Chapter 3

Okay so im so so so sorry that it took SOO long to put this up I was having writers block…its really short so im sorry about that…I'm still kinda stuck so if you guys could help me out ill explain more at the end of the chapter but thanks for all the awesome reviews I love you guys so much!!! I really appreciate it!!

Alice didn't gasp, she did scream, she didn't look angry just sad and disappointed, but I would have take screaming and yelling over her disappointed eyes. I hated upsetting Alice. I pulled my sleeves back down slowly. I hope she doesn't tell Edward…but part of me wants him to know, not so he can feel morose, but so I didn't have to hide this from him, so he could know. I wanted him to be a part in every part of my life.

"Are you going to tell him" I asked Alice

"No. but I'm sure he will find out." She said "You look like you need to hunt…lets go home you can hunt with Edward" Alice said and we started running back to her house.

Edward greeted me at the door with a kiss.

"We'll be back later" he said to his family and we started running towards the forest.

"Bella get up…Bells…" I heard a voice say as they shook me lightly

"Jake?" I asked confused. "What am I doing here?" I asked suddenly aware that I was at the Black's house, on the couch.

"You came over last night…you were really upset about something" he said "You needed someone to talk to"

"Oh" I said remembering all too well; the scissors, my skin, the blood, the tears, then coming here. "Charlie's going to kill me" I said more to myself then to Jake.

"Don't worry, Billy called him, told him you came over to watch a movie but ended up falling asleep."

"Thanks Jake" I said smiling at him slightly. "I should probably go home though, for Charlie" I said.

"Nope. Got it all taken care of, Charlie actually insisted you stay here today, says he has been worried 'bout you and thought it would be good for you to get out of that damn house" Jake said smiling at me "Normally I would have let you sleep, but I made you breakfast." He said

"Thanks…but you didn't have to do that." I said awkwardly

"Hey, no problem." He said bringing me a plate of French toast with scrambled eggs.

"Thanks this looks great…what time is it?" I said

"Its almost 4 pm, you didn't sleep well."

"Oh okay"

"Yep. Listen I actually have to go…ware wolf stuff…last night I had Quil take over for me so I could stay with you…but now I've gotta do the rounds. I'll be back later though and Emily said she would stop by and say hi if you wanted to stay here…ill be done in a few hours and then we can do something" he said

"Okay" I said and he gave me a hug and walked out the front door.

A few minutes later Emily showed up, she had a Ziploc container filled with what looked like cookies.

"Hi" she said going to the kitchen and putting some cookies on a plate and the rest she kept in their container on the counter. Then she came over to me, holding the plate of cookies towards me.

"No thanks, I just ate breakfast" I said, hoping not to hurt her feelings

"Okay" she said setting them down on the coffee table. And maybe it was the way she looked at me, or how pathetic I felt here right now, maybe it was neither, maybe it was more but as soon as she set the cookies down and looked at me I burst into tears, they came down like waterfalls and there was no stopping them. I wasn't even sure why I was crying or if I'd ever be able to stop, but Emily was there with a tissue in hand and her arm around my shoulders comforting me. This gesture only made me cry harder though, but I don't know why. And even though I barely knew her I told her everything, about Edward about my mom and Phil, about Edward leaving me in the forest and about Alice and his whole family, about James and Victoria, about Laurent, about Charlie, and I even told her how I wished I could love Jacob and wished that I could give him my heart but that I couldn't, there was nothing to give, and I even said that I wished Edward would come back, and even though I haven't admitted it to myself, that I still had hope he would come back. Maybe that was why I couldn't move on, because I still had so much hope that he would come back to me. and as I told her things that I haven't even admitted to myself she sat there and listened, didn't offer advice or tell me I was crazy for falling in love with a vampire, well I didn't expect her too, she fell in love with a were wolf didn't she? And I even told her about cutting myself. And I trusted her so completely with these secrets. She listened to me talk and cry until I finally stopped crying and I expected her to say something like "I'm so sorry" or "that sucks" like anyone else would but from the look on her face I could tell; she got it. She's gone through it all before, maybe it wasn't the exact same but she knew the pain, joy and heartache of love. And for us; the danger. And she suddenly stood up and said

"I have some shopping to do…would you like to come?" she asked

"Sure" I said, getting up. I looked down and realized I was in my favorite pair of baggy sweatpants and a oversized sweatshirt I didn't recognize.

"We can stop by my house and you can borrow some clothes if you'd like" Emily said

"Okay thanks" I said and we got in her car and left to her house.

"Bella?" I heard Edward say as I came back to reality.

"Huh?" I replied

"Are you okay?" Edward asked

"Yeah… I'm fine"

Okay so like I said im kind of stuck…and im having trouble thinking of other things to write and I want your opinion on some things so please review and tell me like your answers for these questions

Do you like hearing about Jacob? Should I put him in the story more…in the present I mean???

Do you like the flashbacks???

Any ideas on cool twists and stuff for this story (ill give you credit) lol

Should Edward ever find out about Bella cutting herself?? This may not be the most realistic thing ever but I mean with her pain…idk I just kinda liked that idea and I know a lot about it from past experience…but who should tell Edward or what should happen?

Thanks so much and anything else youd like to review about would be great thanks again!!!