Hi! First of all I would like to give a BIG thank you to everyone for the totally awesome reviews! I am completely shocked and humbled by all of your wonderful reviews! I didn't have a lot of time to get this out, but I wanted to get out something for you all since you have been showering me with love. I hope to get out another chapter later today so for now, I'll just go ahead and submit this one even though it's not as long as I had wanted it to be. I'm so pleased that you all are enjoying it. I know it's slow-paced right now but it's going to take some time for our beloved characters to come to terms with all that's happened and to get used to being around each other without the buffer of the group around them. Should be interesting...so stick around!
"They're all dead. Every last one."
Daryl's words echoed through her mind. She swallowed hard over her throat that was now incredibly dry. Thinking they were dead and actually knowing it were two very different things. Numbly she set back against her seat. His eyes followed her, his expression unreadable.
"I shouldn'ta blurted it out like that. I jus' thought ya should know. I couldn't save 'em. Was jus' too many..." He trailed off.
She nodded mutely as she focused on a tree off in the distance. The darkness was just beginning to fade as the day slowly came awake. She felt numb. One day had passed and her whole family was wiped from the face of this earth. All that she was left with were a baby that wasn't even hers and a man who had never uttered more than a paragraph to her since the first day they met. What was she supposed to do? How would they protect themselves against walkers or other people if it was just the three of them? How would they protect Judith?
She heard him groaning and he shifted in his seat. "Ya alright?" He asked.
She shook her head no. She didn't trust herself to speak. She just wanted to sit quietly and try to get her feelings under control. She just needed time. Judith began to babble in her seat but Beth barely heard her as she continued to stare straight ahead. She kept telling herself that she wasn't going to break down, that she would keep it all together. She could feel the emotions that she had tried to hold inside last night threaten to come crashing over her. She felt the first trickle of a tear slide down her face and she knew that she had lost the battle.
Daryl felt like he had been run over by a truck several times. His back was aching and he noticed that he was wearing a different shirt. He noticed all these things because he was trying to avoid looking at the girl next to him who was desperately trying not to cry. He wasn't sure what to do. He supposed he could place the blame on himself because of the way he had just blurted it out to her like he had. He really didn't know what possessed him to come right out and say it. He watched as one lone tear slid down her cheek as she stared out of the windshield of the vehicle. He was completely out of his element.
Glancing around at the floor, he picked up a relatively clean towel and held it out to her. Trembling slightly, she accepted it without looking at him and dabbed at her eyes. He didn't know what to say to her. He didn't do comfort. He really hoped that she could keep it together because he didn't think he was in the best shape to take care of them all but he would do the best that he could.
Then there was Judith. He didn't know much of anything about babies. He could hold them just fine and he knew they drank some kind of formula but beyond that he was lost. The reality of the whole situation struck him. They were alone. After everything that had happened, they were the ones who survived. It should have been Rick or somebody else, someone more capable of handling these types of situations. It shouldn't have been he who had survived. Why was he the only one to survive? He had fought alongside of all of them, just as hard as they had. It had been hard to keep up with everyone because of all of the people around. They hadn't anticipated the Governor having more people and it had basically been a massacre. He didn't think himself worthy of being able to walk away from all of that. It felt like somebody's bad idea of a joke.
Daryl Dixon was now left behind with a young girl and a baby. Neither one of who were in any condition to survive without him. Where was he supposed to take them? They couldn't go back to the prison. It was too big for three people to maintain. They would have to find someplace new to settle down. He sat up stiffly in his seat and winced at the soreness that radiated through him. He didn't have time to rest. They had to get somewhere more secure. They were sitting ducks if a herd came through and Judith started crying. They couldn't live in a vehicle.
He pulled a map out of the glove compartment and spread it open on his lap. He pinpointed their location, or what he believed close enough to it, and then began to trace his finger along the routes to other towns. They probably needed to travel quite a way to find somewhere that hadn't been picked over for supplies. He sighed and looked back over to Beth, who had thankfully managed to pull herself together.
He cleared his throat. "We gotta get on tha road. I figure we gon' have ta travel 'bout all day ta find a spot ta bed down in. We still got that full tank of gas right?" He asked. She nodded. "Ya okay ta drive or ya want me ta do it?"
She shook her head, "No, I'm okay. You should rest. Your back was pretty bad," She said softly.
Daryl winced. So she had looked at his back. He wondered what she had thought of his other scars. Surely she had to have seen them. They were impossible to hide and he had never let anyone get close enough to see them. He reached his arm gingerly around his back to feel.
"Don't! You've got stitches back there and it needs to heal. You shouldn't try to touch it," She said. "You've got to take it easy for a while."
"Ain't got no time ta take it easy. Too much ta do," He replied.
She reached around into the back and found some toys for Judith to play with. She also handed the little girl some crackers to gum on for the drive. The little girl gave her a toothless grin as she drooled over the cracker. She turned to Daryl, "Now is not the time to be stubborn. If you pull those stitches out, then it will take you that much longer to heal."
"An' who's gonna take care o' us if walkers come? You an' Judith?" He snapped as she pulled the suv onto the road.
She flinched, "I did learn some things while we were training. I don't think I'm completely useless, but thanks for letting me know that you do."
He could hear the hurt in her voce and he felt bad for snapping at her. He knew she must be going through a lot. They were all going through a lot. Only Judith was oblivious to what had happened. The child would never know her dad or brother and all that they had sacrificed for her. She was technically an orphan.
Daryl's head hurt. It was a hell of a situation that they were in for sure. He owed it to the group and to Rick to take care of the two girls though. Rick would have wanted that and he couldn't let himself let Rick down. He swallowed hard as Beth concentrated on driving. Rick had become like a brother to him, filling the void in a way that his brother had never done.
Then there was Carol. After all that she had been through with Ed and then losing Sophia, he had let her down. He had been more comfortable with her than with anyone else. She was the only one he would accept teasing from. She had been his friend, something that he had never had. The faces of the group all haunted him and he felt their deaths weighing heavily on his mind.
"I didn't mean ta say ya was useless," He said suddenly. He watched her grip tighten on the wheel, the only indication that she had heard him. He continued on, "Ya ain't useless. I'm jus' lashing out at ya an' I shouldn't have."
"Thanks," She replied softly.
He nodded. "I s'pose we all got some adjustments ta make since we our own lil' group now."
"I suppose that we do," She agreed.
"First things first. We get somewhere safe. Somewhere stable. Then we work on trainin' ya," He said.
She bit down on her lip. "I'll do the best that I can," She paused. "I'm really sorry that you're stuck with us," Her lip trembled and his hand shot out to grab the wheel as she lost control of the vehicle slightly.
"Maybe ya should pull over an' let me drive," He suggested softly.
She nodded and came to stop, stepping out of the vehicle and trading places with him. It took him a few minutes to get his body to cooperate and make it to the driver's seat. He felt a little light-headed and he stood a moment by the door, trying to stop the dizzy feeling that had come over him. After several seconds and deep breaths, he eased into the seat and began to drive. His whole body was protesting even the smallest movements such as navigating the steering wheel but he overlooked them. After several minutes of silence he glanced around the vehicle to find them both sleeping, Judith with her mouth slightly open, drool dribbling down her chin and Beth curled up in a ball on her seat. Even though Beth's eyes were closed, he could still see the exhaustion in them.
He sighed. This was their life now. He just hoped they could figure out a way to make it work.
