Three months into it there was a misunderstanding my girlfriend completely over-reacted, screaming at me & swearing.
I knew then I should leave, there was no respect for my feelings, she couldn't / wouldn't hear my experience. Her angry outbursts & over-reactions over the slightest thing continued, there was always an apology but no behaviour change. I would be hung up on if I 'confronted' things, she threw things in her rage and I was left feeling I had to walk on eggshells.
She criticised my friends & family, and called me stupid & pathetic because I'd tell her I was afraid of her.
If I said I was going to leave she would physically hurt herself. I could see she was ill, but it took me 2 years to realize I COULDN'T FIX HER.
I constantly felt afraid, manipulated & controlled by her threats, outbursts, and mood swings.
Every Morning I wake to the same damn thing… the ceiling fan rotating, the crack in the middle rudar that makes it look like a live helicopter, and then when deciding to rise off the ol' sturdy pull out sofa every part of my body is still stiff my neck screams in pain … thankfully the bruises where now gone.. But the pain remained; Izzy was sleeping less than an inch away snoring softly, her chest slowly rising and falling gaining its own rhythm, I sit up, swinging my legs to the side, my feet sticking like roots into the baltic wooden soil floors and more called veneer; kissing her fluttering eyes clearly livid with her dreams before finally deciding to fetch the black liquid which sustains my essence aka coffee.
Today was the day I had to do this! But how? How do you tell something like that to someone? It shouldn't have happened and it shan't again..well hopefully not but shes my own personal heroine too addictive to leave for forever… Do i have the strength for this? Today I'll meet magnus..and maybe he'll know what to do and maybe a place to stay.
''Hey! Biscuit? You in there?'' he said clicking his fingers pulling me from my daze ''double espresso or just a regular? Coffee before emotion right?'' now he looked simply concerned, well...to the point where he got that weird crease between his brows, and his eyes shone like water crystalline suns. ''Yeah dude.. That's the motto'' I sighed '' I'll go saves the seats, you bring the coffee over; I really need a smoke..''. ''Ugh..sure gowan I'll be out in a minute'' he said reluctantly.
''Thals move over, so how was the holiers?'' he inquired, '' well honestly..not good'' i mumbled not wanting to recall the night forced on the beach in Barcelona but knowing that's why she was here, to try make things easier.
