Knowing I probably wouldn't sleep tonight (who could? I'm in Narnia), I paid careful attention to which path Dinah took to reach my room. I wanted to be able to find my way back to the courtyard later.
Three floors, two hallways, and countless beautiful tapestries later, Dinah stopped in front of a heavy wooden door.
"Here we are," she said in a light, almost breathy voice that I hadn't expected. "There are a couple of guards down the hall should you need anything."
I thanked her, and she turned back the way we had come as I opened the door. Gazing around the room, I remembered reading somewhere that, in such a large castle, the rooms are also naturally large, and I found that to be an understatement. Just the bathroom, with the marble sink and golden claw-foot bathtub that was probably three feet deep, was easily five of my dorm room. The bedroom, complete with a table, wardrobe, and four-poster canopy king sized bed, was about double that. If this was the size of the guest room, I couldn't imagine what living quarters would be.
Deciding a bath sounded like a good idea, what with the layers of grit and who knows what else on my clothes, I grabbed a towel and made use of the soap next to the tub to clean up. As I finished, I heard someone closing the bedroom door; when I peeked out, I found fresh clothes laying on the bed.
Grateful that they hadn't given me a dress, I put on the tunic and trousers, ate a bit from the tray, and decided to explore. Dream or not, I knew better than to stop moving. The minute I stopped before exhaustion forced me to sleep, I would be locked in the memory I had pushed back earlier, and I didn't want that to knock me out of this wonderful dream.
I stood at my door, deciding which way to go. Left would lead me back towards the courtyard, depending on the hallway I chose, but I eventually decided to turn right. I had my own hopes as to where this would lead me, but either way, it was something new. As I stepped away from the door, a thought occurred to me, and I went back into the room. Grabbing a piece of paper, quill, and ink I remembered spotting on the table, I wrote a quick, and likely slightly messy, note explaining that I had gone exploring and had turned right from my door. The quill and ink was…different. Considering I always wrote in cursive, I didn't find the quill much different from a faulty ink pen, but I could definitely see why people had tried so hard to move past the quill.
Leaving the note in the most conspicuous place I could, I set out to explore what I could of the castle between now and sunrise, when I was to meet Queens Susan and Lucy to go to the Stone Table.
Every hallway had many, many tapestries. Some I knew, like the coronation of King Frank I and Queen Helen and the story of the defeat of the White Witch, but others were very new to me. I saw one that depicted a young boy standing up to a Giant—an Ettin, maybe?—alone, holding a sling shot. The next one showed that same boy standing victorious over the Giant. Grinning at the parallel, I wasn't surprised when the next tapestry showed the same boy, now very much older, crowned king, his wife at his side. On another hallway and a floor down, I found a tapestry depicting a ship tossing on the waves while many figures appeared to rush around the deck. All were armed, but I couldn't see what the danger was. The tapestry was very old and slightly faded, and I wondered when the event had occurred.
I explored like this for an hour or two, finding countless tapestries telling many stories, before I found my favorite room in the castle: the library. I stared, probably openmouthed, at shelf after shelf and row after row of books and scrolls and pictures spread throughout the giant room. This library was probably two or three times bigger than the Library of Congress!
Someone chuckled to my left, and I turned to see a Nymph watching me with some amusement.
"You may read the books, Child," she told me, "instead of staring at them."
A large grin split my face, both at her gentle teasing and at the permission to pick out a book. "Where would Narnian history books be?" I asked.
She flicked a finger at me to follow her and led me to a specific shelf to the right of the door. "You would be looking for this row," she told me as she grabbed a book from the row at knee-height, "and this one makes a good place to start."
I couldn't kill the giant grin on my face as she handed the thin book to me. "Thank you very much," I told her sincerely, but my gaze had strayed to the books lining the shelf. I no longer cared whether this was a dream, kidnapping, or hallucination. It was the best night ever.
I spent the entire night in the library, reading book after book and thoroughly enjoying myself. The book the Nymph—Taasla, I later found out her name was—had given me turned out to be the first of several volumes detailing the centuries of history stretching all the way back to King Frank I. When I finished that one, I grabbed the next one on the row, and in this way read the night away.
Knowing I only had a handful of hours until sunrise, I skimmed through parts of the books to get to the bits I found interesting and worth remembering, and by doing this I was able to finish most of the series. In fact, I was just finishing the last paragraph of the last book when Dinah walked in following a Hummingbird I had seen flitting around a few minutes prior.
"Have you been here all night?" she asked me, gazing wide-eyed at the small, neat stack of books I had next to me.
I look up at her, slightly concerned. "Yes. There's not a problem with that, is there?"
She wiped the surprise off her face. "No, of course not. Most people do need to sleep, though. Even the Centaur have been in bed for hours."
I let a small smile show. "I couldn't sleep, so I started exploring." She nodded, having obviously found the note I left. "I found the library sometime around midnight and have been here ever since." I looked toward the nearest window. "Is it time to go?"
"You have just enough time to grab something to eat from the kitchens before you must be down in the courtyard," she answered.
Hurriedly putting the books back on their shelf, I followed her down to the kitchen, then out to the courtyard where a small group was gathering.
"There you are!" I heard as we neared the group. I looked over to see Lucy bouncing her way towards me, way too energetic for this early in the morning. "Did you sleep well?" she asked, grinning up at me.
I nodded my head in greeting as I answered with a smile, "Good morning, Lucy. I found your library last night. That was much better than sleeping."
She giggled. "You sound like a friend of mine. She would always rather read than sleep, especially if there were new books around."
Wondering if I knew who she was referring to, I answered, "She and I would probably get along great, then. Is she here?"
Lucy shook her head, curls bouncing. "She promised to help my brother with something today."
It probably was who I was thinking of, but I didn't get a chance to ask as the group started to move.
The walk to the Stone Table was uneventful. I stayed near Lucy, who stayed near Queen Susan, and they both talked on and off with the others around us. I joined in now and again, but mostly I enjoyed simply listening. I had stopped actively wondering how I had gotten here, resolving to simply enjoy it while it lasted, and I used the travel time to take in the scenery.
Everything seemed somehow more than it was back home. The sky was bluer. The grass was greener. The trees were taller. The air was more pure. We walked within earshot of the shore for a short while, and I listened to the surf, watching for a glimpse of a mermaid whenever we briefly came within sight of the sea. As we moved further inland, I watched Naiads and Dryads come out of their homes to greet the Queens, along with various other Animals. Squirrels bounced through the trees, chattering the latest news and excited that Aslan had passed by there a few hours prior. The closer we got to the Table, the taller and more ancient the trees became and the quieter the travelling crowd got. We were entering holy ground, and I could tell everyone knew that.
Soon enough, a Voice began carrying through the trees, and we came into a clearing around the Stone Table. I could see it, some thirty yards away, cracked in two, but what caught my gaze was who, or rather Who, stood in front of it.
The great, golden Lion stood some ten feet ahead of the Table, gently teaching all who would listen. Someone called a question every so often, which He would usually answer aloud, and I saw a small group gathered off to the side I suspected were here to ask for healing. Suddenly shy, I followed the Queens to sit in the back.
He seemed to change topics as we sat down. "Blessed are the meek," He said in a deep, gentle voice as my breath caught at the familiar words. "They will receive a great inheritance."
The sound of His voice picked me up and swept through me as a storm sweeps through a valley, filling me with joy and longing for something I had never truly known.
"Blessed are the merciful; they will be shown mercy. Blessed are those that hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they will be filled."
Filled. I wanted to be filled, not just with righteousness, but with something else, though I couldn't yet put a name to it.
"Blessed are those that mourn, for they will be comforted."
Those that mourn. Yes, that applied to me in a way, for was I not mourning the end of a long friendship? I felt a memory trying to push its way up, but I was too focused on listening for it to take over.
"Blessed are the peacemakers. Those that exalt themselves will be brought low, and he that humbles himself will be exalted. Do not let your hearts be troubled, for you are Mine, and I will not forsake My own."
His, oh I know I am His, though the name I know Him by is not the name of this world. I could vaguely hear the Queens talking beside me, likely commenting on the joy I now realize is in my face, but I didn't—couldn't—break my focus from Him.
"Call to me in your hardship. My grace is enough for you. My strength is made perfect in weakness."
If He ever turned His head, I was unaware. For all I knew, none of what I heard was audible to anyone but me, but I didn't take the time to think on that then. Whether anyone else could hear it didn't change that I could. I could hear it, and I needed to hear it.
"Do not be afraid. Rejoice! Your sorrow can be turned into joy."
How? How, when it seems so overwhelming?
"Peace." The word sounded close to a purr. "Peace be unto you."
Yes. Peace, that's what I want. That's what I couldn't put a name to.
"My peace I give to you."
Please, yes, I want peace. Peace for whatever is to come. Peace to accept it as it is. Peace I can keep, gather it in and hold it close.
"Not as the world gives and takes away. Do not let your heart be troubled. Do not be afraid, for I give you My peace."
My vision seemed to tunnel, and I only saw the Lion, who appeared to be staring directly at me.
Peace. The word is at once a whisper and a roar, deafening yet inaudible, strong yet soft. Peace, I hear again, overwhelming the quieter voice of Queen Susan bidding me farewell, and I'm swept into the current of love and sweet, calming peace. Peace, I hear once more, and I reopen my eyes to find myself in my chair.
I simply sat there a minute, fully enjoying the peace I had and completely ignoring the music still playing from my computer. With a tap of a key, I turned it off without even trying to recognize the song. For the first time in weeks, maybe months, I was totally at peace.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. The words became a prayer, for I knew no other words to say. Finally, I could recall memories of good times, and they didn't take over, demanding attention and emotion and time. The peace flooding through me had banished the flashbacks; I was firmly back in the present. There was still a twinge of lingering hurt that the friendship was likely over, but it wasn't all-consuming. His grace was enough. I would survive even if the friendship didn't.
Opening my Bible, I didn't have to know the reference for my finger to find the correct page, and I read the words that were still lingering in my memory, hearing them in my mind as I had just heard them.
"Peace I leave with you. My peace I give unto you: not as the world gives, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
I had no inclination to even move, not wanting to ruin the peace soaring through my soul, the sweet, soaring, calming, wondrous peace, but my phone started buzzing. A tentative thread of hope took hold when I saw Jeff's name on the caller ID, but that's not what made me nearly miss the call.
The clock said 5:01 pm.
Hope you enjoyed it, and don't forget to review. Like it? Is there anything I could improve on?
