A/n: First of all the rating has been bumped up to M for scenes in this chapter. Second, I thought we, the authors, would try to address some reviews.

Zeelthor to Anonymous: What do you mean parody? 0.o You may consider it whatever ya fancy, mate, and to read or not read, as you please.

Nuscorpii to The-Mrning-Star: We are truly grateful for your wonderful review. It is reviews like this that makes us keep wanna writing more. It's very annoying when we spend so much time and hard work writing and all we get are critiques. I mean, who really wants those? All we want is more, or moar, or any variation thereof.

Basium1 to Lord Grise: Who even reeds the "X-Men comic book"?

Halt to Azdoine: We are unsure what you have against Torchwick being a good guy. It's obvious from watching RWBY that Torchwick was the real protagonist of the show, and his death in Season 3 marks the end of the show itself. RIP Torchwick, Never Forget.


They were standing in front of a large courtyard that had clearly been carved out of the rock and polished smooth, with veins of marble sparkling here and there. A large swimming pool was set in the middle of the area, with chairs and parasols around it, and the smell of barbecue wafted through the air.

She noticed a young man in a maroon uniform hurrying away deeper into the castle and tracked his progress until she spotted someone else. Someone familiar. Sorta.

On a little floaty plastic mattress in the middle of the pool, donning a black skimpy bikini and holding a fruity looking drink in one land, was Cinder.

Her hair was long and black as the darkest hours of the night, her eyes an eerie glowing amber and she was built with the lean grace of a panther.

Weiss rounded on Torchwick. "You! I am glad we spared no expenses acquiring your services. It was clearly worth every single lien."

Torchwick gave an exaggerated bow. "Glad to be of service, my lady."

Ruby looked up to find Cinder observing her, shades sliding down half an inch down her nose to expose a raised eyebrow. A small smirk twitched at the corner of her mouth.

Weiss gave Torchwick a look of pure disgust, hands at her hip in her most Weissiest way.

"You said you knew her so go talk to her!" Ruby said to Torchwick, then lowered her voice and continued. "Before Yang does."

Torchwick stepped forward with a dramatic sigh.

"Cinder, dear," he said. "How nice to see you again. Looking lovely as ever, I see." Torchwick strutted forward and offered his hand from the edge of the pool.

With a smirk she held her hand out for him to take. Torchwick leaned further in and grabbed it, avoiding looking at her prominent cleavage like a proper gentleman. Ruby wasn't sure how he managed that, 'cos she sure didn't.

"You got me?" she purred, her tone sensuous, earning an obvious set of head bobs that barely counted as nods. "Good."

"Whoa!" It was all that came out of his mouth before she yanked at his hand and pulled him, pimp-cane and all, down into the pool.

"Even your splashes are small." The dark haired beauty giggled and took two strong, elegant back strokes to the steps of the pool.

Cinder emerged from the water like the mermaid out of the story books, looking every bit as seductive and dangerous too. Droplets of water trickled their way down along her skin in a loving caress and had the fabric of her bikini stretched taut along her curves.

She shook her head left and right, dark locks fanning out in a wild, gorgeous mane that remained silky and shiny despite the chlorine - way unfair - and her hips swayed hypnotically as she approached, drawing all of their gazes.

Yang leered. "Damn, babe, you're hot!"

Ruby failed to hide the slight blush that crept up her cheeks. Cinder really was quite hot.

"You are such a pig, Yang," Weiss muttered.

Cinder walked past Yang, running a single finger up along her throat to her chin.

"I know, dear. Now be quiet while the adults have a little chat."

She walked past the group, paying them no heed, settling on her haunches by the poolside,

"Torchwick! Which rich fool have you ingratiated yourself with this time?"

The thief stood in the pool and leaned back against the edge, seemingly without a care in the world. He turned to look at Cinder over his shoulder.

"Arctis Schnee," he said. "He wanted to find you to discuss the matter of succession… among other things."

Cinder's tone betrayed nothing, though there was a certain tenseness to her now, a slight, but sure shift in mood. "Does he now?"

They exchanged a look that seemed to convey a lot of words without any ever actually being spoken.

Ruby walked over to them, each step hesitant. "Hey big sis!" she said.

Cinder held up a single finger in a gesture of warning to Torchwick and accomplished what nobody else ever had. The man shut up. She turned towards Ruby, head tilted sideways.

"Sister?"

"Um… yes? I mean, we're half sisters, because we have different moms, but the same dad, I think, and I didn't even know you existed till a few days ago, so…"

Cinder raised an eyebrow. Yang came up beside Ruby and threw one arm around her shoulder.

"What the little dummy is trying to say is: She's happy to meet you!"

"Well, isn't that lovely?" Torchwick said, pushing himself up out of the pool. "Shall we get things back on topic and save the group hugs for later?"

"I cannot believe I'm saying this, but he does have a point," Weiss said with a scowl. "We should leave immediately."

"And why, pray tell, should I go anywhere?" Cinder asked.

"Because we're asking really nicely?" Yang tried. "And uh - we need your help."

Cinder stared at her, eyes shining with uncomfortable intensity. Then, after several moments of silence, said, "Very well. I was rather bored here in any case. Where to?"

"Casa Schnee," Torchwick said, with an elaborate flourish of his hat. "After you, ladies."

"Excuse me," said a pompous voice from behind them. The young man who had run off earlier had returned with another, middle-age man with a comb-over, an expensive, ill-fitting suit. "Miss Fall," he continued, wheezing slightly. "It seems there has been some damage done to the property. I must insist that your… friends pay for the damages caused."

Cinder rolled her eyes and walked off.

The manager blinked and turned on Weiss.

Weiss crinkled her nose in distaste and followed Cinder.

"Now hear, young lady. You can't just kick down the door and not-"

He rounded on Torchwick, who hooked a thumb in Yang's direction.

"Ask the bombshell. She's the one you want."

"Hell no!" Yang said, pushing past both men.

Blake stepped forward and plucked the notepad the man carried in his breast pocket. She looked around to make sure nobody was watching and then scribbled down Torchwick's full name and scroll number, winked, and stuck the notepad back into his pocket.

"Shall we?"

Ruby nodded and Blake hooked her arm around Ruby's and led her out of the resort.


"I hereby call this meeting into order."

"No you don't, Torchwick," Weiss said through clench teeth. "You sit in the corner, without speaking, until spoken to."

They had all crowded into her father's office again.

"Good, you're all here," Arctis said, walking into the office and settling into his chair behind the desk. "I see you were successful."

Cinder, who had stood leaned up against the wall in the corner, being all sultry and mysterious, stepped forward and walked up to the center of the room.

"No thanks to that doofus," Yang said, glaring at Torchwick.

"Hey, I take offense at-"

"At any rate," Arctis continued, talking across him. "I would like to welcome you to to Atlas, Miss Fall. We have some business to take care of."

"So I've been told," Cinder said.

"I'll get right to the point," the Schnee patriarch said. "We need your blessing to legally proceed with Ruby's and Weiss' wedding."

He took out a folder and flipped it open, revealing a legal document of some sort.

"Please sign here, here and… here."

Cinder didn't move.

"Before I sign anything, I want to know what's going on."

"Long story short," Yang said. "Prophecy. Ruby and Weiss gotta tie the knot or they die, so you're either going to sign that now or after I've punched you a bit."

Cinder's teeth flashed in a grin and she turned to fully face Yang. "I'm not about to let our sister die, but I would like to see you try."

Yang took a step but Blake put a hand out to stop her. "Don't let her goad you."

"Fine, fine," Yang complained. "I'll play nice for now."

"I will sign," Cinder said. "But in doing so, I will make enemies. I will need your assurance that I will have you in my corner, if it comes to that."

"What kind of enemies?" Weiss said.

"The bad kind."

"Aren't all enemies kinda bad?" Ruby wondered.

Yang shrugged. "Well, there's Torchwick."

"That's what I was saying."

"You have my word," Arctis said, holding out an old fashioned fountain pen to Cinder. "Now, please sign."

Cinder considered him intently for a moment, then accepted the pen and scribbled her initial on the parchment.

"Oh goodie! Now that that's done, let's go shopping." Yang said.

Blake groaned. "Again?"

"Yup!"


"How long is this going to take again?!" Ruby moaned, as if in actual physical pain, as her friends started up… again!

"Until we find the perfect dress," Yang said, examining a dress so skimpy it made Ruby consider running for the door.

They were in one of the premier wedding dress stores in Atlas and, according to Weiss, in all of Remnant. The moment Weiss had shown up, they had been shown to the executive changing rooms, which was the size of their old dorm at Beacon.

"White is traditional," Weiss insisted. Again.

"It's hardly a traditional wedding, though," Blake said, barely visible behind her book.

"This is the one," Cinder said over her own choice, earning a glare from Yang.

"No, this one is!" Both women held their dresses up in front of Ruby, shoving their choices in her face, "Which is better?"

They all stared expectantly at Ruby, who shrank in on herself under the weight of their gazes.

"White would look real pretty on Weiss," she squeaked. "And that's kinda important, right? Cos the bridesmaids aren't supposed to look prettier than the bride and all."

"That might be a problem, sis," Yang said with a wide grin.

Weiss gave her a withering look.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, I'm just saying," Yang said, twirling on the spot with a knowing smirk.

"You're an eight, at best," Weiss said.

Cinder inclined her head in agreement.

"Um… Guys," Ruby said. "Maybe we shouldn't-"

"AN EIGHT!?" Golden locks began to smoke.

"That's with make-up," Cinder added.

Yang's glare shifted from both of them in turn. Then she withdrew her wallet and with a theatrical "oopsie" dropped it to the ground. A dramatic pause, and she bent over to pick it up.

On the street outside, a guy walked into a pole with a hollow 'thunk'.

The girls just stared. Blake's book slipped out of her slackened fingers and onto the floor.

Yang nodded in satisfaction.

"I think that proves my point."

"It proves that you have impressive… Assets," Weiss said, glaring at said assets. "But Ruby's are better."

"What?" Ruby and Yang exclaimed at the same time, with varying levels of intensity… and volume.

Judging by Yang's tone and the heat literally rolling off her in waves, things were about to escalate. She needed something to ease the tension.

"How about you compare and we settle the matter once and for all?" Blake said.

Something that wasn't that.

"Fine," Yang said immediately. "I'm game."

"I'd be amenable to an impartial judge in the assessment if you are." Weiss said.

"A thorough assessment," Blake interjected.

"Umm... don't I get a say in this?" Ruby asked.

"We're all girls here," Blake said softly. She already had a notepad out and was scribbling furiously.

Ruby felt heat creep up her neck and settle in a flush at her cheeks.

"Okay, I guess…"

"How do we do this?" Weiss asked.

"Quite simple," Blake said. "We'll do this in three stages, one for each category..."

"Categories?" Yang asked, eyebrows rising.

"Yes. Cup size, perkiness and feel. Things like that."

"Feel!" Ruby squeaked. "What do you mean feel?"

Yang held out both hands in front of Ruby's chest, waggling her fingers in a demonstrative fashion.

"Well, the feel is an important part of overall assessment," Blake replied.

"My turn!" Yang cut her off, already having unbuttoned her coat and dug her fingers underneath the hem of her tank top. "I'll go first!"

"Wait, wait!" Ruby said.

The underside of Yang's bra already peeked out from under her top by the time she complied.

"What's up, sis?"

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Ruby fidgeted with the hem of her dress. "You don't have to."

Yang laughed. "Yeah, 'course."

Ruby looked around. Weiss shrugged, but the corner of her mouth was twitching up into a shy smile. Cinder… Had apparently left at some point, without any of them noticing.

She pulled the top over her head and threw it at Blake. Blake caught the top.

"I'll treasure this," she said with a perfectly straight face.

Yang shrugged and took off her bra, throwing it as well. "You can keep this too!"

"Oh. Oh my," Weiss murmured as Yang's bra fell to the ground.

Her breasts were fabulous. There was no other analogy that could possibly apply because the sheer awesomeness. They were reminiscent of an extra large scoop of honeydew ice cream - round and large, and sorta lickable.

"Nice, huh?" Yang said, arching her back with a downright dirty grin.

Ruby hid her face in her hands.

Yang walked up to her and gave her a hug, which was more uncomfortable than comforting under the circumstances..

"Umm… I guess I can't compete with that, but it's my turn, isn't it?"

Yang put a finger under her chin, nudging her gaze up from the ground.

"You're beautiful, okay? Maybe not quite as hot as big sis, but still plenty hot. Don't you worry."

Ruby nodded. Her fingers trembled as she undid the buckle of her cape, letting the soft red cloth flow to the ground. She paused for a moment and drew a nervous breath before going for the complicated set of straps and strings keeping her corset in place. Slowly, with shaky fingers, she tugged the knot that kept them together.

"Get on with it," Weiss said, brimming with impatience.

Ruby glared at Weiss, but couldn't hold it for long. "Umm... okay."

She looked down, took a deep breath and quickly unhooked her bra.

There was a collective intake of breaths as the garment fell to the floor, followed by an awed silence.

"Lucky you, Weiss," Blake said as Ruby's breasts finished their jiggling several long moments later.

"So… uh..." Ruby said. "What now?"

"Now we compare," Blake supplied. "Well, you two compare, and we come to a decision."

"I think what she's asking is 'how'," Yang said.

Blake rubbed her hands together and grinned.

"Just leave that to me."

Blake walked over to them, one measured step at a time, hips swaying in a fashion that might have been tantalizing for anyone behind her. The drool running down Weiss' chin suggested that it probably was.

Blake put one hand on Ruby's shoulder, then one on Yang's, nudging them forward until they stood front to front, pressing their breasts together. She took a step back, and stood there for a moment, a glassy sheen to her eyes.

Next she made them both face her, touching each of them in turn, being very thorough in her examination. Finally, she stepped back, and said.

"Uh… I don't know. I think it's a tie. We may have to go to the elimination round or something. Unless you'd-"

"No, no, that's…" Weiss' cheeks were spotted with pink. "Blake is completely correct. It is definitely a tie."

"It doesn't hurt to be sure, I guess?" Ruby said softly, looking down. "But if I'm gonna be naked so are all of you.

"And I'm going to prove once and for all, that I'm the hottest," Yang declared.

Weiss rolled her eyes.

"If I am a part of the competition you stand no chance."

"I'll believe that when I see it, snowcone."

Weiss snarled something incoherent and began to pull her own clothes off with unnecessary aggression, each garment thrown aside to bare pale skin flushed red with anger. She tugged at the sides of her underwear, clearly about to pull them down when the door to the changing room was pushed open.

Cinder stood there, staring.

"I was gone for less than half an hour. What the fuck?"


"Ohmygosh you look so pretty!" Yang squealed when Ruby walked out the bedroom, changed and ready.

She made to walk up and wrap Ruby in one of her Bear Hugs, trademark pending, but stopped herself, and instead gently pushed the veil hanging across Ruby's face aside, running a finger along her cheek.

"Do you feel ready?" She asked.

Ruby didn't. She so didn't. She still wasn't sure if she was going to keep her lunch down or break down and start crying, she was so nervous.

"I… I don't know. I wanna do it but... It's scary, you know?"

Yang wrapped her up in a gentle hug, creased be damned.

"I know but it'll get better and Weiss is going to be nice to you or I'm kicking her skinny ass down every single staircase at Beacon."

"Thanks, sis."

The music started up outside of the door.

"It's time," Yang said, taking Ruby's hand in hers. "Don't worry. Tonight, you'll get to bang Weiss."


Ruby flushed and looked around at the swan ice statues that struck various poses throughout the room. There was even a lovely statue of a nevermore with wings spread over the altar.

Weiss had insisted.

The only thing that wasn't white in the room was the plush, red carpet that glittered like snow, only bloody. Weiss stepped out with her father, managing to overshadow everyone in the room.

Weiss had insisted.

Ruby couldn't resist the smile that tugged at her lips when they made eye contact. Weiss was blushing! Her lips were red with lipstick, although Ruby would swear on her scythe that Weiss didn't need it.

But she had insisted.

The way that the the dress she wore flowed around her, the way that she seemed to glide over the carpet… Ruby couldn't help but think of her as a glacier gliding over a blood red sea. The priest cleared his throat and Ruby realized she'd probably been staring. Oops.

"Dearly beloved," The old man serving as their priest began, "We are gathered here today to join this couple in matrimony…"

Ruby gave Weiss a shy smile and reached out, taking her gloved hands. Weiss's fingers shook but she still smiled back.

"Love is a funny thing," he said, smiling at both of them. "Often found where one might least expect it."

Weiss squeezed Ruby's hand. There was something really tender to the gesture and the look on her face. And the priest prattled on…

"But the love you share is evident for all those present here today and-"

There was a deafening explosion and the window above the altar was blasted inwards, shattering glass and ice everywhere. There were shouts and screams from the crowd as scores of ninjas, decked out from head to toe in black, descended from above with drawn swords.

Before Ruby could even react, the priest moved, pushing both her and Weiss down to the ground and turned around in one swoop, pulling out a crucifix shotgun from under his frock. He pointed the weapon at the intruders and pulled the trigger, shattering stone and ice as he send blast after blast at them.

The traditional doves had escaped and were fluttering around the church- And someone nudged Ruby sharply in the ribs, sharply bringing her back to reality.

"Uh. I do!"

Weiss and the priest both stared at her. Yang seemed to be trying to hide a smile.

"I'm afraid we haven't quite gotten to that part yet, Miss Rose," the priest said kindly. "Now… If anyone objects to this union, let them speak now or forever hold their-"

Somewhere at the back of the crowd a man cleared his throat loudly and obnoxiously.

Ruby craned her neck, trying to see, as a man stepped forward. His hair was grey but his face remained youthful. Ozpin.

"I'm afraid I have to step in here with a reminder," he said, eyes twinkling as he walked down the aisle. "That neither of the… Brides… Are of the age of majority and as such, should not be allowed to marry."

Arctis stepped in between Ozpin and them.

"You will find, Oz, that Atlesian Law works differently."

"Indeed," Ozpin said, still smiling. "In Atlas. In Vale, however, this union would not be recognized. Officially, of course."

Cinder rose from her seat at the front row and stalked up to Ozpin, amber eyes flashing.

"Hello there… Headmaster. It's been a long time since I last… Saw you."

Ozpin's smile twisted into something unpleasant for a short moment.

"Hello, my dear. I see you've finally stepped up to your responsibilities. We simply must catch up sometime."

They didn't speak any further but something was exchanged in the intense stare-off they had. Then Ozpin nodded cordially, turned on his heel, and walked off.

There was a moment's silence.

"Um, what just happened?" Ruby asked.

"I don't know," Weiss said. "Probably nothing to worry about."

She took a step forward, stripped the glove off her hand and touched Ruby's fever-hot cheek with her cool fingers.

"If you wouldn't mind getting on with it, sir," she said, looking sideways at the priest. "I'd like to kiss the bride."

"Ah. Yes. Weiss Schnee. Do you take Ruby Rose-?"

"I do."

"And Ruby Rose, do you-"

"Totally."

Weiss lips were cool and sweet. Sort of like a nice ice-lolly on a warm summer's day… And then Weiss' tongue darted forward and the kiss was suddenly way, way more awesome… And probably inappropriate. Ruby didn't care.

People cheered. Yang whooped loudly. Someone - probably Blake, wolf-whistled Ruby really wished she'd teach her that trick. Torchwick was bawling his eyes out into a handkerchief at the far back of the room.

"I hereby pronounce you wife and - uh - wife. You may uh - continue - to kiss the bride."


"Are you ready?"

Weiss sat in her - well, their - bed. She'd gotten undressed down to her underwear and had helped Ruby do the same. After that, though, she'd lost her nerve and now they sat there, staring at one another.

"Yeah," Ruby said. "Do you want me to get naked first or will you..?"

Weiss swallowed. "Uhm… Yes. I can do it. It's fine. Are you sure-?"

Ruby smiled and kissed her gently.

"Yeah. I'm sure."

Weiss gave a nervous smile and they kissed again. Weiss pulled back and reached behind her back and undid the clasps of her flirty, black bra and was just about to let it fall onto the sheets when-


"Sorry! I think I left something here."

Ruby turned around to see Blake and wondered when she'd come in. "Umm…"

The faunus girl seemed entirely unperturbed by what she'd walked in on, though.

"Oh. I guess I caught you at a bad time."

"You think?" Weiss asked acerbically. "What tipped you off?"

Blake shrugged. "It's been over an hour. I thought you'd be done by now." She gave Ruby a mildly concerned look. "Somebody's taught you about the birds and the bees, right?"

Ruby hadn't thought her face could go any redder without exploding, but she'd been wrong.

"Yeah. Yang told me… Though that was birds and bees, not two -" Ruby frowned. " Are we birds or bees, Weiss?"

Weiss looked completely lost. "Bird or… I - I don't know, Ruby! What does that matter? And why are you still here, Blake?"

"Well… You guys obviously need a hand here," Blake said. "Come here and I'll show you."


"Hey, have you guys seen Bla- Holy crap!" Yang stood wide-eyed in the open door, staring in. "Wow. I guess the carpet does match the drapes, eh Weiss?"

"Close the fucking door!" Weiss snarled.

Yang blinked, then she did as she'd been told. Without walking out first.

"Okay," she said, sounding a bit numb. "Oh, hey Blake. There you are. Why…?"

She looked like she'd seen a ghost. Both Ruby and Weiss were naked and Weiss had not seen fit to stop what she'd been doing… And her fingers were really soft, except for the callouses where she held Myrtenaster and that was just… Very awesome.

Blake sat in a chair at the foot of the bed, fully dressed, but also quite busy.

Some indeterminate amount of time later, the door once more slammed open and an irate Cinder appeared.

"It sounds like somebody is fucking dying in here - what are you doing!?" She stopped in her tracks and stared at their feats of sexual athleticism. She had to speak loudly to be heard over Weiss' cries.

"You all have issues."