"Castiel, are you still there?"
"Yeah."
"Then say somethinng. Please, I'm really worried about you."
"What do you want me to say, Anna? That I'm a fucking jackass? That I ruined my one chance with Dean, even if it just meant being friends?" Tomorrow is Monday, which means he has to go to school. Which means at some point he is going to have to see Dean, and that terrifies him. Castiel hasn't heard a word from him since the kiss. What's Dean going to do, what will he say? No, Dean won't humiliate him in front of everyone or even just between them. He's not the kind of guy. Worst, he won't say anything at all. And that just eats away at Castiel's guilt even more.
"Shit happens, and I'm sorry. I really am, Castiel. But you can't just lock yourself in your room forever and you know that."
"I do go out my room, just when I need essentials. Like to get food or to go pee."
"You know what I mean smartass" he can practically feel Anna roll her eyes from over the phone. She's right, and he knows that. But that doesn't change the fact that he did what he did. And nothing is going to fix that. "Tomorrow you are going to get your ass up bright and early and you're going to drive us to school. Like every morning. And we are going to go about the day like we always do. If he doesn't mention it, you don't either. Okay?"
He was too tired to fight back and if you get Anna going, she could argue forever. So he just agreed. "And Cas- Cas? I like the sound of that. I'm surprised I never thought of calling you that sooner, all these years wasted. Anyway, it's his loss. And I know it's a cliché thing to say, but it's true. If you weren't gay I would have hopped on that train way back when."
"GOOD NIGHT, ANNA."
"Seriously, Cas!"
"GOOD NIGHT." Castiel clicked the "end" button and threw his cell phone at the edge of the bed. That girl could be such a handful if she really wanted to be.
He flipped over to his side and read the time on the alarm clock, "11:30 pm". Crap, he has to be up by six and he is nowhere near tired. He keeps torturing himself by recapping the entire day with, Dean. All the things that went right and all the things he did wrong. He grabbed a pillow and stuffed his face with it.
'Turn off brain, turn off! Just go to sleep, I don't need this right now.'
~~~~
Granted, the day has dragged on and may have been the longest day Castiel has ever experienced, but it wasn't bad. It could have gone a lot worst, everything and everyone seems to be normal. Castiel started to finally relax until he heard a familiar voice call his name from the hallway behind him.
"Cassie, there you are!"
Fucking Raphael. Castiel stopped dead in his tracks and turned around to face him. But he was closer than he thought, so in a matter of seconds Raphael knocked his books to the ground and shoved him up against the lockers. Castiel shoved him back "hey asshat, the name is Castiel. Get it right or get out my fucking face every damn day! I'm tired of your shit."
Raphael inched his way to Castiel until he was so close, Castiel could feel his breath on his face. But Castiel didn't look away, he didn't even flinch. "Looks like someone grew a pair over the weekend." He leaned in to Castiel's ear and whispered "if I were you, I'd watch how you'd address me. Touch me again and I promise you, I'll make you regret it."
He pulled away and looked back from Castiel to his friends and laughed as the others followed along. "Punk ass kid, I knew it. See you around, Cassie." That's it. That was it. As Raphael turned around to leave, Castiel yanked on his shoulder and punched him right in the nose. Blood was quickly spewing everywhere. Raphael threw a few punches himself, but Castiel easily maneuvered out of the way for each one. Finally, Castiel gave him one last hit again to the nose, knocking him back into his friends.
Raphael stood there dumbstruck while cupping his nose to try and prevent it from bleeding out anymore. "Just because I didn't fight you back before, never meant Icouldn't. I hate fighting, but I'll be damned if I will ever let you use me as your personal punching bag again, Raphael. If you ever try and disrespect me again, I won't hold back. I promise you."
Raphael stood there and stared at Castiel for another long, solid minute before he and his friends finally walked away. Those who had been standing around and watching slowly left as well.
After a few more seconds, the hallway was empty. So Castiel bent over to pick up the rest of his books that scattered across the floor. All of a sudden, he heard someone clapping behind him. He assumed it was, Anna. She always had the worst timing when it came to her sense of humor. Except it wasn't. It was Dean.
"Saw the whole thing. I was about to jump in, but then you handled yourself pretty damn well. Gotta say, I'm kinda surprised you had that in you. Never would have expected that from you of all people."
Castiel cautiously stood up with his books in his hands. He quickly scanned over Dean while he squints his eyes. That's the first thing he was going to say to, Castiel? Really? What's his game? "Yeah well, I've always known how to fight. Just never really like to unless I had no other choice. I have two older brothers, Lucifer and Gabriel, who both knew a thing or two. So it was either learn fast or I was screwed, ya know?"
Dean curled his lip to a half smile as he chuckled, "yeah I do. I'm the same way with Sammy. Gotta be the one to teach them or else someone'll try and do it for you. And the second one never ends well. But ah, hey-" he pulls out a folded up sheet from his back pocket and handed it over to Castiel. "Got a 75 on my test. I know it's not all that great, but I ain't complaining. I didn't fail. I just... I just wanted to say thanks for you know, helping me out."
"Oh, it's nothing really. Congrats, you earned it, Dean."
"That's actually not all I wanted to talk to you about." Castiel averted his eyes to the ground and stuffed his free hand into it front pocket. He figured this would come up eventually.
"Dean, I-"
"Shut up, just... Please. Shut up. I don't want to talk about it here so I was gonna ask if you were busy today. Maybe after school you could swing by my place. But we do need to talk about this, Cas."
"Okay. I'll meet you there at around 3. Is that alright?"
"Yeah that's fine."
Dean began walking off in the other direction but Castiel quickly grabbed his wrist. Dean glanced from his wrist to Castiel, he felt the warmth rush flood to his cheeks as he retracted his hand back. "Dean, I'm really-"
He turned around and started to walk off again, he waved his hand to dismiss Castiel before he could finish "see you at 3."
~~~
Castiel straightened his shirt and ruffled his hair before he knocked on the door. "Dean, hey I'm - SHIT."
An old man was the one to greet him, with a rifle in his hand. He shouldn't scare the crap out of Castiel as much as he does. He's wearing a baseball cap, loose t-shirt and some faded pants. He looks like he hasn't shaved in weeks. A hand lowers the rifle and out pops Sam's head. "Bobby, we have talked about this. You can't keep greeting people by the door like this. Believe it or not, it scares the crap out of them."
"Safety first ya idjit."
"I get that, but you could at least not point it when you do open it. ANYWAY," he finally looks over at Castiel and gives him a small wave. "Hi, in Sam. And I see you've already met Bobby."
Bobby gave a little huff and what seems like a crack of a smile as he put the rifle behind the door. "Sorry we can't stay and chat that long, but Bobby and I have to go grab something at the mall for... Someone."
"For Christ sake boy, you can say her name. It ain't gonna kill ya. How do you plan on askin' her out if you're too embarrassed to even say her name?"
Sam shrugs his shoulders as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Well like I said, we gotta go. If you're here for Dean, he's inside. It's Cas, right? You helped Dean with his Chemistry?"
"Yeah."
"Cool. Well, nice to officially meet you, Cas."
What was all of that about? Did Dean tell Sam and Bobby? What is he getting himself into? He entered the house and the familiar smells of alcohol and musk filled his lungs, and for some reason, relaxing.
He was about to call out to Dean until he saw him sitting in the same room they were studying in the last time. His stomach tied in a knot as everything that happened started rushing in, all at once. Dean looked up and gave him a small strained smile. "Hey."
"Hey." Castiel took a seat by the desk as he folded his hands onto his lap.
"There's no point in beating around the bush so I guess I'll just jump right into it."
"Okay, makes sense. Look Dean I am so-"
Dean nodded his head and waved his hands to get him to stop. "No, let me go first. Let me say what I need to say first, Cas. Not a word until I'm done."
"Okay."
"I'm the quarter back of the football team and let's be honest, probably the most popular guy in school. I've slept around and kind of had a real thing with Lisa. But it was more of a friend with benefits thing than anything I guess you can say."
Castiel bit his bit lip as he clenched his hand into a fist, he wouldn't look at him. "Why are you telling me this? I feel bad enough..."
"Cas, I just said not even five minutes ago to no interrupt."
"Sorry."
"Like I was saying, I've had that. And- well-" Dean's leg was shaking and now it was his turn to look away to the floor. "Point is I've never had a kiss like that. I always thought a kiss was a kiss, ya know? I... felt something, Cas. And it was a nice something."
Castiel's head shoot right up. Did Dean really just say that? Did Dean freaken Winchester just tell him that? He didn't know what to expect when he came over today, but it sure as hell wasn't that. "But I thought you were..."
"I've always been curious, but I never had it in me to try with another guy. But there was never another guy worth trying it with, so I just dropped it. But, Cas. I was... I had to ask you something."
"Yeah, Dean?"
"Well, two things. First is, do you play for both teams, or just that one?"
"Just that one. Why?"
"Because I have always seen you with that chick, Anna and assumed you two were a thing."
"No, not even close. She's my best friend."
"Good, okay that's good." Dean let out his breath that Castiel didn't even notice he was holding in. Was he... jealous of, Anna?
"What's the other question?"
"Right, the second one. Would it ahhh... Would it be alright if... if I kissed you."
"You want to kiss me?"
"If that's okay."
Castiel couldn't form any words. He still wasn't even sure if this was a dream or not. All he could do was nod 'yes' . Dean slowly inched closer to Castiel, and only stopped before their lips touched. He looked at Castiel one more time, "you sure, Cas? You can still say no and I won't be mad. I promise."
"Just kiss me already." As soon as his words left his mouth, Deans lips was on his. Castiel always imagined kissing Dean would be rough, and quick. But it had been the most sweet, tender and slow kiss he's ever had.
It didn't take long for Castiel to get into the kiss too, until Dean finally pulled back. "Cas, that was perfect."
"You don't have to say that, Dean. You won't hurt my feelings."
Dean's hands found their way onto Castiel's knees, intertwining their hands together. "Cas, I'm serious. I never knew a kiss could be like that. Cas, I hate to ask another question but..."
"What is it, Dean?"
"Can I keep you?"
