Ranma 1/2: A cure for the curse

Chapter 03 – "Double Trouble: Duo of Death"

"Hello? Anyone home?" Called a voice from the front door.

[Oh my, we have a guest.] Kasumi carefully marked the book she had been reading, and placed it down on a small pile in the corner of the room.

Apparently she found she'd had a lot of spare time lately with little house work to be done, since there was only the two of them at home, she found she was able to catch up with all the books she'd been meaning to read, including the texts she'd borrowed from Doctor Tofu.

Unsure who the visitor was, Kasumi tidied up the room a little and straightened her dress before going to the front door.

"Hello again Missus Saotome!" Kasumi greeted her with a big smile, pleased to see the woman. "Won't you come in?"

"Arigatoo." Nodoka slipped her shoes off and followed Kasumi into the house, holding to her a cloth wrapped bundle and a large bag.

"Please take a seat," Kasumi offered. "I'll get us some tea."

At the sound of voices, Nabiki came down stairs to investigate who the visitor was. She looked on as the Saotome matron sat at the table as Kasumi went to get some tea.

Nodoka looked upon the middle Tendo daughter with a face of hopefulness. "Have Genma or Ranma returned from their mission?" She asked.

"Ah, yes and no," said Nabiki as she came and sat down at the table. "Mister Saotome and otousan left on a training trip over two weeks ago with their Master."

"Oh, dear." Nodoka held her hands to her cheeks. "That wouldn't happen to be... Ha... Hu..." She couldn't bring herself to say it, remembering the fear that Genma suffered from that name, and that saying it would only serve as drawing disaster to the speaker as lighting to an earthed metal rod.

"Happosai? Yes the one and only." Nabiki looked at the pale death like expression of doom on Nodoka's face. "There's no need to worry Missus Saotome, it's quite safe to use his name at the moment." [Occupied as he is elsewhere in the country at the moment, or maybe those two have somehow managed to pull a miracle and gotten him a one-way ticket to Timbuktu. Not that I have anything against the Africans mind you. Though the witch doctors... hmm something to research later?]

After Nodoka was able to settle down slightly, she remembered to ask. "And my dear Ranma? Where is he?"

"Oh, he and Akane went on a training trip together," said Kasumi as she brought a steaming pot of tea in on a tray. She placed out three cups and proceeded to pour.

Nabiki looked to her sister with veiled eyes. [Please keep out of this imouto. You may say something harmful.] "They've been gone about a week, so they should be back in another week hopefully." [At least I didn't have to lie to her this time. It's getting bad keeping track of all the fabricated stories I make up for Ranma. I'm going to *have* to start charging him for record keeping.]

"That's a pity," Nodoka said, sadness creeping into her voice. "I seem to have the worst timing." She brightened suddenly. "So it's just the three of you at home then?"

[Huh?] Nabiki thought.

Kasumi's ever-present smile was replaced by a slightly confused expression.

"Is Ranko around at the moment? I bought something for her." Nodoka lifted the bag she had from the floor, and laid it on the table next to her tea.

"Ranko?" Nabiki suddenly chilled. [Damn, I forgot about her. Training trip? No, too many of those, and... I know...] "Ah, she's gone home for a short while. She might come back, but we're not sure at the moment." [Damn that was close. I hope that covers it.]

"Do you mind if I look at what you got for Ranko?" Kasumi inquired.

"Not at all."

Nodoka unpacked the bag slowly.

"All those boys clothes she keeps wearing, I thought she might like some nice girls clothes."

"Ohh that's pretty," commented Kasumi as Nodoka laid out a floral dress with matching shoes.

"And I got her this..."

[Well Ranma can't blame me for this one.] At the sight of the very feminine dress, Nabiki smirked inwardly for a moment before her thoughts sobered as she looked at Nodoka. [She's going to be very disappointed if Ranko never ever comes back. I wonder if they really found that cure?]


Genma adjusted his glasses on his nose. "So Tendo-san, how do you think you're daughters are doing home alone with my son?"

Soun sighed, thinking of his three beautiful daughters. Kasumi and her ever present smile and cheerful personality, Nabiki and her calculating face always looking at the world in terms of profit and loss, and his youngest Akane, his baby and heir to the Tendo School of Anything Goes Martial Arts.

"I'm sure they are fine, and your son is treating them properly," he said with straight face, hiding his concern in front of his friend.

"As long as the boy's kept fed," Genma replied.

"Yes there is that, but Kasumi always makes sure of that, and if somehow she can't then I'd bet Akane would gladly cook for him."

Genma's stomach growled loudly. "Even I'd put up with Akane's cooking right now."

Soun leaned his head between two of the steel bars, feeling his stomach turn at the thought of food. "How did we get in this mess Saotome-san?"

"Well, you know the Master. He'll go on a panty-stealing spree in some town, and let us..."

"That's not what I mean Saotome-san," Soun spoke up a little too loudly, then calmed his voice. "I mean, how did all this begin?" He asked his long time friend. "How did we get stuck with the Master in the first place?"

Genma turned to his friend with concern. "You mean you can't remember Soun? That blow to your head must have addled your memory!"

"No, not at all. I remember a quite a bit from back then. I was just wondering how much you could remember."

"It's been a long time," Genma said, gazing thoughtfully around the jail cell they occupied. "I think some of the memories are a little fuzzy... we were just a little younger then our children are now. Fresh out of the orphanage because we were too old to stay any longer..."


Two young boys landed on their butts, their pants dragging up their legs as they slid along the ground until they came to a halt.

A young woman dressed in a short nurse's fuku with deep red eyes and brown hair tied up in two buns behind her nurse's hat, stood on the top steps of a large building brushing her palms together as if trying to clean them of some filth, except the effect made her amply endowed chest shake visibly underneath the fuku. She yelled angrily at the two boys. "And don't ever come back you brats. Or by Kami-sama, you're going to wish that I kicked your butts this time."

She turned about in a huff and marched back inside, closing the doors behind her.

"Jeeze," a younger Genma Saotome said, shaking his full head of hair as he tried to drag his trousers back out of his crotch where they'd gathered up.

Soun Tendo slowly lowered his eyes from the stairs, the last image of the young nurse in the clean white fuku starting to fade from his eyes. He sighed.

"Don't tell me you're still got something for Nurse Nanako?" Genma asked, helping his friend up.

"I... I think... I'm in love!"

Genma made a throat noise whilst sticking his finger in his mouth. "I don't understand what you see in that witch."

"She's and Angel in white," Soun said, his voice still sounding detached.

"Well if she's an Angel, then we definitely aint in paradise any more. I don't think they're going to let us back in... ever."

Soun sighed, brushing dust from his pants lightly. "Then I guess we're truly alone in this world now, with no food, no money."

Genma coughed. "I wouldn't quite say 'no money'."

Soun turned to his friend, and grabbed his shoulders. "Saotome-kun, you didn't... did you?"

"Umm... well." Genma couldn't quite admit it.

"You did steal the collection box money!"

"I was hungry, and they weren't feeding us enough in there!" Genma argued. "And besides, there wasn't much in the box anyhow."

"How much was there?"

"Only 1533 Yen."

"Well that should get us something to eat," Soun said looking about the street for someplace to eat.

"Except..." Genma said.

Soun turned back, afraid to hear the rest.

"I've spent most of it already."

Soun could only bury his face in his hands, "We're doomed!" He cried between his fingers.

Genma patted his emotional friend on the shoulder, whilst trying not to look like he was supporting him.

"Awww, look what we got here!" A voice said, from behind the two boys.

[Soun, you had to do that in the middle of the street didn't you?]

Genma took his hand from his friend as he slowly turned around to face the source of the voice, a voice that stood for pain, suffering, and torment.

"A couple of *girls*!" Keiji Hei said with laughter. Keiji's band of four boys stood arrayed out behind him, burst out in laughter together.

Genma stood silently fuming, as Soun half held him down with his hands whilst the group continued to laugh at them.

The laughter ceased when Keiji waved a hand.

"Bunch of lap dogs," Genma mumbled under his breath.

One of the boys stepped forward. "Who're you calling a dog, fat boy?"

Genma gave him an evil stare, which forced the boy to stumble back a little in fright.

"Hey Ichiyo, are you frightened of these girls?" Keiji called out.

"N... N..." Ichiyo stuttered, as he looked left and right to find the other boys not far behind him. "...No Sempai!"

"Maybe we should just go," Soun half whispered to his friend, then said a little louder for Keiji's benefit. "We don't want to start any trouble."

Keiji grinned, his lips turning up at the edges to become a snarl. "It's too late for that!"

The street became instant mayhem as the four boys and Keiji ran at the pair.

"Run!" Genma called, as he turned tail and sprinted for the nearest street corner.

Soun didn't hesitate, he was right behind his friend as they made a mad dash down the street, knocking over people, tripping over food stalls in their attempt to escape the beating they were sure to get if they stopped.

It was half an hour later that a panting Genma and Soun stopped, and leaned back against a wall to finally rest.

Genma turned his face up at the sewer grate when he heard a noise. He waited silently when a rat dropped to the bottom of the sewer pipe, landing with a splash before it surfaced.

A large sigh escaped Soun. "That was close. What do you call that move Saotome-kun?"

"I think I'll call it the Saotome Secret Technique number one," Genma huffed.

"You mean you have more?"

"Not yet. I thought it best to perfect this one first."

Soun chuckled. "Well it worked."

[Yes, but for how long?] Genma wondered. [We can't run from them forever. They'll catch us eventually, and give us a beating like last time.] Genma frowned. [And we won't have the orphanage to protect us anymore.] He spoke up. "I think it's time to pursue our dreams."

"Find some girls and get laid?" Soun asked.

"No, not those dreams!" Genma rolled his eyes. "Follow the way of the great fighters, and find someone to train us in the art."

"Oh, those dreams!" Soun rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "We're going to need more money too."

"Maybe we should head for Tokyo, I hear that if one is willing, there are jobs aplenty. We'll work hard, train hard, and eat plenty!"

"Now that sounds like a plan Saotome-kun!" Soun agreed, clapping him on the back.

It was on the outskirts of said city that Soun and Genma found themselves after trekking for days across the vast island of Honshu. The hustle and bustle of the metropolis seemed to waken something in them, and the smell of food wakened their stomachs.

"Let's say we go find something tasty to eat, eh Tendo-san?"

"Sounds like a marvellous idea."

Heading along the road towards the busier portions of the city, the sound of a disturbance caught their attention.

They stopped and watched as a small storm of people appeared down the street, headed in their direction. Over the clatter of feet was a single old whinny voice. "What a haul, what a *haul*!" It yelled.

Both Soun and Genma stopped at the edge of the road and stood stock still as a very short wrinkled old man hopped along the road with a green sack that looked to be at least six times his height slung over one shoulder as he flew down the road with stray pieces of clothing falling out as he was been pursued by a large group of girls, some in school fukus, others appearing in ordinary casual clothing, and quite a few in revealing swimsuits that looked to be still wet.

"What a haul!" The old man yelled as he bounded into the air over both the boys heads, as one such article of clothing slipped out of the bag, fluttering downward in a spiral.

"Uh," Soun said as something hit him in his face. "What just landed on me Saotome-kun?" He was half afraid to touch it, unsure what the old man had been carrying.

Genma eyed the white double-cupped brazier with a small edge of lace that had neatly landed on his friend's face with a critical eye. [Hmm. Not a bad size. Not as big as Nurse Nanako's though.] "Well, it looks like..."

Before he could finish his sentence, the group of girls that had been following, suddenly caught up and started pounding past, dragging up a small amount of dust, but not enough to obscure Genma's vision as a girl wearing a short grey school fuku stopped in front of the boys.

Whilst Soun couldn't see anything, Genma eyed the girl cautiously as she stood up on her toes and plucked the white underwear off of Soun's taller frame.

When Soun could see again, he found himself face to face with a vision of beauty, with long brown hair and deep brown eyes that seemed to call him.

Before he could even open his mouth, the girl bowed abruptly. "Gomen nasai," she said, and then took off down the street after the rest of the girls with stray article of clothing scrunched in one hand.

"What was that all about?" Genma asked aloud, as the dust trail disappeared down the street.

"I... don't know, but I think I'm in love," Soun replied.

Genma looked at his friend, and then shook his head.


"That was the day you met your wife," Genma said. "Your future wife," he added as he pulled up his legs into a crossed position on the one and only bed.

"Ahh, Kimiko." Soun let out a long sigh at the first memory. Slowly a tear formed and ran down his cheek.

"She was very pretty back then, possible more so than Nodoka, but I hadn't met her by then." [Though Nodoka has her own special qualities.] Genma continued, "It was because of that incident when we arrived in Tokyo, that we... or should say, you promised Kimiko that you would put a stop to the lecherous thief that was running around stealing girls' underwear. A task that you somehow got me to swear to also." Genma winced. [At the risk of getting a beating from a bunch of girls, including Kimiko herself.]

"With no training and no idea, we proceeded into the mother of all lions den's when we trapped the thief, and had our collective rears handed to us on a platter, served with roast chicken, crisp vegetables, endless supplies of ramen..."

Soun found himself suddenly drooling at the thought of food. When he realised he wasn't eating anything, he snapped himself out. He looked at Genma, who seemed to be stuck in a trance, as he made motions of shovelling air into his open mouth and chewing with great squishy sounds. Soun raised a closed fist and clobbered his friend over the head with it.

"Arigatoo Tendo-san," Genma said rubbing his head. "Where was I?"

"The Master whipped our asses until we were black and blue, and ready to go squealing all the way back to the orphanage like girls."

Genma raised an eyebrow for a moment, but decided to continue. "That was the day that everything changed for us. That was when I created the Saotome Secret Technique number two. We bent down low to the old man, and begged his forgiveness for following him and attempting to steal the underwear from him. For some reason he had it in his mind that we were trying to steal the underwear for ourselves. I guess that is why he said he would make us his disciples, and teach us the discipline of indiscriminate grappling. Though I'm quite glad we got the name changed to the school of Anything Goes Martial Arts."

"A truly sad day in history," Soun said, his eyes near watering. "On the one hand I had made the promise to Kimiko to remove the demon spawn, and on the other I was given probably the best opportunity to do something with my life."

"Such is the way with life Tendo-san. It is fraught with crossroads that often lead in divergent directions. But I've never forgotten that promise we made together Tendo-san. It has taken us many years, but it will be finished, either by us or by our children, or our children's children."

They were both silent for a while, deep in thought until Soun spoke up.

"Genma, tell me truly. Are you happy with what you've done with your life?"

"My life... Looking back at all those crossroads, I have made many choices that may seem bad to many people."

Soun was nodding vigorously.

"At the time it could be considered that I made the best choice at the time. First it was for myself, then for my friends, and then for my family. Each time those decisions have gotten harder, yet also each time the obstacles in the road have become fewer, and the outcome has always been worth it. If I was given the chance to start over, I'd probably make all the same decisions." [Though not in the same order.] "I wouldn't change my life for anything. I have a beautiful wife and a son who's growing up to become a fine heir to the school of Anything Goes Martial Arts."

"And I have three very beautiful daughters who all take after their mother," Soun said.

Genma could see the sad look in Soun's eyes. "Perhaps we should go home soon, and see how they are all doing, ne?"

Soun nodded slowly in reply.

[Now, if only we could get out of here,] Genma thought.

No sooner had he finished the thought, than a familiar voice cried out from behind the wall.

"Happou dai-karin!"

Clouds of dust blew into the small jail cell as bricks and mortar vaporised in the intense heat.

"Well boys, are you happy to see your Master?" Happosai said, his voice full of the vitality that had been missing for weeks.

"Oh yes Master, yes!" They both replied in earnest.

"Let's get going then!" Happosai picked up a large sack and bounded out of the hole in the wall.

Genma and Soun looked to one another, with a set expression on their faces. They nodded to one another silently, before following their Master out of the jail, dodging falling masonry as they went.


Two dark outlines pulled themselves closer to the ground on which they crouched. The hill itself provided an unobstructed view of the figures below where they ran about on the iced snow that covered the ground. Each of them had a long shafted weapon, which they held to the ground so they wouldn't stand out in the partial light from the stars and moon.

Carefully, they whispered to each other in quiet tones, so they wouldn't be discovered.

"{Do you think she is there, the one we are after?}" One asked, with a decidedly young female voice.

"{Shhh,}" the other hushed her companion, also light of voice.

She sat quietly, listening intently as the door to the Guide's cabin closed again as another figure ran out, easily seen because of the lantern they carried, causing the icy ground to glow for some distance all around.

They could hear the girl below, calling out the name, the name of their prey.

"{She is down there,}" the other said, her teeth shining in the low light as she grinned wickedly.

"{Our big sister will be pleased when we tell her of the news, and present her the head of that red haired girl.}"

A second set of teeth joined the first as they watched the ground below.

"{We will wait until they go to sleep, and attack them then.}"

"{They won't stand a chance.}"

Both of the voices sniggered, before their shapes disappeared behind the hilltop.


Over the iced snow in the darkness, bare feet found little comfort. Up onto the rocky slopes overlooking the springs, onna-Ranma finally stopped running. Below, the springs took on an unusual panorama, as an almost still surface reflected the light of the three quarter full moon overhead.

She stood transfixed by the light as it rippled lightly across several springs.

"My life is kuso," onna-Ranma said to herself, picking up a loose rock on the ground. She rolled it in her palms, feeling the rough texture before tossing it lightly off the edge, listening to it plop into a spring several seconds later.

She stepped a little closer to the edge then sat down uncaring, letting her legs hang freely, as her hands sought out another nearby rock to throw.

"Not kuso. It's..." Rolling the rock around in her hands, she suddenly found half of it turning to dust as she squeezed her right hand closed over it. "...Turned to dust. And this half..." She hefted the intact piece still in her left hand. "... Gets to go on with his life as if nothing happened." She tossed the rock out into the darkness where it disappeared. The sound of it hitting the other side of the valley and rolling down the slopes echoed back towards her.

She shivered a little, finding the cold starting to creep in after her run across the valley half naked. She regretted losing the towel in the dark, but figured it didn't really matter. "It's not as if I'm going to be
missed. Akane has otoko-Ranma now to look after her. Pop's always wanted a manly son, and mom... and mom... ..." Onna-Ranma found herself choking back tears. "She doesn't know I exist!" She tried to rub away the tears with one hand whilst her other hand went searching for another piece of rock to work her frustration upon.

Her right hand ran over the ground until it found something soft. Running it up a little she realised it was someone's foot.

"What do ya want?" Onna-Ranma mumbled behind her arm as she pulled her hand back empty, hoping fervently it wasn't otoko-Ranma.

"You know, I would miss you a lot if you left," a voice said as a halo of light spread on the ground around onna-Ranma.

"You're just saying that."

"No, I'm not," said Akane in the gentlest voice. She placed the lantern carefully down on the ground behind Ranma and worked her coat off. "The day you arrived, I thought to myself, now here's someone I can call a friend."

Onna-Ranma hadn't realised how hard she was shivering until the warm coat slid over her shoulders to cover her body. Unconsciously she pulled it close, feeling the warmth that was already in it starting to penetrate her skin.

Akane looked over the edge at the rippling reflection, and held her reservations back as she slowly sat down next to the shivering form.

"I know that I... reacted badly that time..." Akane swallowed. "... That first time in the bathroom." [And the second time,] she thought to herself. [Oh, this looks bad. How can I say all this to him... her? Dammit, I can't let her kill herself.] "It's... I guess I was..."

"Surprised?" Another voice said out of the darkness behind them both.

[Damn, he heard us,] Akane grimaced.

Otoko-Ranma continued. "Akane had had a bad run with *all* the boys at school."

[Jeeze, he doesn't have to make it sound like I was dating them all!]

"And a strange boy shows up at her house, in the bathroom of all places, naked too, as if he were lying in wait to attack her. She was right to act the way she did."

[Huh?] Akane felt a coat drop onto her shoulders. She looked around, and saw otoko-Ranma's face lean over and wink at her.

"She's had a hard time trying to trust boys, and having herself forcefully given a fiancé by her father and *both* her sisters, makes it difficult to adjust to... um..."

"Strange sex changing boys," Akane supplied. She saw otoko-Ranma take a seat on the other side of onna-Ranma who remained silent. "Look, we didn't have much of a chance last time. How would you like to start again?" She stuck out a hand. "I'm Akane. You want to be friends?" Though it was dark, she put on a big smile.

Onna-Ranma seemed to ignore her as she leaned forward and remained silent for a while, until Akane could make out the quiet whispering.

"Baka. Baka. Baka. Baka! Baka! Baka! Baka! Baka! Baka! Baka!" It slowly got louder until it stopped. Onna-Ranma sat up again and looked to Akane. "Why?"

"Huh?"

"Why be friends with me? I'm a... I'm... I'm a boy for crying out loud. Even under this." She poked at an exposed breast. "I have a father that hates me, and a mother that doesn't know I exist."

"That's wrong!" Otoko-Ranma argued. "Mom knows you! Mom knows you too well! It's me she doesn't know. She's never seen me once."

"That's the point," Onna-Ranma said. "She thinks of me as Ranko! To her I'm just someone else's daughter. The mother I'm supposed to have doesn't know I'm her..."

[Daughter.] Otoko-Ranma thought. [Oh che, I didn't think.]

"How do you know unless you tell her?" Akane asked.

"And get our throats cut?" Both Ranma's shouted back.

Akane cringed back for a moment. "You won't get you're throats cut, you're not cursed anymore baka!"

"Oh," was all they could reply.

"If you could just go tell her about everything that has happened, maybe she'll accept you as her daughter."

"That's the point. I don't want to be her daughter!" Onna-Ranma shouted at both of them. "I want to be Ranma, not a girl, just her one and *only* son, without any damned curse. But now she'll have him, so I'm just... just nothing." She sighed as she kicked her heals against the rock face, sending a shower of pebbles rattling down the escarpment.

Akane and otoko-Ranma looked at one another over the back of onna-Ranma, unsure of how to proceed in trying to persuade the depressed girl from doing something they all might regret.

"Who's to say she won't accept you now?" Akane said. "She may surprise you, and not care that you're a girl and a boy at the same time."

"Or we may get lucky on the way home and find a cure for this," otoko-Ranma suggested. "We might even bump into Kaneda Shotaro, and find out that this is all just a temporary problem that'll sort itself out over time."

"You won't know unless you try. You could think of this as another challenge in life to overcome," said Akane. She offered her hand once again. "Will you come with us? Come home with us... please?" She pleaded.

Onna-Ranma looked down to the hand lit by the light of the moon. [She called this a challenge. I suppose she's thinks it'll convince me by calling it a challenge.] She sighed. [Who am I kidding?]


When onna-Ranma sighed, Akane had thought it to be all over, but the warm embrace she received instead caught her completely by surprise.

Akane remembered the feeling of two healthy breasts pressing against her own. [She didn't have to hold me so tight,] she thought with a scowl.

Her face calmed as she looked up at the two faces across from her. Onna-Ranma still looked a little depressed, her face staring at the cold ground as they headed for the cabin, whilst otoko-Ranma had a look somewhere between relief and wonder. [It's going to be hell either way, finding a cure or living with the two of them. I'm going to kill that Shotaro guy if we ever find him, that is if...] She mentally rebuked herself. [No we'll find him. We have to find him, for Ranma's sake.]

As he opened the door, Otoko-Ranma found the warm air that flowed out of the cabin was a welcome place after spending the hours out in the freezing cold. It was then that his stomach's condition made itself known to everyone.

#GRRRRROOOOOOOOWWWWLL#

"Heh, heh." He guiltily rubbed his stomach as Akane glowered at him.

#GROOOAAAANNNNNN#

"I guess I'm not the only one hungry," he said as onna-Ranma proved to be a viable candidate for a 40 hour famine appeal to raise money for starving nations, though at the moment she just felt like feeding herself.

[I should see how my curry is going,] Akane thought as she looked over at the wok on the burnt out fire. "No!" She screamed.

Both Ranma's immediately rushed over to look over her shoulder.

"What is it?" Onna-Ranma queried.

"Looks like... um..." Otoko-Ranma was at a complete loss, staring at the blackened, burned and indescribable remains stuck to the bottom of the wok. "What is it?"

"It's supposed to be curry!" Akane huffed.

"Oh, well at least it doesn't look toxic."

Onna-Ranma meekly watched as her other half joined the wall in blissful union momentarily, before sliding to the floor.

"I thought I had it right this time!" Akane said, as she attempted to scrape something from the wok, but the black bits broke off and crumbled. "Damn, and I tried so hard." She dropped the wok in defeat. "I was so sure this time."

[Who knows, maybe we were saved from toxic poisoning this time,] otoko-Ranma thought gladly.

"There's always next time," onna-Ranma spoke up.

"Huh?" Otoko-Ranma looked to his other half. [Did she read my mind?] He shook his head. [I must have said it aloud... But Akane would have... Argh! I must be more tired than I thought.]

The trio decided on the consumption of several dozen raw vegetables though Akane promised to make something in the morning, before settling for sleep though none of them were comfortable. Maybe it was the lack of a full meal, or the smell of burnt food, or Akane's promise of more cooking, or the pinnacle of the day's events resulting in the insane splitting of Ranma, or the climactic battle Ranma had had with himself, or all of the above. As it happened, the three individuals spread out on the floor in front of the fire found their sleep filled with insistent dreams.


Two silent figures crept into the dark cabin on bare feet. When the floor creaked slightly they stopped and waited, making sure they weren't heard before continuing. They stopped as they watched one girl roll about the floor as if she were about to wake.

Instead she stopped, allowing one arm to flop down in front of the fire.

"{It's going to burn,}" one whispered.

"{Shhhh,}" the other held a finger to her lips, as the girl near them withdrew the hand from the heat and rolled right over onto the redheaded girl in the middle, her arm slapping the dark haired boy who lay on the other side right in the face.

"Gomen Akane."

Both of them froze when the boy mumbled something and scratched at the bruise appearing on his face.

The girl rolled over again, appearing to find the lumpy form under her too uncomfortable.

"Baka ecchi," she mumbled.

One of the intruders was forced to stand back as one of the girl's hands started to scramble across the floor seemingly of its own accord. "Leave P-Chan alone."

Seeing a log laying nearby, the intruder slid it silently across where the wayward hand intercepted it, and drew it in close to her like a favourite teddy bear.

"{Stupid girl,}" one whispered.

The other tried hard not to laugh.

Remembering their business in the cabin, the two intruders stood over the sleeping redheaded girl, ignoring the other two occupants of the cabin as they dreamt of some sort of mundane existence.

Slowly they raised their weapons above their heads, poised to strike at the slumbering target. "{Sweet dreams, for tonight you die!}"

Together they stabbed down at their target, feeling the bite of them hitting something solid.

Looking down, they found both their weapons struck the floorboards, whilst the girl had rolled over and lay against the boy, with one arm wrapped lazily over him.

One went to pull her weapon up, but it remained jammed in the floor. The other one tittered. "{You should learn to use a real weapon,}" she said quietly as she struck again at the sleeping figure.

Instead of merely rolling out of the way, the out flung arm whipped over and hit the staff, knocking it aside to drop back again.

The girl with the staff hissed at the shock.

"{Do you think she is awake and pretending to be asleep?}" The other whispered as she rocked the tiger-fork free.

"{Why should she pretend to be asleep?}"

The dark-haired girl with the log stirred. "Ranma-chan be quiet, you're beginning to sound like Shampoo." Her free hand shot out and hit the other redhead girl in the chest.

There was a mumbled response that couldn't be understood by anyone.

"{The log girl mention Xiang-Pu,}" said one of the intruders.

They whispered back and forth between one another. "{Do you think big sister was defeated by her also?}"

"{Maybe we should give her Kiss of Death also, to be sure.}"

"{Who kiss her first?}"

They looked at one another in the darkness, and wondered how to resolve this, when the one nearest the girl with a tiger-fork spoke up first. "{I am nearest. I will give her Kiss of Death first.}"

She tiptoed forward. Holding her weapon at an angle so she could kneel down over her victim.

Akane had been sleeping lightly, a dream on the edge of her mind when the noises had taken her away from her dream state, leaving her semiconscious. In this state, any noise usually didn't rouse her completely, but the warmth of a breath on her cheek tended to trigger defensive responses buried deep in her mind that were solely reserved for hentai.

Her left arm came up, her fist striking the unknown person above her before she could even open her eyes. "Ranma no Baka!" She said automatically as she blinked in the near darkness to see what had happened.

She looked left. [One Ranma, two Ranma... huh?] Her freshly started thoughts ground to a halt trying to work out what she had hit, when she saw a figure standing over onna-Ranma. [Who...?] "Who is that?" She finally voiced.

Without warning, the figure swung a staff down at her, forcing her to jump out of her sleeping bag so she wouldn't be hit.

[This girl she dodges good,] thought the intruder as she re-positioned herself to occupy the girl's attention.

Akane looked from the intruder who had backed off a little, to both Ranma's still sleeping on the floor when she felt the danger at her back. Rolling sideways, she felt something graze her ribs. Holding a hand to her side she found two adversaries, both of which were armed. [I think I'm outmatched. Why hasn't Ranma woken up yet? Baka!] She cupped her hands and yelled towards the slumbering forms. "Wake up Ranma!"


A forest stood on all sides, with large moist green leaves decorating the trees that stretched overhead to a point where they appeared to join the bright blue sky where a yellow sun shone down. The scent of their fragrant oils hung strongly in the air.

Amongst the colossal trunks stood a short red-haired girl in a traditional kimono as she gaped at the tree lined forest about her.

Spinning about with her arms raised, she twirled around and around, feeling the tug of her hair flying out freely around her as she laughed in the filtered sunlight. "It feels good to be outside!" she said out loud, though there was no one near enough to hear her.

She came to a stop, stamping her geta on the ground, and let the dizziness wash over her for a moment, until a view of the family house slowly steadied in front of her.

"Keishi!" Called a voice from the side of the house.

The red-haired girl stepped beyond the thin break in the trees into the warm sunlight that invaded the clearing that surrounded the house and its meagre garden where a woman slowly stood from where she had been tending a few plants. The woman wiped her hands clean on a cloth before adjusting the long ponytail of bright red hair so it hung down her back.

"Keishi-chan? You're otousan should be returning today. You don't want to get your clothes dirty before then do you?" Said the woman as her daughter came forward.

"Okaasan, gomen nasai," the girl bowed to her mother, her red hair falling over her head before she stood up again with a lob sided grin plastered upon her face. "But I can't help but feel happy. Otousan is coming home today."

The woman smiled at her daughter pleasantly. "You have finished your training today Keishi-chan?"

"No okaasan," Keishi replied bowing her head slightly. "I was hoping otousan would show me something new from his travels when he got home."

"I don't know dear. He went north to find out what the Yamato clan are doing about the unrest developing on the mainland."

"Still it's possible he ran into some travelling warriors and traded information on a secret technique to defeat a demon in one strike." Keishi's hands twisted around one another as she slid one foot forward on the ground and struck at the empty air with a blurring fist.

"Two hundred years of peace on Honshu under the Yamato's..." Keishi's mother began as a voice called out from the front.

"Tadaima!"

"Hisasuke?" The woman queried with a frown.

Keishi took off around the house, her white clothed form a blur as she ran.

Her mother only shook her head, letting the reprimand slip from her mind as she heard her daughter call out "Okaeri!"

A tall man in travelling clothes dropped the large pack he had been carrying onto the ground as the white blur bounded up to him. Promptly he lifted his daughter up into the air and swung her round once as he lost his broad hat, revealing his slim face with long black hair tied behind his head as he lowered his daughter to the ground again.

"You're getting to be a bit big for that now aren't you?" He said, stooping down the short distance to her height to reach behind her ear, and withdrew a bright pink flower from behind her head.

"Oh, thankyou-thankyou-thankyou-thankyou," she said, taking the flower gently from his hand.

"Don't you have anything for me?" Asked the only other female voice.

Hisasuke turned to his wife with a broad smile. "I come bearing more than presents," he said before giving his wife a passionate kiss.

"Oooohhh."

Both parents turned to find their daughter staring intently at them.

"Go on with you," the mother motioned with her hand for her daughter to be somewhere less obvious in her staring, as it wouldn't be lady like.

"Keishi-chan, don't go yet," her father said. "I have something important, to tell both of you."

"What is it?" Minayo asked with a concerned voice.

"Some wonderful news Minayo-chan," he replied. "But first can we go inside. I've been travelling since before the sun rose."

Hisasuke picked up the pack he'd dropped as Keishi danced happily around her father as they headed towards the house. Minayo shook her head, picking up the forgotten hat before she followed them both inside.

The family sat around the low table in the family room, as Hisasuke cleared his throat.

"I've been north where the Hata family have settled."

"I thought you had gone to see the Yamato clan," said Minayo.

"I did, but there was something more important that I had to go see their elder's about."

"Aren't they from the Korean providences on the mainland?" Minayo asked.

"Yes, they're a big family and settled in the plains not far north, where there's lots of land good for farming. They have quite a few sons' all of age. After long discussion I was able get them to agree on having one of their boys marry Keishi."

"Marry?" Both Keishi and her mother repeated.


Onna-Ranma moaned upon hearing the loud voice that sounded like it was screaming into her ear. [I was having such a wond... such a nice dream. Felt like pops was trying to get me yet another fiancé.]

Two heads lifted up from the floor together, one black and one red.

Onna-Ranma looked though slitted eyes at Akane. [Just Akane-chan,] she thought and waved a hand towards her before turning over to return to sleep. [Maybe I'll dream of pounding Ryoga this time.]

Otoko-Ranma meanwhile opened his eyes fully and looked at his fiancé. "What do ya want Akane-chan?" He said with a wide yawn.

"Look around baka, there's someone else in here trying to kill me!"

A voice in the darkness spoke up in broken and barely understandable Japanese. "Log-girl in way. Must die."

Otoko-Ranma was suddenly awake as he focused on the two dark outlines as they came at Akane with weapons raised.

"Noooo!" he screamed as he flew from his sleeping bag, knocking one aside as Akane dodged the assault from the other.

As the odds seemed to change, the two intruders regrouped together to change their strategy. "{This is not going well.}"

Seeing a break in the fighting, otoko-Ranma lit a lantern from the cooking bench, turning up the light to reveal the two intruders as two short girls in small Chinese battle suits, made from brightly coloured shirts and short pleated skirts. One held a bo-staff with pink hair, the other held a sharp looking tiger-fork and had blue hair, but both were unmistakably Chinese.

"Who are you?" Akane demanded, as she felt her side, which was still hurting.

The two girls held their weapons at the ready as they spoke.

"Ranma eat Shampoo prize and disgrace at Martial art show. Ranma deserve Kiss of Death."

[Oh no,] otoko-Ranma thought. [They can't be, can they?]

They both re-positioned their weapons, pointing them at the still slumbering form on the floor.

"LinLin and RanRan will kill Ranma," one said.

"Is law," the other finished.

Akane looked from the two girls to otoko-Ranma, her anger showing clearly on her face. "They're Amazons. When were you going to tell me there were more of them after you?"

"I didn't know they were after me!" He said urgently, waving his hands up and down in an attempt to stave off any blows. "I swear this is the first time I've seen them!"

The Amazon girls saw the dissension in their adversaries, and decided to take advantage of the situation. They nodded once to one another and yelled something incomprehensible in Mandarin.

In perfect synchronisation, both girls started spinning together, the one on the left clockwise whilst the one on the right anti-clockwise, their weapons held horizontally at waist level like two eggbeaters as they slowly moved forwards towards the redheaded girl on the floor.

Otoko-Ranma jumped forward, suddenly finding the purpose to the spinning strategy, as one or the other swung their weapons at him at high velocity. He took several hard hits before been forced back.

The two Amazons continued advancing, their spinning weapons edging him back all the time.

Risking a glance backwards, he saw how close they were to onna-Ranma now. "Wake her up!" He called to Akane, as he tried to delay the deadly duo. He tried attacking one low down on her bare legs, and was thwarted by the spinning staff, then had to dodge the fork as it came for his head.

Onna-Ranma bemoaned the hard shaking she was given, forcing her to wake up from the strange dream she was having.

"Wuz up?" She asked the face in front of her which she slowly identified as Akane, as one of her hands idly searched for the missing blanket that had been covering her.

Akane simply pointed at the spinning duo, still swinging their weapons at the boy, who was finally forced to move out of their way.

"You woke me up for this?" Onna-Ranma asked, starting to close her eyes again.

"They're here to kill you, do you understand?" Akane angrily shook the girl again.

Onna-Ranma remembered what had gone through her head earlier that night, and the thought of someone trying to kill her now just made it all that much worse. "Why the hell couldn't they have come a few hours ago?" She said, shaking Akane off as she stood up on her own two feet, swaying for a moment as she faced two whirling Amazons. "You know it's one thing to feel depressed like this..."

Otoko-Ranma felt the chill crawl down his spine as the air pressure in the room suddenly dropped away as if someone had opened a door on a jet flying at 15,000 feet. [Oh crap,] he thought, jumping for Akane and throwing them both to the floor behind onna-Ranma.

Onna-Ranma mashed the heels of her hands together and yelled. "Shishi Hokodan!"

The two Amazon's watched as the blue ball of ki energy erupted forth from the girl, finding themselves utterly defenceless against it as the heavy ki smashed into them, flattening them senseless against the far wall for a brief moment, before blowing them through and out into the darkness.

"What the?" Akane asked.

The lantern light flickered upon the remaining wall, revealing a gaping hole larger than before, where the ki had torn through the wall. One roof beam creaked in protest because its supporting brace had disappeared, showering the floor in dust.

Otoko-Ranma grabbed the lantern. "Are you two okay?" He asked the girls.

"Can I go to sleep now?" Onna-Ranma said as she slumped back to the floor.

Akane could only nod in reply to otoko-Ranma.

"I'm going outside to check on them," he said.

"Then I'm coming," Akane said, as she jumped to follow him.

Otoko-Ranma advanced on the dark maw, eyeing the destruction. [I'm not going to repair it this time. I don't think we've got enough wood to cover this hole.] Stepping cautiously outside, Ranma looked about at the scattered debris, checking every square metre of ground until he found two forms further out where the blast had carried them.

Advancing together, the light revealed one girl lying spreadeagled on her back with her arms and legs at various angles. The other appeared to be face down on the ground, with her body curled up backwards over her head with her feet touching the ground where her arms rested.

"Are they dead?" Akane asked, as they circled the pair.

"I don't think so," Ranma replied as he leaned forward, noting the slight fogging of air in front of the Amazon girl's faces from the cold. "Just knocked out."

"We can't leave them out here," Akane said, holding her arms around herself as the clothes she wore to sleep had no insulation against the cold.

[We could always dump them into a spring,] Ranma thought mischievously. [But then I'd have two wild animals after me... well maybe after the other me. And I'd hate to drop them into the Maonichuan.] "We could drag them inside and tie them up," he suggested.

"And in the morning?" Akane asked. "We should leave..." she started, then remembered onna-Ranma was still in the cabin. "I don't think we're going to get any further information by staying here."

"And obviously the Amazon's aren't going to be a help if they still think there's a Kiss of Death on me... I mean the other me," otoko-Ranma added. He nodded in acceptance. "We'll leave in the morning for Japan. We can leave these two tied up. By the time they get loose, we should be long gone."

"Then you grab that one," Akane said pointing to the Amazon flat on the ground. "And I'll get this one," she said, moving to the girl with her crotch stuck provocatively in the air and her skirt draped backwards exposing it to view. Akane shuddered at the sight that greeted her. She glanced at otoko-Ranma who was studiously not looking in her direction. So she wouldn't have to continue seeing it herself, Akane placed one foot against the girl's side and shoved the Amazon over. Taking an arm, she slowly dragged the girl back to the cabin over the cold ground.

End Chapter 3


Author's Notes:

If you suffer from depression, please seek your doctor for assistance. Depression is a major factor for suicides in youth.

Okay, aside from the serious nature followed on from the previous chapter...

I'm trying to provide a linear timeline as possible (Sorry Al, Gravity/Neutrino flux can't be considered this time). If I haven't focused much on the other Ranma characters, it maybe because they aren't doing anything interesting at the moment. Mousse is trying to find his glasses which he lost in one of the cooking pots of the Nekohanten (splitting him wouldn't be bad, I guess... maybe... I don't know!), Ukyo is working her nice butt off both at work and at school simultaneously (If she could split herself, she probably would), Tatewaki Kuno is bemoaning the lack of Akane and 'Pigtailed girl' at school (he'd split himself just for those two girls, but would probably end up arguing with himself most of the time), and Kodachi is celebrating yet another Rhythmic Gymnastics Martial Arts victory since she can't find Ranma at the moment thus making everyone's life a misery (and we don't want to split her, do we? Could you imagine her laughter in stereo?). Did I miss anyone?

Time distorts all memories, and you know old folk are very good a telling a yarn. Sorry, did I forget to mention I'm from Australia? [They'd better not ask where that is. Mumble, mumble. I wonder how many readers I just lost? Mumble, mumble.]

Apologies for using the name Kimiko for Soun Tendo's wife. Since it seems she never got a name in the Manga or Anime, and some smart person who was writing fan-fiction decided on that name, so it's stuck. Now many people have copied it and used it.

I have the darndest time writing fight scenes. It's so hard for me. I'm forced to read dozens of other people's work to get the flow and movement right, and then I still feel as if I'm not putting enough into it. Manga is a much better medium for it, but I can't draw for crap. Any comments on my fight scenes? Please? Pretty please?

You know I finished writing this and was ready to post, and forgot all about my cameo character. This was hard chapter to fit one in, but she made it.

I think I'm going to take a bit of a break after this chapter. Doing number 3 really felt rushed. So I need to sit back and relax, watch some Escaflowne, read something else vaguely interesting.

Next chapter (read by a really fast girl's voice):

Are-the-duo-of-death-really-knocked-out-or-are-the y-faking? Can-onna-Ranma-really-beat-her-depression-or-will- she-end-up-beating-on-heaven's-door. Will-the-two-Ranma's-ever-get-back-together? Can-we-expect-more-fan-service-from-cute-Amazon-gi rls-in-the-next-chapter? What-were-Soun-and-Genma-doing-locked-behind-bars- and-will-we-ever-find-out-in-the-next-chapter-of-a -cure-for-the-curse: "Dark dreams".

Please send me C&C! And direct them to TheGuide at JusenkyoOnline dot com. Don't fall into the online Jusenkyo spring, well just in case; send it to the address at the top instead.

All Flames will help keep Akane and both Ranma's warm whilst camping in the Chinese mountains.