Kitty
Naruto grunted angrily as he lay underneath one of the long desks in Iruka-Sensei's class, with a small metal scrapper and a bucket. For calling his 'Esteemed' Sensei a 'Baka', he was given a week long detention, and Iruka wasn't giving him any slack either. The first thing Iruka-Sensei told him to do as punishment; was to rearrange the bookshelf on the right hand wall. The second thing he had told Naruto to do, was what he was currently doing; scrapping wads of chewed gum that had been discarded by sticking to the bottom of the long desk. So far, in the last hour, he had managed to clean the gum off the last two rows on the left side of the class. Now, he was on the third.
"You know, Naruto;" Iruka started from his position in the front of the class, looking over a stack of papers and grading them with red pen. "If you didn't call people names, you probably wouldn't be in this kind of situation."
"Merglefriggafrucka!" Naruto muttered from under the desk, ramming the scrapper hard against a rock hard piece of gum that refused to come off. 'I hate Sakura…' he told himself angrily. He knew where his now ex-crush sat in class, and he was currently in that spot scrapping off what was probably her rock hard piece of pink gum.
"What was that, Naruto?" Iruka asked.
"Nothing!" Naruto growled out, smashing the scrapper in to the stubborn piece of gum again and again.
There were a couple minutes of near silence between Sensei and pupil, and the only noise that could be heard was Naruto grunting occasionally with effort as he used the scrapper against the gum.
Iruka, having decided that he should take a break from grading papers, looked up towards where one of Naruto's legs stuck out just over the top of the desk. "Naruto…" he called, trying to get the boy to sit up and look at him. Unfortunately the battle between the young blonde and the rock hard gum was taking precedent. "You seemed kind of preoccupied in class today…Is there something on your mind?"
"No…" the blonde replied. "GAH!" There was a loud sound that reverberated throughout the class room and the blonde started hollered and started kicking his legs profusely.
"Are you alright, Naruto?" Iruka asked, standing up from behind his desk and moving towards the small blonde who was busy rolling around. As Iruka rounded around the desk where the blonde was thrashing about, he noticed that Naruto holding head with his left hand and squinting in pain. "Naruto?"
Without warning, Naruto started to sit up, forgetting that he was currently underneath the desk and smacked his head off the bottom of the counter-like-desk and started to trash about even more wildly than he had been seconds prior.
"OUCH!" he shouted. Sighing, Iruka stepped into the isle and grabbed Naruto's left arm and pulled him out from underneath the desk.
"You okay?"
"No!" Naruto huffed angrily. The blonde moved his hand away from his head, and Iruka could see a nasty looking gash had formed on the blonde's forehead. "The stupid Sakura's gum broke the scrapper..." Naruto explained, looking hatefully at the gum wad from his position. "I accidentally cut myself with the broken part…" Naruto finished, his face turning bright red as he did so. It was embarrassing to inform someone that they had been beaten by a stubborn piece of rock hard gum.
"Really?" Iruka asked, though it came out more as a sarcastic tone than he realized.
"YEAH!" Naruto shouted at the scared man, his blue eyes narrowed with anger and pain. Grabbing something from under the desk, Naruto nearly shoved the broken piece of metal into Iruka's left eye, causing the man to jump back out of fear of going blind. "See?!"
Taking a moment to catch his breath, and to calm his now speeding heart, he carefully took the piece of metal and inspected it. '…it really did break under pressure…' "Naruto, stand up for a moment, would you?" The blonde nodded and slowly got to his feet and moved back from the desk that harbored the evil piece of gum. Iruka turned around, sat down and laid down. He made a face as he slid himself underneath the desk and gazed at all the gum wads left behind over the years. "Which one is it?"
"The pink one…" the way that Naruto spat out the word 'pink'…if only Iruka knew that Naruto's obsession over the only pink haired girl in his class had withered and died over the course of about ten minutes…
Searching for the pink wad of gum, Iruka found himself starring at a rather large wad of pink gum, right over his face. With a sigh, he took the broken, and now kind of bloody tool, and slowly chipped away at the pink mound.
"The key to removing gum from the desks, Naruto, isn't brute force, but small, gentle strikes that will slowly chip away at it." Iruka said with a small smile as he continued chipping away at the pink mound. After a few minutes of slowly, gently, chipping away at the wad of gum, his small smile had been overrun by a large and rather nasty scowl.
"Not so easy, is it, Sensei?" Naruto asked, dabbing at the gash on his forehead with a sleeve.
"Shut up!" the older man snipped. He wasn't angry at the blonde, but the piece of gum should have come off by now. Taking the blade, Iruka hesitated for a moment and closed his eyes. With a deep breath, he slowly opened his eyes…and then with a shout, he rammed the piece of metal into the gum wad…only for the wad of gum to seemingly move out of the way of the blade. "What the hell…"
"It moved on you too, huh?" Naruto asked. "It did that to me too…before…it broke the blade."
"It broke the blade?" Iruka asked, looking at the boy, who seemed to be standing upside down.
"Yeah…"
"I thought you said that it broke when you stabbed it?" Iruka asked.
"Well, it did…but it broke it...grabbed it and broke it and everything…" the blonde mumbled.
"...If I hadn't seen it myself, I'd smack you for being an idiot…" Iruka said. Staring at the wad of gum, which was now closer to his chest then over his face, like it had when he found it. Suddenly, in the darkness created by the desk, the gum wad turned around and glared at Iruka. It had tiny gray eyes and a black line running across it. Suddenly, it opened its line like mouth and a black tongue appeared.
"Pbpbpbpbpbpt!"
"…I think I'm done for the day…" Iruka said as his brain tried to figure out what he had just witnessed. Slowly, but carefully moving away from the living gum wad, he made his way back into the light of the classroom, and stared up at Naruto. "Did it blow a raspberry at you too?"
"No…it flicked me off though…"
"Huh…" Iruka said intelligently. "I think we should report this to the Hokage…what do you think, Naruto?" 'I am NOT teaching students in a classroom infested with demonic pieces of chewed, rock hard gum…no way in hell…'
"Yes, Sensei…" Naruto nodded, still sopping up the blood from his wound. "Can I go now?"
"Sure…let me walk you home…I'll put some healing balm on your head once we get to your house…" Iruka offered.
"Okay…" Naruto agreed. "Jiji might be there too…"
"Why would Hokage-Sama be at your house, Naruto?" Iruka asked curiously.
"…Taking care of Kitty…" Naruto said, turning his head away from Iruka.
"…Naruto…If I find that this 'Kitty' of yours is real, then I'll wave your detention…'kay?" Iruka said as he got to his feet. "But if I don't…then…well..." Iruka trailed off as he turned back to look at Sakura's seat in his class. "Maybe not scrapping gum…but you'll still have detention for the rest of the week."
"Okay…" Naruto said with a smirk.
"Go ahead and get your stuff…I have to go get the papers and then we can be off." Iruka instructed the young boy, who nodded slowly and kind of stiffly.
--
"Where is Owner?" Yugito asked the old man in front of her. Her black eyes (1) digging in the man' gray eyes.
"Nii-San," Sarutobi started, sounding slightly exasperated; "first of all, please don't call him 'Owner'," the elderly man paused for a brief second, shaking his head off any dirty thoughts that had started to form. 'Last thing I need is a nose bleed.' Yume, the only female in the Kumo-Trio who had come in search of Nii Yugito, had told him of the jinchuriki of the Nibi's great distaste for perverts…it scared him slightly. "His name is Naruto." The young woman nodded slightly. "And he isn't home yet, because he probably was given a detention."
"Detention?"
"Huh?" Sarutobi asked, looking at the blonde girl in front of him. No matter how old she was, she was technically a girl to someone who was older and already had a grandchild.
"Detention…what is a 'detention'?" the blonde asked again, from her spot on the floor.
"You've never heard of it before?" Sarutobi asked.
"No."
"Okay…" it was…odd…of course, she was a jinchuriki and was probably trained separately from her peers. "A detention is a punishment dealt to children who either didn't do what they are told or, did something that they aren't supposed to. Knowing Naruto, he's probably in detention right now for swearing or pushing someone." The boy, up until Yugito came into his life, was rather mean child. Of course, he was a product of his environment.
"Do these 'detentions' hurt?" the blonde asked, her eyes narrowing slightly.
"They can…depending on who's in charge of the detention, yes." Sarutobi answered. "However, most instructors don't hurt their students." The blonde nodded slowly, thought Sarutobi wasn't quite sure if she comprehended it fully.
"When will 'Naruto' get home?" Yugito asked, testing the given name of her Owner for the second time that day. It was odd. 'Fish paste swirls…' she thought to herself. Suddenly, she licked her lips, making one of Sarutobi's eyebrows to rise in confusion.
'Wha?' "Uh…usually detention's last about three hours after the last class, which would mean…" Sarutobi trailed off, checking his pocket watch, which had a picture of a smiling monkey on it, picked out by his grandson for his birthday. Konohamaru was four, after all… "At about 6pm, he should be back."
"6pm…" the assassin repeated slowly. Suddenly, with a nod, Yugito turned around and crawled on the floor, leaving the aged leader of Konohagakure with an…ample…view as she rounded a corner and left his sight.
'Oh…my…Kami…' Sarutobi told himself, patting his chest, right above his heart. 'She'll be the death of me if she keeps doing that…' Sarutobi, lost in his thoughts, didn't hear the door opening…Yugito however, did.
"Don't touch it, you Idiot!" a slightly aggravated man's voice flooded the large mansion.
"Bu-But, it's bleeding again!" a younger voice followed it.
"That's because you keep picking at it!" the man's voice came again.
Sarutobi, lost in thought, shook his head quickly and started to look around.
"DON'T TOUCH IT!"
"BUT IT HURTS!"
Suddenly, as quick as lightning, a pale, yellow streak sped out from behind the corner and leapt down the stairs. There was one thing going through Sarutobi's mind as he realized what was happening.
"MeeRROOOWWW!!! HHHIIISSSHHH!"
"AAAHHH!"
"Oh shit…"
--
Iruka was starting to get irritated with Naruto's antics. Since they left the academy, the boy had re-opened the wound on his forehead twice, and now that it had stopped bleeding, for the third time, he was touching it again.
"Stop touching it, Naruto, you'll open it again…" Iruka ground out.
"But…my forehead feels weird…all the blood is drying…it feels like dried mud…" Naruto protested. "I just want to wipe it off…"
"First of all, Naruto, how do you know what dried mud feels like when it's on your forehead?" Iruka asked.
"…uh…" Naruto started. How could he tell him that it was when he was used as a diversion for a peeping tom at the onsen last year. He didn't get beat up by the women…but he didn't get away scot-free either. "Never mind…" the purple haired woman…she was crazy…
"…fine…" Iruka said, letting the question go for now. "Anyways, if you keep rubbing it off, you'll just keep re-opening it. Wait till we get back and I'll take care of it; okay?"
"'Kay." Naruto huffed.
Iruka had been inside of Naruto's house before, several times in fact; but he had just learned of the genjutsu that protected him and the house last year when he dropped a sleeping Naruto off in his bed. It was amazing and dangerous that he had given him permission to enter in his sleep. 'Let's just hope no one from another village…or this village for that matter; gets in that way…'
Turning his gaze upwards, he saw the large 'abandoned' building jutting out from the corner and smiled softly. Soon, Naruto would be patched up, and he'd head to the Hokage's Tower to tell him of the academy's newest problem…if the old shinobi wasn't inside waiting for Naruto, like the boy said he might be.
'Kitty…' he thought to himself. He still didn't believe it, but the boy had been preoccupied basically the whole day while in class.
Within a few minutes, they pair had made their way to the front door, and Iruka smiled to himself. He opened the door…
"It's bleeding again…"
'DAMN IT!' "Don't touch it, you Idiot!" Iruka snarled as he pushed the door open and grabbed the blonde's blood covered right hand and pulled him inside, shutting the door behind him.
"Bu-But, it's bleeding again!" the boy protested, frowning up at Iruka.
"That's because you keep picking at it!" Iruka told the blonde irately, glaring at the blue eyed boy as he did. But, as if he hadn't listened to him, the boy's left hand started to move up towards the gash…he quickly grabbed the appendage. "DON'T TOUCH IT!"
"BUT IT HURTS!" the boy shouted back, moving away from Iruka and glared at him…his glare, in the dim light of his house was pretty intimidating…
"You're going to infect it if you keep touching it-" Iruka had started to explain to the boy that if he kept touching the gash, it could get infected and make him ill…However, he had no chance to finish as he was tackled by a pale, lightning fast blur that sent him into the door he had just entered.
"MeeRROOOWWW!!! HHHIIISSSHHH!"
"AAAHHH!"
--
Yume, the only female member of the Kumo-Trio, glanced up from the desk she was sitting at, and looked out the window. She could have sworn she heard someone scream for their life. 'Oh well…' she told herself as she looked back at the desk. The letter she had sent out to the Raikage had seemingly made it to the big man, because she was staring at the letter that had been sent via hawk. '…Someone's gonna cry…' she thought to herself. 'But who?'
--
Iruka starred fearfully at the blonde teen, female, blonde teen, who had just body checked him into the heavy wood door behind him. He didn't doubt that he might have received a broken bone or two from that attack. He looked at the teen, and the snarl on her face, which was only enhanced by the sight of three fang like teeth and a feline like growling coming from her throat.
He looked at Naruto from his location, who was starring at the two, wide eyed and slightly afraid. However, as the seconds flew by, Iruka saw the boy's face split open with a real, genuine smile and tackled the teen who was currently snarling at him.
"NARUTO!" he hollered, wincing in pain as he did so. He was afraid that the crazed teen would turn around and attack the boy…but amazingly, she just let herself be tackled to the ground and rolled over the still bleeding boy and let him hug her, burying his head into the side of her ample chest. Iruka couldn't help the gulp that emitted from his throat.
"KITTY!" the boy shouted, hugging the teen, who simply smiled slightly and…licked him…
Iruka's brain shut down…
'Sh-S-She-She just licked him!'
"Iruka!" the academy sensei felt his head snap to his right and found himself staring at the Hokage, who wore a face of concern and fear. "Are you alright?" he asked, kneeling near him. The action stopped the young blonde woman from licking Naruto and earned a growl from her. As she did so, Iruka saw it. The headband.
'K-Ku-Kumo!?' "Hokage-Sama!" Iruka barked, he winced while doing so. "She's from K-Ku-Kumo!" As a Chuunin of Konohagakure, he had to make sure that the Hokage survived…so, he took a kunai from his leg pouch…which he was promptly bopped on the head for doing so…by the Hokage himself! "N-Nani?"
"I know she's from Kumo, Umino-San." Sarutobi said with a sigh. "She showed up here nearly a week ago…she's…different."
'No shit!' Iruka swore at the older man mentally, and at the same time thanking Kami that the older man couldn't read his thoughts. "Wh-What is she doing he-here?" he asked.
"Currently, she's protecting her…Owner…" Sarutobi said, a healthy or unhealthy amount of blush appearing on his aged face as he stated that.
"Wha?" Iruka asked intelligently.
"That's what I said." The older man chuckled lightly. "Somehow, she managed to find herself in Konoha, with no memories and acting like a cat…Naruto found her, brought her here, cleaned her up and-"
"Cleaned her up?" Iruka asked, casting a side glance at the blonde teen, who was glaring at him in a manner that reminded him of Tora when the fat cat he chased when he was a boy, was angry. Thankfully, she kept her distance. Tora…didn't.
"He uh…gave her a bath…" the older man coughed slightly.
"He gave her a…"
"HIISSS!"
Iruka looked at the teen, whose face had turned into a nasty snarl, showing four fangs now and a vicious gleam in her eyes. The fact that she had black eyes only made her look even more frightening than she was moments before. He looked at the Hokage, who made a nose movement while looking at him pointedly and Iruka figured out why the insane blonde woman had snarled at him. He had a nose bleed.
"Anyways…she has become extremely protective of Naruto…and seeing that he's bleeding…and you shouting at him…well…" Sarutobi half explained and half shrugged.
'Okay…so now I know why I got body checked into the door...' Iruka told himself.
"And while we're talking about it…why is his head bleeding?" the older man asked, his tone dropping several decibels as he did so. The temperature in the room seemed to do the same thing too. Iruka suddenly felt like a rabbit in a snare…
"Well…you see…Naruto was late for class, and gave me a poor excuse…" Iruka started to explain, the Hokage nodding slowly as he told the tale.
--
The Next Morning
--
Iruka sat down stiffly in the chair behind his desk and sighed tiredly. He had taken to the hospital after Sarutobi managed to get Naruto off of…'Kitty'…and patched the boy's forehead up. Looking out at his class, he spotted Naruto, snickering at him from his seat in the back. He pointedly ignored the boy and began the day.
"Good morning, class." He greeted, earning a chorus of greetings in return. "Before we begin, I'd like to ask Sakura to please move to the open space behind Hinata."
"Huh? Why?" the pink haired girl asked in a state of near panic.
"Because, your seat has been deemed a hazard to all who sit there…" the girl, and the rest of the class, save for Naruto, who nodded, fear and anger in his eyes as he stared at the girl's seat. As the pink haired girl finished her trek from one seat to the other, Iruka spoke again. "And, Sakura…"
"Yes, Sensei?" she asked, all spirit gone from her voice, making her seem almost lifeless.
"You are no longer permitted to chew gum within this establishment. If you have any with you, then please put it on the desk and I'll be around to pick it up in a bit." Iruka said.
"Huh? Why?" she asked again. "Why can't I chew my gum?"
"Hokage-Sama's orders. Take it up with him." The Chuunin informed the girl.
"Hai, Sensei…" her voice utterly lifeless. Within a minute there was a large pack of pink gum sitting on the top of the desk. 'We'll talk to that old Fart if it's the last thing we do! Cha!' Inner Sakura shouted somewhere in the back of her mind. Sakura didn't notice it, but the kids sitting around her did, but she had started to grin evilly as her inner-self began to talk to her.
'Cr-Creepy…'
Iruka stood up, walked to Sakura's new seat and took the pack of gum. As he made his way back to his desk, he looked at the pack of gum and read the label.
Get Miko fresh breath!
One strip of Miko Gum equals long lasting, cool, fresh breath!
!Warning!
Don't stick Miko Gum under desks!
Side effects of doing so may vary between one or even a horde of Gum Demons!
Iruka shuddered slightly as he pocketed the pack of gum. There were approximately six sticks of gum gone, and who knew how long Sakura had been chewing this kind of gum before the monster gum made its self known? He tried and failed to suppress a shudder as he sat back down in his seat.
Shaking his head, and slapping a grin on his face, Iruka began the day's lesson.
"Does anyone know what the name for medical jutsu are called?" After last night's surprise attack, one that went un-avenged for; Iruka thought that it may be helpful if he pushed healing jutsu into the kids' minds. There was a collective groan from the class and Iruka's smile quickly became strained with annoyance.
End
Omake: based off of a real situation where one of my classmates got smacked by his sister's cat…twice…
Shinn, the loudmouth member of the Kumo-Trio looked at the scarred faced man in front of him and burst out laughing.
"HAHAHAHA! YOU GOT BEAT UP BY A GIRL!" Before Iruka had a chance to retort, a small, orange and white blur shot out from underneath the brush that surrounded the sides of Naruto's hidden mansion, and was suddenly sent flying back a good ten feet. Landing on his rear, he looked around only to find a small orange and white cat with glaring at him.
"And you just got Pussy-Smacked" Iruka replied with a smirk. Shinn looked at the cat and glared. The cat simple smirked and opened its mouth...
"Meow…bitch…" with that, the cat shot off into the forest, hiding itself for the next Genin team that had to retrieve it and bring it back.
This was written all in one night…and took me…I don't know how long to write. I know I listened to CD 1 of The Essential Alive in Chains about five times…start to finish…
Anyways, there are some parts to this plot…wait a minute! There is no plot! There may be one later…but at the moment, it has none…therefore making it easier to write lol. Yes, the gum has a part to play in the future…What? Wait and see my dear readers.
Anyways…for those of you who don't know, I have two new stories on my profile. Heir of Uzu, which will hopefully become an epic length story, and another humor story called, Tenko-Sama. Read them if you want to.
lol...I forgot to add my note...silly me.
1. It was rather hard to find out what color Yugito's eyes are since she doesnt appear in more than one chapter in the manga and only part of an episode in the anime, so I chose black for her eye color.
Hope you enjoyed this chapter...
Ja.
