.: ~ Warning ~ :.
~I do not own Hetalia or any of the characters
~No copyright infringement, this is purely for my - and the readers - entertainment.
~It will get graphic in later chapters, I do have a story planned for this; it will not just be smut {as much as we all looove smut c;}
~This chapter required a little bit of research aha
~Sorry for the wait.
~I hope it is a better update then the last.
**If you play 'Break Even' by The Script when the flash back starts, it will help you feel the mood**
Break Even, Or Break The Ice
..
The dark haired man smiled as he sat behind the wheel his green eyes fixed on the road before him. This certainly wasn't what he thought this evening would of been like. He thought it would of been like every other time; go in, meet the 'star' make a plan, go home and so forth. This was the first time he ended up taking the 'star' out for dinner. Without paying much attention he unintentionally let a small sigh slip,
"What?!" the passenger piped up immediately. Casting a quick side glance to the grumpy brunette he chuckled and shook his head, his eyes returning to the road,
"Nothing, sheesh. Lighten up, there," he said with a warm chuckle. The other seemed so uptight, no, he wasn't uptight; he seemed to be much more nervous then anything. At his response he could heard a low mumbling from beside him and he felt the tips of his mouth tip into a small smile. He had been given an address to a Italian restaurant downtown; thought he was told this was a good place he wondered if Lovino was going to like the location. Nothing would start off their time together like a place that he hated.
"Yeah, yeah," the younger muttered, resting his chin in his hand, staring outside the window. They drove in complete silence for a little while before Lovino looked over at the driver, "Hey can I turn the radio on?"
Antonio felt his grip on the wheel tighten ever-so slightly before he gave a nervous chuckle, "No, my radio doesn't work, but we can talk if you don't like the silence?" He suggested. He didn't want to lie to the other, but he just couldn't think right if he had the radio on, to many memories would come rushing back and he couldn't take that right now.
"Fine, what do you wanna talk about..?" he heard the other huff, once again staring out the window. With a quick side glace at Lovino, Antonio had to wonder what was on his mind. Was he just bad at talking casually with others? Or maybe he just really hated him? He really hoped it was the first option.
"Well, hmm how many producers before me have you ha-"
"Twenty. Your Twenty-one" His response was so perfect, he knew the exact number and didn't even hesitate. This made Antonio wonder just how many times he had been asked this question. Either way, he as determined to be the last. He was going to make sure he made Lovino the best there is, and he wouldn't rest until he was able to make that happen. He knew so little of the brunette before him, and yet the little bit he knew only makde him want to try that much harder.
"I see, and how many years have you been in the career?" he asked, poking just a little bit furthure. This response was as quick and as sure as the first one had been,
"Umm.. Two years pofessionally, but I've been singing since I was just a little kid.." he said, his voice a lot less harsh and cold and more, thoughtful. Not even thoughtful, but it sounded a little bit sad, thought Antonio was nearly one hundred percent sure he was hearing things. Casting a quick glance to the passengers seat all he could see was the back of the others head before he looked forward to look at the approching building.
Upon finding a parking spot and making their way in and to their private, reserved seats, they sat in a heavy silence. The overwhelming smell of all of the Italian food was a little bit too much for Antonio, but seeing how much more relaxed Lovino looked in the setting he could live with it. Taking a sip from his clear glass of water he let his gaze taking in the attractive young man before him before looking at the menu before him,
"Do you have any idea what you are ordering?" He asked, trying to start up some kind of conversation once more. He watched as the other gave the menu another quick scan before he nodded his head, folding the menu and placing it back on the table. Sitting back he looked directly at Antonio and said,
"I am going to have Pasta e fagioli," he said, the word naturally bringing out the Italian accent within Lovino, not that he looked like he cared all that much. In fact, Antonio noticed the slight twitch at the corner of the others lips as he said the word the proper Italian way and he bit back all responses he had. Lovino was such a smart ass, but it was simply adorable the way he did it. With a small chuckle Antonio gave a slight nod of his head and he laid his open menu open,
"I think I will have the.. Penne All'arrabbiata.." he said slowly, making sure to pronounce it properly, even thought that didn't really do much as he noticed the snicker come almost instantly from across the table. Looking at the other he simply lifted a single brow at the other and watched as he laughed softly, now outloud.
"Nice job, Idiot. Even if you had to read it slowly, sound by sound like a little child, you managed to say it right." the Italian managed to say as his laughing slowly grew a little bit louder. To be honest, Antonio had never heard the normally stone cold young man laugh, let alone this much. Even thought his words were an insult, he was a little bit proud he had at least managed to say the word right. It seemed to silly, but it was nice, seeing the other laugh like that.
Finally composing himself in time for the waitress to come, they both ordered their meals only to have Lovino giggle a little bit once again,
"Am I really that bad?" Antonio said with a light chuckle. HIs response was a shake the head followed by the sound of the other clearing their throat.
"Not bad, its good for someone who is not Italian, but it just sounds funny to me, I mean you say it with a bit of a Spanish accent, and it makes it sound so weird. Sorry if I offended you by laughing.." he explained, before looking away a bit at his last words. In surprise, Antonio blinked. He was stunned, the other had apologized for laughing at him? That was surly not something he had been expecting. Shaking his head he just smiled,
"Oh no, I completely understand. I mean you make it sound so perfect, knowing exactly how to say it and with your accent, I would laugh to if I could of heard myself." he said quickly, he didn't want Lovino to feel bad about it, especially since he really didn't care that much about it. Seeing as the air had grown a little bit awkward, Antonio decided he could try a little more casual talk now. Placing one elbow on the table he rested his chin on it and looked at the other sitting across from him, "So, Tell me a little bit about yourself, Lovino."
"Well, when I was young me and my twin brother live with our grandfather since our parents were always fighting, then we got separated since the government didn't think our grandfather was young enough to look after us, then I was forced into all these groups at school cause I had 'talent'. I finished school and got a job as an entertainer singer at a bar through a friend, and then I was 'discovered' and here I am now. Oh and I love tomatoes.." he added deciding it would be best that the Spaniard knew his limits and what wasn't safe to poke at, seeing as he liked to ask a lot of questions. "How about you, Mr.I-Ask-A-Lot-Of-Questions?"
With just a lift of his brow at the name and a nod, Antonio started, "Me? Well I grew up in a small home, me and my mom, then I went and got a major in music and was going to become a music teacher when a family friend gave me money from their will and I met someone who wanted to be famous and they had talent, so I started to fund them and from there we started our careers, Gilbert became Shot and then I met Arthur.." he said, a brief second of pain flashed through him but he went on, "I got close to him, made him big.. before he completely threw me aside, and then I am here now, Trying to make a little brat a superstar." he said, finishing it with a light laugh. He saw Lovino narrow his eyes a bit followed by a small huff.
Neither of them had a chance to say anything else when the waitress came back and put their dishes before them, giving a warm smile and leaving. Before Lovino was a simply white plate with a white bowl on it, inside were a bunch of small circular noodles that swam in a foggy broth. The small bits of beans and tomatoes were there under the soft garlic aroma.
The meal before Antonio was a simple and more common Italian dish. The long Penne noodles were stained under the red pasta sauce, topped with small bits of parsley topping it off.
Both meals looked simply wonderful, and neither of them wasted their time digging into them. The silence returned over them, but it was a lot less awkward or heavy, it was a much more calming silence. All sound be heard was the soft clinking of their silverware tapping against the plate/bowl. Each savoring their meals there was no conversation until Lovino decided to break it,
"So.. what was between you and Arthur?" He said before putting another spoonful of his soup into his mouth, his eyes looking into Anotnio's as he awaited his response. Though the question was so simple, it had taken Antonio by surprise and he swallowed his food without chewing it properly and coughed a bit. With that he gave a nervous laugh,
"Aha, well... Umm we got together shortly after we started working together, and after two years I had purposed to him .. and then one night I caught him cheating on me and well he left me and that was the last time I had ever spoken to him.." he said slowly and his eyes glued to the plate. He didn't want Lovino to see his pain, the way his eyes wanted to water as he fought to push back the memory.
"O-oh .. I'm sorry to hear, that must of been hard... S-sorry I asked.." the Italian said, feeling bad for bringing it up, but at the same time he wanted to tell the other to get over it, but he didn't know how to do that without being rude or coming off as a total douche.
Antonio shook his head and looked at the other with a smile, "No its alright, you deserve to know in a sense, It's all good now."
..
The rest of the night started off awkward but soon turned into light casual conversation. They talked almost like they had been friends who hadn't seen each other in ages, it was nice but the night was approaching its end and they would have to go their own ways once again. The drive back was not nearly as quiet as the first, and they got there in no time.
..
Finally saying their goodbyes, Antonio made his way home. The silence that had fallen upon the car was so sudden, and rather unsettling. For once, he was uncomfortable with the silence in his car as he drove home. He felt a haunting feeling creep up on him before finally taking hold of him, making the memories from his worst night return. Quickly pulling into his driveway he parked and crossed his arms over the wheel, resting his head upon them.
The car was in complete silence, yet it was so loud. All the thoughts that currently ran through his mind was like a tornado coming back to finish what it had started. Feeling his heart sink in his chest he tried to ignore the thoughts that came over him. He wished these memories would fade away the way his first love had. But instead they grew louder and louder every time he tried to move on.
The rain outside was light, it wasn't heavy but it was very noticeable. The car was pretty quiet, except for the radio. Antonio was driving to his Fiancees house, he was trying so hard to keep his mind clear. But with the music playing in the car as he drove and the rain, he could feel it already. Something about tonight was terrible, it was wrong to go over to the others house. The song played on, making the bad thoughts to overpower everything else,
'What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK?
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces'
The pain quickly distorted his face as he drove, those lovely features turn into suck a terrible expression. Things had been getting kind of bumpy between them as of late, but he wanted to come over and patch things up, he loved him so much.
'They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks no it don't break even, even... no
What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you?
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK?
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
('Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even)'
Finally, Antonio snapped. Pushing the power button on the radio he shut it off. Why did the music place at all of the wrong times? Before he met Arthur, he never once turned on his radio. Music made him think and remember things, things from his past that belonged there. After awhile, he ended up listening to it all of the time. They would cuddle and sing together to the songs and laugh, joke and cook. They did everything, music had become a big part of his life.
The silence pierced him, it was so cold and alone now, but he felt more at peace.
The ride was over in the next five minutes. Pulling up the driveway he made his way slowly up the steps and he took a deep breath. He felt nervous, something told him he shouldn't be there, he should go home while he still had the chance. But, his quivering hand had other plans as it lifted and knocked on the door.
The wait was long, but it really did drag itself out. Finally the door opened and those green eyes met his and he smiled. Antonio could feel his heart flip around in his chest, the other was so mesmerizing, it was like he was a dream. Not to mention that small strip of metal around his finger made him smile. That small little ring was the proof that Arthur was his, and no one else's.
"Antonio!" He said, his eyes lit up, but something was missing. Catching the blonde as he threw his arms around his neck, the brunette held his waist and kissed his cheek,
"Surprise, Mi corazón!*" He said with a warm laugh before pulling away. Planting a quick kiss on his lips they quickly went inside, out of the rain. Taking his shoes off he smiled and they sat on the couch, their legs touching and arms quickly around each other. No time was waster in cuddling one another.
"Antonio, what brings you here?" the other asked, looking up at him. Taking a moment to think, Antonio didn't know how to explain. He just felt like he needed to come,
"I was driving home from picking up some bread for breakfast tomorrow. noticed where I was and dropped by," the laugh explained. He smiled and kissed the others forehead, then he felt the other move away and lift a thick brow,
"Really?" he questioned. The way they knew each other like the back of their hands was a big downfall sometimes. There were time that things were better left unsaid, and this was one of them.
"Well.. You see, I don't know why I came over. I just felt like I shoul-" he was cut off after a few moments. A loud voice came from upstairs. It was a bit lazy, but loud,
"Arthur? Who's there?" The voice finally had a face as another blonde peeked around the corner, his blue eyes were big, almost innocent. They held a kind of innocence of a child, yet they suddenly grew serious when they saw Antonio. "Never mind... I'll go back to bed."
Watching the other turn and retreat the way he had come, Antonio was left staring at where the other male had just been standing. His lips were parted slightly, his mouth agape in shock. The hell was going on?! Turning his green gaze to the man next to him on the couch he looked into the green eyes he loved only to see indifference.
"Art-"
"No. Antonio. I'm sorry." Was all he said. His eyes shined ever so softly with hurt and sadness. He felt his heart shattered right then and there, it was like someone had frozen it an shattered it to the point where it could never be fixed. The pain distorted his face as he looked at Arthur,
"Why?" That was all he could think, all his voice could manage to spit out. The pain was so deeply laced into Antonio, he didn't even try to mask it as it slid with her words. Arthur stood and walked away from the couch, he had nothing to say. He had no reason? he needed answers! Grabbing the bottom of the others shirt he held him there, "Please, just tell me why.."
"Because I fell out of love with you." The silence that had lasted between them before those words, oh how scary silence was. Those words were like a snake striking its prey, waiting and building up before striking quickly with a venomous blow. Oh how he wished those words had killed him, "you were more focased in my music, and Alfred gave me all his time he had.. It just happened, okay?"
The grip on the shirt loosened, then his hand fell to his side as he stood.
"Why would you do this to me? I gave you my heart, I gave you my time, I gave you whatever you wanted! I even made your dream of music come true.. I was waiting to give my life to you, but you decided I wasn't enough. You cheated on me, you wear my ring on your finger yet you sleep with another man! what the hell!" The brunette said, his voice low but slowly growing. He couldn't believe this! This was ridiculous, he had given so much and in the end he was tossed aside like garbage.
"Just shut up, Antonio!"
"Why Arthur?!"
"You don't underst-"
"What?! I don't understand that I gave you everything you ever wanted and more?! That you didn't even have the balls to leave me, but instead waited until I found you with someone else?! Then you decided it was a good time to tell me that you don't love me?! You were going to keep playing me, weren't you?!" He said, now shouting. He couldn't help it, he was hurt beyond believe. He couldn't believe all of this happened.
"Antonio"
With that a silence fell upon the room. The blonde who stood before him let his eyes met his, his thick brows furrowing slowly. Those sweet green eyes drew dark with flames of hate. The long forgotten pain was slowly reaching out to grab Antonio once again. That terrible, beast, digging and clawing its way into what was left of his heart; then to inject it with flames of pain that would flicker on and on, until it would finally be put out. Then it got worse. His sorrowed eyes watched as the ring from the others hand was removed and tossed to his feet.
"Just get the bloody hell out of my house, Antonio! We are finished! I never want to see your stupid face ever again!" That thick accent hissed at him. His green eyes were almost like liquid pools of emerald at this point, the edges brimming with the tears he so desperately tried to fight off. The pain only dug deeper, planting the flames of pain in his heart. It was a terrible scene to witness and feel. The feeling in the back of your throat, the sting behind your eyes when you are fighting off tears. The way his body shook ever so slightly and his chest felt like it was slowly being ripped out. Seeing the love of his life say he hated him, the hate in his eyes, the bitterness in his voice.
This was no joke.
Antonio stood straight and gave a small nod. Taking a shaky breath he said in a soft voice, "Very well. I will leave. You .. You'll never have to see me again, I'll leave you alone as you wish", and with that he turned away and removed his own ring, placing it on the table by the door. He grabbed the handle and turned it slowly, stepping through the door, simply letting it fall shut behind him.
The utter pain that shot him in the chest was enough to make his gasp out, his hands clutching the wheel until his knuckles were white. Finally letting go he leaned back in the seat, the darkness of his driveway was welcoming at this point. He winced and removed his keys, getting out. He need to sleep, he needed to get that ungrateful man out of his head.
Once inside he stood in the kitchen, his hands on the edge of he sink, the glass empty beside it. He took a few deep breaths before he heard that alert tone the one he had set a few years back. One he hadn't heard in forever. Fear gripped him as he pulled his phone out and unlocked it, looking at the new message.
Arthur Kirkland - What's up, love?
Translations;;
Mi corazón - My Heart
..
~Sorry for the lack of an update, I have no internet on my laptop and just got a new one so it took longer to upload. I also have work and I've started school again soon, so I apologize for lack of updates. I also have a Black Butler Fanfic I need to rewrite a chapter for. Please check out that Fanfic as well, I think it is better done then this one. c:
~I hope you enjoyed this
~This is far from the end
~I have a lot planned for these two
~There will be a lot of drama, and a lot of fluff after a while, but don't think Roma is gunna get soft!
~Next Chapter will be a bit different c;
~Please review, I loove feedback
~Fave it if you think its worth it
