't I fit the same mold that Emmett did?

I'm not sure why, but none of that stuff really interested me.

Okay, this is going to sound really cocky... and like, ugly of me.... but no one was like, good enough for me... you know?

It was like I couldn't be satisfied with anything. When I thought I wanted something, or someone, something made me change my mind. I'd get freaked out, or be practically disgusted by it.

I seem more messed up as I tell this story, but whatever. Think what you wish.

The long stretch of man made rock dust that led up to our house seemed to go on for even longer than usual. I felt claustrophobic in that metal shell of a car. I wanted to float in the dirty... but some how pure lake water. I wanted to watch the rain drops make dents in the surface, I wanted to see the lightning light up all the imperfections on the whole beach.

As soon as Emmett stopped the car I hopped out and then turned back in the direction of the road, walking down the gravel path that I had just spent that entire time dreading walking up.

"Edward?" I heard Emmett half ask, half yell.

I didn't turn around. Just kept walking, hoping that maybe someone would be at the beach. Someone that wanted things the way that I wanted them. Who wanted beauty, and nothing else. That wanted happiness and everything that went along with it.