The one with the Spider

Bucky grabbed a bag of groceries and slammed the car trunk shut. Sam, arms full, locked it. "Nat texted. Said she was stopping by later to drop off your jacket."

"Mmm."

They started up the stairs. The wind blew his hair into his mouth and Bucky tried in vain to spit it out. Sam, never the type to beat around the bush, continued. "I could give you her number."

"..."

"Then why give her your jacket?" Bucky forgot how much he disliked this side of Sam. He got very pushy when it came to things he wanted answers to. He was very good at guessing games too, which made him a dangerous opponent. Bucky plastered on a fake smile.

"Jealous?" He leaned against the door as Sam dug for his keys.

Sam snorted. "Heck no Boy. I've got a girl."

Bucky whistled. "You got with Agent Hill?"

Sam scowled. "Shut up." The lock clicked and he pushed the door open. They'd made it halfway in before they spotted the boy on the couch. He waved at them.

"Hi, guys. I'm Spiderman."

An uncomfortable beat. The kid looked like a walking Stark Universities merch store. His 'iron' laptop was decorated with science and spider stickers. His baggy shirt and sweatpants, more Stark merch, made him look like he just rolled out of bed.

"You got an actual name, kid?" Sam asked.

"Uhhhhh, Peter. Peter Parker."

Sam nodded like that explained everything. "Right, right." He raised his voice. "Steve, what is a teenager doing on my couch?"

"My couch." Bucky corrected.

"Relax…" Steve called from the bedroom. "Kid just wants to interview me."

The two looked at each other. What stupid thing had Steve done when he was gone? Clearly, Sam was unaware of it. "He wants to do what?"

"Ever heard of an informative interview? The kid wants to be a bounty hunter."

That explains a lot more. Bucky studied the kid. Dark hair and a baby face. His leg bounced with a nervous energy that translated into his animated facial expressions. He was like an overeager puppy. Or an active grenade.

Sam still didn't get it. "How did he find us?" He sounded a bit belligerent. Bucky wondered if a joke about Sam's love life could be worked into the moment.

Steve exited, shield in hand. "Stark sent him." That shut up Sam up.

Steve and Stark had an understanding. Steve helped Stark protect some of his business deals and in turn, Stark gave them this apartment. Bucky and Sam got in on it because they were Steve's associates. Part of that understanding meant that Stark required his associates to be treated like family. Which meant that they couldn't really refuse the kid anything.

Hopefully, Peter did not know about this. It might make him cocky.

The boy's eyes widened when he spotted the shield. "Whoa! Is that Vibranium?"

The Shield was part of the reason why Steve called himself 'Captain America'. It was a round red and blue circle that contained a white star in its center. It was kinda flashy for stealth missions, but the boost of speed it gave him made it worth it. It could ricochet off of objects and bounce back with added force. This was because of the Vibranium, which was a Metal known for its ability to store, absorb, and release kinetic energy.

Stark's father made it for Steve when they were kids. When Tony was 'Ironman' and before he became the new Mr. Stark. Bucky missed those days. Steve smiled more.

Steve nodded. "It was a gift."

Peter grabbed his phone and started snapping pictures of it. "Do you all have special weapons?"

"Sam has a drone."

"Her name is Red-Wing and she shoots missiles." Sam recovered himself and took the groceries to the kitchen. Bucky heaved his bags up and followed.

Peter's eyes lit up. "That's awesome! Can I see it?"

"No."

"But I-"

"No."

The kid gave up and looked at Bucky.

"Spiderman."

Now he got it. The kid wanted his call name to be Spiderman. Bucky snickered. "Spider-Man?"

"Spiders are scary," Peter said, defensive."No one laughs at the Black Widow."

"Black Widows eat their mates just because they can. Plus, she's one of the top bounty hunters." Bucky slipped a pack of gum into his pocket. Sam would steal it if he knew.

"Two spider call names? Is that even legal?" Sam tossed a bag of bagels into the bread drawer. He handed him a box of strawberry pop tarts. In case Thor visited. "I'll think he'll have to fight her for it."

"Guys…" Steve warned.

Sam opened the fridge and shoved their beverages inside. "Do you want a juice box kid?"

"Actually, a protein shake would be lovely, thanks."

If looks could kill, Parker would have been burnt to a crisp by now. "And where would I find that?"

"My assistant usually makes it! All organic, fresh ingredients. All you need is a blender." The kid grinned.

Steve hastily steered the conversation away as he sat down beside the kid. "What else do you want to talk about?"

Peter opened up a google doc on his laptop. "First I'd like to-is it okay to record you? Just voices? Okay, thanks- ask you about the basics of bounty hunting." He tapped a red button on his phone for what Bucky assumed was Voice Memos.

Steve balanced his shield on his knees. "Bounty Hunting requires a lot of research and patience to find your target. What you see on tv is just the grunt work, which needs a lot of stealth and quick thinking to pull off."

He held up two fingers. "There are two types of Bounty Hunting. Repossessing unpaid property like planes, boats, and fancy cars; or hunting down criminals who skipped town on bail. My team specializes in the former. We're given a target to retrieve and a few days to do it. If we succeed, we get half of what it's worth. If not, the job goes to someone else."

Peter balanced his laptop on his legs. "And the other one?"

"Petty criminals get released on bail and fail to show up to their court dates. A bounty hunter is sent to bring them back to the courthouse. They get rewarded with the bail money, which can get pretty high. These types of Bounty Hunters have more power than the police to make arrests because they don't have to read their Miranda Rights before handcuffing them."

"Barnes has done both." Sam volunteered. He'd finished with the groceries and now carried a cup of coffee. "He just got back from hunting down a group in Texas." He raised his eyebrows at him and took a sip. "I'm sure he'd love to tell you about it."

If this was about the cake….

"Just like on tv!?"

And of course, it was. Sam looked triumphant, sipping his coffee. Bucky squirmed under the attention.

"No," He said quietly. "A normal bounty hunter isn't allowed to rough up their targets or they don't get the money. Strike rewards their hunters whether the target is brought back dead or alive."

Peter's eyes got big. "You've killed people?! Is that how you got the metal arm?"

An awkward silence descended on the group.

"Was that on the list? Ohhhh, I wasn't supposed to ask that. Mr. Stark told me not to ask you about the arm or kill count or to imply that you'd kill people 'cause you'd hurt me, and he said it so fast…." Peter's voice trailed off. "Those that mean I have to die?" He blurted.

"Yes." Sam deadpanned.

Peter's eyes darted from Bucky to Steve and back again. "Haha. He's joking. Right?"

Bucky pointed. "There's a spider on your shoulder.

Peter screamed and scrambled over the couch. Sam jumped and spilled his coffee on his white shirt. Peter hit the ground with a thud. Steve covered his face and sighed. There was no spider.

"Is it gone?" A small voice asked from the floor.

Bucky changed his assessment of the boy from grenade to 'dummy' grenade.


Yes, I'm attempting to reference the Grenade scene in the first Captain America.

And I was trying to get the same animosity of the Mackie/Stan interviews when they roast Tom Holland.

Have a lovely day! ;)