Last time:
Draco and Severus left the burrow and went outside to apparate, neither caring to use the floo again.
As they approached the apparation point, they could hear Harry yell "What do you mean suicide?"
Draco looked to Severus and apparated back to Hogwarts to investigate the contents of the journal.
Now:
Draco decided he would read the journal for any clues and only tell Severus if there was anything of interest. He sat down on Hermione's bed, wanting to feel close to her even if she wasn't there. He decided he would look for a date close to when they started dating. He flipped through the pages , finally coming to a date he recognized. He sat back and started to read:
June 13
Today I ran into Malfoy, no clue what he was doing at a muggle party, but none the less, we didn't argue with each other. I was shocked to have an actual conversation with him without the word mud blood spilling from his lips once. He told me he changed and didn't really think of the blood difference anymore. I guess he's cute in his own way...only time will tell.
He flipped through a few more pages before finding another date:
June 23
I ran into Draco today in muggle London, he actually wanted to be around me which was a surprise in itself. We spent almost the entire day together, resulting in him asking if I would date him. I figured he's changed so I said yes.
Draco smiled remembering that day, she had introduced him to muggle bowling and he found it cute the way she would jump up and down when she knocked all the pins over, yelling she got a strike. He flipped the page, decided he needed to continue:
July 24
Wow, its been a while since I've written in here, I guess I've just been busy with Draco. If someone would have told me I would end up dating Draco Malfoy when we were at school, I'd probably laugh at them, but now – things are different, we actually have tons in common, not to mention he has an actual brain and I can hold a conversation with him. Things are great right now.
He smiled at the entry but flipped the page.
August 25
Ron and Harry found out about me and Draco, needless to say, they were less then thrilled. They made me choose between them or Draco. I felt the whole situation was silly, and couldn't see breaking it off with Draco just because y friends didn't approve. I'm sad, but at the same time I think they will come around, after all, I love them in a different way then I do Draco, yes I wrote it, I love Draco Malfoy.
Draco could feel his heart stop, the guilt he had before only intensified as he read her private thoughts."She loved me"He thought to himself. He flipped the page knowing what was more then likely on it, but he needed to read it:
August 28
Draco dumped me today, said he didn't want to hurt his reputation by being seen with me, funny how things work out – a week ago I had two best friends and a boyfriend, now I have no one but my parents, thank merlin for parents. My mum has been trying to comfort me today, I finally told her why I was crying, all she could say was that none of them deserved me and as much as I know shes right, I miss all three of them.
September 7
Do you know how it feels to have everything you love vanish from you? I'll tell you, it sucks. My parents died in a wreck the day before I left for school. I miss them terribly and I don't even have anyone who can comfort me. My friends wont talk to me, and have some how made almost all of the other Gryffindors ignore me as well, some even calling me traitor for dating a slytherin. Draco hardly speaks to me, I just feel my world has crashed down taking everything I care for with it. This whole situation just sucks. I just want my life back, I want my parents back, only they seemed to love me unconditionally.
Draco leaned back on the bed, rubbing his hands over his face. "I was such an idiot" he said to himself, he tried to stop the tears coming from his eyes but couldn't. He did love her, but chose to ignore his feelings – he still loved her and was going to get her back.
Draco lay there, crying softly for Hermione, her life had been turned upside down , and she had no body. He pulled himself up after about 15 minutes and flipped the page:
November 28
I've been so depressed I haven't written in this thing forever, but my depression should end soon. I have been doing some research and found a potion that will take me away from all of this. It takes 15 days to brew, so ill start on December 8th, I need time to get the ingredients anyways.
December 8
I started the potion today as well as my plan of action, I plan to drink the potion on the 23rd of December while everyone else is heading for home. I plan to spend the Holidays with Viktor, spend some time with him before I'm gone, I've asked Dumbledore to allow my holidays to extend so I can visit a few other friends and get thing in order. I will all be over soon, I wont have to choose between people, I wont be there, seeing people die and nobody will have to watch out for their reputation, if everything goes to plan, I'll simply fade away and nobody will even notice.
December 22
Well its almost time to take the potion, it feels so good to know that this weight I've been carrying around for months will be over in a few more short months. I need to take a few things to Ginny tonight, a few books I borrowed over the summer before all hell broke loose. Oh well, I guess life doesn't always end up how we planned, I'll be with my parents soon, the only ones who truly cared for me and that is the only thing keeping me going for the time being.
Draco flipped the page, finding nothing else written, surly Ginny would have read this and known what she was planning, but if she did, why didn't she say anything to anyone. It just didn't make sense to him. He lay back thinking of all that were written in the little black book, trying to think of a battle plan. He closed his eyes, snuggling his face into her pillow where he could still smell her shampoo and fell asleep, he'd go to Severus in the morning to figure everything out.
