Red vs. Bleu
Megatron repeated his statement, "We are giving you a chance to surrender!"
"There is no way this bluff is going to work," remarked Frenzy.
"Put a cork in it, Fast Eddie. There's positively no way they know we're out of ammo."
"Yeah, they're definitely out of ammo," said Optimus, "What're your terms?!"
"Their what?" asked Jazz.
"Our what?" asked Frenzy.
"I can't believe this is actually working," said Starscream, "See if we can get Soundwave back, Megatron."
"Oh yeah. Cause then he can fix the Scorponok."
"Oh oh Megatron, tell them we want the disk," Rumble recommended.
"Yeah and some cake," said Frenzy.
"Oh…Wait wait Megatron, just the cake."
"Alright Autobots!" began Megatron, "First off! We want your disk…!"
"Wait wait wait just a second. The last time we got the disk, the chick with the twin guns showed up," interrupted Starscream.
"…To stay right where it is," continued Megatron, "Keep the disk! But we do want our mechanic back!"
"Uh oh," said Optimus.
"You may know him as Soundwave!"
"Well Optimus, what's it going to be?" asked Jazz.
"No way! I'm not giving back my body. I just got this thing."
"And don't think you can keep his nuts! Or bolts, or other mechanical parts you may have!" Megatron yelled.
"Uh, uh he's not here anymore!" Optimus yelled back.
"Yeah, he left! He was all like 'Sayonara!' and then he just took off!" added Jazz.
"That's not Cybertronian you idiot, that's Spanish. Let's try this. Hey Decepticons! How about a medic?! Would you take a medic as a hostage?!"
"A hostage? But I'm suppose to go over there," said Dr. Ratchet.
"Meh, that sounds pretty good to me," agreed Starscream.
"I don't know," thought Frenzy, "I think we can hold out for more."
"We don't have any cells, dumbass."
"Oh right. Take the medic. The medic's a good deal."
"Hey Dr. Ratchet. How's the patient?" Optimus asked.
"Doing well. He seems very alert and responsive," the medic answered.
"He's talking about Bumblebee, right?" asked Jazz.
"No I mean his foot, how's the foot I shot?" Optimus corrected.
"What that part? It fell off like half an hour ago," replied Dr. Ratchet.
"Rest in peace, little bit," cried Bumblebee.
"You shall be avenged!" said Galvatron.
"Tell you what. Go ahead and send me over. I really don't think I can be any more help," said Dr. Ratchet.
"Okay! We are going to send over our medic!" Optimus yelled to the Decepticons, "Now what do we get!?"
"You?! You're surrendering! You don't get anything except humiliation and ridicule!" replied Starscream.
"We've already got that!" said Jazz, "What else do you have!?"
"What do you want!?" asked Megatron.
"How about you admit that the Decepticons suck!" proposed Optimus.
Megatron and his team muttered to themselves for a moment.
"What if we admit that one of us sucks!?" asked Megatron.
"Nice. Wait, you mean Rumble, right?" said Frenzy.
Two hours later…
"Okay then! We agree to the terms!?" asked Optimus, "You first, and then we send over the medic!"
"Get on with it Frenzy," ordered Megatron.
The Decepticon sighed.
"I would just like to let everyone know, that I suck...!"
"And!?" added Optimus.
"And that I'm a girl…!"
"What else!?"
"And I like ribbon magnets on my head, and I want to kiss all the boys...!"
"This may be the best surrender of all time," said Megatron.
"Okay, is that good enough!?" asked Starscream.
"Yeah!" replied Optimus, "Alright, go ahead Dr. Ratchet."
The pacifist medic ran over to the other side.
"Man, I really hope you're worth this," said Frenzy.
"Can I ask you a question? Do they put something in the oil here?"
"Oil? We ran out of oil six months ago."
"No oil, then what do you drink?"
"Uh, you know, water, uh, milk, juice, the usual."
"I only drink the fluid from my enemies," announced Megatron, "And occasionally a Red Bull. Or a sasparilla. Grenadine, straight from the can. Deeelicious. ...Oh occasionally I do enjoy a 'Sex on the Beach.' Or a pina colata. If you like pina colatas, hengh! Getting caught in the rain, hengh! And you're not in to yoga, engh! Frenzy just has half a CPU, ungh.
